Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

SDI is so 1980's. :)

Heather wrote: "I love the fascinating contributions you make to this forum, Justin ... and the generosity with which you share.

What I love about the idea of this competition you've shard here is that it adds a ..."

You might look at this article as well: http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi...

This would be for the Air Force, but the Army has use for lasers for counter battery fire against artillery shells, mortars and rockets.

Heather wrote: "I love the fascinating contributions you make to this forum, Justin ... and the generosity with which you share.

What I love about the idea of this competition you've shard here is that it adds a ..."

Hi Heather, thanks for the compliments! The deadline is February 17, 2017. Ghost Fleet is not a movie, but I think would make a good one. Start there for some ideas about what the military is already looking at or thinking about. You could try to research this to death but this is where creativity will also play a big role.

Some of the submissions I'm sure will come from military or former military people and have a very Tom Clancey-esque feel to them. But the whole purpose of the contest is to get outside that box and see what non-military writers might come up with.

Yes, the Army, or the shady military-industrial complex, DARPA, Men-in-Black, Little Green Men, etc. :)

When you look at the example of the article written in the 1950's, a lot of it are things that would never work in reality - like the flying tanks. However, some of the equipment is very similar to our current drone systems and remote sensing equipment.

Considering we are mounting lasers on ships and developing railguns that fire hyper-velocity GPS guided munitions, getting sci-fi writers to stretch the envelop is certainly one way to get new ideas from a pool of people outside the usual think tanks.

Origins

I was conducting my annual anthropological survey of the third planet when we experienced some strong magnetic fluctuations that scrammed the drive reactor. My crew of diminutive Sevrawds fought valiantly to keep our stricken ship aloft. But honestly, I’ve never really understand their high-pitched, squeaky voices, so I may have misunderstood their instructions.

They ran to and fro in their matching green uniforms and pointy red caps trying to restart the reactor but in vain. Fortunately we managed to soft land the ship in a large drift of frozen, powdered precipitation.

Well, we were in a pickle - no doubt about it. My chief engineer handed me a list of raw elements we needed to affect repairs. The last navigational scans showed a small collection of primitive buildings not too far away. External video revealed a herd of animals grazing close by. Then, I had an idea!

Fashioning a crude lifting body out of damaged hull plating, I strapped on some repulsors and it hovered nicely above the ground. That’s where the animals came in. I captured eight of the beasts and harnessed them to the lifting body. Neural pacifiers calmed them down. Finally, I added repulsor belts around each animal. I ducked back inside to grab a black hole bag, galactic translator and personal holocloak.

“Be back before daybreak!” the chief engineer squeaked.

I climbed aboard my crude lifting body and engaged the repulsors. I thought, “Onward!” and each of the beasts obligingly began running with ever increasing speed. Adding more power, we finally became airborne and we were on our way. My small hand-held navigation computer jingled merrily.

Quickly reviewing the required materials, I saw my task would not be easy. I needed to visit each primitive domicile in the town before dawn to complete my list. I checked it twice just to be sure. Our teleport technology only works on line-of-sight with no obstructions. Fortunately each domicile had a vertical combustion exhaust stack. I would just park on the roof and teleport to the bottom.

Stopping at the first exhaust stack I peered over the edge. Bingo! A clear line-of-sight. I teleported to the bottom. What I neglected to consider was how the exhaust soot would negate my cloak. Luckily no one was around so I scanned for my needed items.

Then I heard tiny footfalls and a primitive female juvenile emerged from the opposite side of the room. I had to do something quickly. My holocloak shrouded me in the form of a harmless-looking elderly version of this primitive species.

"Who are you?" she asked in a soft voice.

My galactic translator lagged slightly and only managed a stuttering, "Ho...ho...ho..."

She laughed. "You're funny! Who are you?"

My galactic translator did not have enough syntax to go on, so a slurred, "Sinterclaus," was my desperate reply.

"What do you want Mister Sinterclaus?"

I pointed to a brass figure on the shelf over the combustion pit. Climbing up on a chair, she gently grasped the figure with tiny figures and handed it to me.

"It's okay, it's mine to give."

I patted her gently on the head. Then with a wink and another quick "Ho, ho, ho," I teleported up the exhaust stack to my tethered craft. Whew!

As I readied for my next sortie, I was struck with a pang of guilt. She had shared something very valuable with me and I had not even given her anything in trade.

I sighed heavily. I knew what I needed to do. I flew back to my ship, driving my poor beasts at a breakneck pace.

I gathered all the Sevrawds in the mess hall and began assembling all sorts of small trinkets to give the primitives. Of course they all fit easily into the black hole bag. With an ample supply of gifts, I quickly made my way back to the town. My routine established I made my rounds, finishing just as the first fingers of daylight gently broke through a nearby mountain range. I felt good inside.

