Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

The Friend Zone is the biggest possible time sink because most men who are stuck in it entertain fantasies that they’re simply waiting for the inevitable to occur.

It’s an incredibly arrogant and manipulative mindset to adopt. It’s no wonder women see it as so unattractive.

Typically, if men have been friends with a woman for even a month or two without ever explicitly indicating their sexual interest in her, it’s likely too late.

You must indicate some sort of sexual interest early on. Otherwise, the longer you wait, the harder it gets and the more likely she will become Unreceptive to you. Again, ask yourself what waiting four years to state

your interest in a girl sub-communi...

Waiting around for a woman in a relationship is simply not worth it. Period.

What a lot of men don’t understand though is that oftentimes, married or taken women will still flirt with other men for no other reason than they think it’s fun and they like the attention. To some women, flirting is like a hobby and they see it as harmless fun. If a woman is married or has a boyfriend and seems pretty happy in general and is flirting with me, then I don’t take the flirting too seriously.

And that’s really the crux of the matter: women who have boyfriends/husbands who are willing to cheat on them, don’t bring up their boyfriends/husbands... almost ever. Typically, you’ll hear about them either immediately before or immediately after you hook up with them. If they tell you about them right when you meet them, then they’re not interested. If they tell you about their boyfriend while they’re making out with you in the cab back to your apartment, then she’s probably interested.

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When you express your truth, if you express more investment than them, then they will be not be attracted to you and will therefore be Unreceptive.

If you express your truth and demonstrate not only that you’re non-needy but also frictionless for her (similar interests, values, life situation, etc.), then she will become very Receptive. And when I say very Receptive, I mean very.

This is counterproductive because by altering your behavior to fit whatever she wants, it means you are not being vulnerable and, therefore, you are being needy and unattractive.

plain jokes and safe topics of conversation that end up not polarizing at all for fear of being rejected. This is also a form of hiding one’s truth, not showing vulnerability, being over-invested and therefore not attractive. This is the plight of the highly needy “Nice Guy.”

And when women are Neutral for too long without being polarized, then they will make themselves Unreceptive.

The problem with the narcissistic man is that the few women who become Receptive to him are not the type of women who are pleasant to be around (as they’re highly needy themselves).

Neutral women are where so-called “game” comes into play. Having good game means you can take a woman who is Neutral and incite her to become Receptive to you quickly. You do this by making yourself vulnerable, sharing yourself unabashedly, and polarizing her one way or the other and being comfortable with either result.

At the bar, the first question out of my mouth is one of my favorites for Neutral situations: "What's your favorite thing in the world?"

This question will tell me two things: how passionate and self-aware she is about her own life, and secondly if we have anything in common. Women who are not passionate or self-aware I drop very quickly and go meet someone else. Women who share interests with me give me an opportunity to polarize them quickly to being Receptive.

We're both better off not being together. And by me eliciting her religiosity early on, we find that out sooner rather than later. In this particular example at the nightclub, the woman answered traveling and experiencing new cultures. Bingo. I love to travel. I've been to over 40 countries. I tell her this. Sure enough, within 30 minutes, we were sitting alone together, enrapt in a conversation about grammar and the Russian language.

My success was about expressing my identity, forcing her to make a decision about me and letting the chips fall where they may.

When you meet a Receptive woman, the goal is simple. You escalate. You make a move. You move things forward — assuming you want to, of course.

Receptive women who were originally Neutral, if you do not make a move and become physical with them quickly enough, they will often drift back to Neutral and then to Unreceptive permanently.

The percentage of women who are Receptive to you will increase proportionally to the quality of your lifestyle, your social status, and your looks. The percentage of women that you’re able to move from Neutral to Receptive will be proportional to how good your “game” is, or how well you’re able to communicate and express yourself with women. And your ability to sort through each type of women and meet as many as possible will be determined by how fearless and bold you are when it comes to meeting women.

