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Stop Pushing, Start Surrendering: How To Open Yourself To The Flow Of Life

The Pitfalls Of Constant Striving

“The harder you try to hold onto something, the more it wants to get away. You have to let go.” — Mitch Albom

Do you ever experience the constant push, the feeling that you’re exerting so much effort but not quite getting ahead? For instance, are you striving to pay your bills? Wanting to be in a committed relationship? Improve your career prospects? I want to be clear here because taking inspired action to get what we desire differs from striving to make things happen. Consider this: the prevailing mindset of trying and pushing is pervasive today. It seems that post-Covid, the world has changed, and we are now dealing with global economic challenges, climate uncertainty, and an ongoing war that is felt globally. Let me introduce the concept of surrender and its positive impact on our lives.

Embracing Surrender: A Paradigm Shift

“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.” — Eckhart Tolle

It’s no secret that society emphasizes achievement and constant productivity. Numerous books and YouTube videos provide guidance on optimizing productivity through efficient use of every minute. However, the toll of striving is impacting our mental and physical health, and it may be too late to reverse the effects. Think about this in the context of your life. Are you constantly striving and not seeing the results you deserve? For instance, you may have applied for multiple job openings but did not receive the desired outcome. Some say this is part of modern-day living. Still, I don’t buy into that explanation because some people live exceptional lives and manage their time wisely. What insights can we learn from them to make our lives more effortless and fulfilling?

Practical Steps To Cultivate Surrender

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” — Steve Maraboli

Many of these successful people have learned to surrender to the flow of life instead of pushing to make things happen. They have learned to surrender resistance and work with the forces of life. It doesn’t mean giving up or being apathetic. On the contrary, it’s liberating because it allows us to co-create our lives with what is happening. We learn to drop the resistance to things happening in a certain way and be more present in our current experience. The notion of surrender is common in Eastern philosophies and within spirituality. It is worth reiterating that surrender does not imply passivity or resignation. Our actions effortlessly arise from inspiration and cooperation with life’s forces rather than resistance. Finding a balance between our desire for control and accepting things beyond our control is vital to achieving success and happiness. We might believe nothing will get done if we are not in control, so we try harder to influence life’s circumstances. Ultimately, this need to control leads to anxiety and stress, especially when the outcome doesn’t match our expectations. Can you relate to this? So, how can we relinquish unnecessary control and allow life to bring us what we need? What practices, habits, or ways of thinking are required to make life effortless without the constant struggle?

First, it involves cultivating trust in the unfolding of life’s events. It may sound more accessible than in practice, so it consists of a shift in consciousness. But take it from someone who tried to control their life for many years, leading to dissatisfaction and a growing sense of stress and unhappiness. Ultimately, I decided to relinquish control and trust that the universe will provide me with what I require, recognizing that attempting to micromanage my life was not yielding the desired results. Then, my life began to unfold most beautifully and exuberantly. I’m not saying my old habits were transformed overnight. It took several years to practice the art of surrender. However, in doing so, we embrace uncertainty and impermanence, which frightens many people because we want to maintain control. For instance, we have limited control over our genetics and inherited traits, how people treat us, time, mortality, economic circumstances, biological needs, and unforeseen circumstances, to name a few.

Nevertheless, we can use mindfulness to surrender to life’s flow and stay grounded. Being present allows us to adapt to life’s challenges and turn them into opportunities. I realize this goes against everything you’ve come to know about life. For this reason, please don’t take my word for it, but put it into practice to see whether it works for you. The ultimate test is to practice the principles outlined here and see if you can make it a way of life. Of the hundreds of people I’ve coached over the last 15 years, many have benefited from this way of living because it gave them a new sense of possibility to live differently. Mindfulness allows us to witness our thoughts with detachment and notice what we are creating within each moment. For example, suppose we are trying to force a situation to unfold in a particular way. In that case, we can change our response by observing our thoughts and emotions to act from a place of surrender instead of force. It is an idea popularized by the American psychiatrist and consciousness researcher Dr. David Hawkins, who wrote in his acclaimed book Power Vs. Force: The Hidden Determinates of Human Behavior: “Man thinks he lives by the forces he can control, but in fact, he is governed by power from unrevealed sources, power over which he has no control. Because power is effortless, it goes unseen and unsuspected. Force is experienced through the senses; power can be recognized only through inner awareness.”

Similarly, the power of gratitude helps us foster surrender because it allows us to accept the positive and challenging aspects of life. Therefore, by letting go and trusting in a greater intelligence to bring us what we need, we co-create the circumstances of our lives effortlessly. Surrender helps us to handle adversity, especially in difficult situations outside our comfort zone. Surrender fosters self-awareness and growth because we learn more about ourselves when we remain detached from having situations unfold in a certain way. Ultimately, it requires integrating our sense of ambition with surrender if we wish to lead a fulfilling life. The main point of this article is learning to find balance within the context of your life. In other words, can you find that sweet spot between striving and letting go? You will have to try it to see if it works for you.

As a closing thought on the transformative power of surrender, I encourage you to write in your journal or speak to a friend or loved one about how you can integrate the art of surrender into your daily life. Pick an area of life that isn’t functioning optimally and try to surrender as little as 10% until you feel comfortable with more. For example, if your finances are suffering and you struggle to pay your bills. What is one daily practice you could undertake to help you surrender this aspect of your life? It might involve observing your thoughts and changing your inner dialogue. It might include reciting affirmations or journalling your fears. Whatever you choose, see if you can come from a place of nonresistance and allow things to be as they are. When we get comfortable with how things are, we communicate to life and the universe; we are not bothered by it. As a result, we allow better things to unfold because we come from a place of nonresistance instead of force, control, and fear.

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How To Turn Your Struggles Into Opportunities For Growth

The Struggle of Life

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” — Walter Anderson.

Does it feel like your life consists of an unending series of challenges? Do you often find yourself yearning for your problems to disappear? Longing for that sensation of being on vacation, free from all worries, where time seems to stand still, and your concerns momentarily fade away? Over the years, I’ve had numerous conversations with individuals who promised themselves that life would change after a vacation. They pledged to carve out more time to relax and not take life so seriously. Despite their sincere intentions, the relentless pace of life tends to overshadow their plans, and soon enough, they return to their familiar routines.

