Josh’s Comments (group member since Jun 17, 2010)

Josh’s comments from the Q&A with Josh Lanyon group.

Mymymble wrote: "Josh wrote: "Poor little Marlowe jumped up as he is wont to do and, for the first time ever, he fell over onto his back and hurt his leg. Also scared the heck out of himself and me both. :-(

But ..."

He is to me! The SO was like... He just wants more treats. :-D

Mymymble wrote: "Jordan wrote: "Mymymble, I’m glad you got someone to help!"

And the truck was delivered to our local garage @ 0100 (!!!!) and is now safe home and purring. Despite the cost and weirdo RAC guy, it'..."

'They' have their good points. :-D

Poor little Marlowe jumped up as he is wont to do and, for the first time ever, he fell over onto his back and hurt his leg. Also scared the heck out of himself and me both. :-(

But the good thing--the best thing about today--is he seems to be perfectly fine now! I was sure for a second there he had broken something. But nope. And he got extra treats and cuddles out of it, so all is well.

That’s also what abusers do, it’s incorporated into the pattern, because it’s also part of a healthy relationship, and it’s partly how they desensitize everyone around them, including their target, to the red flags.

Yes, but it is also what EVERY healthy, loving member of a couple does when they feel remorseful. That is not unique to abusers. And it is not, at all, universal with abusers. The idea that all abusers show remorse and affection after the abuse is a bit of a Hollywood trope. It doesn't always work like that.

And even then, people stay with them.

And as for the military and cop mindset, we will have to agree to disagree. ;-)

I too have extensive personal (both friend and familial) experience--and with both healthy and unhealthy psyches--and in my experience, commanders...command. They take it for granted they will be obeyed--even once they enter civilian life.

This isn't to say they can't be disobeyed or argued with or won't see reason or consider someone else's point of view. Of course they do. When Cosmo calls his bluff, John backs down.

Part of the problem for John is that Cosmo swallows many of his natural reactions and disagreements because of the handicap of knowing--or at least fearing--that John's love is not real. Or, later, not yet solidified.

If you're a dominant personality, you will tend to dominate if no one pushes back. Speaking as a dominant personality. :-D

Jordan wrote: "Guess I’ll have to pencil that into my todo list. I’ve been sucked into Doomsday Book, and I can’t get out of it! This is the first time in a long time that I’ve spent most of my day doing nothing ..."

I love that feeling of being lost in a book world. It's such a rare experience now. I think that's one of the downsides of writing. It's so much harder to simply lose yourself in a story without focusing on the mechanics and thinking how YOU would do everything.

Steve wrote: "Hi Everybody! Johanna asked if I wouldn't mind posting this...

Nominations for the Goodreads M/M Romance Members’ Choice Awards Best of 2019 closed December 4. Voting begins December 7 and runs th..."

Thank you, Steve!

And thank you to everyone who nominated and voted!

Congratulations to dear Johanna! <3 <3 <3 Your nominations are well deserved!

Time for a little creative writing exercise. IF YOU'RE UP TO THE CHALLENGE...

https://joshlanyon.blogspot.com/2019/...

Brenda wrote: "I read it when it was first released, but I’ve been kinda stewing about it since then. I figured out who John in the first half of the book reminds me of: The husband (Martin) that Laura ran away f..."

So I hesitated about responding to this because every reader's reaction is valid--and I don't want to squelch discussion. How we respond to any given book is influenced by our own experiences (and education and imagination, of course).

BUT.


Having said that, someone very close to me was trapped in an abusive relationship for several years. It was agonizing to watch. And it bore ZERO resemblance to the relationship between Cosmo and John. ZERO.

If you have ever had the experience of being bumped right up against an abusive relationship, you know that it's a very different thing. It's far more subtle and insidious. John is neither subtle nor insidious.

In fact, John displays literally zero of the typical controlling behaviors abusers exhibit. He does not try to isolate Cos, does not demean, degrade or try to isolate him in any way. He is bemused by but accepts Cosmo's weird behaviors--and yes, they ARE weird behaviors--even if he doesn't put credence in them (but, let's be serious, who WOULD?). Back when I was an evil corporate overlord...overlady...had the SO gone around business functions telling my colleagues how to run our company and everything we were doing wrong? Oh hell yeah, there would have been words. Especially because it would have been instantly obvious to everyone that I had been confiding company business to him.

Nor does John ever try to physically harm Cosmo. Quite the opposite. At the height of his rage, his instinct is to protect Cosmo--he grabs him when he nearly falls down a staircase--and he jumps into the Seine after him.

Yes, he's following him, spying on him...but come on. In real life, wouldn't YOU? With everything that has happened between them?!

John is described as extra loving and attentive after an argument. I mean, that's how its' done in real life. You fight and if you feel like maybe you're in the wrong, you try to make it up. You don't always say the words. Especially, if you're a guy. But also sometimes when you're a gal. Sometimes it's show not tell. In fact, a lot of sex is show not tell.


