Lorelle > Lorelle's Quotes

“...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread."
"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Are you out of your mind?"
It's not polite to lie to your best friend. "It's a possibility.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken.
Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“Make it quick," I said when I picked up.
"Okay. Two men from the FBI are here." Cookie said. Quickly.
Crap. "Men in black are at the office?"
"Well, yes, but they're actually in more of a navy."
Crapola. I so don't have time for men. In any color. "Okay, two questions. Do they look mad, and are they hot?"
After a long, long, pause, Cookie said, "One, not really. Two, no comment at this time. And three, you're on speakerphone."
After another long, long pause, I said, "Okie dokie then. Be there in a jiff.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him.
“Throw that in my face.”
“Technically, you don’t have a face either.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I crossed my arms on my stomach. A psychologist would have said I was closed off, uncommunicative. Fuck them.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Circus of the Damned

“Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

“I told her why we are here. I told you wouldn't hurt Jack."
"The coffin?"
I smiled. I couldn't help it. He was a 'jack in a box.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Guilty Pleasures

“I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I gave him a smile. I was aiming for sweet, but he turned a shade paler and scooted a bit farther from me. Note to self: work more on sweet and less on psycho-killer.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.”
I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays

“I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation."
"How do you figure?"
"They are still breathing, aren't they?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“We were screwed and he didn't even kiss us first.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I’m not it.”
“A can-I girl?” Andrea frowned.
I leaned back. “ ‘ Can I fetch you your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick out your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I...”
It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head.
“He’s standing behind me, isn’t he?”
Andrea nodded slowly.
“Technically it should be ‘may I,’” Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. “Since you’re asking permission.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I'm welding the bimbo room shut.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"
I stared at him, shocked.
The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after."
Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bloody Bones

“Do you really have the ability to control all types of undead?" Magnus asked.
"Can you really make a hundred shoes in a single night?" I asked.
Magnus smiled. "Wrong kind of fairie.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bloody Bones

“One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“People treat you as badly as you let them treat you. Key word there: let.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“I’m asking the questions tonight.” One day I was going to write a book: How to Dictate to a Dictator
and Evade an Evader, subtitled How to Handle Jericho Barrons.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?”
I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.”
“Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?”
“No.”
“I can pay. I have money.”
“How much we talking?”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right