So, how can you avoid the pain of defeat and struggle? I recently had a conversation with a friend who was expressing frustration about his most recent endeavor. He mentioned something during the discussion that etched itself into my mind. Given his financial struggles, he wanted to leave his meaningless job and pursue a calling he was passionate about. He wanted to pursue work that offered him personal satisfaction above all else. He wished for a better life without the constant struggle. He believed if success found its way to him, he was powerless to appreciate it since he had become anxious about money for most of his life. He was a victim of his pain, and living a purposeful life was an elusive dream. Have you been in a similar situation before? If so, how did you overcome it, and what did you learn?

Pain or Pleasure?

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.” — Anne Lamott

Reclaiming your life isn’t contingent upon altering external circumstances but hinges on redirecting your internal focus. Please take a moment to reread that sentence and allow it to permeate your consciousness. It necessitates a profound longing to transform your existence, regardless of what awaits you on the other side. Just as we’ve all yearned for the serenity of a carefree vacation, only to find ourselves trapped in the quicksand of daily life, the choice to rise above the challenges and cherish the gift of life remains within our grasp. The Freudian pain-pleasure principle underscores that humans inherently pursue pleasure or, conversely, evade pain. You either magnetize opportunities that serve your highest potential or become entangled in a cycle of relentless agony, much like those who return from vacation only to be consumed by the same old routine.

Therefore, to reclaim your life, commence by nurturing awareness of your thoughts and actions, for you alone steer the course of your destiny, unswayed by external forces. The words of the American speaker Jim Rohn echo in my mind: “The same wind blows on us all: the winds of disaster, opportunity, and change. Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind, but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life.” By reframing failure as an opportunity for growth, you unleash the potential for success. Consider each loss a stepping stone toward your goals. It enables refinement and progression with each setback. Avoid tying your self-esteem to failure, as it can hinder your progress. Moreover, transform your frustrations and fears into passion and enthusiasm. People passionate about what they do value the journey, not just the end result. Trivial pursuits become insignificant when you pursue your passions and align with your core values. Many scatter their energies across myriad endeavors, hoping for a favorable outcome—like casting paint on a canvas and expecting a Rembrandt to emerge. Yet, our actions must be deliberate and purposeful.

Above all, taking charge of your life is paramount, rather than simply allowing it to pass you by. While you may have limited control over the outcomes, your ability to master your response remains firmly within your grasp. Reclaiming your life begins with cultivating inner peace and shedding the notion of being victimized by life’s circumstances. It entails collaborating with life’s various conditions recognizing that even the most challenging situations hold the potential for personal growth. Now, as you embark on your journey of self-inquiry, consider these three questions for your journal:

How can I actively take the reins of my life and steer it in the direction I desire, even when circumstances are beyond my control?What steps can I take to release feelings of victimization or powerlessness in the face of life’s challenges?How can I embrace the circumstances of my life, recognizing their potential to contribute to my personal growth and transformation?

As you delve into these questions in your journal, remember the valuable advice of Brené Brown, who cautions against falling into the pitfall of powerlessness. She wisely observes that feeling powerless can lead to fear and despair and poses a significant risk to ourselves and those in our vicinity. Instead, endeavor to tap into your inner strength and use it to create a harmonious balance between your internal and external worlds.

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Don’t Lose Heart: How to Keep Moving Forward When Life Gets Tough

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.”—Frank Tibolt.

If you’re reading this, you likely possess aspirations of considerable value. Achieving success demands establishing goals and crafting a strategic roadmap to propel you toward their realization. However, what happens when you’re traversing the road to success and encounter a state of inertia or find yourself immobilized in a single position? In such moments, how do you navigate the situation? Join me as we delve into the strategies for overcoming these obstacles and reigniting your journey toward success.

Embracing Life’s Twists And Turns

Life’s essence is the lack of a script; desires require effort. As the saying goes, ‘You can’t have it all.’ Reality often veers from our plans, but that’s perfectly alright. Unforeseen events are part of life’s beauty. They teach us that life remains distinctive and splendid despite unplanned setbacks, failures, trials, and temptations. This statement summarizes how we should respond to challenges: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Our aim should be to learn how to dance in the rain. If happiness and peace are what we desire (and most of us are), it is vital to understand joy is found in the journey despite outward circumstances. In the statement, the rain symbolizes trials, setbacks, and frustrations. Therefore, it requires focusing on happiness, perseverance, and cherishing the moment for optimal growth.

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg.”—Author Unknown.

Don’t Lose Heart

Life is full of twists and turns; some unexpected situations cause you to struggle with fatigue, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness. I want to encourage you not to lose hope when they appear. Things will not go as expected; keep moving forward, anyway. It seems like there is always an obstacle preventing you from reaching your desired destination. Focusing on what is going right or what you’ve accomplished will improve your attitude. You will feel joy throughout your journey and gratitude and contentment upon reaching your goal, regardless of your surroundings or timeline. 

Don’t lose heart.

Take Inspired Action 

Having goals can be very motivating. It’s essential to set both short-term and long-term goals to strive towards. Besides, creating an inspired action plan to help you attain those goals is vital. By inspired, I mean inspired steps that mean something to you. Therefore, take inspired action toward your goals to create momentum towards them. As you take a minor step toward your goals, your energy propels you forward, and the rate carries you over the bumps in the road. As you move forward, life brings forth your desires and dreams. Regardless of the situation, it is vital to take motivated action to help you move forward. Success and growth depend on the power of your mind, not on external factors. If your attitude aligns with your goals, you’re well on your way to accomplishing them. 

Embrace Action: Keep Striding

Is your journey toward your goal taking unexpected twists? Do you face challenges that might seem discouraging? Embrace the power of unwavering momentum as you consistently stride forward. Let yourself become a master of the graceful dance amidst the trials that life presents. Take a moment to ask yourself: Are you wholeheartedly embracing the path you’re on? Find solace in the present moment, for your compass guides you to the destination you seek. Visualize this: much like a flourishing garden that flourishes with nurturing and care, your life’s journey thrives despite imperfections or hurdles. Can you shift your focus to the positives and the progress? Can you consistently channel your efforts toward your cherished goals? By committing to this approach, you move steadily closer to your aspirations. Today is the day to take action and nurture your journey, just as a dedicated gardener tends to their garden. Considering this, in your journal, answer the following questions:

How do you typically respond when faced with unexpected challenges or setbacks?What strategies have you used to maintain a positive attitude and keep moving forward?Think about a specific goal you’re currently pursuing. Are your actions aligned with your intentions for that goal?How can you incorporate the metaphor of dancing in the rain into your approach to challenges and obstacles?

