Vaibhav Anand's Blog, page 21
May 21, 2014
Book Review: Clifton Chronicles by Jeffrey Archer
Reading "The Clifton Chronicles" is like reading the history of the Nehru/ Gandhi dynasty. It starts off somewhat mundane, becomes mildly interesting, a few scandals erupt and thereafter with each coming generation, it becomes more and more boring. Archer is a master at writing stories about characters developing over decades, as he demonstrates in his masterpiece “First Among Equals” but he seems to have bitten off more than he should have chewed with “The Clifton Chronicles”. The first book is soap-opera-ish with bastard sons, dalliances, mysterious disappearances and the sons of enemies becoming friends, etc. But what keeps the first book going is the deliciously dark character of Hugo Barrington, who is undoubtedly the most interesting character in the series.
Book One ends dramatically, compelling people to invest themselves in the second of the series. However, the drama soon peters off towards the end of Book Two and Book Three was so boring that I could not go beyond the first chapter.
If you want to read Jeffrey Archer, there are better books out there.
If you want to read a book series, there are better books out there.
May 19, 2014
Book Review: Hunger Pains by The Harvard Lampoon
I was fooled into buying this book by its blurb, a few surprisingly good reviews on Goodreads and a great discount on Amazon.While readable, the book is not laugh-out-loud funny. It does have some things going for it like the wacky names (eg: Haymitch Abernathy’s character is called "Buttitch", Katniss’ character is called “Kantkiss Neverclean”) and a few funny set pieces. However, I expected to read a serious parody of the Hunger Games and not an desperate attempt to be funny in every sentence, which the book eventually becomes. But I think what put me off (as it will almost everybody who reads it) is the incredible dumbness of Katniss/ Kantkiss’ character; it was simply too hard to accept and even if it was needed to be done, required much more finesse.
Read it, strictly if you are a Hunger Games fan.
Book Review: The Accidental Prime Minister by Sanjaya Baru
I finally finished the book that has had tongues wagging from South Block to South India and also, possibly contributed maybe ten odd incremental seats to the NDA. Baru begins the book by justifying his reasons for writing the book (i.e. showing Manmohan in a better light than the internet jokes circulated about him), using the example of foreign civil servants chronicling their service periods with politicians. It is a tragedy that more civil servants do not write about their life and times. I would love to read what the secretaries of Indira or Sonia had/ have to say about them.What makes ‘The Accidental Prime Minister’ most interesting is that it is a fly on the wall account of Manmohan Singh’s Prime Ministership. Baru quit the PMO before UPA 2 began; so the account is of the relatively rosier times of UPA 1. However, the book helps one understand where the skeletons that came out in UPA 2 originated. Baru writes quite frankly about the politics of the PMO – the power struggles between PMO officials – and also reveals Sonia’s attempts to pseudo-run the government through the NAC. What strikes one most when reading the account is that Manmohan was actually a brilliant tactician but what dragged him down was an inherent inability to speak effectively in public. His ability to swing the 123 Nuclear Deal with the US and the elaborately intricate maneuvers he resorted to in pushing the deal through, do help one absolve Manmohan of the stains he had suggested “history” would do for him.
The book becomes something of a drag towards the end with the Nuclear deal part getting over-elaborated. After a point, it seemed like the book was more about the Nuclear deal than Manmohan. But the book is voyeuristic enough, throughout its entirety, to be interesting.
Readable but not a must read... still, the book needs to be read to understand the history of UPA I and how it let our nation down.
May 18, 2014
Rahul lauds Congress’ escape velocity in 2014 elections, declares he shall form government on Jupiter
Dear Rahul, this is where you can go for a holiday now...
10 Janpath, Delhi: After his official press conference with mummy Sonia Gandhi in which he took responsibility for Congress’ defeat, Rahul Gandhi had another impromptu press conference when he barged into a news studio, declared the Modi wave ‘nonsense’ and most importantly grinned wildly. He also grabbed a laddoo from a reporter, saying he needed a ‘power laddoo’ to answer the reporters’ questions, whatever that meant.
“That is why I was smiling so much in the press conference with my mother,” Mr. Gandhi added. “I knew something the mediapersons did not. With this emphatic historic loss, Congress party has attained the escape velocity it needed to expand its politics to other planets.”
When asked which planet he was mulling the next Congress government on, Rahul thought for a few minutes, rolled up his sleeves, rolled them down, put his hands on his waist, put them in front of his groin and only then replied. “Mighty Raju has gone to Rio but I think we will go to Jupiter,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/18/rahul-lauds-congress-escape-velocity-in-2014-elections-declares-he-shall-form-government-on-jupiter/
10 Janpath, Delhi: After his official press conference with mummy Sonia Gandhi in which he took responsibility for Congress’ defeat, Rahul Gandhi had another impromptu press conference when he barged into a news studio, declared the Modi wave ‘nonsense’ and most importantly grinned wildly. He also grabbed a laddoo from a reporter, saying he needed a ‘power laddoo’ to answer the reporters’ questions, whatever that meant.
