Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Hi Paula and Richard,

I'm wrestling with your request only because I was trying to give something a little extra to this month's winner.

However, if anyone in this group is interested in reading my whopping two self-published novellas, I'm happy to gift it to them via Amazon for those stateside or a PDF for the rest of the world. I'll just need an email address.

I would just ask anyone who reads them to publish a review on Goodreads and/or Amazon or other social media. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

Kalifer wrote: "What a struggle to get mine to 750 word limit. I think you all will enjoy "Montezuma Remix" I certainly enjoyed writing it. It plays into one of my pet fantasies of going back in history and foilin..."

A great read Kalifer! I got a good laugh (perhaps inappropriately so) when the poor solider was blown to tiny bits. I also had a hard time scaling my story back. I wanted to add so many details about Churchill, etc. I think I was over 1,000 words and I had to keep chopping and chopping and chopping...but, it does make you keep it sharp and lean. Good work!

Gary wrote: "Justin, thank you for the comment.
I have been noticing all the wield science that keeps getting reported over the years. It is almost as if the designers of our matrix/hologram world are getting b..."

Nothing wrong with playing with Legos. I still enjoy them with my kids, although I hate stepping on them in the dark!

I like the hard science of your sci-fi, even if I don't understand it all. It stands in contrast to some writers who play fast and loose with the laws of physics - usually out of necessity.

Karl - Mexican Standoff was hilarious, and a nice counter to all the anti-immigrant stuff in the news these days.

Jot - Temporal Library was also very funny and reaffirms the interest in the train wreck known as Donald Trump. It also reminded me of your "dream pillow" story. Your sales people are skilled at separating people from their money!

Jon - Jesus Wept - I loved how you meshed religion and sci-fi. A fascinating premise.

Dorthe - An interesting change to Roman history! Yet some things remain the same even in the alternate timeline. I almost thought it was taking place in the future until I got further in the story.

Gary - The science in your science fiction is above my reptilian brain! I liked it!

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's stories this month. A great variety of historical periods, people and places.

Richard wrote: "I got rid of the story that had the least of the required elements- and it did distort time (sci-fi) rather than reorganise it (alternative history)
AND- we are only allowed one story.
There are h..."

Hi Richard and all,

I'm happy to provide copies of my two sci-fi novellas as prizes to any winners that may want them in the months ahead. I certainly won't force anyone to take them!

Heather wrote: "@ Justin,
I thought it was interesting that had Churchill been killed in WWI, as in your story, BUT Welchman, from Bletchley Park Hut 6, in WWII somehow still was doing his WWII work ... but had a ..."

Hi Heather! I've just come to the part in this massive Churchill biopic I'm reading where he came down with acute appendicitis just prior to the 1922 election. Due to his illness he was unable to campaign and thus found himself out of office the first time in 22 years. Imagine if he had died then! As Churchill himself wrote in "The World Crisis," " The terrible ifs accumulate."

Jeremy,

A great story, and thank you for the historical background for clarity! Interesting how much rain and mud have impacted history.

Andy!

A funny story indeed and great answer to the British electric weapons. Perhaps I should have made it alternate Revolutionary War/American War of Independence (depending on which side of the pond you reside) history only!

A nice addition. I hope some other stories will come in as well by the deadline.

I love it! A smashing good yarn old boy! Teach those colonists a lesson they'll never forget!! :)

Jeremy,

That sounds similar to how "Ghost Fleet" is currently influencing senior military leaders at the Pentagon.

Heather wrote: "@ Justin,
I thought it was interesting that had Churchill been killed in WWI, as in your story, BUT Welchman, from Bletchley Park Hut 6, in WWII somehow still was doing his WWII work ... but had a ..."

There were so many points in Churchill's life where he could have been killed. He fell out of a tree as a teenager and was bedridden for a month. He could have been shot at the Battle of Omdurman, or killed during his escape prison during The Boer War, and on and on.

If he had died prior to WWI, then someone else would have been First Lord of the Admiralty. Then perhaps the British Fleet would not have been at their war stations prior to hostilities breaking out - as they were at Churchill's express direction - thereby enabling the German High Seas Fleet to sortie and attack the home islands. (Churchill actually war gamed this possibility in 1912, demonstrating the importance of having the Royal Navy at its war stations before any conflict broke out.)

So many historical possibilities!

Hi Heather,

I enjoy military history of any era. I just happen to know more about certain periods than others. The Cold War is of course part of all that, and I did know about the work done at Bletchley Park but not the specific scientists involved.

I don't know a lot about the cloak and dagger events during the Cold War, only that they happened. We spied on them, they spied on us, there were unwritten rules that both sides followed and quasi-respected. Now it's all just terrorism. Oh the simple days of Mutual Assured Destruction. :)

Carol wrote: "Wow! Justin, your clever tale hit all the marks this month. I look forward to reading more of your writing, and will even spend real money to buy your published work. Congratulations!"

Thanks for reading and rating my books. I sincerely appreciate it!!

Hello C.L.P.!

I enjoyed your story very much! I envisioned someone much like "The Architect" in the Matrix Reloaded as the avatar the main character was interacting with, but nicer.

Would you mind at some point elaborating on what history changed within your story? I understand if you don't want to put it out there immediately so that others can enjoy it as well.

Great job!

Layers upon layers upon layers Heather. Hence why I call my writing two-dimensional compared to your three.

I think you got it sorted right. :)

I should have also said that the rest of your story, the descriptive part - what the characters were like, surroundings, environment, etc, was also very good.

If I can put it another way, I often feel my writing is flat, or two dimensional. I get a full feeling of three dimensions when I read this story. I'm grasping at analogies here to describe a quality I detect when I read your stories and Paula's stories (which is not to say all the other stories are lacking, I'm just discussing yours at this point!)

Yes, I believe you had mentioned Alan Turing in one of your earlier posts, so I knew it was him.

His thinking Christie's husband was beautiful was a good touch, subtle, and a nod to who he was without having to spell it out to the reader.

As for the patterns, etc., that goes to a whole different plane of writing I think you and Paula both regularly work from. Whereas I feel my strength is depth of description, yours is depth of idea.

Nicely done Heather! Great story! Very mysterious. It made me want to know more details both about Alan's past and new future. Was Christie a fictitious character or representative of someone else?

Heather! Don't feel guilty!

Your feedback and explanation was very good, and you convinced me to go with my first title choice. I like that Lost is more expansive than Last, and covers loss on several levels.

One of the reasons I joined the group was to get more sci-fi writing in about things different than the plot line of my published novellas, and to get constructive criticism and advice.

You gave me great advice! If I honestly did not agree with you, then I would not have changed it. I'm pretty stubborn, as my spouse will attest.

I have a great relationship with my editor. She's a former co-worker and wields a wicked pen when she edits my work. But she makes my writing so much better and really brings it up to scratch and makes it something I'm proud to put up on Amazon. She slashes words, rewrites sentences, calls me out on weak or repetitive plot points, etc. It's really a great collaboration. She's worth every dime spent, even if I never recoup it in sales.

So you made a great edit!

When Churchill began his series called "The World Crisis" about his tenure as First Lord of the Admiralty, his conduct there, and especially about the Gallipoli campaign, he originally wanted to call it "The Great Amphibian." So if the Bulldog can handle a title change to his work, so can I.

"If you find yourself going through hell, keep going." WSC