Tushar Mangl's Blog, page 11

Indira - India's Most Powerful Prime Minister - Sagarika Ghose - Book Review

Plenty of books have been written on Indira Gandhi, one of the most powerful and ambitious politicians modern India has witnessed. Veteran journalist, Sagarika Ghose in her attempt at another biography scripts an interesting tale of the former Prime Minister. Born to an illustrious family, Indira Gandhi no doubt had an eventful life and an eventful career as a politician.

The book comes across a well researched,detailed text on Mrs. Gandhi's time and life. The chapters have an addition in forms of open letters kinda concept wherein the author pens a letter to the late leader, perhaps in hopes of better questions and answers, relevant to those periods of time.

Publisher - Juggernaut

Genre - Biography/History

Price - Rs. 499

Pages - 342

You will Love Again - Dr Shyam Bhat - Book Review

This one is a guidebook for people dealing with heartbreak. Dr. Shyam Bhat explores this seemingly significant issue effecting mental health of so many around us. While we keep giving or receiving random gyan on the subject, Dr. Bhat brings in professional expertise and years of experience as a practicing psychiatrist to answer some important questions about heartbreak.


It is a short and precise book, 147 pages in all but the subject matter is well explained and the addition of stories and anecdotes does help. The book has been published by Juggernaut. Its not just for those who are dealing with a heartbreak. Its also helpful for those whose closed ones are dealing with one. It gives us a level of wisdom and understanding to realize what the other person is going through.
Price - 250Genre - Self Help/Non-Fiction

You will Love Again - Dr Shyam Bhatt - Book Review

This one is a guidebook for people dealing with heartbreak. Dr. Shyam Bhat explores this seemingly significant issue effecting mental health of so many around us. While we keep giving or receiving random gyan on the subject, Dr. Bhat brings in professional expertise and years of experience as a practicing psychiatrist to answer some important questions about heartbreak.


It is a short and precise book, 147 pages in all but the subject matter is well explained and the addition of stories and anecdotes does help. The book has been published by Juggernaut. Its not just for those who are dealing with a heartbreak. Its also helpful for those whose closed ones are dealing with one. It gives us a level of wisdom and understanding to realize what the other person is going through.
Price - 250Genre - Self Help/Non-Fiction

Friday Musings - Of Betrayals and Disappointments

Its been a while since I last blogged and readers have been inquiring as to whats happening.I last posted here in September, but their had been trouble in life since August. Things peaked up in October and are finally setting down. 


This time has given me more space to introspect as to how easy it is for people to disappoint you. You sometimes don't even expect anything great out of them, and it turns out that they still manage to disappoint you. With their negativism, insecurities, they still manage to scratch your soul and try to harm your inner peace.
I have long believed that its during time such as these you see the real faces of people around you. How many would be happy to be at your side and how many will jump ship, gives you a clarity of what is happening around you.
I seldom expect from people. Humans have a predictable tendency to betray and be thankless for what they gain. I am a positive person who portrays an awful indifference to abuse or hurt. But off late, these negativeness, the jealousies, the anger, has taken a huge toll on me. 
And despite all this, all I can wonder is about those others in a situation like me. The brave who are battling the angst of the World. And still getting up each morning after sleepless nights, to find another set of people turned against them. I wish I could be as good as them at dealing with this World. Or, I was just great at forgetting. Yes, life would be much easier.

The Idol Thief by S. Vijay Kumar - Book Review

In this hardcover edition of Vijay Kumar's debut book, the reader is taken deep into the mysterious World of Art thievery. The nonfiction book could have very well been a thriller genre fiction about how a handful of volunteers team up to counter millions of dollars worth racket involving stolen art and artifacts. 
                         
More significantly, here we are talking about idols of Gods and Goddesses stolen from temples located in Tamil Nadu, a southern state in India. A well-oiled network of thieves, art dealers, businessmen aided by a complacent and apathetic government, managed to loot Temples of their prized artifacts, especially those which are like centuries old.
These were then exported abroad to be sold to fancy museums and art collectors. Yes, people like to buy Gods too! For their personal collection. What probably they failed into account was a group of proactive individuals, connected through the internet, unraveling this at times unintentionally and unknowingly as to what they were getting into. Their zeal was matched by a few individuals in the government investigative agencies who were doing a good job at their posts.
S. Vijay Kumar has been at the front of this mission. Being a blogger, he started writing about this and eventually became the face of the movement which unraveled the international art smuggling ring led by Subhash Kapoor. He owned an art gallery which sold and distributed art to wealthy buyers and museums, which threw caution to winds while purchasing such pieces completely against norms.
But as I was reading this gripping book, it dawned upon me, that how it is a story of one State in India. Since Independence, Indians have systematically plundered their own heritage by facilitating the sale of the priceless heritage left by our ancestors.
This story revolves around the Chola Artefacts. I am sure there are many other networks which need to be exposed.

