Tez Brooks's Blog: TezBrooks.com, page 23

He Doesn't Want Me in His Life

It's been almost 2 years since we talked.

Thanksgiving came and went with no phone call or text from my son. He's in his late 20s so I'm finding it hard to continue lying to myself that he is just busy and forgot or doesn't know any better.

The only conclusion I can make is that he doesn't give a flip about a relationship with me. Maybe he never has.

He says he loves me but his actions don't match up. Words are cheap. I don't think he really knows what love is. I'm simultaneously angry and hurt and sad.

If he would just humble himself and contact me, I could show him what true love is. I'd take him in my arms like the father of the prodigal son in the Bible....put a ring on his finger and robe on his back.

I don't care that he's living with his girlfriend or doing drugs. I don't care that he isn't following God. I just want him to be in relationship with me, with his sisters who don't understand why he ignores them. They wonder what they did to make him step out of their lives.

I'm praying God turns his heart toward mine and back toward God. Will you pray with me?
 

Too Busy?

Rushing to and fro, working all day. 
Have a meeting over lunch, so I don't feel guilty about wasting time "just eating."
Talk on the phone while emailing someone else.
Use my hands-free cell phone while rushing home.
Walk the dog and jog at the same time so I can kill two birds with one stone.
Jump in the shower, scarf down some dinner.
Check email and phone messages.
Spend 30 minutes of quality time helping the kids with homework, 
Watch some TV to unwind, and drop into bed at 11PM! 
I feel like I've have accomplished much today. I might feel fulfilled and good about myself for being so efficient.
I wonder when do I get to be in silence and meditate...to hear from God? 
What am I trying to medicate? What am I running from? Being too busy is the enemy of rest. 
Rest restores! Matthew 11:28 reminds us to "Come" to the author of rest. Are you weary in well doing? He will give us rest...but we gotta stop and wait for it. 
God help me meditate, not medicate!

PRESS RELEASE

LOCAL WRITER TEZ BROOKS WINS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD, ANNOUNCED AT
2016 FLORIDA WRITERS ASSOCIATION CONFERENCEFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. October 23 2016: Orlando FL. The Florida Writers Association, Inc., (FWA) has announced that Tez Brooks of Orlando, FL won the prestigious Royal Palm Literary Award (RPLA). Brooks’ winning entry, The Single Dad Detour, won in the Informational/Educational category for Published Non-Fiction. The award was announced at FWA’s recent four-day annual conference in Altamonte Springs, Florida. This annual competition, which received 479 submissions, was RPLA’s fifteenth. “This is the most comprehensive and competitive RPLA we’ve ever had,” said Chris Coward, RPLA chairperson. “The RPLA administrative team, judges, and entrants all did an amazing job.”In all, the competition covered 26 adult genres and 15 Youth genres, with published and unpublished entries considered separately. There were four grand awards, as well.  “A win at any level can help a writer market their manuscript or published book, and the detailed feedback from the judges is invaluable for all entrants,” Ms. Coward said.Brooks said, “I’m so humbled to be honored in a secular contest like this when The Single Dad Detour obviously contains a strong Christian worldview. There’s a lot of pressure for parent’s to be perfect. It’s my hope that single fathers everywhere will learn to laugh at themselves, find encouragement to keep going and know they’re not alone in their journey.”The Florida Writers Association, 1,500 members strong and growing, is a nonprofit 501(c)(6) organization that supports the state’s established and emerging writers. Membership is open to the public.The Royal Palm Literary Awards competition is a service of the Florida Writers Association established to recognize excellence in members’ published and unpublished works while providing objective and constructive written assessments for all entrants. For additional information, visit the FWA website: floridawriters.net, where you’ll also find more about RPLA and the complete list of 2016 winners. 

Orlando Book Signings

TEZ WILL BE APPEARING FOR THREE EVENTS:Orlando Public Library101 E. Central Blvd.Orlando, FL 32801OCTOBER 16 at 2:00-4:00PM

Hilton Orlando350 Northlake BlvdAltamonte Springs, FL 32701OCTOBER 22 at 3:30PM(30 minutes only) & 
Hilton Orlando350 Northlake BlvdAltamonte Springs, FL 32701OCTOBER 23 at 9:00AM(30 minutes only) 
TEZ BROOKS WILL BE THERE, ANSWERING QUESTIONS AND SIGNING BOOKS. IF YOU ARE IN ORLANDO PLEASE STOP BY.

Orlando Book Signing

TEZ BROOKS WILL BE HERE, ANSWERING QUESTIONS AND SIGNING BOOKS. IF YOU ARE IN ORLANDO PLEASE STOP BY.