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Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose Happiness Every Day

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” — Mahatma Gandhi

In the pursuit of a more fulfilling and joyful life, take a moment to consider: Is happiness something distant, like a finish line, or is it woven into the tapestry of our daily choices and perspectives? As Mahatma Gandhi wisely noted in the opening quote, can real happiness thrive when our thoughts, words, and actions align? Amid the myriad philosophical debates and the enticing promises of self-help, perhaps the genuine keys to happiness are nestled within our existence’s simple yet profoundly transformative aspects. What if the path to authentic happiness is much closer than we’ve ever realized? In the following paragraphs, I will discuss eight ways to find happiness in your life. I encourage you to reflect on your journey and discover moments of joy scattered throughout.

1. Embrace Simplicity

Studies show that happy people don’t have high aspirations or dreams. Being content is their foremost mantra, focusing on critical life areas. If you are content, you are happy. Striving for realistic goals will keep you comfortable and satisfied, and you’ll receive pleasant surprises. Author Loch Kelly espouses this idea in his book Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness, in which he writes: “Evidence shows that only 10 percent of our happiness is based on external success. According to Killingsworth and Gilbert, as little as 4.6 percent of our happiness is derived from the specific activity that we’re doing.” To be truly happy, accepting and cherishing what you have is essential.

2. Find Fulfilment In Your Work

Happy people enjoy their work. They don’t pursue it for money or fame, but for the satisfaction it brings to their lives. We don’t discover happiness being stuck in an unfulfilled job because the money is good. While being remunerated for your skills is rewarding, money represents one aspect of job satisfaction. Therefore, pursue something you enjoy doing. If you are not respected in your job or if your colleagues are not friendly, it’s best to pursue a career that provides inner peace. Many people waste their best years trying to make money for their families. Your happiness is a high priority too. Author Jonathan Fields echoes this sentiment in his book How to Live a Good Life: “What about money? It matters. But not the way you might think. If you live in poverty and can’t cover your basics, every dollar earned increases happiness and life satisfaction. Once your living expenses are comfortably covered, though, more money has little, if any, effect on happiness.”

3. Embrace The Present Moment

Refrain from getting stuck in previous failures. What’s gone is gone, and avoid thinking about the future. You still control what happens but cannot predict your next step. So what’s the point of worrying about it? Live in the present moment and enjoy this moment in which you are alive. There is much to be gained from being present moment orientated such that you take in the beauty of life around you and release stress levels. The well-acclaimed Buddhist author Ezra Bayda affirms this message in his book The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear: “In short, happiness doesn’t come from making happiness the goal—it comes from being able to appreciate the journey, particularly the present-moment experience of our life.”

4. Opt For Joy

Don’t hesitate to step away to re-establish your goals and have a flexible approach. This understanding requires an open mind and positive thinking. You have to choose happiness. You are never stuck with a single perspective. You decide how to deal with conditions in your life. You either accept failure while developing a positive attitude or shift into negativity, which does nothing to help you move toward happiness. No matter what happens, there will be another day, and conditions will continually change. Accept changes with an open mind, and life will unfold better than you imagine. “Real happiness comes not when you choose to be happy, but when you discover the things that will make you happy and then do them,” affirms author Jonathan Fields.

5. Cultivate Connections

Humans are social creatures. There is no denying it; you can’t acquire happiness unless you are in contact with others regularly. Love is vital for your health and well-being. If you distance yourself from others, negative emotions abound. In this time of technological connectedness, people are more isolated and lonely than ever, giving rise to mental health issues. Cherish those close to you. For instance, research has shown that married people get more life satisfaction than their single counterparts. This sense of fulfillment underscores the significance of fostering close connections and intimacy to promote well-being.

“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama XI

6. Focus On Your Path

While it’s good to be ambitious, envy will only make you unhappy. Comparison with others has a specific limit. We can become overly invested in the lives of others and lose track of our journey. Everyone’s circumstances differ from yours, and comparing yourself to others will only take you down a road of emptiness and misery. While other people’s lives may look cheerful from the outside, there is always a hidden story behind the scenes which we’re unaware of. It will help you to learn things from others, but more competition won’t help you to maintain your peace of mind. Focus on your dreams and goals, and enjoy your achievements and success.

7. Release Worries

Most of us worry about something, but 90% of our worries do not come to pass. We worry about the future, but we know the future is uncertain. Most of us think of the worst that can happen and continue to worry and fixate on it. Stop worrying and live your life for today instead of worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Don’t worry about what others think of you. When you stop worrying, you can be your true self. Remember, no matter what you do or who you are, you can never please everyone. If you please some people, you will offend others. So it’s essential to be yourself. I enjoy author Mary O’Malley’s perspective in her book What’s in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life, where she states: “If your happiness is dependent on Life being a particular way, it is a given that the flow of Life will eventually dissolve the circumstances that are bringing you happiness, just like the tide washes away your writing in the sand.”

8. Nurture Positivity

Without a positive outlook, there can be no happiness. To follow the advice mentioned above, try to maintain a positive outlook toward life. As I have seen in my own life, everything happens for our highest good, even if we are unaware of it at the time. Have you recently been fired from a job? A new and exciting career is waiting for you, which you would not have considered if you were in the same position. Add a twist of positivity to everything that transpires in your life, and you’ll find your life changing for the better. In his book Falling into Grace, spiritual author and teacher Adyashanti touches on this idea: “Most of us don’t want to be bothered. We don’t want our search for happiness to be difficult. What we want is to be given happiness on a platter. But to find true happiness, we must be willing to be disturbed, surprised, wrong in our assumptions—and cast into a bottomless well of unknowing.”

