Shannon Ables's Blog, page 319
August 19, 2015
Good Grammar Is . . . : Dashes & the Hyphen
~Altuzarra Spring 2015 collection from last year’s Spring 2015 NYFW~
~A movie worth watching, The Way We Were~
The confusion with the three “dashes” can be confusing, but after viewing grammar expert Mary Norris of The New Yorker in her regular “Comma Queen” series (view the video below), it became much clearer. Also, if you are wondering, as I was, where the Em Dash is on your computer, it isn’t. Below are instructions for how to create it in your next document should you wish to:
The em-dash can be created on the PC by using holding down the ALT key and typing 0151 on the numeric keypad. Only the numbers on the right hand keypad do this, not the numbers above the letters.
On the Mac, press Shift-Option and the minus key to make en em-dash.
You can use — in HTML to add the em-dash to a website.
~GOOD GRAMMAR IS . . . Posts from the Archives:
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August 18, 2015
Outfit of the Week: High-Waisted & Fabulous
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~Club Monaco Tramelli Silk Shirt~
~Club Monaco’s Campbell Grass Necklace~
~Le Frame Le High Flare Jeans or Club Monaco’s McGuire Majorelle Flare jean~
~Sam Edelman nude slingback pumps~
~Vince signature collection Stampede Croc baby crossbody bag (save 15% on the entire VINCE website thru 8/22 with promo code T9L2D3W1)~
~OUTFITS OF THE WEEK FROM THE ARCHIVES:
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Style Inspiration: Summer Sizzle
Summer has a few more weeks allowing for us to revel in the outfits that can only be most ideal for the warmest months of the year. From open backs, simple v-neck camis and wide brimmed straw hats, be sure to make the most of your summer wardrobe before the heat slips away . . .
~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
Images: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13)
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August 17, 2015
How to Deal with Toxic People
“Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life, you will never grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so YOU can grow.” – Anonymous
~The Simple Sophisticate podcast, episode #54
Toxic weeds, toxic chemicals, toxins in our bodies, each of these entities are labeled as such to designate their ability to negatively effect the environment around them. The label of toxic is an indicator that it cannot be changed, no matter how badly we wish to reform it, tweak it and coddle it. The same can be said for toxic people.
All of us have or will in the future encounter a toxic person. They can be the stranger on the street we will never see again, but the interaction leaves our minds reeling and our confidence depleted, or it can be someone we once thought to be a friend or even someone we are related to. Work too can bring toxic people into our lives in which we have less control regarding the interactions; however, with the proper tools each of us can effectively maneuver and handle these toxic people when they pop up into our lives unexpectedly or are people we cannot completely physically eradicate from our lives.
Today, discover 10 ways to continue striving for and attaining your true potential no matter what toxicity you encounter.
1. Limit Interaction
Once you’ve determined, the person is not someone you wish to continue a relationship with, but may see from time to time or regularly such as at the workplace, make the conscious decision to limit spending time with them. Politely decline their invitations and eventually they will no longer continue to ask, select to work with people who add value to any collaboration, and use the most powerful one word sentence when it comes to setting boundaries, “No”. Don’t waiver. Refrain from being nice and putting yourself in a position that leaves you drained and/or disrespected. Simply say “No.”
2. Shift Your Thoughts About Them
Marianne Williamson shared with Oprah a few years ago an intriguing idea about how to deal with people who have betrayed you. And without question, someone who betrays you, promises their loyalty until it is inconvenient for them and destroys your trust or someone who hurts you is a toxic person. She suggests in the video below to stop spending time and energy being angry and instead pray for them, pray for their happiness.
Initially, such a course of action sounds absurd, and Oprah is shocked as well until Williamson explains. The purpose in praying (or meditating, whichever works best for you) is to shift our mind and actually has nothing to do with the other person. She states that by doing so, either one of two things will happen: either the person will change or the person praying eventually won’t care anymore, thus it is no longer occupying a space in our minds. Either way you win.
3. Master Your Emotions
One of the destructive aspects of a toxic person is that they seem to masterfully know how to push our emotional buttons. They know our Achilles’ heel, they know our sacred cows and will attack them to gain control. How? Because we lose control when we allow our emotions to take control of our actions. In other words, rather than allowing our emotions to drive our actions, we can feel angry, hurt, betrayed, recognize how and why we’re feeling, but we then need to gather up the reins and be able to think rationally, “What is the best way to act in the situation to extract the best outcome?”
When you can master your emotions, no one can have control over you. In other words, the toxic person loses their power and often will either, sadly, find someone else who isn’t as strong or simply stop.
