Justin Sewall (Sumas, WA)'s comments from Science Fiction Microstory Contest Showing 501-520 of 1,256

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Joy wrote: "I enjoyed Justin's Christmas story. Congrats!"

Thank you Joy!!

New story, comment and critique discussions posted for Jan. 2020. Good luck and happy writing to everyone!

JSS

The following rules are from Jot Russell, moderator for this contest:

To help polish our skills and present a flavor of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

**********

This Month's Theme:

A New Year’s resolution gone horribly wrong. It may be serious, funny, world-ending, etc.

Required Elements:

A droid sidekick for the protagonist
Some form or fashion of Customs/Immigration/Border Patrol bureaucracy (not trying to be incendiary here)
A treasured rubber ducky

Muhahahaha! I've taken over the holiday!

Thank you all again, it was a nice surprise!

Every year we go to a New Year's camp up on Quadra Island (just east of Vancouver Island, BC. They have a talent show at the end, and for the past two years I've been reading one story from my year's collection. I always get a good response - which is nice. So I know which one I'll be reading this year. :)

Thank you everyone! A nice little Christmas present for me! I hope Christmas was enjoyable for everyone (who celebrate) and that the New Year brings you all many good things! New story prompt up in a moment!

Rogue One ended exactly the way I hoped it would: segueing into the beginning of A New Hope. I wanted to be able to watch Rogue One and immediately delve into A New Hope, which you can almost seamlessly. It was a great blend of nostalgia and new story telling.

Tom wrote: "Justin wrote: "Ho ho ho, now I've got a machine gun... If Die Hard can be a Christmas movie, then your story is fine! Yippee ki A!!"

I'm curious about this new "Black Christmas" movie. ('Wasn't cr..."

I'm really not a fan of Christmas horror and did not enjoy seeing the preview before I watched "Midway." Home Alone is about as dangerous as I want to get at Christmas. :)

Tom wrote: "Justin wrote: "Mine's up."

The three wise men and the expectant couple on the road. Definitely another Christmas-themed tale. And, very well written at that. Nice ending."

Thanks Tom, it seemed appropriate. I wanted to see if I could make a sci-fi three wise men type story. I know my last one was also biblically themed, so that may grow too repetitive for some.

The names of the three crew are the names of the three wise men in Ben-Hur.

Mine's up.

The Greatest Gift

Tramp freighter BTDT-1225 exited hyperspace in a flash of light and shimmered into solidity. Known affectionately by the crew as “Been There, Done That,” its pitted and patchwork hull hid a cargo of vast wealth. Trailing waste heat and radiation from overworked superluminal engines, it wallowed inelegantly in the sub-light shipping lane assigned by the Transport Guild.
“We’re really pushing her hard this time,” noted Balthazar.
“She can take it,” rebutted Melchior.
“Well let’s be careful. We don’t want to lose this load!” added Gaspar.
“Indeed not!” roared Balthazar, heartily clapping both of his companions on the shoulder.
“This haul means a kingly sum for all of us! Have you decided what you want to do with it?”
A brief silence hung between them.
“I was hoping to buy a small place overlooking the Sea of Pearls before Transformation Day back home,” answered Gaspar, wistfully staring off into space. His vestigial dorsal fins moved gently, as if underwater.
“A romantic to the end, eh Gaspar?” Balthazar gently teased. His own scales incandesced faintly.
“Always.”
“And you, friend Melchior. What grand designs have you?”
“My own private Keep carved into the side of the snow-capped mountains of Alterak.”
“Complete with a harem no doubt!” jested Balthazar, dissolving the three into raucous laughter. Melchior smiled broadly, then smoothed his ruffled feathers in response to the mock insult. “All the better to celebrate the Trysting,” he chirped.
Balthazar inhaled to speak, but was cut off by the shrill cry of an incoming distress signal.