Considering this, take a moment to reflect and write in your journal a recent instance that filled you with joy—a small delight, a meaningful connection, or a personal triumph. Share the details in your journal, including the emotions and sensations it brought forth. Consider how you can weave more of these moments into your tapestry. In the symphony of life, pursuing happiness is not an external conquest but an inner harmony. By aligning our thoughts, actions, and intentions, we weave a tapestry of joy uniquely our own. As we journey forward, let Adyashanti’s wisdom resonate: “There’s no way to become happy. We need to stop doing the things that make us unhappy.” With this profound insight, we stand empowered to shape our reality, embrace the present, and forge a path toward lasting happiness.

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The Power Of Rock Bottom: How To Turn Adversity Into Opportunity

From Perseverance To Breakthroughs

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.” — William Arthur Ward

When we set out to achieve our ambitions, we often face challenges that make us want to give up. But if we persevere, we can reach our full potential. Whether we give up or keep going is a defining moment that shapes our destiny. We need wisdom to know when to hold on and let go. Wisdom is seeing the big picture and making decisions in our best interests. It is also the ability to learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals. Knowing when to hold on and when to let go guides us through life’s challenges. It helps us stay focused on our purpose and avoid making impulsive decisions that could derail us. In my experience, breakthroughs happen when we least expect them. However, we must work towards our plans and not sit on the sidelines waiting for circumstances to change. Life works in mysterious ways, and we never know when things will come to pass. We must work consistently to bring what is in our hearts and mind to reality. It is often darkest before dawn, when breakthroughs occur because life may test our commitment to our desires. Do we want it, and are we willing to go to great lengths to make it happen?

Why do we have to endure inner turmoil, frustration, and anger to reap the rewards of our hard work? I don’t claim to know how the universe functions, and I wouldn’t want to pressure myself or convince you I know the answers. Having noticed the themes in my life and those I’ve coached over the years, circumstances occur unexpectedly. Therefore, we mustn’t allow the timeline of events to deter us from realizing our heart’s desires. Are you comfortable with this idea? Can you see that your task isn’t to solve life but use the information given to you to pursue your highest ambitions? If we hold the seed of the potential within us, we mustn’t allow outside conditions to stop us from achieving our chief aim. We mustn’t let life impose itself on us because obstacles await us on every street corner. Some enjoy telling us how hard life is; if we buy into that narrative, we become one of them.

Overcoming Rock Bottom

“Even in our darkest moments, we can find the strength to rise. Rock bottom is not the end; it’s a chance to rebuild and soar higher.” — Unknown

You are reading this article because the wisdom within you seeks to overcome your challenges. The moment before the miracle can be a terrifying and, equally, the most breathtaking moment of our life. It is the point where we want to give up, and a turning point occurs no sooner than we do. I’ve experienced these moments throughout my life, including being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma over twenty years ago. My diagnosis convinced me it was the end of my time here, yet it was the opening to a doorway I never imagined. When we meet with powers outside our control, we are called to practice humility and open-mindedness toward life. There are many things beyond our scope of understanding and awareness. We cannot possibly know the boundless miracles that await us when we trust in the unfolding of our life. I’m not claiming that letting go and trusting is easy. I still have difficulties letting go in respective areas of my life. After being told I was in remission, it wasn’t easy to trust in life since I controlled numerous areas of my health to get through my treatment. Letting go of control is a challenge for me, yet I show up and notice where I am clutching and resisting and do my best to work through it.

Sometimes, we need to hit rock bottom to find our way again. Rock bottom means clearing away what is no longer working and starting again, this time with a clean slate. Life can change instantly, and what we hold dear can be stripped away. There is no roadmap for how life functions because it has its natural laws, irrespective of our resistance to them. Rock bottom needn’t be a place we stay but a transitory state to help us make sense of our challenges. We learn more about ourselves when we overcome obstacles. We know to prioritize what is important to us, especially when pushed beyond our limits. Most people thrive in idyllic conditions but struggle outside their comfort zone. Nothing tests our inner resolve like obstacles, especially those we don’t expect. We may not know when things will improve, but we must keep hoping it will. We must remain confident that our troubles will pass. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, life is cyclical, and what appears to be a difficult period is a cycle passing through our lives to teach us essential insights. Therefore, we ought to hold steady to our commitment to our visions, knowing the miracle will happen before our eyes at the right time.

Rock bottom can feel challenging, but it also brings a chance for positive change. When we hit rock bottom, we confront our problems, and things can improve. We can stay stuck in our sadness or use this time to build a better life. If we choose to develop, we come out of rock bottom stronger and wiser. We learn more about ourselves and what matters. We gain the inner strength to overcome any problem and learn to appreciate the good things we used to ignore. So, if you ever feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, remember it’s not the end. It’s a new beginning. Think about: What have you learned about yourself in tough times? What matters to you now? How can your challenging experiences make you stronger for the future? When you think about these things, remember that while rock bottom is hard, it’s also a chance to start fresh.

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How To Overcome Your Problems And Find Solutions On The Other Side

Embrace the Unknown

“The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” — Alan Watts

Have you ever experienced a sense of helplessness where you felt like things are beyond your control? No matter your actions, you can’t seem to get a break. If so, you’re not alone. Many people think this way at some point in their lives. But the truth is, life is not meant to be controlled. It operates under its natural laws, and we can only do our best to adapt and overcome. The good news is that problems are not meant to diminish our self-worth. They are growth opportunities. When we face challenges, we must dig deep and find our hidden strengths. We learn to be more resilient, resourceful, and compassionate. I don’t know your personal story, but my most significant growth occurred during immense, uncertain transitional periods. I didn’t know how to navigate these challenging times, but I took each day at a time. When we don’t know what lies around the corner, we mustn’t give up hope of a better future. Does this make sense that what you experience is not your final place but a transitional period for what’s to come? It makes it easier to stop clutching to our pain and disappointment and allow life to lead us to solutions. It’s often said that the obstacle is the way. The problem itself is a signpost showing us an answer. First, we must inhabit the darkness and transition through the storms of life to find our way out.

Each of us holds a great deal of untapped potential waiting to be explored and uncovered. We seldom activate it, preferring to stay in our comfort zone. It makes sense that we feel this way because life is complex, and who wants to put themselves through more unpleasant conditions? So, when difficulties arise, our instinct is to run away or defer the problem for a later time. But as you may know, what we put off can come hurtling towards us at a greater intensity. Remember: hard times don’t last long but awaken dormant powers we never knew we had. The intensity of our difficulties is different from the time they will last. Our willingness to accept and move through them is pivotal in overcoming our challenges. Acceptance means acknowledging the problem and doing all we can to overcome it. It means being better equipped to deal with further difficulties in the future.

