Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Tom wrote: ""Penny for your thoughts?" by Justin Sewall

An anthology of alien/human encounters from varying viewpoints.

The first two scenes are first person narratives, each delivered by a different alien o..."

Thanks Tom for taking the time to write all of these great reviews!!!

Much like Paula's, I appreciate your psychological/metaphysical because it's not a way that I write very well.

Marianne wrote: "Got my story up. Blame Journey to Arcturus. I think I was channeling a new version of that."

Touching. Fascinating. Excellent. I loved it!

Jack wrote: "One other thing about the site for those interested. I am thinking of adding a section called "Listen", where visitors can listen to stories that have been uploaded--either read by the author or so..."

Well you know I'm all over that! :)

Interesting thoughts Jot. I'm fine with moving to Jack's site since it, perhaps, might have more overall exposure. As for the giant story - it is an intriguing idea and I'm interested in participating.

Thanks C! Much appreciated. Great prompt for this month!

Penny for your thoughts?

It was unlike anything I had ever encountered before. Bipedal, endothermic, with an unruly shock of fur on the top of its head, it stood immobilized across from me. A small stream of what I assumed were digestive juices oozed from one side of its mouth and dripped onto the floor. Very untidy… it smelled too. No matter, the Reading would commence accordingly. I hit TRANSCRIBE and gently placed my tendrils on both sides of its head. A loud noise emitted from the orifice at the bottom of its head, a shrieking, piercing sound as unheard on my world for over a millennia. Touching MUTE, I once again enjoyed the silence I so desired and savored. Sound waves were so primitive and it was easy to suppress the ones coming from the creature. I focused, searching for any spark of intelligence in a flood of images and rudimentary thoughts…

Fearfearfearfearrunrunrunrunfearchildhomehungryfearfearfearrunmatehelphelpchildchildrunfleefleefallfalling…terror….terror…SCREAM!!!!

Nothing. Not a coherent mental construct, idea, or inspiration. It was driven almost completely by instinct. I cataloged my findings, wiped its memory and returned it close to where I had detained it.
***
I reviewed my predecessor’s notes. He had found the life forms on this planet primitive and unremarkable. Grudgingly, I had to admit he might be right. However after all this time I wanted to see for myself. My own sample lay ventral side up in stasis and slowly began regaining consciousness. While I anticipated a vocalization, I was startled with how loud it truly was within the confines of my ship.
“Lor’ ha’ mercy! I’ve died and gone t’ Hell! Sweet Jesus save me froom this Devil’s spawn!”
I muted its vocalizations and concentrated on its mind. My tendrils gently brushed away the fur from its forehead. The mental cacophony flowed over me…
FearfearfearmercymercymercypleaseforgivemeFatherforIhavesinneddon’tleavemefearfearfatigueregretregretregretREGRET!!!
Nothing of any significance. Not one intelligent thought. I confirmed my predecessor’s findings, wiped its memory and returned it to its domicile.
***
Detective Tyler Stimson was startled out of his reverie by a thick brown file landing on his desk.
“Yo Stimson, where you at?”
”Huh?”
“Where you at man?” his Lieutenant vigorously tapped the side of his head.
“Uh, nowhere. Just, uh…”
“Well I need you here now Stim. Just picked up another amnesia victim today.”
“So?”
“So? Man haven’t you been watching the news?” The Lieutenant snorted in exasperation. “This will be the eighth one in as many days – all within the same five block radius.”
“Oh… right, right, right. Yes, I’m tracking with you now Lieutenant.”
“Good, because the Mayor is crawling up my ass to get this locked down. So I need every detective out there pounding the pavement and getting me some answers!”
“On it Lieutenant!” Stimson jumped up, simultaneously grabbing his wallet and keys. The Lieutenant stalked off in disgust, muttering to himself.
“… another mental vacation… lights are on but nobody’s home…blank slate…”
Feeling a bit dejected, Stimson slid his sidearm into its concealed holster and headed for the door. He didn’t know what to think, so he just let his mind wander…aimlessly and empty.

***
Stimson pulled his unmarked cruiser into a parallel parking spot and promptly got out. Slamming its door in mild frustration, he glanced over his shoulder and started walking. The coolness of the late evening washed over him and the mostly empty streets assuaged his mind. A fine mist danced ever so slightly on his face. Now that he was far from the confines of the precinct and the annoying intrusions of the Lieutenant, Stimson relaxed and let his mind process what he had read about the eight amnesiacs. There did not seem to be any connection between them – at least on the surface.

As he turned the corner at Fifth and Union, a distinct buzzing that grew in strength sounded in his ear. Thinking it was a malfunctioning sign, he looked up and was instantly blinded. Suddenly, all was quiet and dark, yet peaceful in some strange way. More bemused than alarmed, Simpson stood patiently in what appeared to be a small room. A soft light arose from one side, and a silhouette unlike anything he had ever seen moved slowly toward him. Something like tentacles or snakes undulated gently and reached out to him. He felt like he was in a dream…

***
The Researcher’s anterior tendril accidentally brushed across the stasis field control, setting it to null. As he approached his latest subject, he could detect nothing from its empty mind, until one thought emerged…

VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2020
Reviews/critiques welcome

Thanks for the feedback C!

Score another win for Davis Kelly Cole! Congrats C!

Yes, welcome Oswald! Stories are handled pretty gently here, especially for newcomers. Thanks for contributing!