4. Don’t Get into the Arena with Them
Perhaps the first time you engaged with someone you now define as toxic, you had no idea. In fact, you approached them as you approach anyone, politely, with a friendly smile and with a curiosity to get to know them cordially. However, you quickly realize, the person doesn’t not behave logically for reasons you should not try to deduce as again it will waste your energy, and any common sense reasoning is falling on deaf ears. Walk away. Do not try to reason with them. Do not try to win the battle because believe it or not, it is a war you will never be able to win.
This is hard to do because you don’t want to assume or jump to conclusions, but with time and experience around people, you will be better able to ascertain that every once in awhile there will be people that you must not engage with. Keep Mark Twain’s words of advice in mind and you’ll be just fine, “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
5. Shift Your Approach When Interactions Occur
A handful of years ago, I received advice from my mentor teacher that I still adhere to to this day when it comes to dealing with people who will not change and therefore never allow a discussion to allow the relationship to improve or grown. Be it family members or friends, when engaged in a discussion that involves a tense topic, treat them like you would a difficult parent at conferences: act professional, remove the emotion, offer common sense solutions (whether they take it or not), but then let go, remove yourself. It may never be something you will be able to resolve, and you will have to simply move on to the next relationship, friend, colleague or someone who is able to converse with reason, allowing of growth.
6. Set Boundaries Preemptively
The quote is often uttered, and it is to be trusted, that we teach people how to treat us. In other words, when we initially meet someone, our self-respect is either clear, absent or somewhere in between. A respectful person wouldn’t take advantage of this, but a toxic person will determine rather quickly if they see someone who can be messed with or not.
When we set clear boundaries for ourselves, determining what we need in our lives to thrive and what we cannot tolerate, we are showing ourselves self-respect. When someone crosses a boundary, perhaps the first offense is simply in the form of speaking up. After all, if we don’t speak up it will be assumed that the behavior was okay. But if the boundary is crossed again, we must exude strength and stand up firmly, perhaps even walking away entirely.
The gift of setting boundaries prior to any infringement is that we teach those around us how to treat us. Just like a puppy or a child, how can they know what to do if no one shows them the proper course.
7. Don’t Rely on the Response from Others to Dictate Your Happiness
Even if we master all of the tools discussed here today, we will still run into toxic people from time to time, but if we’re mentally strong such occurrences will not ruin our day. It is when we happen upon a toxic person and the interaction invades our thoughts, poisons our potential happiness that the toxic person has won.
We need instead to not be dependent upon what others say about us, what others think about us because if we do, we hand over our happiness to them as well. If you approve, if you truly believe that you are doing what is best for you and no one is being harmed, then revel in your strength to follow your path, but do not be deterred by those who always see the obstacles or discourage your decision simply because they don’t know what it feels like to reach and eventually attain.
8. Learn and Don’t Repeat
Often toxic people enter our lives to expose something within us that needs to improve or be repaired. Rather than dwell on the situation or the person, take a moment and ask, what can I learn, how could I have handled the situation better or avoided it all together? Often there is a lesson waiting to be discovered. Now be sure to put into use your new found aha.
Another point about learning, the simple saying of forgive, but don’t forget absolutely applies to toxic people. You most certainly should forgive for your own mental health, but to forget is to open yourself up to more hurt down the road.
9. Gain Perspective
While whining about the situation or the person that is causing you angst is not productive, it is a good idea to share your experience with someone to see it from a different perspective. Perhaps you were wrong and they aren’t toxic at all. Or perhaps, while yes, they are toxic, you could have handled the situation better. By gaining a wider perspective, you are attempting to learn the larger lesson so that the lesson doesn’t keep repeating itself.
10. Solve and Move Forward
In order to successfully handle toxic people, focus on the solution, not the problem. Remember, most likely you are not going to change them or even reason with them, but you can decide how you will change or improve to better handle future interactions. Once you have a plan in place, put it into practice and place your energies on more fruitful projects, people and experiences. In other words, dwelling is wasted energy.
Toxicity robs us of our joy, reduces our creative energies and depletes our ability to reach our full potential. And while we cannot control everything in our day to day lives, we can control much more than we realize. Once you begin to use these tools, you will begin to find more energy, less stress and before you know it a more fulfilling life. While such a practice must be a conscious effort, it is by living consciously that not only do we know how to navigate the situations and people we wish we didn’t have to encounter, we also know how to make the most of those we thoroughly enjoy having in our lives.
SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:
~19 Ways to master the Art of Conversation
~Why Not . . . Create a Healthy Social Circle?
~Why Not . . . Refrain from Judging Others?
Petit Plaisir
~Monochromatic Bouquets
A simple decision that immediately brings a touch of nature along with a touch of chic style is a monochromatic bouquet. No matter what your favorite flower or color, keep it simple and instantly brighten your day. Barefoot Contessa suggests making a monochromatic bouquet involving different types of flowers, but all offering the same hue. This is a lovely idea especially when there aren’t enough of your favorite varietal to fill a vase. Below are a few images I’ve captured in my own everyday routine.
~Listen to Episode #54 of The Simple Sophisticate here, or download on iTunes.
Image: (1)
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August 15, 2015
Au Courant Weekly: August 15, 2015
The Simple Sophisticate, episode #53
International
On Monday, residents of an east London neighborhood were alerted to a bomb in the vicinity – a German bomb from WWII that is. At a nearby construction site, a large undetonated bomb was discovered Monday afternoon resulting in a temporary evacuation. During the Blitz, Germans dropped more than 30,000 bombs on London in three short, yet unsettling, angst-ridden months. On Tuesday, the 500 pound aerial bomb was defused and residents were allowed to returned home.
National: United States
The 39th United States President, Jimmy Carter, announced earlier this week that he has cancer which has spread and will be adjusting his schedule accordingly. Carter, the longest living former President in history, now at the age of 90 is quite active. While there is a history of pancreatic cancer in his family, it is not clear what type of cancer Carter has.
Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee, Frank Gifford, and husband of Today Show host Kathie Lee Gifford died suddenly on Sunday morning of natural causes at the age of 84 in Connecticut. Married for nearly 29 years to Kathie Lee, he played his entire NFL career with the New York Giants and upon retiring joined the Monday Night Football program in its second season in 1971. He remained a host of the program until 1998. He is survived by his wife, their two children Cody and Cassidy and three children from his first marriage Jeff, Kyle and Victoria.
Politics
Democratic Presidential nominee Bernie Sanders made stops on the west coast this past weekend, and while due to protestors of the Hands Up United movement in Seattle he chose to not speak, he attracted nearly 19,000 and then 27,000 in Portland and Los Angeles respectively. The Vermont Senator repeatedly called for a “grass-roots political organization” discussing issues with the crowds such as universal health care, legal rights for undocumented immigrants, and higher minimum wages.
On Wednesday, Hillary Clinton volunteered her personal server, without subpoena to the FBI. The FBI is determining whether emails may have been backed up on another machine as the state department investigates whether classified information was handled on her personal server. The investigation is not criminal, but rather to determine whether classified information was exposed due to the use of her personal server. Bloomberg News reported on Friday that by obtaining the server the government will be able to learn whether or not “private communications thought to be deleted and evidence as to whether the device was hacked . . . or it could turn up nothing.”
On Monday, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced a 10 year plan to make higher education more affordable. In Exeter, New Hampshire, Clinton’s $350 billion plan to curb student loan debt and the rising cost of college would include “about $175 billion in grants going to states that guarantee that students would not have to take out loans to cover tuition at four-year public colleges and universities.”
Science
Repetitive negative thinking can have damaging health effects. The Wall Street Journal reported that professors from the University of Oxford and the University of Exeter found that people who “worry uncontrollably or ruminate may practice an important mechanism underpinning psychological disorders, such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse, and may even make them worse.” Solutions? Mindfulness, “in which people learn to observe but not judge or evaluate themselves”, and problem-solving rather than dwelling on the problem.
Arts
Pablo Picasso’s painting “Head of a Young Woman” will be remaining in Spain even though Jaime Botín, the owner of the painting, may have had other plans. Flying to the French island of Corsica earlier this month, a team of Spanish experts retrieved the painting believed to be worth €25 million and will be returning it to Madrid’s Reina Sofia Museum. The action is a result of a ruling by a Spanish national court that the painting was a national treasure and must remain in the country.
People, Places, Things. The only downside of the lifestyle comedy starring New Zealand comedian Jemaine Clement is that it is in limited release beginning this weekend. As an official selection of this year’s Sundance Film Festival, Clement stars as a graphic artist and professor living in NYC. The conflict? The mother of his young twin daughters, his long-time girlfriend, is sleeping with his good friend Gary, which is when his life begins an understandable tailspin. As he navigates single fatherhood, balances work and time with his girls, the comedy and quandaries ensue. Have a look at the trailer below.