From Problem to Opportunity

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Molière

So how do we let our problems lead us to solutions? First, we must accept what is occurring, as mentioned earlier. Acceptance does not mean resignation or apathy. It doesn’t mean things will stay the same either, nor we don’t take action. We take inspired and purposeful action, mindful of the growth and lessons. Therefore, change is never linear; sometimes, we may take two steps back and one step forward. It requires moving forward, even when we cannot see past our problems. The desire to be driven by our solutions is paramount to our success. We are only as successful as that which we overcome, which can change from time to time. I have experienced long periods where I felt disempowered by my hardship and difficulties. I wanted to escape my problems since they were too big to face. However, what followed was a period of inspired and purposeful action. Looking back, I can now see that period allowed me to rest and find positive solutions. When you are weary, it is time to rest because, in the coming weeks and months, you will need to take action to seize upon your challenges.

For this reason, life is cyclical; there are ebbs and flows we must follow instead of resisting them. If we don’t, we experience further pain and suffering and compound the problem by adding additional resistance. Valuable life lessons often stem from challenging times, even though nobody desires to go through them. These experiences can unlock our boundless potential. It is as though life is pushing us over a ledge to take the first step and will catch us when we fall. Otherwise, we will not leap in faith because we fear the unknown. Is this fear of the unknown something you can identify with? Have you ever hesitated to take a significant risk because you feared the unknown? We usually contemplate these fears since we want to be in control as much as we can. Some things are not within our control, and the critical point of this article is, even during the difficult periods of your life, your greatest lessons can take place. It requires an open mind and a willingness to move forward, regardless of what occurs. It involves trusting in your next step without seeing the entire staircase. This sense of trust is where we gain confidence in life and our ability to co-create our life with universal laws.

Stepping Beyond Comfort

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” — Rabindranath Tagore

Our journey in life is an ever-evolving process, with each challenge presenting an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Our challenges sometimes seem impossible, but they serve as gateways to unlocking our true potential. By embracing the journey with open arms, we realize that our problems are not roadblocks but stepping stones leading us to our desired destination. When faced with difficulties, it is natural to seek comfort and security within the familiar confines of our comfort zone. Stepping into the unknown can be daunting, but it is often where the magic happens. As we venture beyond our self-imposed limitations, we tap into reservoirs of resilience and strength we never knew existed. Life’s trials are not designed to break us but to shape us into more profound and resilient beings. Each challenge we encounter brings an opportunity for introspection and growth. By confronting our problems head-on, we cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. Moreover, overcoming obstacles builds resilience and prepares us for future challenges. Just as a muscle grows stronger with each workout, our ability to navigate difficulties improves with every problem we face. Life’s difficulties, therefore, are not hindrances but blessings in disguise, propelling us toward a more fulfilling and purposeful existence.

With this understanding, I invite you to journal your thoughts and feelings. Find a quiet space, grab a pen and paper, or open a digital document, and begin writing freely. Express your thoughts about your challenges and how they made you feel. Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned and the strengths you’ve discovered within yourself. As you journal, consider these questions:

How have you handled difficulties in the past, and what did you learn from those experiences? What opportunities did you find within the challenges?What aspects of yourself did you uncover during those transitional periods?Additionally, contemplate the fears of the unknown that might be holding you back from taking certain risks or embracing change.Are there specific areas in your life where you resist stepping beyond your comfort zone? Why might that be?

Throughout this process, be kind to yourself and remember that growth is a continuous journey. There is no right or wrong way to approach these exercises; it’s all about exploring your thoughts and emotions honestly. In the face of adversity, it is crucial to maintain hope and a positive outlook. Difficult times may seem unending, but they are transient phases that will eventually pass. By holding on to hope and envisioning a brighter future, we equip ourselves to weather the storms and emerge stronger on the other side. We are not alone in this journey. Support from loved ones who understand our struggles can provide solace and encouragement. Sharing our burdens and seeking guidance from others can illuminate new perspectives and the path to solutions. After all, life’s challenges are not to be feared or avoided but embraced as opportunities for growth and transformation. By accepting that difficulties are inherent in the human experience, we free ourselves from the shackles of fear and open our hearts to infinite possibilities. Each problem we encounter is a stepping stone that brings us closer to realizing our true potential and living a life of fulfillment and purpose. Therefore, embrace the journey, for within it lies the keys to unlocking the boundless power within you.

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Unlock Your Inner Strength: How To Overcome Insecurities With Confidence

Unlock Your Inner Strength

“The only limits you have are the limits you believe.” — Wayne Dyer

What does it feel like to fully accept the possibilities of your own power? Are you aware of your potential, or do you embrace uncertainty and discomfort? The impact of our insecurities can affect our personal growth on many levels. We usually feel uneasy when we lack the know-how or capabilities in certain areas of our lives. Therefore, if we remain in our comfort zone for too long, there is a greater chance we will experience insecurity and a lack of confidence. That’s why it’s imperative we examine avenues for conquering our insecurities and fostering confidence in our lives.

So, how does our self-doubt manifest itself after all? We may experience fear, doubt, and a sense of helplessness when we venture outside of our comfort zone. This is also true in our personal and professional life. Our repressed thoughts and beliefs, which we have allowed to become part of our identity, are what manifest as our insecurities. But left unexamined, they can grow bigger and dominate our life. In other words, they become untold stories that take on a life of their own because we have bought into the narrative they espouse. Does this sound familiar to you? For instance, think of a limiting belief that you have accepted as true. How has this belief affected your life and personal development? Reflect on this over the coming paragraphs as I highlight the ways we can overcome our insecurities with confidence.