Greg and Marianne... absolutely brilliant both of you! Greg, you might change your character's resolve to a New Year's resolution to meet the criteria fully. Otherwise I loved them both!

Yes, good story Jack!

Good one Jack!

Enjoyed your story C! I like your Davis character and it's been fun seeing him appear in different stories. I see a "The Chronicles of..." book in your future!

Well I was trying to make it challenging... I hope you had a good visit up here in snowy Seattle!

Hey thanks Tom! I was actually really struggling with my own criteria for this month, but I decided to model the story on my own border crossing experiences (to a lesser degree). My spouse is Canadian, so we often go up to Vancouver Island to visit her family and take the kids to camp up there. So we're often using the Blaine, WA, port-of-entry. Anyway, thank you for your positive comments, I really appreciate it!

The Only Constant In the Universe

You can tell a lot about a system by the type of Border and Customs Officials you encounter – and in my, uh, line of work, I’ve encountered them all: boorish, inept, honest, corrupt, strong, weak, talkers and mimes. My business is none of yours. Let’s just say I’m a freight expediter. I deal in valuable merchandise. I’m not an arms dealer if that’s what you’re thinking. I do have standards you know. Besides, you can get killed in that line of work. No, I’m strictly above board. Although, some of my shipping paperwork may strain the limits of credibility, it’s all on the up-and-up. All that to say, I travel a lot and I’ve met all types of BCO’s.

My constant companion is MD-11. The owner’s manual states that MD stands for medical droid, but I just call him ‘Mad Dog’. I’ve made a few special modifications myself that may or may not void his warranty and violate his base programming, but he’s gotten me out of a few tough scrapes with, uh, unruly customers. What? Sometimes they don’t want to pay – and if there’s one thing I like, it’s getting paid for my troubles. My licensed and legal lasegun is purely for personal protection. I’m just not the threatening type.

I should have known I was headed for more trouble the moment I disembarked at the New Vegas orbital point-of-entry station. It was New Year’s Eve and I wanted a little R and R on the biggest party planet this side of the Tan Hauser Gate. The lines were long of course, full of tourists and the motley assortment of off-worlders. With MD-11 in tow I casually strolled over to the nearly empty PLEXIS lane. Who wants to wait behind a bunch of screaming kids for two hours? Not my idea of fun – hence my well-worn PLEXIS pass.

“Next!” called out the BCO, an attractive agent with a red pixie cut. I handed her my pass. My holographic image appeared between us and she eyed me intently.
“You’ve lost six kilos since you were last here Mister Halgrave. Any exotics to declare?”
“Thanks for noticing Sweets. I’ve been working out, part of my last New Year’s resolution. And I declare you’re the most exotic thing I’ve seen in a long time.” I could be really suave when I wanted to.
“That’s Officer Sabine to you Mister Halgrave. Been in space awhile? Better cool your thrusters or I’ll put you in isolation for some ‘special’ attention. And believe me, you won’t like it.”
“Oh I’m sorry Officer Sabine, that was quite rude of me. No exotics to declare.” I could have sworn Mad Dog chirped in laughter at my expense.
“Any alcohol, tobacco or weapons?”
I unholstered my lasegun and set it on the counter along with my license. Officer Sabine checked the power cell and returned it to me curtly.
“Please place your luggage on the scanner bed and stand back.”
She was giving me the full work up now. Normally I breezed through without so much as a “Have a good trip.” Well, it was my own fault for being such a wiseguy. I couldn’t exactly use Mad Dog to, ahem, “persuade” Officer Sabine to let me pass. Not now anyway.
“Mister Halgrave what is this?”
“What is what Officer Sabine?”
“This!”
She held up a yellow rubber ducky taken from the bowels of my travel bag.
The entire port-of-entry station went silent as all eyes turned to observe my treasured childhood artifact. Even Mad Dog seemed to cycle into standby mode.
Then all hell broke loose.
Screaming and running ensued by those waiting in line. Klaxons wailed and red lights strobed. Three more BCO’s grabbed me by the arms and held me in a vice grip. MD-11 was tased and instantly fell to the ground with a resounding clang.
“This, Mister Halgrave,” and she squeaked the rubber ducky vehemently to emphasize her point.
“This is forbidden contraband on the New Vegas colony.”
“What?!”
“You seem shocked Mister Halgrave,” noted Officer Sabine with a smug sense of satisfaction.
I was shocked.
“Perhaps you haven’t read the entire list of items forbidden by PLEXIS pass users.”
“I have to admit, I haven’t. But seriously I…”
“Seriously Mister Halgrave? I don’t think you understand exactly how serious this is. I’m going to let you contemplate the severity of your infraction in a holding cell.”
“But,”
“Oh, and Happy New Year Sweets,” said Officer Sabine as the BCO’s dragged me away.


(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2020
Reviews/critiques welcome

Kalifer wrote: "Mine's up. Lots of elements to weave together. Fun."

Yes, nicely done Kalifer! I liked it!

Tom wrote: "Thank you, C. Took more than 10 minutes, as I received email notification before the thread was posted. (The treasured rubber ducky bit pretty much made the idea inescapable.)

Happy new decade to ..."

Yes, nicely done!!!!!

Joy wrote: "I enjoyed Justin's Christmas story. Congrats!"

Thank you Joy!!