Thursday Musings - Bitterness in our relationships

Its so easy to turn things sour in a relationship. In the society I see around me, trust deficit is rampant, communication, meaningful communication that is, almost scarce and ego larger than ever before. 
No wonder than, it takes very little to ruin a friendship, a relationship or any association with a few words of bitterness. But I was thinking last evening, how stupid it sounds, if I see the larger picture. Consider P & R. Lovers from past few years. Live in together. Had a horrible fight the other day, compelling R to move out of the apartment. You and I will on surface, think of it as a routine lovers tiff or some misunderstanding or an ego clash. It turns out that P shouted at R and one thing led to another and hell broke lose. Happens all the time. Even would be happening in some corner of the World as I write this.
What we never are able to see the larger picture. The larger picture contains the circumstances around which both individuals are evolving. The circumstances they bring to the table. I go deep into the P& R tiff like a nosy aunt and I realize, P had a rough meeting at office. R had got stuck in the grocery store for an hour because of some bill issues. It was a routine day with some bad moments. In privacy of their home, they just vented out the frustration. So the fight, which was a fight, was actually never a fight. It was just a collision. 
Was it bad? I don't think so. I know many of you would disagree. P (some other P this time, a former friend) used to always ask me, why I was at times bitter towards her. Even T (yes, former friend) used to ask me the same. I would often reflect upon it (for I love them as you love your closest friends) and tell them the same thing. With you guys, I can be myself. I don't need to up my mood, or act cheerful with you guys around. I am bitter at the moment, I am going to be same with you. They both exited my life soon after but I believe, if you can't be your raw self in a relationship especially close ones, what's the purpose of staying in one?
So bitterness according to me at least isn't bad. It's okay to let your guard down, you are human afterall. My friends might be rude to me at times, but doesn't mean that I should let the bitterness ruin things in a snap of judgement. If its too bothersome, we can talk to the other person about it. 
Memories are what are left, when we exist this over polluted Planet. Not how many friends we bought or sold out and for how much. Not how many loves we trampled upon. I say we should keep the bitterness to bare minimum. But next time a close one snaps on you, don't rush to judge or react. This is also human nature. People hide so many of their emotions for several reasons all the time. We never know what's been stirred inside.
Happens with parents too. If you see it that way. Parents sometimes scold children for no fault of theirs.

It can take a lot of emotional investment to build a meaning relationship. The trouble is not only why a person was bitter, but also how the other person reacted to it. 

Tuesday Musings - Random Scribbles

I have been staring at this blank screen for some time now, thinking what to write. Words usually come to me, quite easily but off late their has been a drought. I am yet stuck on what story to write next, even though I have several ideas stuck in some unknown part of my heart. My health has taken a big beating in 2018 and off late, I have really gotten weak and frail for unknown reasons. My vitals are healthy and my diet reflects how I am in pink of health. 
Looks like I am going to miss both my books targets. Reading 100 books a year and writing at least 1. But the good part is, we still have a few months left in 2018 and lot of life in me, to achieve my targets. 
The good part of being down, and I love this part, is to see the people around you, lifting you up, motivating you, cheering you up. Its as if the dark phases have an unusual glory to them. When you know, someone has been your side., you know they will be their when light comes in. Those who didn't give a damn to your darkness, well are they worth having around?
One hobby I am introducing back to my life is gardening. My father and my grandfather used to manufacture these range of garden tools (family used to manufacture a hell lot of things, way back before Made in China came into vogue) I always found fascinating. We used to have a lawn at home and a garden at dad's factory. Grandpa's factory didn't even have a space for a pot I guess, so a lot of gardening etc. happened in the unit which dad ran. And I used to love going around the greens, appreciating their beauty, their significance, and how different tools, could do wonders to a patch of green. 
With time, it remained as a minor hobby for me, as I brought in some plants and kept them home. Now myself away from home, I certainly crave at times for a patch of green of my own. Especially because for urban India, greenery is a just a hindrance for that extra room, for an extra car park or that wide road, to zoom pass expensive toys ran on fossil fuels. So I am giving into that calling and trying to nurture a couple of plants. I don't know if I am the nurturing types, still I think its worth a shot. 
I have been always vocal about having a hobby which is not digital related. Do you have an active hobby or a hobby you are keen to pursue? 

