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Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,
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Phyllis Meredith
I think they are both equally at fault for the ups and down's of their relationship. Neither is able to fully communicate their needs to the other, neither is able to communicate their weaknesses and both of them are rather selfish. To start, they are very young. Sadie doesn't want to tell Sam that she really doesn't have any friends. She likes that he thinks she is better than she actually is. While it looks like Sadie is lying about being his friend in order to do her community service, it is quite the opposite, she is lying about doing community service, but truly is his friend. They were too young to really express that at the time, but Sadie has plenty of time to explain that to Sam later on. Sam is totally guarded about his trauma and chronic pain and honestly has no idea why he has such ingrained trust and intimacy issues well into college. But he has plenty of time to work that out and communicate that to Sadie. Sadie never even asks Sam if he saw Dov's inscription on the game, she jumps to a conclusion that has lasting issues and when Marx takes responsibility for that, she brushes it off. And really, no one, not even the reader, knew what the real basis for her deep depression was until almost the end of the book. They are both at fault, but they have both grown so much by the end of the book, and really they are still young, only 35 or something, they have plenty of time to work out a healthy and open relationship going forward.
Catherine Tyrrell
Along the same lines as your question, did anyone think Sam may have been on the spectrum? I felt he was and this gave me a better perspective for how he treated not just Sadie, but everyone. I think it may have given me slightly more empathy for Sam vs Sadie.
Judith
Good question, & it's complicated, but I don't think Sam ever betrayed Sadie. Even after their early rift over her hospital "community service hours," he made the move to reconnect & literally pulled her back to life after her first Dov breakup. Emotionally, he always gave her everything he was capable of, while she ran hot & cold toward him over petty resentments, & eventually chose Marx to the exclusion of any relationship with Sam. I don't think there's any way of those "things evening out."
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