Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

It's supposed to be fun!! Why else are we doing this? :)

Wow. Productive evening! Again, nice work!

Jack! What a great story! Loved it! Very different in a good way.

Good analogy C!

Thank you Tom, I really appreciate it. And thank you for all the reviews for all the other stories too. I know it takes time, thought and effort to do them. I enjoy getting others perspectives and I know I've been remiss in getting any reviews out myself.

You are spot on with the 1950's vibe, which is what I was aiming for. I actually wrote this story a bit out of sequence. I wrote the beginning part, then the end part, and as I said the middle was the sticking part - also due to word count.

Anyway, thanks again!

Hey, I hear you. I fume and stress and strain trying to come up with something a lot of the time. I've been encouraged a bit by a FB page called "I'm a sci-fi writer dammit!" (not a title I would have used, however...) Anyway, people just encourage you to write. It may not be the best or the most beautiful, but just to get the words out. You just never know what you might create.

Chris, I second Tom's comments. I liked it. Don't beat yourself up. There are plenty of people happy to do that for you. :) LOL!

This month I had a beginning and end to my story, but for the life of me I could not figure out a good transition between the two. I finally came up with something, but it may still be a bit weak.

Anyway, your story had a good twist. Good job!

So sorry to hear about this Jot. I will certainly pray for him.

Positronic Faux Pas

“Is the clink-clank coming today Daddy?” Ethan asked. His little boy voice sounded sweet and eager as he fogged up the living room window.
“Yes Ethan, today,” his father answered, stealing up behind his son for a quick hug.
“Are you excited?”
“Oh yes Daddy! I’ll have my very own clink-clank, the only one on the street!”
“Now Ethan, we discussed this. It’s a robot, and it’s coming to help out Mommy and Daddy around the house.”
“But can he play with me when his chores are done?”
“We’ll see. I think you have a few chores of your own to take care of young man. Please pick up your toys in here. You wouldn’t want the robot to step on them, would you?”
“Yes Daddy!”
Ethan compliantly left his perch on the couch to retrieve the diaspora of playthings around the room.
“Do you really think it will be safe?” asked Mrs. Smith from the dining room table.
“Of course it is dear,” Mr. Smith condescended. “’The government wouldn’t let them in people’s homes if they were a menace. All robots are mandated to be Three Laws safe.”
“Do I have to bring up the automower again?” rejoined Mrs. Smith, who was not a wife to be condescended to despite her husband’s advanced degree in robotics.
“That’s completely different.”
“Mmmm hmmm. Tell that to my hydrangeas.”
“It will take care of everything on the ‘honeydo’ list,” Mr. Smith cajoled.
“We’ll see -”
“Mommy! Daddy! He’s here! He’s here!”
“Oh, let’s go look!” Mr. Smith used Ethan’s interruption to disengage from his spouse and head to the front door, almost as eagerly as his son. The deliverymen beat him to it and their home’s melodious doorbell sounded.
Ethan flung open the door and was surprised by a large crate sitting on their front steps.
A deliveryman poked out from around behind it.
“Smith household?”
“Yes, thank you. Please bring it inside – right this way,” said Mr. Smith, gently moving Ethan behind his legs.
***
Despite Mrs. Smith’s doubts, the robot – specifically a CST800 Domestic Assistant, fit in quite naturally with the family’s daily routine. Dishes were carefully cleared away for washing, carpets vacuumed, and dust and dirt removed with amazing efficiency. Soon the entire home sparkled from top to bottom while the Smith’s enjoyed unprecedented leisure time. Mr. Smith was as good as his word, allowing the robot, now firmly entrenched as Clink-Clank, to become Ethan’s afternoon playtime companion.
***
“Clink-Clank, will you help me with my science project?” Ethan looked up from his tablet as the robot passed by his room. It paused its forward track and pivoted to face him.
“I am programmed to comply Master Ethan. How may I assist you?”
“Well… I’m not sure what I should do, exactly.”
“Please wait while I access my files,” said the robot with his customary response whenever it needed longer than usual positronic processing time.
“I have compiled a list of typical science projects appropriate for your grade level. Shall I recite them to you?”
“Yes please you big silly,” Ethan teased.
Ethan thought they all sounded boring. Baking soda volcanoes, growing crystals, the solar system, all were dismissed in turn. Finally the robot spoke one that caught his imagination: the life cycle of the butterfly.
“That’s it! Butterflies! I want to do that one!”
“An excellent choice Master Ethan.”
“But, I’m still not sure what I should do.”
“Please provide me with the project’s academic parameters.”
Ethan held out a wrinkled, goldenrod sheet of printed instructions. The robot instantly scanned the text through its optical sensors.
“We will need one terrarium and other specific supplies. Am I authorized to make the necessary purchases?”
“Um… I need to check with my Dad.”
“Very well. I will continue my daily household routine until you obtain the necessary authorization from Mr. Smith.”
“Thanks Clink-Clank, you’re the greatest!”
Ethan ran downstairs to find his father.
“Daaaaaad!”
Looking down at Ethan’s abandoned tablet, the robot observed it was a nature documentary about a particularly large species of butterfly. It picked up the tablet to download the necessary information. The robot was unsure exactly how to get this specific type of butterfly. However, by accessing all available information about genetic manipulation and radioactive exposure it was sure it could achieve the desired results. After downloading the documentary, it continued on its preprogrammed cleaning regimen.
Ethan’s tablet continued playing, its tiny speakers proclaiming to the empty room that “Godzilla vs. Mothra” would return after these messages.

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2019
Reviews/critiques welcome

I liked your story Tom!

Good story C!! It's like "Red Dawn" all over again!

Dean, what a great story! It was so...gentle. I could really feel a sense of wonder in your writing. Nicely done!

C! Thanks for your vote! I hope you enjoyed your drink!

Very touching Sam, nice one!

Great story Bill!

Chris wrote: "Just remember, when you're voting, there are 2 pages of stories. The last one is by Rejoice."

I voted for Chris eight times. :)

Just kidding!

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed "Infinity" this month, I sincerely appreciate it!!! I'm a bit overwhelmed with the mass of stories, but I'll get my votes in. Thanks again!

Seconded!

Okay, I've posted my story from March 2017. I feel like it is one of the best short stories I've ever written. Happy 2019 everyone!

Way to go Jot!!