Polarizing women into rejecting us — and when I say us, I mean the real us, the vulnerable and unabashed us — does us a favor by sorting out which women are going to make us happy.

You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize. It’s the name of the game. And getting good at the game is learning to open yourself up enough emotionally, learning to express your honest self enough and be comfortable enough with your vulnerability to take

those embarrassing moments along with the moments of passion. A willingness to polarize is not easy. But it’s necessary.

The idea is that the more forthright you are about who you are, how you feel, and what you think, the more this is going to weed out Unreceptive Women from the Receptive women, as well as push Neutral women to get off the fence and decide how they feel about you.

The men who employ this strategy employ it because they’re trying to avoid confrontation and controversy.

The fact is that sexuality, attraction, and relationships are, by their very nature, confrontational and controversial. You have to either make the decision to accept being controversial and confrontational or you need to accept that you will go through life with everyone being Neutral towards you.

Polarization is what occurs when you express your truth and make yourself vulnerable. When you tell a woman she is beautiful, you are polarizing her. When you tease her about her earrings and put your arm around her, you’re polarizing her. When you wear a custom-made suit when you go out, you are polarizing women. When you tell a woman who’s late to a date to never be late again, you are polarizing her. When you smile and tell her how beautiful she is, you’re polarizing her. When you take her hand in yours and lead her somewhere, you are polarizing her.

Everything that is attractive is...

These are never wrong moves, assuming that they are honest expressions of yourself and you are...

He’s going to be unable to make himself vulnerable, express his truth, and will therefore not polarize her.

A man who is uninhibited about expressing his emotions and what he wants will demonstrate non-neediness, thereby attracting a woman and immediately forcing her to decide whether she’s Receptive or Unreceptive. And chances are, unless there’s a lot of friction present, she will become Receptive. You’d be surprised how many women will respond with attraction to nothing other than a man who is bold and willing to stick his neck out.

a lot of women will react warmly to these advances, even if they’re not interested and reject

They respect a man who is bold and honest. I’ve had tons occasions where I approached women boldly and honestly, stating directly that they were beautiful and I wanted to meet them, and despite rejecting me, they were so impressed by my boldness and confidence that they promptly introduced me to a friend of theirs who was available.

I’ve often been thanked by the women who I’ve unsuccessfully hit on, not because I did it, but for the way I did it. And even when things go nowhere, women at least respect m...

When I pursue women in a vulnerable way, almost every woman at the very least will respect my advances, even if she’s not interested.

the more polarizing a man is, the more they are flooded with opportunities with women. This is true for every man I know who is incredibly successful with meeting and dating women.

“Your ability to deal with the failure will determine how much you get to deal with success.”

being slapped by a woman is not the end of the world, or even of the interaction. It’s simply an emotional response. And as a highly emotional response, I’ll always take being slapped over indifference or boredom any day. It’s polarizing. And polarizing women is more important than being pleasant to them.

fact, men who fear rejection tend to be oblivious to their own truth because if they were aware of their own desires, needs and values, what would they have to be afraid of? Why would they ever hesitate to expose their vulnerability to others?

Being rejected saves me so much time and effort. If I had to go on a date with every single girl I found even mildly attractive, I’d probably lose my mind.

you realize that 95% of this attracting women stuff has nothing to do with you, is the moment you become free to pursue what you want without hesitation or fear.

When you get out there and start meeting a lot of women, you’ll begin to notice that there’s a lot to be said about “the right person at the wrong time.”

The best you can do is to let it go and remember: it’s not about you.

This is why we pursue women based on our truth. This is why we polarize women as soon as possible. This is why we approach women looking to see if she fits our values and needs and not the other way around.

Instead of thinking, “I wonder if she’ll like me,” think, “I wonder what she’s like?”

Instead of thinking, “I hope she doesn’t reject me,” think, “I hope I'll find out if she’s right for me.”

The beauty is that whether she falls in love with you on the spot or she throws a drink in your face… you’ve succeeded. You’ve found out the truth. Your curiosity is fulfilled and you...