Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

Men who are needy and lack vulnerability will keep their boundaries loose and open, inviting manipulation into their lives and allowing people to walk over them. This is because they are more than willing to alter themselves in order to receive validation from the women they meet.

Start having opinions on what you like and don’t like, what you’ll tolerate and won’t tolerate. Be honest with yourself, painfully honest. And then be painfully honest with her.

That my most important values are honesty, empathy, and intellectual curiosity. That I’m unwilling to tolerate women who don’t make me happy, no matter how hot they are.

My boundary is established: I value curiosity, education, intelligence and authenticity. I also don’t value “fake” looks such as pounds of make-up, bronzer, hair extensions or super tight skirts. OK, maybe I do value the tight skirts.

But the irony? Because that boundary is established, I’m not invested in these women much at all, and as a result, I get more attention from them than ever before.

Take your co-workers out for beers. Buy season tickets to the local basketball team. There are much healthier ways to get male camaraderie than to try and impress other guys by getting girls.

became less invested and less affected by the actions of the women around me, which in turn made me more attractive around them. As if by magic, I began to attract far more beautiful and interesting women with less effort.

three core areas: building a congruent and attractive lifestyle for yourself, overcoming your fears and anxieties, and becoming socially adept at expressing your emotions and sexuality without shame or hesitation.

There are two main reasons that prevent attracted women from being with you, and they are both quite common: I call them friction and projection.

Friction is when a woman finds you to be an attractive man, but there are value differences or external circumstances that prevent her from acting on that attraction or being interested in you.

Friction can be religious, cultural or simply due to poor logistics. For

You’re never going to like 100% of any woman and no woman is ever going to like 100% of you. There will be slight differences in values or priorities that will irk you just a little bit, or maybe a lot. There will also be unavoidable situations and events that will cause obstacles to you two being together.

YOUR values determine your behavior, not what you think she wants, not what you think others want, but what is best for you and best for the relationship.

Projection is completely different. There are a lot of women who, for whatever reason, are afraid of their own sexuality and/or openly sexual men.

When confronted with a non-needy man — a man without these similar emotional hang-ups and distrust — these women will usually be untrusting and lash out in response. They are not lashing out for lack of attraction, but they are lashing out because they are attracted and that strong sexual attraction scares them, particularly if you’re a man who feels threatening to them. Their view of male sexuality is negative and when they are confronted with an honest and attractive man they’ll

often attack you and try to tear you down for it.

These are the women who will get angry and say snide things like, “I bet you say that to all the girls,” or will find reasons to push you away and then regret it and want you back. They will pretend to miss your calls and then get angry when you don’t persist in calling them, or they’ll make up excuses ...

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The needy man enjoys it because this constant “fixing” of the distrusting woman’s fears and accusations makes the needy man feel needed.

Our job is not to attract every woman, but to screen for women with a high potential of being attracted to who we really are.

The world is what it is, it’s our job to simply present ourselves as boldly and clearly to it as possible, accept the reactions and move on the opportunities.

male attractiveness is based on how non-needy one is and how comfortable one is in expressing one’s desire and vulnerability.

limitations of attraction and how most of the women in the world at any given time are not going to be compatible with you no matter what you say or do.

Rejection exists for a reason — it’s a means to keep people apart who are not good for each other.

why would you want to be intimate with someone who doesn't appreciate you? Why would you ever settle for such a person? Because she's hot? Come on, have a little more self-respect. Have some higher standards.

The first step to being more attractive is to see rejection as a means to eliminate women who won't make you happy from your life. It's a blessing, not a curse.

If you don’t find a woman attractive, don’t hit on her, don’t ask her out, don’t do anything.

That said, decide whatever you like in a woman by your own standards. If you like big girls or curvy girls, go for it. If

if you don’t find her attractive, don’t pursue her.

Unreceptive.

You’re far needier than she is, and she’s therefore not attracted to you. - She has a boyfriend/husband and is happy in her relationship. - There’s too much friction preventing her from being willing to date you, such as a difference in values, difference in interests, bad logistics, etc. - She’s not interested or looking for any man at the moment.

If you invite her out for coffee and she keeps making excuses to why she can’t, then she’s Unreceptive. If you call her three times and she never calls back, then she is Unreceptive. If you chat her up and she explains that she is busy and wants to be alone, then she is Unreceptive. If you hang out with her and she talks about how frustrated she is with her boyfriend and how you’re such a good listener, then she’s Unreceptive.

“I think you’re cute/pretty/attractive/funny/whatever, want to grab coffee/dinner/a drink sometime?”

Typically, a man knows within

a few seconds if he’s willing to meet and even sleep with a woman or not. Women aren’t like that. They spend a lot of time being unsure about a man and need to be swayed one way or the other.

They eventually polarize one way or the other. And if you never make an advance or show interest in them, then they will usually polarize towards being Unreceptive

The goal with Neutral women is to polarize them through your words and behaviors. This may mean flirting with them or teasing them. It may mean asking her on a date.

Which side she polarizes to is far less important than actually taking action. And remember, if you leave her to her neutrality, she will usually become Unreceptive and not see you as dating material.

Receptive are women who are sexually/romantically attracted to you. You can recognize women who are Receptive in two ways: 1) they initiate with you, and/or 2) they reciprocate your actions enthusiastically.

She makes strong eye contact with you and doesn’t break it. - She approaches you. - She touches you unprovoked. - She asks for your number or invites you out with her/her friends. - She asks you a lot of questions about yourself and seems genuinely interested in you. - She introduces you to her friends. - She gives you her number. - She comes up with some excuse/story/reason for you to hang out with her or spend time with her.

In fact, most women, especially very beautiful women, even if they’re attracted to you, won’t initiate with you. Remember, women tend to be less invested before sex, therefore, they (usually) expect men to initiate in the beginning. There are also strong cultural pressures on women to wait for the man to initiate.

The other way women demonstrate that they’re Receptive is when they reciprocate. It’s important to recognize the subtle difference between a woman reciprocating your advances and a woman being neutral toward your advances. A woman who is Neutral will simply not respond at all. For instance, if you touch a Neutral woman on her back while you speak to her, she’ll just act like you’re not touching her.

She ignores her friends to stay and talk to you. - She keeps very strong eye contact and laughs a little too much at everything you say. - When you touch her, she touches you in return. - When you put your arm around her, she leans into you. - When you take her hand to move somewhere, she holds it in return. - When you ask her out on a date, she offers a place to go or mentions something she’d like to do with you.

But the minute they’re Unreceptive towards me, my interests have moved on.

The two most common time sinks with Unreceptive Women are the Friend Zone and women in relationships.

The Friend Zone occurs when a woman has categorized you as a friend and not a potential lover. For women, these categories are almost always mutually exclusive. A man is either a friend, or a potential sexual partner, but rarely both. There

a man who does not act on his sexual desires is a man who is needy, lacks vulnerability and is therefore unattractive.

The Friend Zone typically occurs when a man meets a Receptive or Neutral woman but never makes a move or expresses his interest.

But because he’s withholding his sexual interest, he’s placing himself in her mind firmly in the “friend” camp.