Shannon Ables's Blog, page 323
August 5, 2015
Good Grammar Is . . . : I vs. Me
~Palais Garnier, the Opera House in Paris, above, the Grand Foyer~
~Good Grammar Is . . . POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
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August 4, 2015
Outfit of the Week: Black & Brown
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~DVF Kora black tunic (other colors available)~
~Chloe leather knee boots or Cole Haan Carlyle leather boots in chestnut~
~Melissa embellished PVS sandals or Sergio Rossi suede sandals or Paul Andrew zebra-print sandals or N.D.C. Whitney leather sandals~
~Smythson Panama textured-leather shoulder bag~
~J.Crew Shaped Bangle Bracelet~
~Kenneth Jay Lane textured gold-tone earrings~
~Balmain modal and cashmere scarf~
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Style Inspiration: White, Jumpsuits & Denim
Simple style means simple living so that the most important priorities can receive our full attention. I must say, I know that not everyone loves or can wear jumpsuits, but I am a fan. Partly, okay, primarily because they make the decision process minimal and are absolutely beyond comfortable. In today’s Style Inspiration, you will see a handful, and as you will notice, there are many different styles available. And of course, you cannot go wrong with denim, navy and white. Enjoy!
~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
Images: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)(10) (11) (12)
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August 3, 2015
Why Not . . . Design a Happy Life?
“You will be the happiest you can be when you allocate your attention as best as you can.” -Dr. Paul Dolan, author or Happiness by Design
The Simple Sophisticate, episode #50
Much of the happiness we seek and either experience or don’t is solely of our own making. And while a significant life change can make it easier to establish the necessary changes we need to cultivate the happy life we desire such as a new house, a move or a new job, it is absolutely possible to design a happy life right where you are in the present moment.
If indeed you are currently in the middle of a big life change, prior to laying down roots, begin to make a list of what truly makes you happy after reading today’s post and beginning to create ways to establish a lifestyle designed to welcome as much happiness as possible.
However, if you are still going to have the same job and home tomorrow, take a look at the list of 30 ways to design a happy life as is the focus of Dr. Paul Dolan’s book Happiness by Design: Change What You Do, Not How You Think. I am confident that we are all capable of instituting the change we need to cultivate the life we desire. Let’s get started.
1. Cultivate a life of equal parts productivity and pleasure.
2. Let go of what you think should make you happy and begin to recognize what actually does make you happy. (View TSLL mission statement here.)
3. Allocate your attention appropriately to what will truly make you happy.
“What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. Attention is the glue that holds your life together.” Be disciplined about your time and where you spend it. Be disciplined about your thoughts and what you allow yourself to think about. “Your attention is a scarce resource.”
4. Establish situational awareness in your daily routines
In other words establish checklists or routines that cover seemingly very simple information, but if forgotten or overlooked can have disastrous effects.
5. Seek achievement, but not at the cost of health and personal relationships.
In other words, be aware of what you are sacrificing as well as how you will benefit from achieving your goals. Will it be worth it in the long run?
6. Find a career in which you are happy with your boss, pay and daily tasks.
The key is that the career/job is a fit for you and your individual personality, rather than pleasing the external world.
7. Be aware of the truth. Knowing is better than being ignorant. Ignorance is not bliss.
8. Have modest expectations.
Don’t set them too high, don’t set them too low. Be an optimist that has “a contingency plan”.
9. Seek self-improvement for the right reasons
Are you desiring to lose weight to impress someone or our you losing weight so you can feel more comfortable in your own body, improve your overall health and therefore reduce your stress and improve your happiness?
10. Tamp down the inner-critic
Recognize and realize your strengths and weaknesses. Understand you are fallible, imperfect and that will lead to a happier life. Take control of your thoughts; are they helping or hurting in the quest for happiness?
11. Trust your experiences more than you trust your desires.
Often we are terrible predictors of how something will make us feel in the future if we’ve never experienced it.
12. Trust your own experiences more than you trust your beliefs.
Dolan explains the brain as having two systems (although it actually doesn’t), but this idea helps to understand that system 1 is the unconscious mind and system 2 is how we think based on the environment we live in and the experiences we’ve had in the past. If we rely only on our beliefs, we don’t factor in our humanness, the unconscious mind, the mind that will respond very similarly to everyone else in certain situations. Therefore, experiences are much more reliable to determine how we will feel in the future.
13. Find a role model
In Stumbling on Happiness, Dan Gilbert shared that “research teach us that the experiences of other people like [us] are a useful guide to the impact of an event on [us], and often a much more useful guide than [our] own predictions about the impact of that event.”
