Shannon Ables's Blog, page 321
August 26, 2015
Decor Inspiration: Candace Bushnell’s NYC Apartment
For $2.65 million, Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell will sell you her Greenwich Village apartment. Complete with Mr. Big. Well, sort of. Chris Noth actually lives in the building. But back to the apartment itself, the soft touches of color immediately captured my attention as it is inviting, rather than being overpowering. The ample light and window seat in the living room would be a lovely spot to watch New York City go about its business. Enjoy the tour!
~DECOR INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
All images via Huffington Post
The post Decor Inspiration: Candace Bushnell’s NYC Apartment appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 25, 2015
Style Inspiration: Amal Clooney
When it comes to style a new, but undoubtedly permanent face that will be referred to for many years to come, deservedly, for her understanding of chic, timeless style is Amal Clooney. A London-based Lebanese-British lawyer, activist, and author, she specializes in international law, criminal law, human rights, and extradition, and clearly knows her way around the closet.
While we may not all be wasp thin, tall and have a mane of hair advertisers dream about, there are many take-aways each of us can apply to our wardrobe choices. First and for most, keep it simple. Whether it is a dress or the accessories she selects, she doesn’t make it complicated and rather allows the woman she is shine. Second, find the balance. If she wears signature print pants, she pairs it with a simple solid top. She makes a statement subtly, but isn’t brash or abrasive. And lastly, don’t forget the accessories, whether a wide-brimmed hat, oversized sunnies, a quality tote or statement heels, each item completes the outfit and but doesn’t overwhelm it. Perhaps you will notice a few other style lessons as you peruse. Enjoy!
~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
~Rules of Style Hedvig Opshaug
~Tips for Looking Fantastic Each Day
~Why Not . . . Master the Art of Dressing?
The post Style Inspiration: Amal Clooney appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 24, 2015
Life, Love & Decor: My Interview with Frances Schultz
“The house, whether cottage or castle, stands for who we are, how we live, and how we love ourselves and others.” –Frances Schultz, author of The Bee Cottage Story
The Simple Sophisticate, episode #56
The entire interview with author and blogger Frances Schultz is available exclusively on audio this week, so do be sure to tune in as we discuss happiness, meditation, the gift of truly getting to know yourself and how that translates into decorating your sanctuary. Below is a peek into and around the grounds of Bee Cottage which is located in East Hampton. To see the entire home, including before and after images and detailed description and details from Frances, I highly recommend the book as it is a rich and inspiring resource.
A 1920 stucco house, Frances purchased it in 2008 and restored it to its full grandeur. Her journey initially was the focus of a 9-part monthly column in House Beautiful beginning in 2009 and eventually became the inspiration for the book The Bee Cottage which is the primary focus of our conversation. While her expertise and original intent was to share decor tips and inspiration, the book is part memoir and part decor manual making it all the more worthy of setting aside a morning or afternoon to devour.
~The Bee Cottage, approximately 2300 sq feet, built in 1920~
~one of Frances’ decor suggestions if you have a small kitchen and need to conserve space, hang baskets and/or pots~
~the French daybed mentioned during the episode which is situated in the study/guest room~
~the paint colors of the shutters, but also many other walls and cupboards are shared within the book~
~In 2012 Frances was kind enough to write a guest post for TSLL on how to welcome house guests in style (here is the link). Taking that topic, she expands upon it in her book with even more pictures~
To purchase The Bee Cottage Story: How I Made a Muddle of Things and Decorated My Way Back to Happiness by Frances Schultz, view the three options:
~for a signed copy, visit www.francesschultz.com
~most local bookstores have her book in stock, so be sure to ask or check out the new release shelves
~Purchase on Amazon here.
