Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Jack,

I'm laughing and laughing and laughing.

Are you accepting critiques? I did not see a note either way.

A robot walks into a bar indeed! Ping!

Paula,

Thank you for the ending critique, I really appreciate it!!

If somehow my settings show me as not accepting messages please tell me. It would simply be ignorance on my part on how to set it properly!

Story is up. Please feel free to critique. Constructive criticism welcome!

(Critiques welcome)


Requiesce in Pace

“The hand of the LORD was on me, and he brought me out and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign LORD, you alone know.”

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’”…

10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.”
Ezekiel 37:1-5, 10


General Benedict Custer leapt out of the Blackhawk helicopter and into a swirling dust storm. Ducking low, he held his black beret firmly to his skull with one hand while shielding his eyes with the other. He could not hear the saluting Colonel’s words over the whup, whup, whup of the blades but it was clear he wanted the General to follow him. The helicopter lifted off, banked steeply and quickly receded into the deepening twilight of the Nevada desert.

“This had better be good Almstead,” he growled. “I left my wife sitting at the O Club celebrating our thirtieth anniversary – by herself.”

“Yes sir, I’m sorry about that General. But you absolutely need to see this,” assured the Colonel.

Custer could see generator driven lights and a lot of civilians in white hazmat suits moving around something just out of sight.

“We have an accident today I wasn’t aware of?”

“Not in the usual sense sir.”

Custer stopped in his tracks. “Vince, bring me up to speed right now before I have the Pentagon breathing down my neck and a news crew crawling up my ass.”

Colonel Almstead was clearly agitated or excited, Custer couldn’t tell which, but right now he wanted answers.

“It’s easier just to show you Ben. It’s absolutely incredible.” Almstead dropped the military formalities.

“Two F-35’s test dropped a new type of ground penetrating bomb. You know, to use against deeply buried targets.”

“Yes Vince, I’m familiar with the type.”

“Well they successfully penetrated deeper than any of our other ordnance and they uncovered something.” The Colonel turned and started walking again towards the lights.

“What did they uncover? Not another Native American burial site I hope?!” That was all Custer needed; another run in with the local tribal elders. Catching up to Almstead, Custer could see a gaping hole in the ground and a cave of some kind that fell gently away from the surface lights. Almstead was already making his way down, flashlight dancing madly on the ground in front of him.

“Do we need to suit up?” Custer called out.

“No! The civvies just said not to touch anything.”

Making his way down, Custer was unprepared for what he saw.

“Good Lord! Are they?”

“Yes General. They are. Thousands of them. Maybe hundreds of thousands.”

“But…what…is this place? Some kind of alien ossuary?”

Lining both sides of the cave were large alcoves, each one holding the skeleton of what clearly had to be an extraterrestrial. Their arms were folded neatly across their chests in graceful repose, yet to Custer the ferocity of the fanged skulls belied any peaceful intentions.

“Amazing isn’t it sir?”

“Hmm?”

“All this time we’ve been looking up at the stars and wondering if anyone else was out there, and they’ve been here the whole time under our feet.”

“Well don’t get too kumbaya on me Vince. They don’t exactly look all warm and fuzzy. Look at those teeth and talons. You can’t tell me those are for eating salads and basket weaving.”

“General you can’t seriously think that-”

“It’s my job to seriously think Colonel, about any threat to this country.”

Custer absently poked a rib bone to emphasize his point. Microscopic barbs along the bone’s surface retained some of Custer’s skin cells, absorbing the DNA and devouring the rest for energy.

New tissue began spreading quickly across the skeleton.

(746 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2016

She did indicate critiques were welcome at the top of her story.

I liked it Carrie!

I concur with CLP.

Critique size under 500 words? YES
Permit specific critiques be removed? NO
Allow writers to request no critiques for their story? YES

A simple (Yes critique, or No critique) at the top of a story should suffice.

I do agree with Jot for reviewing the current month's stories and not just picking one story.

I plan on adding to the critiques thread. I've just been out of town for a few days and am trying to get caught up here!

I love the challenge topic for this month!

Already on it Jack!

Oh wow, very cool Carrie. I'll have to dig back through and read them!

Congratulations Jack! You've got a streak going! I'll spare you from a second set of my novellas. LOL!

I hope there is a part two Carrie! I want to know what happens!

Thanks for the clarification Jot! That's exactly what I wanted to know and understand.

Now when I critique current stories in the critique thread, I can be confident I'm following the rules.

Much appreciated!

For me personally, I'm not going to go back and revise a post after I get feedback. I might revise my personal, offline copy, but once I post, it's done (prior title waffling notwithstanding...)

Thanks again!

And to everyone who submitted for July, I found many aspects of each story that I truly enjoyed. I hope to provide more in depth reviews when I get back from being out of town next week.

It's a privilege to be in such great company!

Jot,

Does the critique thread include stories submitted for the current month, or only prior month's submissions?

Would you please clarify either way?

Thanks!

Just as long as it's clear what can be critiqued and when. I'm already a bit gun-shy about making even casual comments about submitted stories.

Jeremy,

Is that Lou ---cifer?

Greg,

I am laughing!!!!

Nope!

No spoilers!!!!

I think Jot is going to include a yay or nay vote reminder for a dedicated critique thread during this next round of voting.

Anyone else going to see Star Trek this weekend? I've got my ticket on my phone to see it in IMAX 3-D. I'm pretty excited although it's tempered by Anton Yelchin's passing.

Veni, vidi, vici...