Tez Brooks's Blog: TezBrooks.com, page 22
March 21, 2017
Happy National Single Parent Day!
TODAY AMERICA HONORS ALL SINGLE PARENTS FOR THE LOVE AND HARD WORK THEY DO RAISING KIDS ALONE. Kudos to you!
To celebrate, I'm giving away a free signed copy of "The Single Dad Detour"
to the first 3 readers who respond to the question below:
Share about your most memorable Mother's Day or Father's Day.
(must have a U.S. shipping address and must click "Follow" on my home page).
Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America,
do hereby proclaim March 21, 1984, as National Single Parent Day.
I call on the people of the United States to recognize the contributions single
parents are making, sometimes under great hardships, to the lives of their children,
and I ask that they volunteer their help, privately or through community organizations,
to single parents who seek it to meet their aspirations for their children.
In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-first day of March,
in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-four, and of the Independence
of the United States of America the two hundred and eighth.
March 16, 2017
Learning to Relax and Get Lazy on the Weekends
Raising kids is hard work and the weekends don’t care if you need a rest. The grass still needs to be mowed, the laundry still needs to be washed, and the kids still need to eat.One single dad advises dads to grab a cup a coffee first thing on Saturdays, sit on the porch and watch the kids play. It has a way of re-organizing your day so you're not focused on chores.
Often allowing yourself just be lazy is exactly what you need. Too many times guilt drives us to start projects instead of lying in a hammock with your kids on top of you.
No time to relax? That’s okay. I exercise regularly and alone. I love losing myself in my playlists and talking to God. I recently realized the bonding that happened when I invited one of my daughters to accompany me on my 2-mile route.
At first I was hesitant. I didn’t want anyone to break my groove. This was my “me” time. But I noticed topics came up that wouldn’t normally be discussed around her sister or even her mom. I’m now learning to love those early morning workouts.
Still having a hard time letting chores go? Sometimes with a little creativity, you can get errands done while still spending quality time with the kiddos. Try a few of these ideas:
· Help your daughter clean up her room using show and tell. Rather than handing her a trash bag and telling her to clean up—sit on her floor and ask her to tell you the stories behind each drawing or piece of string she’s trashing. Sure it will take longer but all she’ll remember is you entered her world and it was wondrous.
· You could rake the leaves yourself or you could include the kids and a camera. Then let them play in the piles before bagging them up. Less will get done and you’ll have to rake them again, but you’ll have some great photos.
· Gotta work on the minivan? Let your son hand you the tools you need while you’re under the car. He’ll learn what a wrench is and you’ll have a helper. Let him get a little greasy too. It’s only dirt.
Don’t get me wrong, whether it’s groceries or gutters, including the kids can go two ways—really bad or really good. Often it’s our attitude that dictates how the outing will go. I have to loosen up if I’m ever going to include my kids in my chores and errands. Too often I'm more worried about keeping up appearances and what the neighbors think, instead of being a good dad. But it’s either bring them with me on errands or stay on the back porch with my coffee and get nothing done. Which was my point to begin with, I think.
That back porch is usually the best option. Grouting and grass-cutting can wait. Keep those pajamas on, grab another cup of coffee and in the words of a famous princess “Let it go.”
How about you? What ideas have worked to keep chores from pulling you away from the kids? Share your ideas with us you lazy crud!
Written by Tez Brooks, author of The Single Dad Detour (Kregel)
March 7, 2017
Dads and Makeup: Feeling Unsure How to Approach This Issue
No this post isn't about fathers wearing eyeliner. Although that probably would make for a pretty cool dad.It's about my daughter. She's 13 and makeup is now interesting to her. At first, I had no idea what to do about this.
Physical appearance seems to be very important to young girls and it doesn't stop for women. Wherever we go, the media screams the lie, "Beauty makes you valuable."
The truth is, we are more of a soul than we are a mere body to decorate. I want my daughters to understand that their bodies are only a temporary shell, not the measure of their significance.
I have the privilege to be in a unique position to influence my girls--to present a different perspective on makeup and clothes. But if I do it all wrong, that opportunity slips away.
A wise person once said, "Women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety...appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (I Timothy 2).
We've talked about it and decided to ease her into it by allowing another type of makeup added every 6 months. So she started with lip gloss on her 13th birthday. After 6 months rolls by, she gets to add light blush.
When her 14th birthday pops up, she can add mascara or foundation...I'll let her and her mom decide at that point what is needed most.
At any rate, I figure by the time she gets to red lipstick or dark eye shadow she will be mature enough to have it enhance her beauty in a classy way with modesty, rather than making her look immodest. Because let's face it, too much makeup too soon sometimes sends the wrong message to boys.