~Books mentioned during our conversation:
10% Happier: How I tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works by Dan Harris
Madly Chasing Peace: How I Went From Hell to Happy in Nine Minutes a Day by Dina Proctor
The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
Petit Plaisir
Decor tips and inspiration from the pages of Frances Schultz’s The Bee Cottage Story:
first, decide how you will live in the house. list your day-to-day habits; how do you move through the rooms? How are you going to use them? Keep a log of your activities to make sure you are aware of them. Plan to organize your space around what you really do.
crown molding and wainscoting enhance a room’s dimension
turn a random object into a light fixture (a bird cage perhaps?)
rooms shouldn’t be static. One of the ways to keep them lively is to change the art and objects displayed in them, however simple or modest
keep a collection that is sentimental to you (Frances has a collection of clear jars full of sand from her travels)
allow baskets and pots to hang as decor in kitchens or pantries to provide texture and warmth. Simply hang them from a medal rod used for curtains with an “S” hook. This also frees up cabinet space if you have a small kitchen.
install pull-out shelves in your lower cabinets. In Frances’ own words, “It will be life-changing.”
have hand soap and hand cream by the sink in the kitchen. Frances recommends L’Occitane products for quality and packaging.
rooms can be puzzles. If you have a lot of pieces that don’t “fit”, just let them float around in there and don’t think about it for awhile. Sometimes you’ll return and see a piece that fits, and it all comes together.
design your house in a way that supports and validates who you are and what you do
For more specific decor tips, inspiration and a bevy of before and after images, be sure to pick up The Bee Cottage Story
~SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY FROM THE ARCHIVES:
~Authenticity: Finding the Courage to Be Yourself (podcast)
~6 Ways to Create a Chic Sanctuary (podcast)
~Why Not . . . Spring Forward? (Dan Harris’ book 10% Happier is discussed in detail)
Images via Frances Schultz, Trevor Tondro and House Beautiful
The post Life, Love & Decor: My Interview with Frances Schultz appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 22, 2015
Au Courant Weekly: August 22, 2015
The Simple Sophisticate, episode #55
International
Terror on a train to Paris thwarted by two brave Americans. Friday evening on a train traveling from Amsterdam to Paris, two Americans subdued a heavily armed gunman who wounded several passengers before being subdued. One of the Americans was a member of the American military and no confirmation as of Friday if the second hero was as well. Police investigating the scene are quoted in French news media saying “the Americans heard the suspect loading a weapon in one of the toilets and confronted him as he exited.” Passengers interviewed shared that the attack lasted approximately two minutes, and they heard two shots were fired before the gunman was contained.
Bombing in Bangkok, Thailand is believed to involve 10 people. On Monday evening near the Erawan Shrine, an unidentified man, who is believed to be the bomber, killed 22 and injured 120. Believed to have been the work of a pipe bomb left under a bench, the shrine is a huge tourist-draw. Among those killed, “at least seven people from other Asian countries were reported to be among the dead as well as one Briton.” Thai authorities do not believe the attack is linked to to international terrorist groups, although nobody has claimed responsibility as of Friday.
National: United States
Wildfires in the west have burnt nearly one million acres this season and on Wednesday three firefighters in Washington lost their lives to the flames. The Twisp fire located in north central Washington claimed the lives of three firefighters after their vehicle crashed. Four other firefighters were badly burned and injured. In Oregon, the loss of 36 homes near John Day to a fire that is still only 10% contained accounts for the most homes lost in Oregon to a wildfire since the Great Depression.
Politics
In Atlanta, Georgia, President Jimmy Carter announced on Thursday to the press about the state of his cancer diagnosis. Having cancer removed from his liver three weeks ago, it was discovered that the melanoma cancer had moved to four spots in his brain. He announced with a resolute conviviality and state of gratitude that radiation treatments would begin later that day, which his doctor shared involve cutting edge technology. He spoke candidly about his Presidency when asked to reflect and appeared to be comforting with his poise the journalists as his upbeat spirit was encouraging.
Science
Starbucks and Panera after pressure from blogger Food Babe, announced they will be using real pumpkin in their popular Pumpkin Spice lattes, rather than artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners or preservatives. Starbucks announced that September 8th would be the official release date and Panera September 9th.
