Michele Knight's Blog, page 170

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love: Dare You Ask?

The internet is abuzz this week with news of a test which claims that asking 36 questions plus some deeply meaningful eye contact thrown in for good measure, can make you fall in love with anyone (and presumably them with you). The 36 key questions were originally published by psychologist Arthur Avon who  had the theory that it was possible to make two people fall in love with one another by getting them to share intimate thoughts, feelings and to show their vulnerabilities. He tested his theory on two sets of male and female strangers with the result that six months after the experiment, two of them actually got married! The test which was originally conducted back in 1997 has now re-surfaced when an article appeared in the New York Times written by Professor Mandy Catron who tried it on an acquaintance – and surprise, surprise – they fell in love.

Of course, it could well be argued that perhaps this was destiny in any case and these two had a previous soul contract to connect. The last part of the test requires that both parties silently gaze into each other’s eyes for four minutes – something which Professor Catron describes as: “I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life”.

There’s an old spiritual/self-help adage which is: In your weakness lies your strength and the fact that the 36 questions mean we have to share our weaknesses and vulnerabilities appears to back this up. People respond to openness. However, just a word of warning – the key to this process is the four minutes of looking into each other’s eyes to see the real ‘person’ within – in other words, it requires face-to-face contact. If you were to omit this key part of the process and just ask the questions of someone you had just met on-line it could well foster a false sense of intimacy and closeness which may not actually exist, so please use caution.

Are you brave enough to try? If so, sit down with that potential love interest and ask away as here are the 36 questions. They are also now available as a phone app which you can download. Don’t forget your four minutes of starry-eyed gazing at the end. Even if a romantic connection is not your goal, these questions have been shown to bring people close – and cement friendships. And why not share your story with us? We’ll feature the best ones here on MK!

Set One

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set Two

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set Three

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

 

Three Deadly Love Virus You Need to Detox NOW!

Love is one of the greatest and sometimes hardest soul lessons of all. We are bombarded with images, music and hype around being in a romantic relationship. It is a very powerful meme (thought virus). For those of you familiar with Quantum Creating ®  you already know that having a Meme Detox –  letting go of those insidious and usually negative beliefs we’ve picked up from others, is a key part to reaching our goals! Our thoughts and beliefs shape our future. What you have thought about and believed in the past helped create your life in the present and what you think about today is impacting in the same way on your future too – whether you are aware of it or not. And nowhere do we see the thoughts (or memes) affect us more than in our love lives as it is our beliefs in this area that determine not just who we attract in but how the relationship may turn out. Not only are we influenced by our own thoughts but other people as well as the media can bombard us with their beliefs which can filter in and impact our energy and experience. So, whether we are searching for a partner or just want to improve our current relationship, taking a close look at the beliefs we may be harbouring around love – and having a Meme Detox if necessary, is a major step towards having the kind of relationships we desire – and deserve.

1: All the decent men/women are taken. If you go around thinking that there is no-one out there, all you will be confronted with is validation of this belief. If you do date or meet someone, then chances are they will behave in a way which reinforces this belief or else you’ll not meet anyone at all. Either way – this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ask yourself who told you this? The media? Your single friends? Smug marrieds? The fact that you, a person who is a catch is single, tells you there are quality singles out there – you are not the only one! Sadly, soul contracts between couples change which translates into good people coming out of relationships all the time – and seeking a new partner eventually, or else they too are still searching and have the confidence to wait for the right person to come along.

2: I need to be younger/thinner/more successful/attractive etc to find love. So, what you are saying here is that you are unlovable just the way you are. If you cannot love and accept yourself as a unique soul, then how do you expect anyone else to? I’m not saying we should not take care of ourselves – but first we do this for ourselves – not because we think this will put us at the head of some mythical queue at the end of which we get handed a mate! Also, if you are harbouring these types of memes, then this comes from comparing yourself to others. Comparing ourselves to others in a negative way not only smacks of a lack of self-love but shows we are insecure. When we’re insecure we are more likely to jump into any relationship that comes along – regardless of whether or not the person is good for us or not. Look around you or read success stories on the internet – people of all ages, of all body types, across all professions and circumstances, find love. Love will find you when you are happy to be yourself and are not trying to compare yourself to someone else – or something the media or anyone else tells you to have to be in order to get it. That’s not love – that’s desperation and self-loathing.