“That is why I was smiling so much in the press conference with my mother,” Mr. Gandhi added. “I knew something the mediapersons did not. With this emphatic historic loss, Congress party has attained the escape velocity it needed to expand its politics to other planets.”
When asked which planet he was mulling the next Congress government on, Rahul thought for a few minutes, rolled up his sleeves, rolled them down, put his hands on his waist, put them in front of his groin and only then replied. “Mighty Raju has gone to Rio but I think we will go to Jupiter,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/18/rahul-lauds-congress-escape-velocity-in-2014-elections-declares-he-shall-form-government-on-jupiter/
May 16, 2014
Book Review: Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron by Jai Arjun Singh
I picked this book up at the Bombay airport a few years ago and read it on my journey to Delhi. At that point, I just remembered ‘Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron’ as the movie that had that timelessly funny Mahabharat scene, which as college students we would watch on loop sometimes, on Youtube. The rest of the movie was a blurry memory for me (even though I had seen it).Jai Arjun Singh, however, clearly loved the movie with a passion much more infinite than the average Indian. And he does a great job in researching the origins of the movie and decoding the madness behind it. What comes out in the end is a masterpiece – an incredibly funny book – something I dare say might even be funnier than the movie. In any case, if you have seen the movie, you need to read this book to understand the movie.
The funniest parts for me were the revelation that the Indian Government (NFDC) was the sole sponsor of the movie (Surprising, isn't it?) and the revelation that there was a role played by Anupam Kher in the movie (as an extremely myopic assassin called ‘Disco Killer’) which was eventually edited away. Kher is supposed to be a crack assassin but all he can do is shoot mangoes off the tree under which Naseeruddin’s and Ravi’s characters were chatting.
I dare say I was surprised that the book was such a page turner. Highly recommended.
Rahul Gandhi loses in ‘Temple Run’, Congress leaders take ‘collective responsibility’
Dedicated to Congress' awesome spokespersons.
New Delhi: After losing in the National Elections by a comprehensive margin, Rahul Gandhi also happened to lose to a ten years old when the boy challenged him to play ‘Temple Run’ against him.This has forced Congress spokespersons to jump to his defense immediately after they had jumped to his defense for his failure in the general elections.
Rahul asking 10 year old boy to lend him his brain.After the arguments that ‘Rahul was too young to be blamed for the defeat’ and that the ‘defeat was due to the polarization of the ten years old by Modi’ failed to cut ice, the spokespersons were apparently forced to take the route of ‘collective responsibility’.“No no no… this is not Rahul Gandhiji’s defeat,” Salman Soz, one of the spokespersons for the Congress party, said, speaking on behalf of Rahul Gandhi, “Rahul Gandhiji was thinking of empowering poor people, empowering women and maybe a little bit about Chhota Bheem and hence, he was distracted when playing. It is not his fault at all.”“The Congress party takes collective responsibility for Rahulji’s defeat in Temple Run,” Soz added, “If we had solved the problems of poor people, women and err… Chhota Bheem earlier, Rahulji wouldn’t have had to worry about empowering them at all and hence, would not have lost at all. So all in all, this is all our collective fault.”http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/rahul-gandhi-loses-in-temple-run-congress-leaders-take-collective-responsibility/
Rahul asking 10 year old boy to lend him his brain.After the arguments that ‘Rahul was too young to be blamed for the defeat’ and that the ‘defeat was due to the polarization of the ten years old by Modi’ failed to cut ice, the spokespersons were apparently forced to take the route of ‘collective responsibility’.“No no no… this is not Rahul Gandhiji’s defeat,” Salman Soz, one of the spokespersons for the Congress party, said, speaking on behalf of Rahul Gandhi, “Rahul Gandhiji was thinking of empowering poor people, empowering women and maybe a little bit about Chhota Bheem and hence, he was distracted when playing. It is not his fault at all.”“The Congress party takes collective responsibility for Rahulji’s defeat in Temple Run,” Soz added, “If we had solved the problems of poor people, women and err… Chhota Bheem earlier, Rahulji wouldn’t have had to worry about empowering them at all and hence, would not have lost at all. So all in all, this is all our collective fault.”http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/rahul-gandhi-loses-in-temple-run-congress-leaders-take-collective-responsibility/
May 13, 2014
New movie starring Rahul Gandhi planned
Now that he's going to have all the time in the world... Satire.
May 11, 2014
Vadra to now buy out Accenture after its report praising Gujarat’s land acquisition model
Satire.
India’s most famous small farmer, Robert Vadra, is in the running to purchase Accenture’s India operations soon after a report by the company praising Gujarat’s land acquisition model released. People in the know of the deal said that the Gandhis had activated “Operation Vadra” after coming to know of Accenture’s betrayal.
“Mr. Vadra was getting fitted into gold plated pink pants when Soniaji called him, asking him to take vengeance on behalf of the Gandhi family,” a person close to the Gandhi family said, on condition of anonymity. “Vadraji got so excited at the prospect of making truckloads of money again that he ran out of the tailor’s emporium in his underpants.”