Homeownership is being delayed for millennials. As reported by the Associated Press on Monday, the burden of student debt and an uncertain career permanence, millennials (ages 34-18) are renting for six years before buying their first home compared to 2.6 years of those in the 1970s as cited by Zillow. The median age at which millennials are buying their first home is 33 as a generation ago, it was 30. However, the study revealed that the interest is still very high when it comes to being a homeowner, as evidenced by the fact that when they begin to have children, they also seriously begin to look for a home.
Arts
Lily Tomlin is back on the big screen in Grandma which hits theaters in limited release this weekend. Starring as, well, you guessed it, a grandmother, Tomlin’s character is a lesbian who has recently lost her partner, and as only Tomlin can do best, she is feisty, fun and determined to help her granddaughter who finds herself pregnant, albeit in unconventional ways. She’s independent and resolute in how she goes about her life, until someone, Sage, her 18-year-old granddaughter, played by Julia Garner, seeks her out for help. Taped over 19 days, producer and director Paul Weitz’s film served as the closing night film at Sundance earlier this year. Oh, just to let you know, Sam Elliott also is part of the cast.
Women’s Stories of Interest
Two Women Graduate from Army Ranger School. Capt. Kristen Griest and 1st Lt. Shaye Haver graduated on Friday at Fort Benning, Georgia, making them the first women soldiers to complete the Army’s most difficult training regimen. After 62 rigorous days of training which began with 381 men and 19 women, 96 soldiers are still standing, including these two women. Both women are graduates of the U.S. military Academy at West Point, and a third woman is currently in the mountain phase of the Ranger School and may still complete the training. While participating in graduating ceremonies neither woman will be sent into combat roles in the immediate future as the Department of Defense is still determining which roles involving direct combat women can be involved in.
On Tuesday, the FDA approved the first libido pill for women, Addyi (pronounced ADD-ee) which is actually approved to treat a lagging or absent libido in either sex. Advised not to be used with alcohol as it can increase the potential side effect of low blood pressure and fainting, a senior FDA official stated, they are “committed to supporting the development of safe and effective treatments for female sexual dysfunction.” Other possible side effects are nausea, dizziness and sleepiness. And evidentially, the medical market has confidence as Valeant announced they would be purchasing Sprout Pharmeceuticals, the maker of Addyi, for $1 billion.
Bendite Event of the Week
Shakespeare comes to Bend this weekend with what is believed to be Shakespeare’s first play, The Comedy of Errors. Lay It Out Events and Portland’s Northwest Classical Theatre Company present Shakespeare in the Park with three performances. One was last night in Drake Park (which I attended, check out my Instagram feed), followed by a second at the same location tonight at 7pm. The final performance will be held at the Amphitheater in Sunriver. Tickets, as of Friday, were still available, ranging from $22-$75 and can be purchased at the gate, online or at Douglas Fine Jewelry in downtown Bend.
French Word of the Week
Le pain perdu
Bonjour, this is Géraldine from Comme une Française.com. I’m here to share the latest French Word of the Week: a simple, very French word for your Simply Luxurious Life in France.
Known as French toast abroad, there’s no such thing as “pain français” in France. We call it “le pain perdu” : the lost bread. Why? Because it was originally made with bread that was too dry to eat. We call this bread “pain rassis”. And people didn’t want to lose the bread by throwing it in the bin.
Le pain perdu is made of “des tranches de pain” dipped in a mix of “des oeufs” (eggs), “du lait” (milk) and “du sucre” . It’s served for “le petit déjeuner” or “le goûter”. And that’s it. If you’re more adventurous, feel free to add cinamon “de la cannelle” or even replace the bread by “de la brioche”.
It’s simple and delicious, and definitely worth a try. The most difficult part may be not eating the bread during the days it needs to dry. It’s hard to resist good French bread!