The small probe I left told the same story in each home. Alarm, befuddlement, then joy. The primitives gathered in their central square, showing off their new baubles. I watched as a larger one pushed a smaller one down, taking his bauble and dropping the one I’d left for him.

“Well,” I muttered. “Guess I’d better make a list of who’s been naughty or nice for next year’s survey...”

(742 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2016
Reviews/critiques welcome

I think "they" are looking for any out of the box thinking that could lead to a potential breakthrough to help the US maintain its technological advantage. The book "Ghost Fleet" (which I've read) is sci-fi in this vein - the US succumbs to a technological "Pearl Harbor" inflicted by China. It is fascinating reading and now required reading in Pentagon circles.

Anyone can enter. It is an open competition. Look at the waiver form about how much you are signing away by entering. It is one of the five PDF's on the page.

Hello everyone,

I just found out about this sci-fi writing contest the US Army is conducting:

https://community.apan.org/wg/tradoc-...

They want ideas about warfare, etc., in the 2030 through 2050 timeframe. If you go to the website I listed here, there are five PDF's. Two are examples of the writing, the other three are pieces of information about the contest.

If you're interested in military sci-fi, this might be something for you. I think I might take a run at it.

Way to go Kalifer! Any stocks you'd recommend? :)

Jot, I really liked the longer version in your Consortium collection. This story will certainly lend itself to a full length novel. Great work!

You are quite welcome! And don't worry about reviewing. We all just do it if and when we have the time. No pressure!

For those of you eating turkey this Nov. 24, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

I have sincerely enjoyed reading all of your works since I first started contributing in April. It is a genuine pleasure to experience your creativity!

Kalifer wrote: "C. Lloyd Greville and Justin Sewall, thank you for taking the time to make such complete reviews. Lloyd, I like your suggestion for a title change to Simularity, if I can keep the word processor fr..."

Very welcome Kalifer!

J.F. wrote: "Thank you for the generous critique, Justin. BTW, the story is an expansion of a story I entered in a contest back in 2013 but was never published or posted anywhere so I don't think Positive Chang..."

You don't need to see his identification...these aren't the droids you're looking for...

You are very welcome!

Justin Sewall’s review of “Itzamna” by John Appius Quill

The start of Quill’s Itzamna begins with traditional sci-fi. A human being steps out onto an alien world and looks out at a landscape that is both foreign and familiar. A French/English speaking octopede greets him and together they walk towards a time machine that few people earn the privilege to see or engage with. It is a witty introduction to the story, the alien octopede adding a bit of levity to a story that soon makes a detour into serious emotional territory.

The protagonist Jack does not want to meet any historical figures – no, he has a more noble purpose: to find a cure for his wife’s cancer. But instead of using the time machine for this errand of mercy, the octopede proposes a different solution. He can cure Jane by consuming the cancer and secreting a fluid to prevent its return. A radical, creative yet clever action by Quill that moves the story from a medical drama and enables it to pivot back to time travel. Now, a cured Jane can travel through time with Jack to Venice before the floods – a trip most likely she could never have taken without her spouse’s selfless and sacrificial efforts to save her.

Quill imbues his story with an emotional gravitas that was impressive to read and expertly executed. Never maudlin, it leaves the plain of despair, soars with increasing hope and delivers an emotionally satisfying ending. Whereas many protagonists in other stories this month were unable to change their pasts or futures using a time machine, Quill changes the course of Jane’s future not with an infernal time machine, but with an alien willing to help. Perhaps the greater message is we do not need a time machine to change the future, but simply acts of kindness towards one another.

Well done!

Justin Sewall’s review of “This is a Message for Tim” by J.F. Williams

I had a good laugh when I first read this story. Please let me explain, for this poignant tale of a thwarted effort to change the past is anything but funny. It is a tragedy. Why did I laugh? Because in the Seattle market on 97.3 KIRO radio, an ad is currently running for a hypnosis clinic called Positive Changes. The ad starts with the answering machine beep and a woman leaving a message for her past self about how her life has turned around, she’s more social, outgoing, successful, etc. But if she doesn’t call the clinic, the future life she’s just described will cease to exist. So when I read, “Tim, I’m you – from the future,” I had to chuckle. It was not at the author’s expense, merely at the coincidence between the story and the sixty second spot.

Williams’ story is touching. At first it is hopeful. Perhaps the past will be changed. Mistakes fixed or accidents averted. The one-sided conversation from Tim’s future self into the answering machine feels real and genuine. These are things you might really say to a past self. I know I would! Don’t do X, Y or Z! You’ll regret it.