14. Forget the New Year’s Eve party
Forcing happiness to occur is less likely to make it materialize. So let go of the reins a bit and stop trying too hard to be happy.
15. Consider options briefly, rather than dwelling upon them
While Dolan isn’t recommending making rash decisions, he does suggest briefly contemplating a decision and then returning to it later with a decision.
16. Don’t set rigid deadlines for decisions
While it is recommended to make them rather quickly, trusting your gut and then reassessing after a duration of time, being forced to complete something in a certain amount of time can often force the wrong or far less preferred decision. Let the decision come naturally.
17. Select your social circle carefully
Spend time with people you like, are inspired by and who have your best interest at heart when you seek advice. Behavior science reveals that what we are told matters far less than who it is that is telling us. People worth listening to (good messengers as Dolan calls them) can be trusted, are experts of what they speak and are like you.
18. Set up routines that assist you in living a happier life
Living closer to nature, walking in the morning with your dogs, enjoying hot water with lemon as you read your morning paper, set up routines that are enjoyable and leave you happier (involving both pleasure and purpose).
19. Create defaults that always leave you without regret
Smaller plates, leave your cell phone in your office at night rather than by your bed, turn off your alerts on your phone or choose. Establish systems that happen easily (the power cord for the phone is in the office, the only plates you have are small, etc.).
20. Make commitments that when completed will leave you happy that you attended
Whether it is saying you’ll meet a friend at the gym or scheduling a date for brunch, even if you’re feeling tired Sunday morning, it is easier to go than opt out. Start small, so you’re less likely to opt out.
21. Break commitments when it’s a sunk cost
Dolan defines a sunk cost is something that is gone and you cannot get it back. In other words, the class is already paid for and nonrefundable, but your realize you’ve already learned the information or it’s the wrong class all together, walking out in the middle of it is a commitment worth breaking.
Dolan uses the example of realizing that when out at night, when the first thought of leaving enters his mind, he should heed it rather than ignore it as his happiness decreases immediately after that point.
22. Surround yourself with people who you want to be – and can be – more like.
As much as I am inspired by Olympic athletes, I know I will never have the initiative or desire to train as hard as they do. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good people and wouldn’t be interesting to spend time with occasionally, but rather, in the long scheme of things, surrounding ourselves with people who have similar goals or have achieved goals we believe we can and want to achieve ourselves is better for our overall happiness.
23. Cultivate healthy, helpful habits
Establish ways of doing things that keep you going with the grain (less friction), and that produce the results you wish. Habits involve three parts: the cue, the routine and the reward. #18 talks about the necessity for establishing helpful routines, and when it comes to forming habits, this is the easiest to tweak.
24. Let go of multi-tasking
Productivity, one of the two key components to happiness drastically decreases when we choose to multi-task.
25. Limit technology distractions
A significant cause of unintended multi-tasking is the technology we have in our lives. Set limits of when you will and won’t answer your phone, check email, etc.
26. Think less about money
While we all need to think about money to some extent, putting our financial house in order, etc., there comes a point when we need to stop. Trust your system, and then let go. If you view every minute of the day as money, then you are not living in the moment. If you are worrying about the stock market and how your money is doing, you are not living in the present and your attention has been robbed for the negative effect of worry.
27. Invite new experiences that pique your interest
When we are engaged with new experiences, people, etc, these moments require our full attention which makes it more difficult for our minds to wander. While engaging in new experiences regularly can be very taxing emotionally on our minds, it is something to sprinkle throughout days regularly in doses that we can handle and increase our happiness.
28. Unearth the root of procrastination
Do you really want to perform the task? Is it part of achieving productivity or pleasure? Depending on the balance of each, determine if what you are putting off needs to be done, and if not, why you said yes. And if it needs to be done, recognize the negative effects procrastination has on your overall happiness and refrain from doing it.
29. Do something for others
Maybe it’s not volunteering at the soup kitchen which tends to always be the fall-back idea, but perhaps it is volunteering with a group of people to clean up the river/beach/highway annually or speaking up for others who don’t have a voice.
30. Begin the design process gradually
The world we live in, the work, home and community we reside it plays a large part in our ability to find and maintain a happy life. The key is to be aware and that is where the designing part enters the picture. Paying attention, living consciously, and not wandering blinding through each day is how we design the life that will make us feel happier. Each of us will need different details to make us feel happy, so we must get to know ourselves. Experience, reflecting on these experiences, will guide us to the understanding of who we are. And the equation that has been so perplexing to so many is really quite simple, bring together equal parts pleasure and productivity and you will find the happiness that you seek.