If you want to add more French to your Simply Luxurious Life, join me on Comme une Française.com for weekly video tips to sound French, even to the French! And it’s free.
Thought to Ponder
Image: (1)
The post Au Courant Weekly: August 22, 2015 appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 21, 2015
This & That: No. 172
Art
~Gods & Heroes Exhibit at the Portland Art Museum
The summer art exhibit to visit in Portland, Oregon, this summer is nearing a close. Having opened in June and running through September 13th, Gods & Heroes: Masterpieces from the École des Beaux-Arts, Paris, brings to museum-goers more than 140 works of art from as early as the seventeenth century Parisian artists through the nineteenth century. With the title of the exhibit, Gods & Heroes the themes focus on courage, sacrifice, and death, as well as “the ways that changing political and philosophical systems affected the choice and execution of these subjects”. Here are just a few of the artists who are included: Jacques-Louis David, Jean-Honoré Fragonard, Anne-Louis Girodet, and Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres; sculpture by Antoine-Louis Barye, Jean-Baptiste Carpeaux, and François Rude.
The museum is open each day of the week except Mondays and admission is $15 per adult, $12 for seniors (55+ and college students and free if you are a member or a child under age 17. Have a quick peek at the exhibit below:
Cooking
~Chef’s Planet’s All Purpose Cruet
Infinitely desirous of stylish, yet functional decor in my home as not to clutter, but rather enhance in both arenas, I was blown-away by my new EVOO dispenser. After popping into a local kitchen shop, Kitchen Complements, I discovered Chef’s Planet’s all-purpose cruet. Beautifully designed, I am saving up for one more for my balsamic vinegar, as there is no drip and beautiful design. (Other styles and sizes here.)
~recipe for cantaloupe and cucumber salad~
Film
~She’s Funny That Way
Critics may not be going mad about Peter Bogdanovich film She’s Funny That Way, which he also directed, but I am ecstatically curious and think it will be a delight to watch. Being released today to limited theaters involving an all-star cast, the film has been in the works for nearly ten years. Three’s Company actor John Ritter was originally the man envisioned for the lead male role that Owen Wilson now inhabits, but unfortunately that was not meant to be. However, if you loved Ritter’s innocent, playful humor, the film is one I think you will enjoy.
The comedy captures the behind-the-scenes drama of a Broadway play that is endless as who is sleeping with whom and why is hard to keep up with, but infinitely hilarious. Jennifer Aniston again appears to shine, stunner Imogen Poots is caught in the middle, former SNL star Kathryn Hahn and many more recognizable names grace the screen. Put it on your “Must-Watch” list and perhaps you will be lucky enough to enjoy it in theaters this weekend.
Shopping
~Brooks Brother’s wrinkle free broadcloth PJs
Men’s pajamas. For me, I have a hard time finding pajamas without pink trim or pinstripes when it comes to finding a classic white pajama. So I’ve learned that shopping in the men’s department is the perfect fix. I purchase size small and with my long legs and broad shoulders, it works out beautifully. Brooks Brother’s wrinkle free pajamas were recently featured in The Wall Street Journal and for under $100, I couldn’t resist. There are many other options, and there is a women’s selection as well, just not wrinkle-free.
~Theory Amitara Navy Silk Wrap Midi Dress
Okay, navy lovers. I had the opportunity to purchase this Theory dress last spring on sale, and thankfully it is available again, reduced 55%. Buy your true size and love the feel against your skin, but also the versatility. I’ve worn it to work and for evenings out. It is a midi dress, so it will hit below the knee, but it is a classic fit. Enjoy!
Television
~Documentary Now!
If you have been missing your Saturday Night Live during the summer months, channel IFC may have the ideal fix. Former SNL alums Bill Hader, Fred Armisen and Seth Meyers are teaming up for a project they have been vying to do for quite some time. Documentary Now! premiered last night (Thursday) on IFC at 10pm and will be offering six episodes in its first season. Parodying well-known world-renowned documentaries, the series has already been picked up for a second season. In front of the screen will be Hader and Armisen, hosting the show will be Dame Helen Mirren with her ideal tongue-in-cheek British jest and Seth Meyers will remain behind the camera as the executive producer. Intrigued? Watch the entire first episode for free here.
