Tez Brooks's Blog: TezBrooks.com, page 26

A Christmas Reminder on Parenting

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Can I vent for a minute?

I was attempting a quiet breakfast while preparing for a full day of meetings on a recent business trip. In the hotel breakfast area, a dad was checking his mobile device while his two boys ran back and forth to the waffle maker spilling batter on the floor and pouring syrup into the hot griddle just to watch it sizzle and smoke.

A moment later they were grabbing cereal with their hands and screaming at each other. The dad looked up, momentarily annoyed, but did nothing. The other guests were aggravated too, but these days everyone is afraid to confront or say anything for fear of backlash.

A serving spoon hit the floor, flinging scrambled eggs across the floor. Shaking their heads, an elderly couple decided to leave without finishing their meal. The front desk staff walked over and smiled at the boys gently asking them to have a seat.

"You're not my Mommy" one brat protested, turning his back on her.

The woman and I glanced at one another as my mouth dropped.

I looked at the father, expecting his intervention. He was still "busy."

As the smaller child reached for another handful of cereal. I grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Oops, let me help you young man. You seem to have jelly on your hands. Would you like a bowl for cereal?"

He nodded and smiled. "Okay, go have a seat with your father and I'll bring it to you."

The woman rolled her eyes, thanked me and walked back to the front desk.

I took the bowl of Fruit Loops over to the table and the dad looked at me confused.

"I thought I'd help your son with this. He was making a mess and you looked distracted. Happy to help." I smiled.

The dad mumbled something that might have been a "thank you" but I'm still not quite sure. It might have been "I didn't ask for help." Either way, I decided to say "Your welcome" as I turned to finish getting my own breakfast.

That was it. The chaos had ended and the hyper little boy settled down to eat.

I'm not telling this story to bring attention to how wonderful I am by intervening. Forgive me if it sounds this way. I just thought it was a typical story I see all the time. In stores, in libraries, in museums.

Dad's there's a time and place for allowing your kids to run off energy and be rowdy...it's called parks and playgrounds or your own backyard. Even then, we dads need to pay attention and engage in our child's world.

To the man at the hotel. Im not sure what your story is. I want to think the best. Perhaps you were taking care of an emergency or the death of loved one. Maybe you won "Dad of the Year" last June. Whatever your story, please make a small effort (that's all it takes at times) to control your kids and take responsibility as a parent. It's dads like you who make us all look like self-absorbed idiots.

Okay Im done.

October Photo Caption Contest

Come up with the funniest caption for this photo and win a free copy of The Single Dad Detour. Previous winners cannot enter. Contest ends October 31st.

Bonding Time

Bonding Time

Looking for a good investment in your son?

You all know how passionate I am about creating a secure sense of safety for your kids after a divorce. It helps them establish their family identity. Every child needs to know the love of their parents. It's that foundational knowledge that can bring families closer together or break them apart if it isn't there.My friend and fellow author Ben Wolf wrote "I'd Punch a Lion in His Eye for You" as a tangible way to show his son Liam how much he loved him. He has since started a Kickstarter Campaign to help fund its production.
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What Your Ex Wife Sees

Balancing Work and Single Fathering

Big Blended Family.com has some Great Tips for Working and Raising Kids Alone

When Kids Want to Live with the Other Parent

When a 5 or 15 year old says to a judge at a family court hearing, “I want to live with my dad [or mom]” most judges will take the child’s statement literally and side with him/her.  
With that said, parents or judges that think it’s the best interest to do what is said by the child during or after a divorce may be mistaken. It could come back to haunt all of them (judges, parents, and the kids when they grow older).
Anyone involved during a legal proceeding when it comes down to “the best interest of the child” will tell you, it’s not a pretty situation for all involved. 
What do you think? Ever been through this yourself?

Tips for When your Kids do Household Chores

It’s very important for children to help out with small chores around the house. Kids will grow into responsible, caring and considerate people in society. If you have children, you have probably experienced them resisting simple house chores. Every kid should feel appreciated and playing a role in helping around the house can achieve that goal. Here are some tips on encouraging your children to help out. Always Show AppreciationIt always feels good when people appreciate our good work. This is the same goes with kids. Never take anything a child does for granted. Kids love it when their parents show appreciation for small jobs done at home. Appreciating what your child does helps produce confidence. They will be more willing to chip in next time without being told. Further, appreciating what your kid does models them to appreciate and show gratitude in life. Always Encourage ThemEncouraging your child whenever they mess up is probably the most important tip. Kids will always make mistakes as they learn. Don't sweat the small stuff, bite your tongue and encourage them. Children learn by making mistakes, always be understanding as they navigate the learning curve. Criticizing children lowers their morale and makes them shy away from duties. Don’t grumble about the mess, teach your child and let them try things over and over again.Be specific In most cases, children have a hard time cooperating with you when asked to help out. Instead of telling your child to clean the house, be more precise about the kind of job you want them to do. Instead of asking them to help you with the laundry, ask them to take ten minutes each to help you with the laundry. Being more specific makes the child set their mind to the particular task to be done. Allocate the child tasks that are less time consuming as they slowly learn to help out.Take Time to TrainKids need to learn how to do simple things in the house like cracking an egg. It is important to give quick and fun tutorials to your child. Children don’t know how to perform simple tasks like sweeping or washing dishes. Engage them in these tasks as you explain to them how to handle them with ease. Teach them how to wash the different utensils. Assign them few tasks after the tutorials and encourage them as they perform them. Most children use the lack of skills as a reason for not helping out. Sneaky devils.ConclusionOur children make our family complete and it is important to make them help out with small house chores. They must be made to feel wanted and contributing to the well-being of the family.

Father's Day Caption Contest

IN HONOR OF DAD'S EVERYWHERE

Get your free CD of "A Father's Lullaby." by Nick Lachey

Come up with the funniest caption for this photo and win our Father's Day contest.

Previous winners not eligible. Contest ends at midnight on Father's Day. Winner will be announced June 22.

Ready, set, go to EverySingleDad.com to learn more