3: The path to true love never runs smoothly. This is perhaps the most insidious love meme of them all. It causes smart women and men to hang on in relationships that are clearly going nowhere, and to put up with all kinds of emotional drama and occasionally abuse. Chances are if you’ve been in a relationship that has been characterised by drama, manipulation, being badly treated or the other person being unavailable on some level – either emotionally or because they are involved with someone else, you have bought into this one. It’s a nasty toxic fairy-tale of delusion where you tell yourself that you can 1) either change the person or 2) that one day they are going to see how you’ve stuck with them and realise what a princess or prince you are and that they can’t live without you. While we can say that all relationships require work and communication for love to flourish, relationships are not meant to be hard work. Neither are they meant to be one-sided or filled with arguments, broken promises (they cancelled the date at the last minute yet again) or you having to make all the running. If you have to run after something – it’s not yours. Someone who wants to be with you doesn’t run away or distance themselves. It’s really that simple. Love is not meant to be a rocky road. Once you understand this, you may find instead love is smooth sailing.

If you have been harbouring any of these three deadly love memes – time to replace them with something more positive. There are plenty of wonderful partners out there ready to appreciate you for who you are – and that way, love will be worth the very little effort you have to put in to attract it.

March Monthly Astrology Video With Michele Knight

Your Fortnightly Astrology Video With Michele Knight 23rd February – 9th March 2015

 

Please Vote for us in Soul and Spirit awards!

It’s that time of year again and voting for the Soul and Spirit awards has begun. We were blessed and overwhelmed to win 7 awards last year including Best Psychic company, Best medium organisation, Best Spiritual Website, Best female psychic, Best astrologer and more last year. This year they are changing things slightly so we need your support more than ever. If you love the website and Michele’s videos and free readings please vote for us. I know it can be a pain to click the link and fill it out but we so appreciate it!  Thank you so much for the support.

Lots of love and good vibes

x

Our Psychic Sara shares her psychic story.

Do you fear change and the unexpected?

Say the word ‘change’ to many people and it’s likely to invoke feelings of resistance or even fear. There are only a few others words as loaded and these tend to be words such as ‘uncertainty’, ‘challenges’ and ‘unexpected’.

The fact is, change, uncertainty and challenges are all part of life. There is no way we can avoid encountering them at some point. Now, it’s no wonder that we fear change – especially unexpected changes as we are hardwired to avoid pain and added to this is the fact that ‘unexpected changes’ speak about something that is clearly beyond our control – and nobody likes the idea of being powerless in the face of that.

Seeing as avoiding change or unexpected challenges is going to be impossible even if we were to hide in a blanket for the rest of our lives, we have to re-program ourselves to see the challenges we meet on our soul path journey for what they really are – opportunities to grow. What sets apart the true Soul Warrior and Agent for Change from those who fear challenges is that they accept that sooner or later they will encounter an issue on their path. When this happens they don’t ignore it or try to avoid it, but they have acquired the ability to know that based on how they have handled challenges in the past, they will emerge from whatever the next one brings. They also know that while we cannot always control what happens to us, we can control our responses to it.