Dr. Paul Dolan’s book Happiness by Design: Change What You Do, Not How You Think is a rich resource. And while much of this may sound simple, I will admit to have overlooked much of it at different points in my life. Whether this post was a wonderful aha moment or a helpful refresher on how to cultivate a happier life, I hope from this day forward to experience just that a happy life by design. Have a wonderful week.
~SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:
~9 Ways Money Can Buy You Happiness
~A Thinking Life = A Happy Life
Petit Plaisir
~ The French Beauty Solution: Time-Tested Secrets to Look and Feel Beautiful Inside and Out by Mathilde Thomas
~click here for more information on the nude Vince tote~
Image: (1)
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August 1, 2015
Au Courant Weekly: August 1, 2015
The Simple Sophisticate, Episode #49
International
~Turkey and the United States have solidified a deal to establish an ISIS-Free zone in northern Syria along the Turkish border as reported by The Washington Post and The New York Times. The news broke late last week when the news of Turkey allowing the United States to use its airbase in Incirlik.
~The 2022 Winter Olympics officially have a location. On Monday Boston, which had been believed to be the International Olympic Committee’s top choice, removed its name from the potential host city list. This decision came in no small part due to the campaigning of the organization No Boston Olympics. Therefore, on Friday, the IOC selected, in a close vote of 44 -40 Beijing, China, over Almaty, Kazakshtan.
National: United States
Secretary of State John Kerry was back on Capitol Hill beginning on Tuesday to testify in front of the House (last week it was the Senate) Foreign Affairs Committee regarding the Iran deal. The U.S. Congress has until mid-September to vote on whether to accept the deal forged by Kerry and other officials with Iran regarding their use of nuclear energy. However, congress must not only have a majority, but a two-thirds majority to defeat a Presidential veto should those who disapprove of the deal wish to kill it (this was a process drafted, voted on and passed by Congress and signed by President Obama).
In Ohio on Wednesday, a former University of Cincinnati police officer, Ray Tensing was indicted on charges of murder and involuntary manslaughter for the death of Samuel DeBose on July 19. The charges were announced after the body-cam video of the officer contradicted his own statements of what happened during the incident in which DeBose was pulled over for a missing front license plate.
Politics
The first Republican debate of the 2016 Presidential election is slated for Thursday August 6th in Cleveland, Ohio, hosted by Fox. What has been the contentious issue since the debate was announced is that only 10 candidates will be invited, and the criterion for determining the top 10 is based on the average of all national polls. Good news for the six that will be left out of the 9pm primetime debate, there will be a 5pm forum for the remaining to have a platform as well. As for who will be on the primetime stage, that has not yet been confirmed.
Science
More trees on your street could lead to a younger you! According to a story shared in The Los Angeles Times earlier this week, a study reported in the Scientific Reports found that adding 10 trees to your street can have the same effect as earning $10,00o more or being seven years younger. Conducted in Toronto, Canada, with 30,000 participants and controlling for variables such as wealth and neighborhood, the findings remained the same.
Good news American eaters and drinkers! A recent study revealed that adults and children have reduced their caloric intake since peaking in 2003. While the study found that Americans have been increasing their calories and portion sizes since the 1970s, it seems that the many studies and findings on obesity and health have made an impact.
Arts
Next Thursday, August 6th will be Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show. After hosting the satirical news program for 16 years, he announced earlier this year that he was stepping down. With the final guests just announced yesterday, the show will be 50 minutes on Comedy Central to allow for “a few extra surprises”. South African Trevor Noah will replace Stewart at the desk of The Daily Show on September 28th.
The End of the Tour, an unauthorized bio-pic of author David Foster Wallace who committed suicide in 2008, is the focus of the film and uses his suicide as the opening scene to set the film. Revered for his writing prowess, Wallace wrote the novel Infinite Jest published in 1996 was cited by Time magazine as among the list of the top 100 novels written from 1923 to 2005. His unfinished novel Pale King which eventually was published in 2011 posthumously was a finalist for the 2012 Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. The film stars Jason Segel (as Wallace) and Jesse Eisenberg as the novelist David Lipsky who when he met Wallace was a writer for The Rolling Stone, interviewing him for a story that would never be published. Based on Lipsky’s 2010 book Although of Course You End of Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace, both Segel and Eisenberg are receiving recognition for their roles. While it probably won’t bring the numbers in like Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation will this weekend, if you’re a fan of Wallace’s (I love this commencement speech) or a writer, you may enjoy it.