Mistress America opens today in limited release as well. Learn more in yesterday’s This & That.
Bendite Event of the Week
The Bend Brewfest kicked off on Thursday August 13th and runs through this weekend. Located at the Les Schwab Amphitheater, and while you are certainly welcome to enjoy for free, if you’d like to taste, a mug will cost you $15 which also comes with 5 tasting tokens. If you’d like more tasting tokens, they are $1 each for a four ounce pour. Note, pets are not allowed and you may not bring last year’s mug. Gates open at noon on each day of the festivities and run until 11pm on Saturday and 8pm on Sunday.
French Word of the Week
Café gourmand
Bonjour, this is Géraldine from Comme une Française.com. I’m here to share the latest French Word of the Week : a simple very French word for your Simply Luxurious Life in France.
Ah le café gourmand, this wonderful invention when you’re not hungry enough for dessert but definitely want to end a meal on a sweet note
Gourmand is a cute adjective that means fond of food.
Un café gourmand is a dessert that’s made of “un café” and tiny “pâtisseries” on the side. We call them “mignardises” because they’re small and cute, or in French “mignon”.
Le café gourmand is delicious. And it’s a great way to try different specialties at once. Perfect for “le goûter”: the 4PM French snack.
Between you and me, it’s also a source of joke as it contains as many calories and sugar as a proper dessert, but you always choose it to have “bonne conscience” : a clear conscience.
You will love le café gourmand, I can guarantee it. If you’re lucky, your café gourmand will include un macaron !
If you want to add more French in your Simply Luxurious Life, join me on Comme une Française.com for weekly video tips to sound French, even to the French! And it’s free.
Thought to Ponder
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August 14, 2015
This & That: No. 171
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Film
~Mistress America
With New York City and the much-talked about college experience not being all that was expected by college freshman Tracy, she is befriended by her soon-to-be stepsister Brooke played by Greta Gerwig. The screenplay, co-written by Gerwig and Noah Baumbach (While We’re Young, Frances Ha, Greenberg, Margot at the Wedding and The Squid and the Whale), spotlights the spontaneity and ambiguity that is being a young adult and figuring out how to live and direct one’s life. While only in limited release, if you’re lucky, it may be in your city today. Either way, look for it on Netflix in the future. It looks like a worthwhile way to spend a couple of hours at the end of a busy week.
Francophile Find
~The Parisian Style Guide: Shop, Eat, Sleep by Elodie Rambaud
If you are heading to Paris at anytime in the future and wish to find shops, destinations and accommodations that will enable you to return with a one-of-a-kind experience as well as perhaps a few items to add to your home to remind you of your storied trip, pick up Parisian native and interior designer Elodie Rambaud’s book. Filled with more than 200 recommended shopping destinations, such as gourmet food markets, antique boutiques and beloved cafes, your eyes and itinerary will be full and enamored.
Music
~At Least for Now by Benjamin Clementine
The self-taught 26-year-old London-born musician, Benjamin Clementine, who has been calling Paris home for some time, even literally the streets of Paris for a while as he was homeless, shines in his first album, At Least for Now, which was released earlier this summer. As you will hear in the video below of his song “London” which is filmed with the Parisian skyline as the backdrop, his voice is phenomenally unique and powerful. With song titles such as “Winston Churchill’s Boy”, “St. Clementine on Tea and Croissants” and “Adios” a homage to Nina Simone, critics are taking notice, as the Parisian scene has been applauding for some time. Have a listen.
Shopping
~Frame Denim Le Shirt striped washed silk-charmeuse dress
Stripes will never go out of style, but when Frame denim (I love their jeans as they cater to very long inseams) offered this lovely silk navy striped (white & burgundy) gem with a pussy-bow, I took notice. For a reasonable price, this investment item will be in the fall capsule wardrobe as well as the spring for years to come.
~Theory Gantrima K. Pencil Skirt in Tweed
Fall is coming and that means giving our capsule wardrobe a going over and determining what needs to be updated. Theory’s tweed pencil skirt would certain be a classic addition if you’re in the market. While they are only taking pre-orders at the moment, I have to say, I’m keeping my eye on this versatile piece.
Tea
~Palais des Thes Garden Herbal Teas
I will admit, I need my hot cup of tea year round to kick off the day and wrap it up in the evening, but it is fun to try new varietals as the seasons change. I was recently sent the Garden collection from Palais des Thes and have enjoyed allowing my tastebuds to dance with the fruity flavors of mango, kiwi, mint and papaya, just to name a few. Wanting to make a batch of iced tea for an outdoor dinner party, I seeped a couple of bags for an hour and then popped it into the fridge until company arrived, and oh, was it subtle and sumptuous. While there are many varietals to choose from, my go-tos have been the Tropical and Fruit Garden blends, or should I say, Jardin Tropical and Jardin Fruité.