Without challenges in our lives, we would never discover what we are capable of. Also, sometimes we have to be the ones to initiate changes in our own lives – even if the thought of them presses a few buttons! Leaving that dead-end job or that relationship you know isn’t going anywhere or is in fact downright abusive, can feel scary, but what’s the alternative? Then there are the instances where we get ‘stuck in a rut’. Yes, things are ‘sort of okay’ but when we do a soul audit we realise that many areas of our life are actually out-of-balance. To bring them back into harmony again, we may have to make some changes – possibly radical ones, and this may require us to leave our comfort zone. (That’s the problem with getting stuck in a rut – it can seem deceptively comfortable!) But outside our comfort zone is where the magic starts to happen – and we need to remember that sometimes the universe will just shove us out of it if we procrastinate and don’t go voluntarily!

Of course sometimes we’re flung into tragic circumstances which feel impossible to navigate. We may find ourselves ill or have a loved one die unexpectedly or a lover leave us. Even in these circumstances we still have power to comfort ourselves, to be our own best friend and to be tender. We can choose how we deal with our thoughts and feelings, most importantly expressing them. We are resilient spirits and can survive the most terrible things but It’s important to seek support and to show ourselves compassion especially in devastating times.

In his book, Creativity, Inc Ed Catmull (President of Pixar and Disney) has this to say about change and uncertainty: ‘Change and uncertainty are part of life. Our job is not to resist them, but to build the capacity to recover when unexpected events occur. If you don’t always try uncover what is unseen and understand its nature, you will be ill-prepared to lead’. Although Ed is referring to creative or business leadership we always need to remember we are the leaders of our own lives and we need to steer ourselves towards successful living not by avoiding changes, but by meeting them with confidence and even initiating them when necessary.

Look back over your life so far and think about how you have handled the unexpected in the past. When you do you will see how much you learned and grew from each experience. Very often what we initially consider a crisis or a disaster turns out over time to be the opposite as it has the effect of course correcting for us when we have strayed too far from our soul journey. So, when a challenge arrives meet it and know you have the ability to be a true Agent for Change and Leader on Your Soul Path. The successful way you’ve dealt with change in the past tells you that you’re more than equipped to deal with it now – and in the future. Your capacity to deal with change defines your capacity to succeed so no matter what you encounter remember – changes are just one stop on the road to success.

Your Weekly Astrology Video With Michele Knight 16th February 2015

Give me my dream now!

How many books on goal manifestation, visualisation, cosmic ordering or making your dream a reality do you have? Chances are even if you have only one or none at all you’ve seen entire sections of bookstores and Amazon devoted to this subject. Not only is it big business for those writing the books (whose sales incidentally ensure that they are least are manifesting their dreams!) – but goal getting has become a serious business as most of these books remind us. You need to spend time getting clear about your goals, describing your goals in great detail and then committing not just to action plans to make those goals a reality but also to carving out time in order to keep visualising them as if they were already real or repeating them to yourself. It’s hardly surprising then that all this starts to feel very much like hard work and why so many of us stop the process as a result.

Here’s one of the secrets I’ve discovered about Quantum Creating and goal manifestation in general. Our goals should be what excites us, what gets our hearts beating faster not just at the thought of attaining our goal but the whole journey towards them! When we think about our goals we should feel as excited as we did as children looking forward to Christmas Day or the first day of summer holidays. Do you? Chances are while the goal itself may have your heart beating faster at the thought of it, the process itself may be dragging you down and what we need to remember is that it is our emotional connection to our goals – not how many times we repeat affirmations – that determines our success in manifesting it!

So, if you have caught the goal blahs – here’s my quick tip for getting yourself out of them and getting not just a head start towards them again but a heart-starter too. First I want you to pick three totally frivolous, fun goals. Leave the big, long term goals such as starting your own business, getting your Master’s degree or sailing solo around the world on the back burner for now. We are going to connect you back to the passion and joy of having dreams and seeing them come true. So, three totally fun and self-indulgent goals that you can’t afford or have right now but which you could realistically have within say three to six months. These can be anything from a pair of Jimmy Choos, a DSLR camera so you can start that photography course, an overseas holiday, a specific designer dress that you love but is way above your price tag, riding lessons, skydiving  – you are not out to impress anyone with this list but it has to be comprised of three things that you would LOVE to have. Imagine for one minute you have a secret Santa or genie who can just go out and get you these three things – whether it’s Christmas or not. Go, on – indulge yourself!

