Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Got mine done Friday night but worked all weekend at Boeing Family Day. Just need to do a final proof and post!

I'm really enjoying everyone's stories this month. I finally just got an idea this morning so I'll be working on it this evening. It is a timely concept and controversial, but I think all of the authors have handled it very well and in their own unique ways.

Nicely done people!

Yea for Tom!! (insert confetti and party favors here) Way to go!

I appreciate any critiques and comments about my work and the critiques do not influence my votes in any way. I vote for what I like, not what other people like.

The critiques are opinions, and it is good to get other opinions about one's work (in my opinion - ha!). Tom's critique this month of my story noted that he did not like certain aspects that deflated the suspense. That's okay with me! It also helps me see if someone did not understand the story I had in my head but it did not translate so well in type.

So thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment or critique my work, it is greatly appreciated!! I'm just sorry I have not gotten many critiques out myself!

I read stories first, then critiques. That way, no spoilers. :)

Great story C!

It was crazy for sure, but went well. Visited Trekcetera in Drumheller, Alberta. Look it up online. A CBS licensed museum with all kinds of great Star Trek props, uniforms worn by the cast and displays.

Mine's done. It may or may not be a semi-autobiographical account of my recent road trip...

Vacation Escape

“Are we really going on a vacation Daddy?”

Talus Fried looked down at the soft doe eyes of his little Sophia and tried to hide the panic in his own.

He scooped her up in his big, strong, tattooed arms.

“Yes of course we are my princess.” Talus lied. He gently stroked her cheek.

“Where are we going Dad?!” An eager voice called from the respite room.

“Never you mind son. It’s a surprise.” More lies.

“Talus, are you sure about this?” His wife Moira asked in hushed tones.

“Yes of course I am!” he hissed, and was instantly sorry. The feverish packing of their small cargo ship was fraying his nerves.

Moira turned silently away.

“Why are we taking so much stuff Dad?”

“Instead of asking me questions, why don’t you get over here and help me pack the Odyssey.”

Talus tossed his son a large duffle bag. “Those are your things Ehtrain. Get them stowed in the extra cargo pod. Move it!”

Ehtrain staggered slightly under the weight of the well-worn bag, but deftly pivoted and let the bag’s momentum get him underway.

A brilliant flash illuminated the sky, shining through every window of the house, then disappeared just as quickly. A distant rumbling soon followed.

So…Talus thought. It’s begun.

“Hurry children! We need to get going so we don’t miss our jump window!” He moved them along into the cramped passenger quarters of the Odyssey and strapped them in.

Moira returned, her simple house clothes replaced by an old uniform and form fitting body armor under a dark cloak. Talus allowed himself a quick glance.

“You look good.”

“It’s more snug than I remember.” Moira shifted her breastplate.

“I’m not complaining.”

“Focus please husband.”

“Yes wife.”

Successive rumblings built one upon another, until it was a continuous, deafening roar.

“Go go go!!”

Moira strapped herself into the navigator station as Talus leapt into the pilot’s seat.

“No time to preflight!” yelled Talus. “Charge drive coils and prep to switch over once they’re at fifty percent.” Moira flipped the appropriate switches in rapid succession.

“But, they’ll burn out…”

“Just do it!!”

They could both feel the rumbling through the Odyssey’s deck plates.

“Are we going on vacation now Daddy?” asked Sophia sweetly, oblivious to the oblivion reigning down from the heavens.

“Yes Sophia. Right…now! Moira punch it!”

She pulled the throttle back hard.

The cabin lights flickered, then went out and the engines failed to ignite as the drive coil energy dissipated in a wailing groan.

Sophia whimpered while Ehtrain rocked quietly in his seat.
Talus banged on the flight deck computers.

“I told you it would burn out!” said Moira accusingly.

“Oh yeah? Well I didn’t become the best blockade runner in the Home Fleet without learning a few tricks!!”

Talus ran back to the cramped engine compartment as the Odyssey rocked steadily on its launch pad from the orbital bombardment.

“Sensors indicate a blockade around the entire planet. We’re cut off!” He could hear the panic in his wife’s voice.

“We’re taking a detour. Punch in these coordinates.” He rattled off a string of numbers he knew by heart.

“But, there’s nothing there!” Moira protested.

“It’s a pirate jump point. Please honey trust me!!”

The Odyssey lifted dangerously high on one side and crashed back down on its landing gear. Talus could hear his children screaming.

He shunted power from every other ship system into the drive coils and began the charging sequence again.

Settling back into his seat he looked over at his wife, fear contorting her otherwise beautiful face.

“Fifty percent!”

This time Talus reamed back on the throttle, nearly tearing it from the console. The engines sputtered, coughed, then caught in a blaze of drive plasma.

The Odyssey rocked skyward, the only pillar of fire moving contrary to the ones scoring the surface of their planet. Sophia squealed with delight. Ehtrain vomited into the space sickness bag.

“Commerce interdictor directly ahead!”

“I see it! I SEE IT!”

Banking hard to starboard at the edge of space, Talus avoided a hail of deadly projectiles and energy weapons.

“Open jump corridor now!”

Moira confirmed the coordinates in the navigation computer.

“Execute!” ordered Talus.

A blue tear erupted in the fabric of space, the Odyssey appeared to stretch into infinity, then was gone.

***
“Honey? Honey!”

“Hmm, what?”

“I said exit 25.”

“Oh…”

The Honda Odyssey hesitated at the intersection, turn signal still blinking.

From the back seat, Sophia piped up.

“Dad, are we there yet?”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2018
Reviews/critiques welcome

I'm trying to get mine written. Being on the road was not conducive to writing!!!

It is truly the summer slump.

Nice one Tom!! Great use of the elements!

Tom wrote: "One small step for dad..."

Whew! Several hundreds of miles...so far...relative sanity...ack!

C. wrote: "Nice back-to-back win, J.
Don't forget the sun screen! With that many kids, just use a gallon can and a house-painting brush. It's way faster. : )
-C"

LOL! I was just going to let the mosquitos take them away... :)

Thanks Tom! I’m traveling with my 6 kids, so the logistics are about on par with the Apollo missions. Full van, full roof pod, full sedatives ( for me!) Lol!

July theme and required elements are up! Since I'm hitting the road on 7/5 and not back until 7/12, I look forward to seeing how everyone utilizes the theme and required elements.

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Independence Day!

Best to all,

Justin

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: The family road trip

Required elements:

1) An unexpected detour
2) A mechanical failure
3) "Are we there yet?"

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: The family road trip

Required elements:

1) An unexpected detour
2) A mechanical failure
3) "Are we there yet?"

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: The family road trip

Required elements:

1) An unexpected detour
2) A mechanical failure
3) "Are we there yet?"

Thank you Tom, C, Paula and Kalifer! I really appreciate it! Now I've got to come up with something before I take off on the family summer road trip this week... I have six kids so logistically it's like planning a trip to the moon. Anyway! Thank you everyone!

Paula wrote: "Good work, Justin!"

Thanks Paula!! And congratulations on the release of your new book!!