But I must approach that reality with my girls carefully and tactfully. While I want them to understand the issue of boys and lust, I don't want her to feel all the weight of some boy's problem. It's his issue--his sin. Yet I still desire for her to care enough to be watchful of how she applies makeup or wears in public. There's a balance there.
But maybe I need to re-think this plan. Wisdom comes from many counselors and it often takes a village to raise a child. I'm open to some advice from you moms and dads out there. How did you handle the whole makeup ordeal? What worked? What didn't?
Written by Tez Brooks, author of The Single Dad Detour (Kregel).
Dads and Make Up
No this post isn't about fathers wearing eyeliner. Although that probably would make for a pretty cool dad.It's about my daughter. She's 13 and make-up is now interesting to her. At first, I had no idea what to do about this.
Physical appearance seems to be very important to young girls and it doesn't stop for women. Wherever they go the media screams the lie that beauty makes you valuable.
The truth is, we are more of a soul than we are a mere body to decorate. I want my daughters to understand that their bodies are only a temporary shell, not the measure of their significance.
I have the privilege to be in a unique position to influence my girls--to present a different perspective on makeup and clothes. But if I do it all wrong, that opportunity is gone forever.
A wise person once said, "Women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety...appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (I Timothy 2).
We've talked about it and decided to ease her into it by allowing another type of makeup added every 6 months. So she started with lip gloss on her 13th birthday. After 6 months rolls by, she gets to add light blush.
When her 14th birthday pops up she can add mascara or foundation...I'll let her and her mom decide at that point what is needed most.
At any rate, I figure by the time she gets to red lipstick or eye shadow she will be mature enough to have it enhance her beauty in a classy way, rather than making her look immodest. Because let's face it, too much makeup too soon sends the wrong message to males.
But I must approach that reality with my girls carefully and tactfully. While I want them to understand the issue of boys and lust, I don't want her to feel all the weight of some boy's problem. It's his issue--his sin. Yet I still desire for her to care enough to be watchful of how she applies makeup or dresses in front of boys. There's a balance there.
But maybe I need to re-think this plan. Wisdom comes from many counselors and it often takes a village to raise a child. I'm open to some advice from you moms and dads out there. How did you handle the whole makeup ordeal? What worked? What didn't?
Written by Tez Brooks, author of The Single Dad Detour (Kregel).
TEST POST
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March 5, 2017
February 20, 2017
February 12, 2017
Are Daddy/Daughter Dances Bad?
So I took my 10-year-old to a Daddy/Daughter dance at my church last night. That's admirable, right?Or was it?
I recently spoke to someone who had a different perspective on this.
She said, "I remember going to one of those. But it was specifically for teenage girls in high school. I looked forward to it for years as a right of passage per se."
Apparently, it was meant for training--a time for a dad to teach his girl what to expect during a real date and to train her what to look for in a boy's behavior. Or what to watch out for.
"This whole idea of letting little girls experience things at younger and younger ages isn't helping prepare them for dating at all." she commented.
I might agree with her because I took my older daughter to a few of those. Although we had a blast and they played lots of kid music and had games that little girls enjoyed....now that she's 13 she scorned the idea of going.
"That's for little kids, Dad. I'm too old for a Daddy/Daughter dance."
Wow. So the very thing I tried to use to prepare her for a real date, has now become a joke. I wonder, will she now look at chivalry like she's being treated like a child? The thing she was supposed to look forward to--has it now become something to be avoided? Something for children?
Has society's bent to celebrate mediocrity consumed us? We have graduation ceremonies for 6 graders, even those leaving Kindergarten. We give blue ribbons for "participating" and now dances for little girls.
Should we trade in our zip-lines for a simple tire swing? Perhaps we need to go back to simpler remedies for quality time. Reading together, playing hide and seek, family dinners and bedtime prayers. Perhaps providing such an extravagant event is conditioning our girls to get bored with the magic and expect to be further amazed. I pity the poor young man who wants to woo my daughter but can never live up to what Daddy has already given her....magical evenings, Disney cruises, trips to Europe, etc. etc.
I'm as guilty as they come. And the pressure to provide "more" is ruthless where I live, in the family entertainment capital of the world.
What do you think? Is a Daddy/Daughter dance really all we think it is? Is it really a special time to connect with your little girl? Will it forever be etched in her mind as a Hallmark moment representing your love for her...or are we shooting ourselves in the foot? Tell us what you think.
January 26, 2017
January 7, 2017
One Deadly Trap
My friend, Matt Haviland has a website A Father's Walk where he recently wrote a blog series about ten deadly traps. Matt addresses many things single dads need to be cautious of. One in particular I wanted to share with you...a reminder to lead our kids well.
Enjoy.
Ten Deadly Traps Single Fathers Fall Into: NOT LEADING THEIR CHILDREN