“It will be a simple deal, we have it all worked out,” the man continued. “First, Vadraji will float a new company with one lakh rupees in its account. Then he will propose to buy Accenture for a thousand crores using this new company that is, for now, worth one lakh and sign an agreement to this effect, transferring ownership of this company to Vadraji for a consideration of fifty thousand rupees. After this, Accenture’s global arm will pay Vadraji fifteen hundred crores to take Accenture India back from him, which he will use to pay Accenture India and so on.”
“It gets a little too complicated after that,” the man said, “but Mr. Vadra is a private citizen, so why should anybody care?”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/11/vadra-to-now-buy-out-accenture-after-its-report-praising-gujarats-land-acquisition-model/
India’s most famous small farmer, Robert Vadra, is in the running to purchase Accenture’s India operations soon after a report by the company praising Gujarat’s land acquisition model released. People in the know of the deal said that the Gandhis had activated “Operation Vadra” after coming to know of Accenture’s betrayal.
“Mr. Vadra was getting fitted into gold plated pink pants when Soniaji called him, asking him to take vengeance on behalf of the Gandhi family,” a person close to the Gandhi family said, on condition of anonymity. “Vadraji got so excited at the prospect of making truckloads of money again that he ran out of the tailor’s emporium in his underpants.”
“It will be a simple deal, we have it all worked out,” the man continued. “First, Vadraji will float a new company with one lakh rupees in its account. Then he will propose to buy Accenture for a thousand crores using this new company that is, for now, worth one lakh and sign an agreement to this effect, transferring ownership of this company to Vadraji for a consideration of fifty thousand rupees. After this, Accenture’s global arm will pay Vadraji fifteen hundred crores to take Accenture India back from him, which he will use to pay Accenture India and so on.”
“It gets a little too complicated after that,” the man said, “but Mr. Vadra is a private citizen, so why should anybody care?”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/11/vadra-to-now-buy-out-accenture-after-its-report-praising-gujarats-land-acquisition-model/
Noida property developers give up on human beings; looking for life on other planets to sell their unsold inventory
Only extra terrestrial life can buy Noida's unsold inventory! Satire.
Delhi-NCR: After a string of high budget radio and print campaigns failed to get them any buyers, Noida property developers are looking for “other worldly” solutions to sell their unsold inventory. To the chagrin of the property developers, buyers seemed to have seen through the façade of calling “Noida Expressway” – “Greater Noida West” and selling houses with even the brick-work not being complete as “ready to move in” flats.
“We are sorely disappointed with the human race,” Tadapit Sikka, MD of Sikka Constructions said. “Despite our strategy of putting an English sounding name for all our projects such as ‘Sikka Paradise Greens’ or ‘Sikka Presidential Estates’ or ‘Sikka Rendezvous Apartments’, people are not buying anymore only. We have toh become like Rahul Gandhi and Congress party only, these days. The more ads we run, the more people make fun of us.”
“We even tried to entice Mr. Vadra to buy some of our unsold inventory but he doesn’t want to be in the limelight too much right now,” Mr. Sikka continued balefully. “So a few of us have gotten together and started broadcasting signals to outer space asking aliens to come and invest in Greater Noida West. This has come after our internal market research pointed out that it was far more likely to find extra-terrestrial life than to find human buyers for our shitty inventory.”
“I don’t know if we will succeed but I am hopeful,” he added, egged on by this reporter. “Koi toh saala alien phansega.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/11/noida-property-developers-give-up-on-human-beings-looking-for-life-on-other-planets-to-sell-their-unsold-inventory/
Delhi-NCR: After a string of high budget radio and print campaigns failed to get them any buyers, Noida property developers are looking for “other worldly” solutions to sell their unsold inventory. To the chagrin of the property developers, buyers seemed to have seen through the façade of calling “Noida Expressway” – “Greater Noida West” and selling houses with even the brick-work not being complete as “ready to move in” flats.
“We are sorely disappointed with the human race,” Tadapit Sikka, MD of Sikka Constructions said. “Despite our strategy of putting an English sounding name for all our projects such as ‘Sikka Paradise Greens’ or ‘Sikka Presidential Estates’ or ‘Sikka Rendezvous Apartments’, people are not buying anymore only. We have toh become like Rahul Gandhi and Congress party only, these days. The more ads we run, the more people make fun of us.”
“We even tried to entice Mr. Vadra to buy some of our unsold inventory but he doesn’t want to be in the limelight too much right now,” Mr. Sikka continued balefully. “So a few of us have gotten together and started broadcasting signals to outer space asking aliens to come and invest in Greater Noida West. This has come after our internal market research pointed out that it was far more likely to find extra-terrestrial life than to find human buyers for our shitty inventory.”
“I don’t know if we will succeed but I am hopeful,” he added, egged on by this reporter. “Koi toh saala alien phansega.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/11/noida-property-developers-give-up-on-human-beings-looking-for-life-on-other-planets-to-sell-their-unsold-inventory/
May 10, 2014
New ad campaign featuring Rahul Gandhi released
Couldn't resist. And, this was just waiting to be said...
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/10/new-ad-campaign-featuring-rahul-gandhi-released-pic/
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/05/10/new-ad-campaign-featuring-rahul-gandhi-released-pic/