Proofs are given that should easily convince past Tim that future Tim is who he says he is and should be trusted. Potential riches are there for the taking, setting Tim up for life. And yet. And yet. The sponsoring corporation of this temporal jaunt is like a casino. The house always wins. All-Bindings Corp., or time, or both have conspired to thwart future Tim. Past Tim will simply delete the messages and Tim’s timeline will continue unchanged. Change slips through future Tim’s fingers, leaving the reader genuinely feeling for his plight. If only!

William’s dialogue moves the story along at a great pace and successfully breaks it up into different segments. It never stands still as it winds inexorably to time’s inescapable conclusion.

Justin Sewall’s review of “If MacGyver and Siri Ever Had A Son” by Carrie Zylka

Zylka’s story starts with a bang, or at least a belching wheeze of steam. An innocuous and unexpected time machine appears in the guest bedroom to the surprise of Grandma and Grandpa. Out of the infernal contraption pops their grandson – along with their little dog, now three weeks deceased. Hearts melt, tears ensue and the ingenuity of MacGyver and Siri are exalted.

The story immediately incorporates the month’s theme, easily and without being forced. Questions are raised. What is this thing? Where did it come from and who built it? Its cardboard construction and misspelled labeling is reminiscent of a Calvin & Hobbes creation, and the image of a soot-covered Calvin triumphantly holding a similarly soot-covered dog was drawn in my mind.

Grandma and Grandpa are mere thumbnail sketches of characters, but that is all they need to be. Grandparents are readily conjured in the mind, complete with backstory. No further detail is needed. The setting is timeless, although the use of a record player, Siri and MacGyver could place the story in the present day. It is these touchstones that help give the story a basic framework and foundation.

What could be a simple and silly story about a grandson’s successful science experiment ends up showing its true heart with the return of a beloved pet. Who would not want to go through time to rescue a family member, friend or even a dog? By pulling on our heart strings with the reappearance of the little dog and the grandson’s desire to dispel his grandmother’s sadness, Zylka’s story develops a respectable emotional center that many people can relate to.

Sadness gives way to humor as Zylka rounds out the emotional repertoire of her story by demonstrating that Siri and MacGyver’s ingenuity will triumph over time and loss. A thoroughly enjoyable time tale that had my tail wagging at the end.

Jot wrote: "Thanks Tom and Justin for the wonderful reviews. I came up with the original concept of this story a few years back and published a 10K word version as the lead story in my Consortium anthology wit..."

Very welcome Jot. I just picked up your Consortium anthology and look forward to reading the longer version.

Justin Sewall's review of "Overtime" by Kalifer Deil

A trillionaire gets bored and builds a time machine, but the temporal mechanics here only allow trips into the future. After an ego boosting send-off from the press, Dr. Anderson P. Kroner notices his chronometer is set for 10,000 years instead of the specified 1,000. After a harrowing ride similar to Jodi Foster's in Contact (which is even referenced) Kroner emerges to find life has been a Matrix-like simulation. He is offered his own new avatar from a selection of Star Trek species.

Kalifer's Overtime begins as primarily a narrative with the main character not really coming into his own until after the temporal journey begins and concludes. He has a Howard Hughes type flair; rich, building his own vehicle and creating his own rules. He feels easy to know, somewhat cavalier with just a touch of arrogance.

The future people he meets are less well developed, they are only avatars after all, and the emotional impact of learning life was just a dream is strangely missing. However, the story does not get bogged down in philosophical navel-gazing and whisks you along to its surprise yet somewhat predictable conclusion. None of this reduces the story in any way.

Overall a quick, clever and compelling story put together very well with creative elements pulled from the best of several sci-fi franchises.

Justin Sewall’s review of “Bubble” by Marianne

Sometimes I wonder about the thought processes of other authors. I do not mean this in a negative way. Indeed, I admire the stream-of-consciousness style of Marianne’s “Bubble” story, floating along as it does much like a soap bubble on a gentle breeze laced with LSD. Other authors in this group such as Heather and Paula have much the same ability to create a hard-to-understand-yet-fascinating sci-fi construct.

These types of stories do not give a reader a firm foundation to stand on. They are mentally slippery and hard to grasp, yet are all the better for it in their unconventionality. What is going on? Who is speaking? What’s the point? What the heck? None of these questions are easily answered in stories like this, and oftentimes the questions go unanswered. This is not a bad thing.

One thing is clear. Someone wants to get back to the Blue Girl. Presumably, she is the love of someone’s life and the pursuer will go through time, space, decay, death and soap to get to her. The story shifts in the last quarter into something more solid and grounded. There are mental hand holds to reach for. Ah, two people are having dinner, a dog begs for food, tangible and relatable activities at last allow the reader to make a little sense of what is going on.

There is a hint that perhaps all of this has happened before, and will happen again in an unbroken loop of time. Thai food is the antidote for depression (take note!) and soap is…what the heck?

A very creative and intriguing story. Great work!