Women’s Issues
Rigorous exercise is the best defense against dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, as reported by the same gathering that met in Washington D.C. that we discussed in last week’s episode. How much exercise you may be wondering? Results were seen in participants that exercised three to four times a week between 45 minutes to one hour with the aim of working at between 70% and 80% of aerobic capacity. So make sure to guard your scheduled exercise routine; it is an absolute priority.
Bendite Event of the Week
Debuting in Bend at the TinPan theater (beginning yesterday) is the indie film that has been getting much buzz: Infinitely Polar Bear. Written and directed by Maya Forbes (China Forbes of Pink Martini acclaim’s sister), in which the film is partly based on her childhood and recollection of her father who is diagnosed with maniac depressive disorder (bi-polar). The film takes place in the 1970s in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and stars Mark Ruffalo and Zoe Saldano, both of which are wildly applauded for their performances. (6:30 on Saturday and 5:30 on Sunday)
French Word of the Week
Les ballerines
Bonjour, this is Géraldine from Comme une Française.com. I’m here to share the latest French Word of the Week : a simple very French word for your Simply Luxurious Life in France.
Les ballerines will save your feet in Paris. While you may think about bringing your favorite escarpins (stilettos), we say “escarpins”, to look glamourous in the city of light, you will regret it. Les escarpins are perfect for a night out. But les ballerines will be your best friends during the day.
Une ballerine, litterally a ballerina, is a flat shoe, that is very feminine and functional, and it will take you everywhere. The hallmark brand for ballerines is Repetto, the famous French brand, with dozens of colors and shapes.
They will pair perfectly your good old pair of jeans or your favorite dress. They weigh nothing and take no space in your suitcase. And they’ll add a classic French touch to your outfit, à la Brigitte Bardot.
Trust me, les ballerines will be your feet’s new best friends.
If you want to add more French in your Simply Luxurious Life, join me on Comme une Française.com for weekly video tips to sound French, even to the French! And it’s free.
Thought to Ponder
~Questions about the podcast, the music or to view of list of all of the previous episodes, click here.
~CATCH UP ON AU COURANT WEEKLYS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
~Au Courant Weekly: July 25, 2015
Image: (2)
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July 31, 2015
This & That: No. 169
Book
~Re Jane by Patricia Park
If you are a fan of Jane Eyre, you may be interested in Patricia Park’s contemporary spin on the beloved tale. Released this past May, the heroine is Jane Re, a half-American, half-Korean who lives in Flushing, Queens; however, continuously desiring to escape. And when she does, she welcomes a quandary that only she can solve.
~Stop Acting Rich: . . . And Start Living Like a Real Millionaire by Thomas Stanley
A recommendation by a long-time TSLL reader (thank you Rose!), upon reading the title alone, I knew I’d be interested. There are many misperception of what “rich” looks like, and Thomas Stanley aims to dispel these myths so we can all be financially secure due to financial savvy rather than simply appear that way.
Business
~Dmail
If you use Google Chrome and have gmail account, you can now download Dmail. What is Dmail? Something we’ve all wished we had at some point when it comes to deleting emails we’ve either sent by mistake and wish to retract or a tool for deleting emails with sensitive information (“this email will self-destruct in 10 minutes”, etc).
Francophile Find
~GOOP’s The Classic Paris Guide
From where to stay, eat, shop and places to see Gwyneth Paltrow’s website has an entire section devoted to Paris. Certainly a place to bookmark should you be planning your itinerary. Soon this same guide will be available on their free app – goop City, but for now cities available on the app are London, New York City and Los Angeles. Download here.
Shopping
~Merdinger House of Design
Doron Merdinger, the designer behind the European house of design has teamed up with TSLL to offer readers an exclusive deal. With dinnerware, tableware, stemware and jewelry available of stunning quality and precision of traditional precise skill paired with contemporary design, use promo code This&That to receive 15% your order.
Beautiful tableware is something that always catches my eye when I attend a dinner party, and since less is more when it comes to accessorizing the tablescape, attention to the details is a must. While I prefer classic white plates and dishes, stunning cutlery makes a powerful statement, and having a set that speaks to our signature style is an investment without question. I have my eye on the tea infuser (as it is absolutely unique and lovely) and the Ropes & Sails flatware collection. Oh, and the Jacobs Ladder teapot is quite impressive as well.
~ Nordstrom Sale Wraps Up
The final day of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale will be Sunday August 2nd, so be sure to stop by and take advantage of any sales on items you already know you need. I recently took advantage of it by buying this Rebecca Minkoff tote as did a few other readers as well. Below I have pulled together a few items that are reduced. And notice, that TSLL shopping experience has improved. You can now hover over the item in the picture to learn the price and brand. If you are further interested, simply click on the link to be take to the shopping page. Happy shopping!