***
The rogue star had appeared in the eastern sky without warning, bright and menacing. As it fell into loose orbit around the backwater world of Bethel Five, farming colonies below suffered its gravitational wrath. Seismic faults sprang to life, dormant volcanoes erupted and shifting tides flooded coastal communities. Against this backdrop of cataclysm and catastrophe, an expectant couple struggled along the single road linking their hamlet to the next town where family – and a medical clinic – awaited. Having loaded his wife and necessary supplies aboard their Multi-Use-Lifting-Equipment, the husband drove their simple repulsor craft slowly and carefully around the debris and newly formed cracks that impeded their progress. Looking up, the husband noted another shimmering light moving swiftly through the sky.
“Is that the transport?” asked the wife, hopeful and fearful at the same time.
“It’s too early for that,” answered her husband. “Not sure who or what it is.”
“Honey,” said the wife, cradling her abdomen and trying not to cry, “Please go faster.”
“I’m trying love, I’m trying.”

***
“We’re coming in hot!” exclaimed Balthazar.
“I told you we’re too heavy for atmospheric flight!” whined Gaspar.
“We’ll make it!” encouraged Melchior. “Deploying airbrakes!”
BTDT-1225 audibly groaned against the strain of conflicting stresses upon its hull, but slowly began decelerating.
“Retro thrusters!” bellowed Balthazar.
Dust devils and debris swirled around the aged freighter as it landed heavily – but safely – on the outskirts of town. It dwarfed every remaining structure. The gangway deployed in a vortex of venting exhaust gases, landing with an audible thud upon Bethel Five’s rich soil. Balthazar, Melchior and Gaspar emerged, robed in protective clothing and wearing dialect discriminators and breathing apparatus. They surveyed the destruction around them. A small knot of townspeople gathered a short distance away. One quickly approached them, gesturing vehemently.
“Please, we need help!” he exclaimed. “All of our power is offline, backups have failed, and we have a medical emergency at our clinic! Is there anything you can do?”
The trio reacted decisively and sprang immediately into action.

***
Balthazar, Melchior and Gaspar sat in the damaged waiting room of the medical clinic, the hum of their donated generator audible in the background. They were tired but cheerful. Much of their time had been spent clearing debris and setting up emergency shelters around the town. Their bipedal cargo loader proved its worth as a rescue apparatus, lifting entire walls of collapsed structures to rescue those trapped inside.
“It’s going to cost a lot to get this place going again,” said Balthazar quietly.
“Most of their homes have been damaged or destroyed,” noted Melchior.
“I’m hungry,” said Gaspar, drawing reproving glances from his cohorts.
“What?! Well I am!”
“Excuse me gentlemen,” a medtech interrupted.
“There is someone who would like to meet you.”
They were ushered into the clinic’s main operating room and beheld a mother cradling her new child, the proud father looking on.
“We have a tradition,” started Balthazar. “To give gifts whenever a child is born…”

(749 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2019
Reviews/critiques welcome

Just watched a fun documentary about Die Hard last night on the Netflix original series, "The Movies that Made Us." It has several episodes about movies from the 80's. The Die Hard one was interesting, and oddly enough, so was the one about Dirty Dancing. It's similar to the series "The Toys that Made Us," which at a minimum you should watch the one about Star Wars toys...

Ho ho ho, now I've got a machine gun... If Die Hard can be a Christmas movie, then your story is fine! Yippee ki A!!

Nice one Tom!

And to you Tom, and everyone!!

Congrats Greg! Nicely done! Now set us all up for success this December with another great prompt!

Yes, I concur with my esteemed colleagues. I really appreciate the time you take to write your reviews and give constructive feedback!

Kalifer wrote: "Hi Justin, First the explorers, then the exploiters. She saw how innocent and vulnerable they were.

One of my daydreams was to have a time machine so I could warn Montezuma about Cortes and show ..."

Understood, thanks Kalifer. Again, well done. Have you ever read Harry Turtledove's "Guns of the South"?

Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Science Fiction Microstory Contest