Saturday Musings - The Baggage of Past and Friendships of Present

I was talking to a colleague the other day, B, about how love and friendships are best done at school. Their is a certain level of pureness, a simplicity, a lack of awareness about the other person. You just click, with another person. I feel, its like a jigsaw puzzle thing. Two pieces just join and if they don't fit, easily separate away.



Growing up, people start accumulating baggage. We start becoming more aware about the society, perceptions and most importantly the importance of having a stereotype of a friend. Like, someone who is good for my career, or someone to vent out, or someone to share liquor with. We start forming our friendships (its an over abused word, friendship if you ask me but that we will discuss another day) according to set parameters. Like its good to have a rich friend and not good to have a too poor friend. Sudama and Krishna do not happen in 2018. 
Slowly as we grow and ease into our society, parameters keep piling up. Even in educated, well qualified people, I feel the reek of casteism. Duryodhan doesn't befriend Karna in 2018 for his talent or skill. He will sideline him for his cast. Its important to hang out with the right people you see. 
But the most interesting aspect, I find is how often we bring our past into present relationships. Here I will narrate a story (keeping real names confidential for privacy concerns) of  Zahra. So Zahra met this guy at work and bonded well enough, for two people who work long hours at the same place. I am calling this guy Mark. So Mark and Zahra are these cool new gen people who admire each other professionally and personally but can't be friends. They have a lot of common interests but friendship is simply off the table. If you meet them today, you will find them engrossed in a deep conversation but they will introduce each other as co-workers working in the same building.
Zahra's experiences in the past, sets off the alarm bells ringing whenever she is in close proximity to Mark. She tells me, that if Mark would just go away someplace far, it would give her so much peace. Her past has forced her to set boundaries so stiff with Mark, that she herself feels suffocated at times. She admits that she is at ease with Mark when sharing things, she wouldn't share with anyone else. And Mark has been nothing but a thorough gentleman to her. "A kinda ideal friend with anger issues", she tells me. 
Mark is known to me as well. He is those kinds who will blabber and posture to hide his real personality. As humble as Zahra (a great commonality) he is a simple ordinary guy. Just another working class guy, trying to scrape a position for himself (in his words, miserably failing at the same). He too shared his story with me, which is remarkably similar to Zahra. 
He has had a series of failed friendships as in the kinds where you see betrayals by your closest friends. So much so he, had switched cities to avoid a face to face with his former friends. "Do you trust Zahra?" I asked him, when he told me his interactions with Zahra. "I don't want to." "But I do, and that's the problem." "It makes me so angry, makes my  blood boil." He told me. I am quoting his words verbatim to you so you know where he is coming from.
Now here I have, two people who could have been, good friends, for they have a mutual respect, a mutual trust, common interests, etc. Who knows, maybe they could have tried healing each other in distant future. But pop comes in the baggage of past, which they have tied to their heads and ankles. Which will not let them move forward, only motivate a step backward. And just hurt each other more. A hurt no one will ever see. Perhaps a story teller like me, but whose interest is only in the story. A hurt they won't show to anyone. Just another silent suffering, one among, many others we face all the time. 
Not all stories end this way. Or even happen this way. But a similar pattern is often observed. You will see so many probable friendships being ruined because people just stop talking to each other or avoid each other. The trust factor, people so talk about is also a baggage from the past. Our past experiences tell us, why trusting people soon is not that wow idea.
I myself don't like to label everyone I meet as a friend. The no. of friends I have, I can count on my right hand's fingers. My past relationships has taught me to be careful and patient. As a writer, and an enthusiast of words, I find it uncultured to label every working relationship, acquaintanceship, a chance encounter as a friend. You have to be a Krishna to a Sudama. You have to dig that depth, cultivate that meaning for a relationship to be classified as a friend. And trust that even then you might get it wrong. They all might come at my funeral, but how many will hold my hand at my sickbed? 
The baggage of our past, has some important learning for us. We cannot ignore them and should never ignore them. But it can be a burden for our future or present relationships. If you see the other side of it, starting all over again, with a clean slate is a hell lot of work. And so very uncertain. 
What do you say? Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Sunday Musings - The Morning Coffee

                                           Coffee Musings  
Musing about my morning coffee the other day, I realized, the right balance of flavors, companionship & conversations can make the simple coffee taste great. I mean we all know that, but still the thought struck me the other day as I had a delightful cup of coffee.

