Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Nice one C!

Scary Tom. Scary!!! Nice work!

Thanks Paula!

Thanks W.A., much appreciated! I do have two self-published sci-fi novellas on Amazon (part one and part two) called Cerulean Rising: Beginnings and Cerulean Rising: Evolutions, if you care to check them out. Thanks again!

I like it!

Thank you!! I have posted the September challenge, so Jot will put it to the top when he gets back.

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: Rip Van Winkle effect

Required elements:

1) Painful loss
2) Compensating gain

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: Rip Van Winkle effect

Required elements:

1) Painful loss
2) Compensating gain

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

Theme: Rip Van Winkle effect

Required elements:

1) Painful loss
2) Compensating gain

Thanks Chris!

Three times this year? Really? Inconceivable! I don't know how the voting shook out yet, but I feel like there were other stories far better than mine. I should buy a lottery ticket... Thank you everyone, I sincerely appreciate it!

Tom wrote: "Announcement: With one week left in the contest, and seven stories posted, I'm going to begin posting critiques tomorrow evening.

If anyone does not wish their story critiqued, please indicate tha..."

Hi Tom,

Thanks again for your insights and feedback about my story this month. Did you find the narrative part too boring or plain? Were you wanting more dialogue? That's the impression I got from your review. Thx!

Hello everyone,

I just submitted my votes. It was very hard to choose this month! Great stories by all!!

J.J., good story. It had a lot of texture and detail that I enjoyed.

Paula,

I appreciate how your stories illustrate how far I need to go to become a good writer!!!! :)

Jot wrote: "Hey Justin, saw your post about parking that fighter jet. Do you get to fly those things?"

Hi Jot! I wish! My illustrious military career was one quarter of Air Force ROTC at the University of Washington back in 1990. My eyesight was only 20/70 uncorrected and the Air Force wanted 20/20 to start. So I did not continue pursuing a military career. I work at the Boeing Everett Delivery Center doing internal communications. I'm also their go to event guy so I was responsible for a large piece of Boeing Family Day. I just got to direct the Growler off of Paine Field and to its parking spot so we could hook it up to a tug and tow it into position. Besides... I get air sick... :)

C. wrote: "Nice story Justin!"

Thanks C!!

C. wrote: "Justin,

"Bring it, don't sing it!" Lol

(I had a sales manager years ago that used to say that about purchase orders.)

Purchase order fulfilled.

Dust of Empire

I looked down at my dying father and listened to his labored breathing. It mocked the respirator’s valiant but vain effort to assist him. The fine red dust still managed to get through the hospital’s filtration system and floated almost invisibly through the air, collecting in stagnant eddies on the window sill.

He held my hand weakly and fought to expel his final words.

“Don’t… greave, my son.” Coughing racked his once powerful frame.

“But father I,”

His grip tightened.

“Take…the pain… and… and…"

I put my ear close to his mouth. “And what father?” His hold began to loosen.

“Do… what must…be… done…”

His arm flopped off the bed as medical monitors wailed at the lack of vital signs.

Doctors and nurses ran into the room, but I knew he was gone. Bitterness overcame my sorrow and I marched resolutely back to the Interior Ministry – of which I was head.

***
When the aliens arrived, it was one of the most joyous days of our civilization. I was only a small boy then, but I remember running along the contoured banks of the Grand Canal and looking up at the sky in wonder. Our leaders were cautious of course and the armed forces were held in high alert. It was impossible to focus on my studies – indeed my governess was too distracted to teach me. Finally, after hovering over the capital city for days on end, a message was received. Newspaper headlines screamed “We come in peace” in huge black letters. What the news did not tell us was the second message read, “We need your help.”

Celebration turned to consternation as we soon learned this was only a refugee ship, and the millions of its inhabitants desperately needed a new home. Debate in parliament was fierce until the prime minister cast the deciding vote in favor of manumission. The aliens would be allowed to land and live among us. It was the first act in the long, tortured tragedy of our downfall.

***
I was already a junior back-bencher in parliament when the troubles began. Perhaps they had always been there and I had chosen not to see them. Differences between our two species led to racism, exploitation and every kind of vice our society had not seen in over 150 years. Prostitution, substance abuse, crime and general disorder seemed to follow these creatures wherever they settled. The local constabularies were overwhelmed. They reproduced faster and more numerously than we did, and within a few decades we found ourselves decidedly in the minority on our own planet.

This led to even greater problems as their metabolic processes began changing our climate on a cataclysmic scale. The canals, ever our source of fresh water since the rise of our civilization, became polluted and began evaporating away as our once verdant planet was devoured by the Red Desert. It expanded like a cancer from the equator, racing in both directions to our north and south poles.

Something had to be done.

***
When the position of Interior Minister became vacant, I campaigned on a platform of segregation. The aliens would have their own reservations where they could be contained, secured, and more easily controlled. Families would be kept together when feasible, or separated if necessary – and it was often necessary. For a population struggling to maintain its way of life, my proposals seemed like a logical and rational approach to the problem. However, the aliens had their own ideas. Soon there was rioting and our major cities burned.

So I proposed the Final Solution: Expulsion.

All of the aliens would be rounded up and reloaded aboard their vessel, their memories wiped, and deposited on the nearest habitable planet. Any alien who resisted was to be shot on sight as an example to the others.

Months dragged on as all of our military resources were dedicated to removing what had become, really, an infestation. Their ship was held in orbit until every last one of the furry beasts was hunted down and – shall we say – deported.

Perhaps “repatriated” is a better term.

At last they were all crammed aboard their ark of misery and sent away to the third planet in our solar system – but what they left behind could not be undone. The Red Desert consumed our cities, filled our canals and entombed those of us who remained.

Now I lay in a hospital bed like my father, choking on the red dust and gasping out my final breaths, alone.

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2018
Reviews/critiques welcome

I hear you!