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~recipe for Earl Grey & Roasted Blackberry Petit Fours~
A wise woman reminded me this past week that anything worth attaining will take time, and as someone who lives by this philosophy, I wholeheartedly agree. Occasionally, I have to remind myself that so long as I’m taking two steps forward when sometimes I have to take one step back from time to time either due to mistakes or setbacks, I indeed am making progress.
It can become easier than we realize to become unaware of how acclimated we have become to a certain way of living until we are jolted back to reality. The good news to keep in mind is that we cultivated the environment that become so beloved and ingrained previously, so we will no doubt be able to do that again in the new environment.
Currently, I am in the process of finding a new yoga studio, thus touring the many in the Bend area and taking recommendations from the locales. While I’m not an avid yogi, I do enjoy going regularly once a week, seeing familiar faces and being part of a place in which I feel at home. Eventually, I will find this, I have no doubt.
Without question, my sense of gratitude has been riding on high lately amongst all the change I have chosen to incur. So when I read this article “The Structure of Gratitude”, I knew immediately I wanted to share. What we come to expect based on the lives we create for ourselves can often get in the way of the gratitude we express. A worthwhile approach is discussed, and I highly recommend reading.
The upcoming weekend will be warm and lovely as August begins, and as such, I may just slip into a local theater to watch a film I have been eager to watch whilst indulging in the complementary air conditioning. Oh, and then perhaps, to a nursery to add a bit of natural color to the new house. Who knows what else, but so far, I cannot wait to indulge.
Wishing you a lovely weekend, and for the many listeners who tuned in to the premiere episode of Au Courant Weekly last Saturday, thank you tremendously! It was an overwhelming success and I look forward to launching the second episode tomorrow morning (Saturday August 1st). Click here and here to see what listeners are saying. Until tomorrow, bonne journée!
~You remember author Susan Cain? Well, introverts will most likely immediately recognize her name. It was recently reported that she has spearheaded a Quiet Institute as reported by The New York Times. An example article you’ll find, How (and Why) I Meditate
~There has been a lot of discussing on TSLL blog about being an introvert, but what you only have tendencies of an introvert? Read this: Not an Introvert, Not an Extrovert. Maybe You’re an Ambivert from The Wall Street Journal
~Perhaps the cliche is wrong and it’s really Not Lonely At the Top as reported by The New York Times
~Seeking change? Read 7 Reliable Steps to Change Your Life at Any Age
~Top Parisian designer clothing and books all in one location? A dream come true!
~If you haven’t taken a vacation yet this summer (or winter), check out this article to see if you need to get away and in a hurry: 10 Signs You Need a Vacation
~Nothing cheeky or superficial about this list. Quite refreshing, actually . . . 5 Things That Attract the Really Good Guys (or a guy worth dating)
Image: (3)
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July 29, 2015
Decor Inspiration: Comfort & Conversation
I am a lover of wooden, rustic dining room tables that have sturdy legs for stout conversation. So when I discovered interior designer Maureen McDermott’s Sag Harbor home in Hampton’s Cottage & Garden July issue, I found the entire home to be full of comfort, light and escape from the hustle and bustle of the day. View the entire tour here.
Image: HC &G
The post Decor Inspiration: Comfort & Conversation appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
Word of the Week: No. 12
Click below for pronunciation:
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WORDS OF THE WEEK FROM THE ARCHIVES:
Image source
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July 28, 2015
Outfit of the Week: The White Blazer
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A new shopping feature is available on the weekly Outfit of the Week. Simply hover over each item and the price and brand will pop up. If you’d like to click through, simply click on the link to be directed to the shopping sight. Items that don’t have a link will have a link below. Happy shopping!
~Iris & Ink ‘Selena’ Crepe Blazer (52% off)~
~Tart ‘Christie’ striped stretch-jersey top~
~Mih Jeans ‘Olso’ jean, mean-rise, long slim leg (other washes)~
~Salvatore Ferragamo Varina flats (nude), other colors available~
~Tuscany Tote in Cognac (leather)~
~Julie Vos Roman Monogram necklace~
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Style Inspiration: A Mish Mash
The weather, while nearing August, is in limbo at times as I recently woke up to 39 degree (Fahrenheit) temps which means layers were much desired, and while we will have one last month in the states of extreme warmth, it is beginning to be time to think about early fall. So today is a mish mash of summer and early fall style inspiration. Enjoy!
STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
Images: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12)
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