~recipe for Blueberry Crumble Ice Cream Slice~
The last few weekends in August often are the sweetest, as we are savoring what summer has produced and enjoying delightfully warm, but not extreme weather. Knowing that the everyday routine is about to begin, these days are appreciated all the more. And so I find myself taking one last mini-vacation to the coast before school begins. The boys and I will be packing up and impatiently waiting to feel the sand between our toes (and paws). Don’t worry, the blog will continue its daily postings, so inspiration will be readily available when you wish to stop by. 
August 20, 2015
Decor Inspiration: A Provence Estate
The French countryside has always garnered my attention when I read about it in books such a Peter Mayle caper or discover images of the expansive lavender fields in Provence. So, it should come as no surprise that when I happened upon Ginny Magher’s Provence farmhouse, I stopped, gazed and gawked. Originally gracing the pages of Veranda in September 2007, it is included in the decor book The Houses of Veranda: The Art of Living Well which was published in 2012. With the help of architect and contractor Bruno Lafourcade who was spotlighted in The New York Times in 2006 along with the details of Magher’s renovation of the 14-room farmhouse, in approximately one year, this run-down mas (the real estate term generally used to describe Provençal farmhouse properties) was reformed to grand style. Enjoy the tour of Mas de Baraquet inside and out . . .




~DECOR INSPIRATIONAL POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
~French-Inspired Bathroom Remodel
Images via Veranda and Cote de Texas
The post Decor Inspiration: A Provence Estate appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 19, 2015
Good Grammar Is . . . : Dashes & the Hyphen
~Altuzarra Spring 2015 collection from last year’s Spring 2015 NYFW~
~A movie worth watching, The Way We Were~
The confusion with the three “dashes” can be confusing, but after viewing grammar expert Mary Norris of The New Yorker in her regular “Comma Queen” series (view the video below), it became much clearer. Also, if you are wondering, as I was, where the Em Dash is on your computer, it isn’t. Below are instructions for how to create it in your next document should you wish to:
The em-dash can be created on the PC by using holding down the ALT key and typing 0151 on the numeric keypad. Only the numbers on the right hand keypad do this, not the numbers above the letters.
On the Mac, press Shift-Option and the minus key to make en em-dash.
You can use — in HTML to add the em-dash to a website.
~GOOD GRAMMAR IS . . . Posts from the Archives:
The post Good Grammar Is . . . : Dashes & the Hyphen appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 18, 2015
Outfit of the Week: High-Waisted & Fabulous
[image error]
JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.
~Club Monaco Tramelli Silk Shirt~
~Club Monaco’s Campbell Grass Necklace~
~Le Frame Le High Flare Jeans or Club Monaco’s McGuire Majorelle Flare jean~
~Sam Edelman nude slingback pumps~
~Vince signature collection Stampede Croc baby crossbody bag (save 15% on the entire VINCE website thru 8/22 with promo code T9L2D3W1)~
~OUTFITS OF THE WEEK FROM THE ARCHIVES:
The post Outfit of the Week: High-Waisted & Fabulous appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
Style Inspiration: Summer Sizzle
Summer has a few more weeks allowing for us to revel in the outfits that can only be most ideal for the warmest months of the year. From open backs, simple v-neck camis and wide brimmed straw hats, be sure to make the most of your summer wardrobe before the heat slips away . . .





~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
Images: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13)
The post Style Inspiration: Summer Sizzle appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
August 17, 2015
How to Deal with Toxic People
“Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life, you will never grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so YOU can grow.” – Anonymous
~The Simple Sophisticate podcast, episode #54
Toxic weeds, toxic chemicals, toxins in our bodies, each of these entities are labeled as such to designate their ability to negatively effect the environment around them. The label of toxic is an indicator that it cannot be changed, no matter how badly we wish to reform it, tweak it and coddle it. The same can be said for toxic people.