As for physical abuse, John grabs Cosmo's arm when Cosmo was trying to put a spell on him. :-D That's it. I think most of us would have probably reacted much more strongly. Speaking for myself? I'd have grabbed the nearest lamp.

In fact, John only tries to control two aspects of his interaction with Cos--and they both directly affect him. Both in his understanding of how the world works and as far as the life he wishes for himself.

It's fair--it is legit--that John perhaps doesn't want to spend his life with a magical being. In the same way that most of us would perhaps have to think about the challenges and responsibilities of welding our future to a Syrian refugee or to someone with an incurable illness.

We all want to think that we would be that person ruled by love with no thought of, let alone regard to the cost, but honestly--and I know this is an unromantic perspective--such a person would be an emotional adolescent. You're pinning your heart, your dreams and aspirations--your very future--on someone who be taken from you at any moment. That's a risky proposition for anyone. Let alone a control freak.

Anyway, regardless of how much you love that person, it's probably not going to be the life you envisioned for yourself. It may seriously disrupt plans you have built over years. To jump into such a thing without reservations is to be a bloody idiot.

IMHO.

John is a rigid, controlled personality, absolutely--as we would expect from someone who has been in the military for most of his adult life. Not just the military. A SEAL Team leader. So does he take it for granted people will obey him? Yes. Because in almost every aspect of his life people DO obey him. To the letter.

Which is why Cos is so good for him. :-D

I could go on and on about John, but I won't.

As for Cosmo, he has been conditioned since childhood to hide who he is and what he is. To fall in love with John is a serious enough transgression without betraying all of witchdom in the process. Of course he lies, of course he conceals, of course he struggles with the bounds and expectations of marriage.

I think Cos's struggle to balance his responsibility to witchdom and his marriage to John is difficult and complicated. I think he is sincere in his efforts to negotiate a path that does harm to neither side.

And I don't at all mind other people having a difference of opinion. ;-)

Antonella wrote: "Thanks to someone on A Shot of Ginn I've just watched/listened to an interview with Ginn hale about new, old and future books. And much more... (video, 45 minutes, but it is so interesting that you..."

Oh! I must watch this.

Antonella wrote: "Josh wrote: "The best thing about today?

An early morning walk in the cold sunshine with my sister--followed by Irish coffee and book talk. :-)"

Lovely!

I was wondering how early is early thoug..."

Okay, fair enough. 8:30 ;-D

The best thing about today?

An early morning walk in the cold sunshine with my sister--followed by Irish coffee and book talk. :-)

Mymymble wrote: "Josh wrote: "Mymymble wrote: "A muscleman and a wiry dude who ran out of nowhere to push our broken down truck off a busy spiral roundabout on the main south coast highway.
It's the second time thi..."

Jeeeeeezus.

Mymymble wrote: "A muscleman and a wiry dude who ran out of nowhere to push our broken down truck off a busy spiral roundabout on the main south coast highway.
It's the second time this has happened to me on that r..."

WHAT???

But other than losing your truck, that's a great story. :-D

Goge wrote: "Oh my dear god! This series is getting better! I loved it, I couldn't put it down to save my life. Now I can't wait for the audio and all that sexy French. Cosmo is delightful character. John pisse..."

Awww. <3 <3 <3

Brenda wrote: "I read it when it was first released, but I’ve been kinda stewing about it since then. I figured out who John in the first half of the book reminds me of: The husband (Martin) that Laura ran away f..."

Oh my! Wellllll, that's certainly an interesting take. :-)

Brenda wrote: "Philipp wrote: "But being proud of having someone in your lineage, who tortured and murder people, that is on a whole other level."

Yes! She seemed way over the top to me too. Yikes. And if Jinx i..."

Witch hunting lineage would not be the same as being a Witch Hunter. I'm pretty sure Nora would not hold any truck with any kind of supernatural anything. She wouldn't believe in it, for one thing!

Philipp wrote: "So, I have just read the chapter where Cos and John have dinner with Nora, and I have to vent a little.

I didn't like Nora during the first book, but when your son marries someone after knowing th..."

So true. But I think Nora is probably not terribly imaginative, so those long ago people would likely not seem very real to her. Or she would just comfort herself by believing they were not good or deserving people.

Mymymble wrote: "Jordan wrote: "I've just gotten my library copy of The Public, the movie about the homeless population wanting to stay at the public library. We'll see how it is. I was surprised to know someone ha..."

Wow!

Mymymble wrote: "I watched Martin Scorsese's 'The Irishman'.
I really liked it once the kid and I got over our hilarity caused by Robert De Niro's anti-aging cgi, which basically made him look, sound and act like a..."

I think unions are vital to the welfare of workers--very few business types are smart enough to understand the value of taking great care of great workers--but it's the same old problem with any organization. Power breeds corruption.

I'm toying with moving the blog to word press (although I hate word press for blogs) because Blogger has grown so glitchy.