Tez Brooks's Blog: TezBrooks.com, page 25

Mother's Day and your Ex

WHAT TO DO ON MOTHER'S DAY WHEN YOUR KIDS LIVE WITH YOU
1. If they are 18 or older, you're off the hook. Your child is an adult and hopefully knows by now it's all on them to follow-through and honor their mother. Stay out of it.

2. If they are 14-17, tell them they better find some way to honor their mother or they are in trouble with you. The ball is in their court but you still need to help guide your teens away from self-centeredness and toward loving others.

3. If they are 10-13, help them figure out how they can best show love to Mom on this special day. Teach them how to "own" this idea of honoring Mom. Make them use their allowance or earned cash or they could do a special favor for Mom. Bottom line, let them decide what to do.

4. If the kids are 3-9 years old, have them make a homemade card for Mom. Provide the crayons/paper and help them do it.

5. If they are too young to color or draw a homemade card, buy one yourself and have the child deliver it. In the end, Mom knows you did it yourself, but it's ok to take the high road.

What about you? What have you done to make sure your kids honor Mom?

Exciting News!

So this is exciting....the Florida Writer's Assoc nominated my book, "The Single Dad Detour" as a semi-finalist in the 2016 Royal Palm Literary Awards. A secular organization nominating a book with a Christian worldview.

Helping Others

Single dad Jeff (name changed), is making a big pot roast for dinner. Last year he couldn't fry an egg. He had to learn to cook, clean and do laundry...all while working 30 hours a week.

Society has little understanding for custodial daddies. Try standing outside a ladies room while waiting for your daughter. You get all kinds of disapproving looks while you're wondering if your kid is ok in the bathroom alone.

When people see you eating out with your kids, chances are they assume you are just visiting your children for the weekend.

They have no idea you might have had to cut your hours at work to make sure you're home for dinner each night. And no one really cares.

Then there's the sexual temptation. A battle all to its own.

Men are just as broken by divorce as women but few believe this. Even fewer care. And if you are a widower, you have the grief factor to deal with on top of everything else.

Those of us who have survived and come out the other side could help a lot of these guys. Often we put it behind us and never talk about it. Its been almost 15 years since I was a single dad and some of my friends don't even know I was. That's sad...because it means I'm hiding and thus single dads don't even know they can come to me for advice or a shoulder.

How about you? Have you re-married and started another life? Are you hiding your past pain so that you don't have to help those going through it alone? It is after all, uncomfortable.

Okay single dads...those who are currently still single...what ways can we best help you to survive and come out of this a better man? Or maybe you have some gripes you need to unload....Comment below.

Dirty Little Secret

Good Saturday morning! It's the weekend and I thought I'd send a quick moment with you all before breakfast.

Just when I think all the hub-bub about The Single Dad Detour is over. Just when I've resigned myself to embracing it will be shelved and forgotten amidst the myriad of other dusty, countless books, suddenly I hear how God is using it to minister to a dad here or there.

I've been feeling so grateful lately for the opportunities God is providing to reach out to single dads and offer encouragement. This week I met with two different men to hear their stories and lend a shoulder. If only I had that opportunity years ago, during my own journey as a single father. I wonder how many other dads are out there without anyone to bounce things off, without a friend to listen or even offer help with the kids from time to time?

Can I share a dirty little secret? To be frank, Im not naturally compassionate. My wife will be the first to tell you, when I display compassion it's a total God thing. It pretty much has to be a move of the Holy Spirit in my heart.

Like I mentioned in The Single Dad Detour, I did not want to write a book about my painful journey through divorce and single parenting. I compared it to digging through nasty cat litter to find someone else's car keys.

It's pretty safe to say that entire book was a work of the Holy Spirit moving in me. When I finally began to write it, I was moved with compassion and love for my fellow brothers on that road. And God continues to stir that up in me, in order to help guys struggling to find direction and hope. Thanks to Christ's power in me (changing me day-by-day into his image) and some awesome Stephen Ministry training, it's become more natural for me to come alongside men and feel their pain.

I'm humbled to be a part of what the Creator is doing and I'm grateful for each of you who even bother to read these posts. I don't hear from most of you, but I can see I have readers around the world and that is hard to wrap my head around. I often feel I don't have a thing to offer. I guess I just want to say I appreciate you.

Now, I must go and figure out how to convince my wife that crepes are on the menu for breakfast today. Have a blessed weekend.

April Photo Caption Contest

It's time for another contest. Whoever comes up with the funniest caption for this photo wins a free copy of The Single Dad Detour. Previous winners cannot enter. Contest ends April 30th.

Sadness

Is this depression Im feeling today? I don't know.

As I read the things my oldest daughter shares on Facebook from week to week, it becomes so clear she is choosing not to embrace the spiritual inheritance that is hers. Im sad for her and for how she is pushing me away. Pray for us. I love her and desire an intimate relationship with her. Wow, this is how God feels when I ignore him.

My heart is broken today.

Prayer for single dad

Please pray for Juan*. And pray for me as I respond to him. His request is below: 

Hi Tez I've wanted to touch base with you about something. I'm the dad from Fort Wayne who call-in several months back, during your radio interview. I’m the one going through a (second) divorce. BTW - thanks for the book; it was great!! 

My question is this: I'm really, really struggling with loneliness right now (I referred to it as "profound" to someone not too long ago). I don't get out much, especially since I have the primary care of the kids. My two best friends are not as accessible as they used to be, by no fault of their own; it's just the way life has taken us. I do not connect with my "co-workers" and I'm kind of the new guy at a young church plant, so connection there is slow. Truth is, I'm kind of particular with whom I connect. I've never been much of a "shallow/surface" type person. It's not that I don't get along with people; I can do fine in a crowd. But I do not lightly call anyone "friend.” I only have two close friends. 

So lately, I find I'm either with the kids, or by myself. I often go to one of the local coffee shops, just to be with other adults there. Still, I'm by myself. I'm not real good at asking for help, and I seriously don't even know what to ask for in this situation. But I'm hurting... bad, and I'm afraid I'm at risk of doing something unwise. What can I do? I’d love some advice.   

Juan
*(name changed)

Orlando Book Signing: MARCH 5th

https://www.facebook.com/events/1088214637876539/



WHERE: Family Christian Bookstore at 745 N. Alafaya Trail, Orlando, FL 32828DATE: March 5, 2016     TIME: 11AM to 2PMCome have some cake and hear excerpts from the book.




BOOK SIGNING w/ TEZ BROOKSauthor of  The Single Dad Detour

Sleepovers: Yes or No?

SLEEPOVERS
Give us your opinion in the comments below.

Feeling Ignored?

Hey older single dads. Share how you handle the holidays when your grown kids have not contacted you. In what ways do you deal with the pain of indifference? Please respond in the comments below.