Eli Easton > Eli's Quotes

“I didn’t kiss him back even as my body went wild internally, blood being police escorted to certain extremities, endorphins diving out of my pituitary gland like they were in a Busby Berkeley musical, my heart going all heavy metal.”
― Eli Easton, Superhero

“What you are to me is the guy that I’ve been madly in love with since sixth grade. You’re the guy I think about every night when I’m in bed by myself. You’re the one who doesn’t want me but insists on keeping me tied so close that I can’t have anyone else, who keeps one hand on my collar and the other hand up his girlfriend’s skirt. And I can’t do it anymore!” ~ Jordy”
― Eli Easton, Superhero

“You could move.”
~Abigail Van Buren, "DEAR ABBY" In response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.”
― Abigail Van Buren

“If you want to write a negative review, don't tickle me gently with your aesthetic displeasure about my work. Unleash the goddamn Kraken."

[on Twitter, July 17, 2012]”
― Scott Lynch

“No matter what you do with your life during the day, there's always that moment when you have to wake up with yourself, with yourself and with the person that's sleeping beside you. That's the person that you make a home with, discuss life's big decisions with, share your finances, eat, shop, maybe parent with. That's the person you share your body with forever, kiss, touch, the one you sit on the couch with and watch movies, the one who gives you a hug when you've had a rough day. That's the person you put up a Christmas tree with and arrive home with for the holidays, the person you watch grow old and who still loves you when you're not as nice to look at, the one who holds your hand when you're dying. And none of that had anything to do with wrestling.”
― Eli Easton, Superhero

“The Room was darkened, and Rob struck a match to light candles. As the comforting scent of jasmine and vanilla lifted from the candles around him, Matty took in the dark sheets on the bed - the ones Rob liked because they showed Matty's jizz better.”
― Leta Blake, Training Season

“I guess I might be bi-curious," Ben said quietly."
"What?"
"I said I could be sorta bi-curious," Ben said loudly. "That's someone who is fundamentally straight but is curious about sex with men."
Joshua grunted his opinion of that. "You've been checking out my ass since you were eleven years old, Ben. That's ain't curious, that's convicted.”
― Eli Easton, A Prairie Dog's Love Song

“Joshua tried to find the right words to explain how things were--how they'd always been. "It's like... prairie dogs."
Ben quirked an eyebrow at him.
"You see the holes. 'N' you know the dogs are around, even if you don't see the dogs themselves."
"What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"Gay. Cowboys. They're there. Like a lot of single cowboys, they go into Billings once a month, only they ain't there so see women. There's no point in flingin' yourself around in public, 's all.”
― Eli Easton, A Prairie Dog's Love Song

“Michael scrambled around again and kissed James’s lips and cheeks in brief, silly pecks.
“Breakfast?”
“You offering or ordering?” James grumbled.
“I’m offering to cook if you’re offering up the groceries. Do you have eggs?”
“No, I have sperm. What the hell do they teach you in school these days?”
Michael giggled. “Chicken eggs, wise ass. In your refrigerator.”
― Eli Easton, The Mating of Michael

“Michael looked embarrassed. “No, I don’t really… I mean in real life, I don’t do that. I read BDSM once in a while, but honestly, I prefer the sweeter romances.”
“Sure. I believe you. Bondage Ben.”
“Stop it.” Michael laughed.
“Cracky McCracken.” James flicked an invisible whip.
“I am not! I’m more like Nick Normal.”
“Nipple Clamp Ned.”
“Vince Vanilla.”
James gave him a dubious look and snorted. “I doubt that very much.”
Michael shrugged with an evil little smile. “Well, maybe not entirely vanilla.”
― Eli Easton, The Mating of Michael

“Don't worry about what other people think. Do what makes you happy. Do whatever it takes to make the people in your life happy. Court joy as if it were the air that you needed to breath[e].”
― Eli Easton, The Enlightenment of Daniel

“You're going to drive me crazy, aren't you," Hank said.
"Crazy is an ambiguous term with no clinical meaning, and it's insulting to mental health patients. Can you be more specific?”
― Eli Easton, Unwrapping Hank

“Don't come in, Dad!" Hank said.
"Believe me, I won't," Karma said with a vocal shiver. "Just…I have, um, condoms and lube." And in a mutter, "Your mother made me.”
― Eli Easton, Unwrapping Hank

“Mother, just like the last fifty-five thousand times you’ve mentioned it, I have no intention of getting married and having a family. You’re just going to have to content yourself with the grandchildren you already have.” ...
...
His mother narrowed her eyes at him. He could see her mind working on how to get him to come around. She was never going to give up, and she would be fit and healthy enough to badger him about it for years and years.
...
Lance had heard humans talk about the tenacity of Jewish mothers. He didn’t know any, but he’d be surprised if they could hold a candle to the relentless herding instinct of a quickened mother who was descended on both sides from border collies.”
― Eli Easton, How to Howl at the Moon

“Look, human men are either 'gay' or 'straight'. Well, there are other options, but let's not get into that right now.”
― Eli Easton, How to Walk like a Man

“Roman, it's all fine! Okay? You can top, bottom, or do it sideways, it doesn't matter."
"You can do it sideways? Is that like spitting sideways?”
― Eli Easton, How to Walk like a Man