Bored Single Dads

I'd do this...yes I would.

What's Your Advice for Back to School?

SINGLE DADS....

Every year it seems to cost more and more money to get the kids ready for school. Pencils, notebooks, backpacks, uniforms and more. The list is outrageously long.

If your kids are in Jr High or Middle School you might as well save up for laptops and cell phones too--because the peer pressure is gonna filter back to you eventually. What's a single dad supposed to do? Especially if you're not getting support from your ex-spouse.

Then there's the extreme homework each night and the pressure to get involved in the PTSA, soccer games and more.

Maybe the opposite is true. Perhaps you're relieved to finally get some time to yourself for 6 hours. It's free babysitting really.

I'd like to hear from some of you dads...any advice for fathers on the brink of a melt down? Reply below and share your thoughts with the community.

Helping Your Kids Get a Grip On Grief (Part 3 of 3)

In this final installment on the topic of divorce grief and your kids, let's look at the third phase, "Acceptance."

When you begin to see the following issues appearing, you can know your child has embraced the divorce as a reality. They have decided to move forward, anticipating their future.

Initiating discussions about the loss.Getting more involved in activities again.Caring about others.Less animosity dealing with subjects like visitations, holidays, last minute schedule changes or dating/re-marriage.
You may your child less embarrassed or ashamed of having a broken home. They may still be bothered by the divorce but they're more accepting that things didn't turn out like they wanted.
Finding joy and contentment in extra-curricular activities and hobbies will begin to return. Your child will desire healthy relationships and feel accepted rather than feeling like a misfit.
Your child's pain may be replaced with a sensitivity to other kids who are experiencing a divorce. They might even give you subtle (or not so subtle) clues that they want you to find a woman and re-marry. 
There is light at the end of the tunnel for you and your precious kids. This is not to say your kids wont still fluctuate from time to time. Recovery is long process for everyone. Blaming themselves for the divorce is a common issue with children of divorce. And you will need to initiate a discussion about it from time to time; just to remind them not to adopt that mind-set.
Regardless of the phase your child is currently in (Early Grief, Acute Grief or Acceptance) recovery will come. With love and patience, you can guide your son or daughter through this season of life with God's help. He is after all, in your corner cheering you on.
______________________________________________________________________
Award-winning author Tez Brooks, has been writing for decades, with some of his work appearing in The Upper Room, CBN.com, Clubhouse, Eternity magazine, and Book Fun Magazine. His book, The Single Dad Detour (Kregel, 2015) was semi-finalist for the Royal Palm Literary Awards. 

His most recent screenplay Jangled, won 2016 Best Short Film in Florida at CENFLO.His literary works won awards with Jerry Jenkins’ Christian Writers Guild, the Florida Christian Writer’s Conference and the Florida Writer’s Assoc. 

Tez is a member of Word Weavers International, American Christian Writers Assoc., and Florida Writers Assoc. He and his wife serve as full-time missionaries with Jesus Film Project where Tez leads a team of journalists. They have four children and now reside in Orlando, following an overseas assignment. 

Single Parent Summit

THE SINGLE PARENT SUMMITComing to MichiganMay 12-13 2017
Learn more here: http://singleparentingsummit.net/about-us/our-mission

Helping Your Kids get a Grip on Grief (part 2 0f 3)

As discussed in my last post, children often need help processing the grief that comes from divorce.

The first stage is early grief. It comes and goes and isn't present every day. It's a time when they need comfort and assurance.

Phase 2 is acute grief, presenting itself in a more constant emotional state. They are no longer in denial. They are very aware of what's happened and are reacting to it. As a parent you may find it in your child as follows:


Anger that causes lashing out at people or acting out and misbehaving.Despair/Depression causing uncontrolled weeping, sleeping or disconnecting from people.Yearning/Searching for something good from their past. They talk a lot about memories and long to go back to certain places or times.Overwhelmed by the slightest choices or chores. Easily disoriented. Patience is key when they act out or get inappropriately angry. When they are overwhelmed by something, help them break it down into bite-sized chunks they can handle. If possible, take them to the place they long to re-visit or pull out old photos and allow them to process their losses. Don't neglect professional care or counseling if your child seems to be experiencing depression. But do display understanding and affection, reassuring them you are there for them and they are not alone. 
Finally, but not least...pray for and with them. Model dependance on the Lord during this season, offering hope in Christ. 
Next time I'll conclude this series discussing Phase 3: Acceptance. Meanwhile, use the comment box to tell us what you have tried and how it worked.