In order to conquer our anxieties, it is necessary we become aware of ourselves and recognise our issues. This requires courage, vulnerability and honesty. Examining unfavourable aspects of ourselves is not for the faint-hearted because we will discover things about ourselves we don’t like. For instance, to help my coaching clients become more aware of their insecurities and limiting beliefs, I suggest they notice their negative feelings through journaling. Whilst a majority of my clients want to learn how to speed up getting rid of their negative emotions, I instruct them to begin by recognising what they are feeling. Sometimes, there are layers of limiting beliefs hidden below the surface which have accumulated over the years. So, it is imperative they learn to notice them so they can understand the nature of the negative emotions.

Embrace Uncertainty And Growth

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” — Abraham Maslow

Once we identify our limiting beliefs, we must challenge the beliefs. There are many practices to investigate our beliefs, but one practise I have used successfully over the years is that of Byron Katie’s The Work. It is a self-enquiry method and a form of cognitive therapy designed to help individuals challenge and question their thoughts and beliefs. The goal of The Work is to identify and investigate thoughts that cause suffering and to shift our perspective to find inner peace. The Work comprises four simple questions and what Katie refers to as “turnarounds”:

Is it true? This question encourages us to examine the validity of our beliefs and thoughts.Can you absolutely know that it’s true? This question challenges us to consider the certainty of our beliefs.How do you react when you believe that thought? This question helps us explore the emotional and behavioural consequences of holding onto our thoughts.Who would you be without the thought? This question invites us to imagine how our lives would be different if we didn’t have the particular thought.

By engaging in this process of enquiry, we can gain clarity, reduce stress, and experience personal transformation by questioning and re-framing our thoughts. The Work can apply to various aspects of our life, including relationships, work, self-esteem, and emotional well-being.

The Work is a practice of self-exploration, allowing us to observe our thoughts and reframe them. When we resist our thoughts because we disapprove of them, we experience suffering. I compare it to slamming down on the accelerator in a car while speeding down the freeway in a panicked state. To slow down, we must take our foot off the accelerator, letting the car naturally slow, and press the brake lightly to come to a complete stop. Whilst I’m using a simple analogy, the same principle applies to redirecting our limiting beliefs. That is, we must notice our limiting beliefs and gradually shift our attention away from them through self-enquiry. Ultimately, we must try to understand the nature of our thoughts so we can redirect them towards a more peaceful state. Moreover, it requires accepting our limiting beliefs without judgement. Self-criticism keeps us stuck in the past processing pain, instead of fostering equanimity and inner peace.

Personal Growth Through Self-Confidence

“You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” — Brian Tracy

Does this idea appeal to you? Could you give yourself the gift of observing your thoughts instead of ruminating on them? To overcome our insecurities, we must practice being kind to ourselves and allow space for the range of emotions we experience. Confidence arises through self-awareness and self-acceptance. It doesn’t mean we have to like our thoughts, but we mustn’t hate ourselves because we are experiencing negativity from time to time. This is natural and part of the human condition. Our thoughts will ebb and flow depending on certain factors in our life. For instance, many self-help books and articles espouse the idea of positive self-talk and positive affirmations, but I don’t accept this advice because this is masking the real problem; addressing our core wounds.

So if we wish to gain the confidence to overcome our insecurities, we ought to set achievable goals in the respective areas of our life to boost our confidence. For example, if we are anxious about talking to strangers due to social anxiety, we might start with a simple goal of making eye contact with people as we go about our day. In the following month, we might extend our boundaries ever so slightly by meeting a stranger’s gaze and offering a warm smile. What’s important here is not the act of overcoming social anxiety, as much as the confidence we gain from overcoming our insecurities. We must gradually extend our discomfort zone instead of remaining imprisoned by our limiting beliefs. Will it be terrifying at first? Yes, of course, but that doesn’t mean you are incapable of overcoming your insecurities.

It requires patience, understanding and self-compassion to identify areas of our life not benefiting us. What is more, it requires discipline and self-motivation to work on these insecurities until we see positive changes. But this is the role of personal development; to extend our discomfort zone and embrace aspects of ourselves obscured from sight. By bringing our unconscious thoughts to the surface, we will discover new facets of our identity. Is this something you’re willing to try? Could you embrace your insecurities with confidence gradually over time? The only way to know is to start small and work towards something you wish to overcome. After all, to embrace our true potential requires the willingness to overcome our insecurities with confidence. It is then we can recognise our true nature hidden beneath the facade of a distorted illusion.

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Don’t Let Setbacks Deter You: How to Stay Motivated and Focused on Your Goals

The Power of Persistence

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” — Vince Lombardi

In the journey of life, obstacles often come our way, testing our resolve and determination. However, it is crucial to recognise we can transform these obstacles into opportunities for growth and success. When setbacks become repetitive, it is easy to lose motivation and enthusiasm towards our goals and dreams. We might perceive the obstacles as insurmountable, overshadowing our ability to find alternative ways to overcome them. But it is during such moments that a change in perception becomes vital; choosing to view our problems through the lens of positivity rather than negativity. The key lies in cultivating the right mindset to navigate through challenges.

Persistence, it seems, hinges on mindset and having a strong enough reason to overcome pain and disappointment. It is about realising we have nothing to lose and everything to gain by advancing towards our goals, even in the face of setbacks. Failure and disappointment should not deter us unless we allow them to. While it may seem that our problems are insurmountable, it is essential to acknowledge that countless individuals have experienced similar setbacks throughout their lives, yet overcome them and gained self-confidence. Do you have a similar experience to draw upon? Do you frequently find yourself running into the same issues? What wisdom have you gained from those experiences?

Rather than trying to change the external world and circumstances, true transformation starts from within ourselves. If we have experienced difficulties and repeatedly failed to change our circumstances, life is calling us to delve deeper into our inner world for profound change. This may sound like New Age mumbo-jumbo to some, but the words come from personal experience and the wisdom gained from coaching numerous individuals on their journeys. It is a testament to the power that resides within us, a power not to be taken lightly but harnessed frequently. The human imagination is aligned with a greater intelligence, be it referred to as God, source, infinite potential, or even nothingness. The understanding lies in the fact we are connected to a vast intelligence that transcends our comprehension. This invitation is not to believe in something outside ourselves if one does not already, nor is it an endorsement of religion. Rather, it is an encouragement to appreciate the untapped potential within each of us, to recognise the immense power we possess.