All of us have or will in the future encounter a toxic person. They can be the stranger on the street we will never see again, but the interaction leaves our minds reeling and our confidence depleted, or it can be someone we once thought to be a friend or even someone we are related to. Work too can bring toxic people into our lives in which we have less control regarding the interactions; however, with the proper tools each of us can effectively maneuver and handle these toxic people when they pop up into our lives unexpectedly or are people we cannot completely physically eradicate from our lives.
Today, discover 10 ways to continue striving for and attaining your true potential no matter what toxicity you encounter.
1. Limit Interaction
Once you’ve determined, the person is not someone you wish to continue a relationship with, but may see from time to time or regularly such as at the workplace, make the conscious decision to limit spending time with them. Politely decline their invitations and eventually they will no longer continue to ask, select to work with people who add value to any collaboration, and use the most powerful one word sentence when it comes to setting boundaries, “No”. Don’t waiver. Refrain from being nice and putting yourself in a position that leaves you drained and/or disrespected. Simply say “No.”
2. Shift Your Thoughts About Them
Marianne Williamson shared with Oprah a few years ago an intriguing idea about how to deal with people who have betrayed you. And without question, someone who betrays you, promises their loyalty until it is inconvenient for them and destroys your trust or someone who hurts you is a toxic person. She suggests in the video below to stop spending time and energy being angry and instead pray for them, pray for their happiness.
Initially, such a course of action sounds absurd, and Oprah is shocked as well until Williamson explains. The purpose in praying (or meditating, whichever works best for you) is to shift our mind and actually has nothing to do with the other person. She states that by doing so, either one of two things will happen: either the person will change or the person praying eventually won’t care anymore, thus it is no longer occupying a space in our minds. Either way you win.
3. Master Your Emotions
One of the destructive aspects of a toxic person is that they seem to masterfully know how to push our emotional buttons. They know our Achilles’ heel, they know our sacred cows and will attack them to gain control. How? Because we lose control when we allow our emotions to take control of our actions. In other words, rather than allowing our emotions to drive our actions, we can feel angry, hurt, betrayed, recognize how and why we’re feeling, but we then need to gather up the reins and be able to think rationally, “What is the best way to act in the situation to extract the best outcome?”
When you can master your emotions, no one can have control over you. In other words, the toxic person loses their power and often will either, sadly, find someone else who isn’t as strong or simply stop.
4. Don’t Get into the Arena with Them
Perhaps the first time you engaged with someone you now define as toxic, you had no idea. In fact, you approached them as you approach anyone, politely, with a friendly smile and with a curiosity to get to know them cordially. However, you quickly realize, the person doesn’t not behave logically for reasons you should not try to deduce as again it will waste your energy, and any common sense reasoning is falling on deaf ears. Walk away. Do not try to reason with them. Do not try to win the battle because believe it or not, it is a war you will never be able to win.
This is hard to do because you don’t want to assume or jump to conclusions, but with time and experience around people, you will be better able to ascertain that every once in awhile there will be people that you must not engage with. Keep Mark Twain’s words of advice in mind and you’ll be just fine, “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
5. Shift Your Approach When Interactions Occur
A handful of years ago, I received advice from my mentor teacher that I still adhere to to this day when it comes to dealing with people who will not change and therefore never allow a discussion to allow the relationship to improve or grown. Be it family members or friends, when engaged in a discussion that involves a tense topic, treat them like you would a difficult parent at conferences: act professional, remove the emotion, offer common sense solutions (whether they take it or not), but then let go, remove yourself. It may never be something you will be able to resolve, and you will have to simply move on to the next relationship, friend, colleague or someone who is able to converse with reason, allowing of growth.