I like morning coffee for its fuel like effect. My typical workday starts with a cup of coffee. I was discussing this with my cousin, some years ago who was on a trip to India. We were discussing our work over coffee and he remarked how he likes to have a cup of coffee before starting his work day. Ditto, I remarked. A cup of good coffee just sets the right mood.
In my present workplace, we have this nice Coffee Machine, way better than the powder mix coffee machines so prevalent these days. It uses real coffee beans and milk, making the coffee actually taste like one. Unlike the premix ones. All those who have had it at some point of their lives, know what I mean.
In the past year or so, from the same machine, I have consumed like 80-90 cups. But the other day, a colleague, M,  prepared coffee for me in a different way. It was an odd thing for me. To request a co-worker for a cup of coffee from a machine, is an odd request. At least for me.
But M's coffee was getting famous and I just insisted one day to pour me a cup. It's a machine right? You just press some buttons and voila, a cuppa of caffeine, right in your hands. But M really had her way with the machine. After some persuasion she agreed and the coffee was way way better than the 90 odd cups I have had made. Same machine made coffee. Same buttons.
Which led me to wonder, how fixated we get at times in our comfort zones. In a make believe world, that whatever we are doing must be right. When the fact is, their is always a better way of doing things. Their is always a scope to move a notch above. Grandpa always taught me, to improvise the processes,whatsoever our work is. He says, their is always an innovative way to do the same thing. 
You have to do that. I think a lot of that can be achieved by learning and building a sense of curiosity. If their is no zeal to learn, how will I do, what Grandpa wants me to do?
True, M wont let me know the secret (I was told to wait at the desk, and will be beckoned when the coffee is ready, I was not allowed to watch), but at least I now know their is a better way. A better cup of coffee.
Lets move out of our comfort zones once in a while or just let other people in. For the fresh thoughts and a whiff of positive change. The same hairstyle, the same clothing sense, the same layout of furniture. How easily we get used to everything. How easily we believe that complacency is chill and to think of things is so uncool. 

As for the right balance of flavors, companionship & conversations. In M's coffee, somehow the coffee was just the right amount of bitter, sweet and frothy. I had an insightful conversation with her over coffee that day and wonders of wonders, she is not a coffee fan. She just makes a good brew. Like the sculptor who has no need for his sculptors, she just does it for her friends and family. 
Maybe that thought is the secret ingredient which spikes up the taste in her coffee. 

The point of taking and giving advice

I love giving advice. I have this theory that if someone can benefit from an experience I have had, then why not? Good information is always a positive aid. At least that is what I believe in. People love and hate me for that. Love for  the difference I have made. Hate for the overabundance of good advice. 
I mean, everyone wants an advice. But how many are ready to accept it in totem? Everyone likes their own version of customized, made to order advice.  No one likes the straight as a tequila shot variety. They want you to add that syrup, that juice, that spirit and place the right umbrella or a lemon wedge on the top of the glass. 
I however, give the straight, honest advice with the bitter truth as a garnish. Anyways, whats the point of taking advice if you are not even interested in following it? It's disrespectful to the other person's intelligence when we ask for an advice and conveniently dispose it off like a tissue paper at lunch. 
I am not talking about myself here, just general observation. We ask so many pieces of advice from so many people and then get lost in a sea of opinions of everyone other than self. A lot of it is given with right intention.
So what to do if we are swimming in a swathe of solicited and unsolicited advice?
1. Ask only 1 or 2 people for an advice on a topic. 2. Make sure you trust their opinion on the same.3. Respect the advice given and ponder over it.4. Don't take any advice on its face value. 5. Think well, form your own opinion on the matter on the basis of advice received. 
                             

Then your whole advice process becomes more structured and well meaning. The person giving advice will feel your gratitude. You will be genuinely happy to receive the support.  The whole quality over quantity thing will take center-stage here and bring you peace.
For giving advice always take care1. Only give advice for which you are yourself sure or expert in.2. Be precise. You are not narrating a recipe here. Keep it short.3. Be unbiased. Always.4. Respect the other person. And their opinions. Don't be overbearing.5. Don't bullshit. That's the reason, an advice is being sought from you. That you can offer something intelligent than bullshit.
Its not wrong to ask, its not wrong to tell. What is important is to communicate an advice well. 
So whats your advice to give and take advice?