The Importance of a Compelling Reason

“If you don’t have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning, you’re never going to be a great success.” — Zig Ziglar

In the pursuit of our dreams, we often discover that losing can teach us more than winning ever could. It is through our losses and setbacks that we gain a deeper understanding of our tenacious spirit and unwavering determination. The path to success is often paved with failures and setbacks, leading us closer to achieving our goals. Many individuals, once they achieve success, become complacent and cease doing what it took to reach that pinnacle. They neglect the necessary actions, abandon their habits, and lose their discipline. Success, however, should not be viewed as reaching the top of a mountain and declaring the journey complete. Adopting such an attitude places success at risk of being taken away. Complacency can lead to losing everything one has worked hard for, necessitating starting anew. The power of persistence lies in maintaining momentum and avoiding stops and starts. To achieve the success we deserve, we must discover a compelling reason and find a powerful motivation.

Relying on external factors to propel us forward is risky, as life has a way of intervening and causing us to drop the baton, potentially losing the race. As someone who has come this far, it is clear you are not one to give up easily. Therefore, remain committed and enthusiastic about the smallest daily actions that lead toward your goals. Develop strategies to stay disciplined and unwavering, ensuring that minor obstacles do not derail your progress. Could you do this? Could you give yourself the gift of dedication and focus in reaching your goals? This question requires your answer, and if you feel lost, pause and think it through.

Personally, my compelling reason stems from the loss of my father to illness and my battle with Hodgkin’s lymphoma decades ago. I have written about these experiences in my book, The Power To Navigate Life: Your Journey To Freedom. Confronting mortality has instilled in me the value of cherishing every moment, recognising life as a precious gift to be savoured. It is essential to pursue what resonates deeply with our inner selves and not allow insignificant events to plunge us into despair. While anguish and heartache may be part of the journey, we mustn’t linger in our problems. The adage “fall down seven times, get up eight” should be imprinted in our psyche. We mustn’t allow anything or anyone to halt us from achieving what we have set out to do. This remarkable life is too precious to leave to chance. It holds too much value to dwell on what could have been. Therefore, seize the opportunity, take action, and pursue your dreams with unwavering commitment, giving every ounce of yourself, just like a sponge wrung of water. Only then can you claim to have truly engaged with life and gained immeasurable returns.

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The Rocky Balboa Quote That Will Inspire You to Never Give Up

The Power Of Perseverance Through Adversity

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” — Randy Pausch

Ponder your answers to the following questions. When faced with difficulties and struggles, how do you respond? Do you play victim or do you see them as an opportunity to engage your inner strength and work through the problem? Your response to the question will tell you how you handle difficulties.

In 2006, American actor Sylvester Stallone wrote and directed a movie based on the story of Rocky Balboa, a former heavyweight boxing champion who retired from the sport and seizes the opportunity to step back into the ring. During the film, Rocky Balboa delivers a powerful message to his son, Rocky Jr. about the importance of perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity. He says: “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

What do you think he meant by that passage? What lasting impression does it leave you with? For me, it signifies that life is not always easy, and we will face many challenges and adversities. But it is a reminder that even if we stumble, we have the strength to keep going and push through our challenges. Even when life throws us its toughest challenges, we must push ourselves to keep going instead of lingering in our sorrow. Expressed differently, we have to find the courage and resilience to overcome any challenge, no matter how daunting; by staying strong and never losing faith in ourselves. Similarly, despite how tough life can be, we mustn’t give up on ourselves because we don’t know when the tides will turn in our favour. Through our hardships, we gain valuable insights that will transform us into the person we will become. Do you believe this to be true? Have you experienced difficulties and hardships that shaped you into the person you are today?

I’ve experienced many hardships throughout my life, which I wrote about in my first book, The Power To Navigate Life. I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness in my early twenties and some years later; lost my father to complications from type II diabetes. This occurred within the space of a short period and it changed my life in several ways. I uncovered a deep well of strength within me; I call spirit, which held me through my struggles and guided me to the future I wanted to live. I don’t need to remind you of the harsh realities of the world. It is an unforgiving place, filled with difficulties and challenges. When life knocks a person down, it feels like a succession of blows, shaking them to their very core. Rocky’s speech emphasises that true winning is getting knocked down, but having the resilience of getting back up and continuing the journey. It is not about retreating, nor is it about claiming we are victims of our circumstances. It requires developing the resilience to face our hardships and not let ourselves succumb to the ravages of life.

So how can we use this quote to inspire us? First, we must appreciate hardships help us grow and develop because challenges are part of the human experience. We cannot wish away our difficulties, but we can learn to become resilient in the face of them. Second, it can inspire us to persevere through tough times because assuredly they will come when we least expect it. It doesn’t matter your age, ethnicity, social status or otherwise. Hardships and challenges do not discriminate, they hit every one of us. Therefore, we ought to develop the strength to withstand our challenges without becoming mired in them. We must open our mind and heart to the possibilities of growth and development that our challenges present us with. Difficulties are a part of life, and they force us to grow, reshaping us into someone new. They force us to become resilient and, for some, it helps them develop compassion for others who are going through a similar experience. It softens us in places that were once hard and unforgiving. Nature has a way of pushing us beyond our boundaries until we think we can no longer go on, and then it rewards us with a glimmer of hope.

Finding Strength In Trying Times

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” — Maya Angelou

History is filled with successful people who faced hardships and overcome them. I’m reminded of Oprah Winfrey, who was born into poverty and experienced sexual abuse as a child. She overcame these challenges to become one of the most successful women in the world, as a talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist. Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with ALS at 21. He was given only a few years to live, but he defied the odds and became one of the most brilliant physicists of our time. As mentioned earlier, I faced two major ordeals in my early 20s, with a major health scare and later losing my father to illness. Even though I knew the diagnosis was not survivable, the experience changed me in ways I could never have imagined. I won’t lie, it scared the hell out of me. However, I kept pushing forward, feeling a hope that something greater than me was watching over me. You see, when we don’t have a choice, we are called to become a greater version of ourselves. In the moments when we are scared, or uncertain about the future, we transcend our mortal selves and develop the inner strength to overcome the misfortunes life will throw at us.