6. Set Boundaries Preemptively
The quote is often uttered, and it is to be trusted, that we teach people how to treat us. In other words, when we initially meet someone, our self-respect is either clear, absent or somewhere in between. A respectful person wouldn’t take advantage of this, but a toxic person will determine rather quickly if they see someone who can be messed with or not.
When we set clear boundaries for ourselves, determining what we need in our lives to thrive and what we cannot tolerate, we are showing ourselves self-respect. When someone crosses a boundary, perhaps the first offense is simply in the form of speaking up. After all, if we don’t speak up it will be assumed that the behavior was okay. But if the boundary is crossed again, we must exude strength and stand up firmly, perhaps even walking away entirely.
The gift of setting boundaries prior to any infringement is that we teach those around us how to treat us. Just like a puppy or a child, how can they know what to do if no one shows them the proper course.
7. Don’t Rely on the Response from Others to Dictate Your Happiness
Even if we master all of the tools discussed here today, we will still run into toxic people from time to time, but if we’re mentally strong such occurrences will not ruin our day. It is when we happen upon a toxic person and the interaction invades our thoughts, poisons our potential happiness that the toxic person has won.
We need instead to not be dependent upon what others say about us, what others think about us because if we do, we hand over our happiness to them as well. If you approve, if you truly believe that you are doing what is best for you and no one is being harmed, then revel in your strength to follow your path, but do not be deterred by those who always see the obstacles or discourage your decision simply because they don’t know what it feels like to reach and eventually attain.
8. Learn and Don’t Repeat
Often toxic people enter our lives to expose something within us that needs to improve or be repaired. Rather than dwell on the situation or the person, take a moment and ask, what can I learn, how could I have handled the situation better or avoided it all together? Often there is a lesson waiting to be discovered. Now be sure to put into use your new found aha.
Another point about learning, the simple saying of forgive, but don’t forget absolutely applies to toxic people. You most certainly should forgive for your own mental health, but to forget is to open yourself up to more hurt down the road.
9. Gain Perspective
While whining about the situation or the person that is causing you angst is not productive, it is a good idea to share your experience with someone to see it from a different perspective. Perhaps you were wrong and they aren’t toxic at all. Or perhaps, while yes, they are toxic, you could have handled the situation better. By gaining a wider perspective, you are attempting to learn the larger lesson so that the lesson doesn’t keep repeating itself.
10. Solve and Move Forward
In order to successfully handle toxic people, focus on the solution, not the problem. Remember, most likely you are not going to change them or even reason with them, but you can decide how you will change or improve to better handle future interactions. Once you have a plan in place, put it into practice and place your energies on more fruitful projects, people and experiences. In other words, dwelling is wasted energy.
Toxicity robs us of our joy, reduces our creative energies and depletes our ability to reach our full potential. And while we cannot control everything in our day to day lives, we can control much more than we realize. Once you begin to use these tools, you will begin to find more energy, less stress and before you know it a more fulfilling life. While such a practice must be a conscious effort, it is by living consciously that not only do we know how to navigate the situations and people we wish we didn’t have to encounter, we also know how to make the most of those we thoroughly enjoy having in our lives.
SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:
~19 Ways to master the Art of Conversation
~Why Not . . . Create a Healthy Social Circle?
~Why Not . . . Refrain from Judging Others?
Petit Plaisir
~Monochromatic Bouquets
A simple decision that immediately brings a touch of nature along with a touch of chic style is a monochromatic bouquet. No matter what your favorite flower or color, keep it simple and instantly brighten your day. Barefoot Contessa suggests making a monochromatic bouquet involving different types of flowers, but all offering the same hue. This is a lovely idea especially when there aren’t enough of your favorite varietal to fill a vase. Below are a few images I’ve captured in my own everyday routine.
~Listen to Episode #54 of The Simple Sophisticate here, or download on iTunes.
Image: (1)
The post How to Deal with Toxic People appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.









