~recipe for Key Lime Pie~
I am trying to control my excitement. There are so many reasons for this bottled up exhilaration, but one of them is the coming of the fall shopping season (the other are more personal and school related, but I’ll talk about those at another time). Vogue recently released a preview of its coveted September cover donning the ever-stylish Beyonce captured by Mario Testino wearing a sheer embroidered Marc Jacobs’ gown, and while this is her third cover for the fashion bible (April 2009 & March 2013), it is her first September cover. Look for the issue to hit stands and your mailbox August 25th.
Staying on the fashion topic, TSLL Fall Shopping Guide will be sent out to subscribers on Tuesday September 1st. If you haven’t subscribed to this bi-annual email subscription, click here to view this past Spring’s 2015 Shopping Guide, and if you’re interested, subscribe here.
Now, back to the weekend and that Key Lime Pie is something I’ve always wanted to make and just might have to in the coming days. While I will be staying close to home this weekend, I’m thinking about being a tourist in my new hometown. Why not? Who knows what will be discovered in this last few summer weekends. Below are a few articles you might enjoy weekend in your leisure time, but until next time bon weekend!
~15 simple conveniences that make a tremendous difference in our everyday
~The Atlantic’s recent cover story is worth reading, have a look here as it discusses political correctness and schools
~Two descriptors that will always remain mutually exclusive: pessimistic and successful. Read here to find out why.
~A simple checklist to make sure you’re not making your life harder than it needs to be from Marc & Angel
~Being a kid and being an introvert. Not always the easiest thing to be, but now that we know more, maybe we can make it better for the younger generation.
~And I’m wrapping up with an article I absolutely LOVED finding in my Sunday newspaper this past weekend, “I’m Too Old For This”. Hopefully you’ll love it too.
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August 13, 2015
Decor Inspiration: A Cozy Kitchen Nook
A cozy kitchen nook punctuates a top-of-the-line galley kitchen. Located in Greenwich Village, New York, the brilliant natural light paired with the morning news and a hot cup of tea sounds like an ideal way to begin the day. View the entire apartment here.
~DECOR INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
~22 Tips for Creating A Grown-Ups Living Space
~Why Not . . . Use Simple Changes to Transform Your Kitchen?
Images via Dust Jacket Attic
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August 12, 2015
Word of the Week: No. 13
Click below for the pronunciation:
http://www.thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/propinquity.m4a
~WORDS OF THE WEEK from the Archives:
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August 11, 2015
Outfit of the Week: Prepping for Fall
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~BCBG Jaelyn Asymmetrical Printed Kaftan dress~
~UGG ‘Claudine’ Tall boot or Frye Marissa Back Zip Tall cognac boot~
~Moon & Lola Cheshire Monogrammed bracelet~
~Rebecca Minkoff Small Monroe Tote~
The post Outfit of the Week: Prepping for Fall appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.
Style Inspiration: Style At A Certain Age
This week’s Style Inspiration is slightly different, but I have a feeling nearly every TSLL reader, regardless of your age or body type will find inspiration when they go to their closets after having perused today’s selection of images. I am tickled to introduce to you Street Style blogger Beth Djalali, who is the talent and expert eye of knowing how to put timeless outfits together as seen on her blog Style At A Certain Age.
Why it took me this long to find her, I don’t know, but I am simply tickled to have stumbled across her blog while perusing my Pinterest favorites. Having grown up in Omaha, Nebraska, and now calling San Francisco home, Beth has been blogging since 2014 and at age 56 offers style that is thoughtful and stunning to offer inspiration no matter what your age.
While her blog’s title suggests a certain audience, I would argue we all, women that is, can find ideas and inspiration as she displays a true understanding for how classic, chic style works. For example, that pairing brown and black together is an absolutely must when done right, statement jewelry eliminates the need for excess and a pop of brilliantly selected color to complement one’s skin tone can do wonders. Nearly all of her outfits are ideas I gravitate towards in my own capsule wardrobe especially her Parisian flare in many of her ensembles. Bravo Beth, and keep up the amazing style.
Enjoy getting to know Beth Djalali and for each of the outfits, you can visit her Pinterest and blog for the shopping links.
~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES:
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