Do you agree? For instance, how did you get through the difficult periods of your life? Who did you become as a result of those experiences? In the Rocky quote, he says: “It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward? That’s how winning is done!” This is a powerful statement because it captures the essence of what we all experience; the constant forces of life acting upon us. Right now, people around the world are struggling to make ends meet due to the rapidly increasing cost of living, facing the dire consequences of climate change, suffering due to disease and conflict, etc. These conditions affect people in a multitude of ways. Even with the toughest of times, we must consider how far we are willing to go and will we keep pushing ahead. What Rocky Balboa is talking about is resilience. Are we willing to develop the resiliency to overcome our challenges, instead of believing we are victims? Are we willing to dig deep within ourselves and find the spark of hope to illuminate the darkness? This is what winning is about; winning in the face of our difficulties and hardships.

So, are you willing to become the person who can confront their struggles and keep going, no matter what? Instead of saying “Why me?”, do you look for ways to grow from the experience? Can you ask yourself: “What am I meant to learn from this experience?” These are questions we ought to ask ourselves when we face insurmountable hardships. Because buried within our problems lies a powerful reservoir of untapped potential waiting to come alive. We must excavate through the pain and suffering to discover the truth of who we are amidst the rubble of despair and anger. Only then we will be inspired not to give up, and keep moving forward no matter how tough life may get.

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Breaking Free From The Comparison Trap: Why It’s Time To Embrace Your Own Journey

The Negative Impact of Comparison

“Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.” — Brené Brown

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough? Like you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and coming up short? If so, you’re not alone. Comparing ourselves to others is a natural human tendency, but it can have a negative impact on our self-esteem and happiness. Everyone compares themselves to others, and no one is immune from the destructive habit. Comparing ourselves to others highlights our shortcomings, making us realise we are not reaching our full potential. So, over the coming paragraphs, I’ll explore the dangers of comparing ourselves to others and offer you tips to break free from the comparison trap, to live an authentic life.

The dangers of comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and self-doubt because we feel we are not good enough or doing our best. But if we use others as a measure of our own success, we are making a judgement based on our initial observations. In other words, it is impossible to compare ourselves to other people because we are complex individuals. For instance, if you compare your introverted nature to your close friend, who is always the life of the party, it is not a correct comparison because you are looking at two opposing personality types. You are creating a distorted perception, where to be more accurate, being more sociable might involve attracting unwanted attention.

Comparison gives us the wrong impression that we are not perfect and may lead to depression and anxiety. When we direct our attention to what is wrong in our lives, it becomes our primary focus and the more time we dwell on it, the more we recognise our failures. We cannot consider how other components of our lives may be more beneficial, and this limited view doesn’t do justice to the bigger picture. To put it differently, when you compare yourself to your sociable friend, you fail to consider all the positive attributes you have. Making comparisons can be damaging, as we become focused on one attribute without seeing all of our other positive traits. To make a fair comparison with other people, we need to consider each of our strengths and weaknesses and have them evaluated by an unbiased source. I’m aware I’m making an overstated assumption when we compare ourselves to other people, but that’s just what we do.

The Inaccuracy of Comparison

“Comparison is the root of all feelings of inferiority. The moment you begin comparing yourself to others is the moment you lose sight of your own greatness.” — Robin Sharma

Can you see why comparing ourselves to others is difficult to measure? Assessing ourselves against other people is rooted in negative comparison, and there is no way of determining whether we are doing well in that area. So, how can we break free from the comparison trap? How can we find fulfilment in our lives without comparing ourselves to others? To break free from the comparison trap requires focussing on our own journey, rather than on the lives of other people. To make progress in an area of our life, we should look at what isn’t functioning properly and collaborate with a mentor, coach, or someone we trust to help us make improvements.

We are all on our own unique paths to success and fulfilment, and there are many ways to get there. Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t be afraid to take risks and try new things. Even though it may appear other people are doing well, they may be falling short in other areas. As an example, I’ve coached hundreds of people over the years who appeared to be successful upon first impression. After getting to know them better, they admitted to failing in other areas of life which they regretted. For instance, those who are succeeding in their professional careers may neglect their family due to overworking and, as a result, their relationships suffer. Similarly, their health may suffer because of working too hard to achieve success. Comparison is a negative use of our time and energy that does not improve our life.

Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” — Jon Acuff

Other ways to break free from the comparison trap are to focus on our goals and dreams and make it our priority. For instance, what do you want to achieve in life? What makes you happy? What are your highest aspirations? What is your purpose if you believe you have one? We ought to focus on these pursuits and give them our attention. When we are pursuing our passions, it makes us come alive and there is no time for comparison. There is no room for comparison when you are busy pushing yourself to excel and accomplishing your goals. Therefore, I encourage you to focus on getting ahead in life instead of comparing yourself to others. Could you do it? Could you stop comparing yourself to others from this point forward and focus on the person you wish to become? What qualities do you need to cultivate to become the person you dream of becoming? Start working on that image and allow yourself to become that person instead of wishing for something that isn’t yours.

It’s important to mention here the role social media plays in the comparison trap. Social media has become a façade, where people curate a false version of their life to appear more desirable. Professionally speaking, there are few people in the world who have their life in order, no matter how successful, rich, healthy, or madly in love they are. As humans, we are imperfect creatures and subject to life’s laws, so naturally we will experience heartbreak, pain, and all the trappings of life on earth. Not that we can’t be happy or fulfilled, even when life isn’t unfolding as we wish. Rather, it is where we focus our attention that becomes central to whether we are happy or depressed.

If you’ve gained anything from this article, I hope it is this: be kind to yourself because everyone makes mistakes and you are no exception. It is part of the human condition to make mistakes, and the notion of perfection does not exist. We ought to focus on self-improvement and personal excellence because it’s okay to fail. It’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay to be working it out as you go along. It’s okay not to know your place in the world. Who said you need to have life worked out? Life is a complex puzzle, and if you give yourself some breathing space and the opportunity to learn, you may eventually figure it out. But until then, go easy on yourself and do the best you can, given your circumstances. Considering this, as an exercise, I invite you to write two or three favourable qualities in each area of your life. For example, health, finances, career, relationships, community, purpose, etc. If something needs improvement, write it down and list how you can improve in this area. After all, breaking free from the comparison trap is difficult, but it is possible. If you are determined to stop comparing yourself to others and live a happier, more fulfilling life, you will achieve this as long as you don’t give up on yourself.

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