Now you have your three things as usual write them down as if you have them right now. If you can download pictures of them from the internet and create a folder on your computer for them do that or else clip them out of magazines – this just adds to the process. Now, whenever you can look at your goal pictures – it doesn’t have to be every day – perhaps you want to do this whenever you feel your energy is flagging or things are not going the way you’d like, and reconnect to the feeling of joy and fun you know you will experience when you have them! You will be amazed at what happens as either the money manifests for you to tick those items off your wish list or they are offered to you either at a price within your budget or in the case of experiences, even for free. What’s more, as you reconnect to the fact that goals are supposed to be fun and not hard work, you will begin to see this process pay off with your longer term goals too.

So, go on, have fun with your goals and indulge yourself – because life and our dreams aren’t supposed to be serious – and neither is goal getting!

Valentine’s Day: Love is in the Air – Or Is It?

Love is all around us, or so we’re told and there’s no day that seems to echo that sentiment like Valentine’s Day. But for all too many of us, Valentine’s Day can be an all-too-painful reminder that we’re on our own or else just seems to highlight the shortcomings in our current relationship. So, if you’re not feeling the love this Valentine’s Day – or you’re not getting the love you think you want, what can you do?

First, let’s take a look at the whole Valentine’s Day ritual and what it has evolved into. We can trace the history of this festival back to Roman times and Lupercalia – a festival which took place in the period between February 13-15 and the date history tells us Julius Caesar refused to become king of Rome. Now – here’s the interesting thing which astrology students and those of you interested in history and mythology will have already picked up – Lupercalia (from Lupus – in another words the wolf), is a Mars ruled festival and not ruled by Venus as we might think. Now, it may be no coincidence that in 2015, there is a meeting in the skies between Venus and Mars in Aries (Mars’s ruling sign), but to all intents and purposes, the ancient rulership of Valentine’s Day belongs to Mars – a planet known for passion but not for romance!

Now, I’m not for one minute saying that you should blame Mars if your Valentine’s Day plans don’t come up to expectations. However, nowadays when we look at the post-pagan meaning of Valentine’s Day we do seem to have moved away from it. The day was first associated with love in Chaucer’s time and by the 18th century it had already become a day when men expressed their love for women by sending cards, flowers and confectionery. However, in Europe and still to this day a key is often given as it is an invitation to unlock the person’s heart (I personally love this tradition!).

Today however, Valentine’s Day does seem to have become more commercial. Just a quick skim of retail sites on the web and you will find them offering tips to ensure that your Valentine buys you a gift you want – so we are now going far beyond a card, flowers, chocolates or even a special meal – we are being told we should expect a present on top of that! If you are feeling your significant other has not entered into the spirit of Valentine’s Day, please step back and ask yourself if he or she needs a special day to tell you they love you or do they say and show you that in oh-so-many ways all the time? Yes, sometimes forgetting to send a card or not making plans with you can indicate a problem in the relationship but this would also manifest in other ways – not just Valentine’s Day! If your partner is loving and caring then honestly, does taking you out for dinner on a day when restaurants tend to increase their prices anyway or buying you an over-priced bunch of flowers really matter?

If on the other hand you are single this Valentine’s Day perhaps it’s time to connect to the love that is all around you and express it. At its heart Valentine’s Day should be about the love we have to give – not what we expect to receive. And when it comes to expressing the limitless love we have to give away that we all have – do we really need a lover in order to do that? How about telling a family member, a close friend, a mentor or even a pet how much they mean to you? How about smiling at a stranger and wishing them a ‘Good morning’ or complimenting someone on their outfit? It’s all love and here’s the thing – the more love you spread and give away – the more you will receive back! So, for everyone, single, or coupled, make Valentine’s Day a true gift of love – and love will literally be all around you!