Third Grave Dead Ahead Quotes

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Time to make today my bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Mistakes were made.
Others were blamed.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said.
"Okay."
"One, are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"Two, are you mentally stable?"
"More than you'll ever be."
Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Have you slept yet?'
'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.'
'Didn't you drive there?'
'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'
- Charley & Cookie”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I...”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”
“Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?”
“Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?”
“Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.”
“So, you’re saying I’m a racist?”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“But give up my business? The same business I'd built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I'd sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood. Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead