Vaibhav Anand's Blog, page 20
June 25, 2014
June 23, 2014
Book Review: The Missionary Position by Christopher Hitchens
Written by renowned polemicist, Hitchens, "The Missionary Position" is a sort of sting operation conducted on the life of Mother Teresa. At 99 pages, it is also probably among the thinnest yet incredibly good books that I have read. Hitchens lays bare Teresa' life like it should have been. After all, what's wrong with a little bit of devil's advocacy? And, you have to hand it to him for his courage in taking on someone who has clearly been one of the most important icons (nay holy cows) of the Catholic Church.
Hitchens reveals the Mother's dubious connections and dealings with dictators, scamsters and people with dubious backgrounds, all for the sake of donations to the Missionaries of Charity. Her stance on abortions, the condition of medical care for the dying at the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, etc. all seem unanswerable blots on the aura of Saint Teresa.
Was Mother Teresa really a saint? Or a Roman Catholic opportunist with a rather narrowminded agenda, who was at the head of a global PR movement?
Read the book to question your blind faith in Mother Teresa's goodness.
June 17, 2014
Akhilesh Yadav to banish areas with high crime rates from UP, to declare them part of Afghanistan
Couldn't keep silent about the goings-on in Ulta Pradesh. Satire.
Lucknow: In a unique tactic to reduce crime statistics in Uttar Pradesh, the state’s Chief Minister, Akhilesh Yadav, has announced that any and all districts with incidents of a newsworthy crime would be declared part of Afghanistan.
This, he announced, was to ensure that news channels stopped focusing only on crimes in Uttar Pradesh. The statement came after Naresh Agrawal, a senior Samajwadi Party MP, had claimed that even animals had the ability to resist “being dragged away”.
“We are proposing that whenever a news channel reports a new crime and an adequate hue and cry is raised about it, we will announce that the village or district or piece of land in question is not a part of Uttar Pradesh anymore,” Mr. Yadav said to a bunch of news reporters, after the customary round of checking with them if they had been raped or shot at, on the way over.
“We have already had a discussion with the government of Afghanistan and they are ready and willing to accept any such tracts of land we want to hand over. That way, they will be able to demonstrate a reduction in crime statistics at their end, because only one or two rapes happen in Uttar Pradesh in a day.”
“This will also go a long way in improving Afghanistan – India relations,” he said. “Better Afghanistan – India relations means lesser terrorism from Taliban and Al Qaeda. One or two rapes is nothing compared to that, don’t you think?”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/06/17/akhilesh-yadav-to-banish-areas-with-high-crime-rates-from-up-to-declare-them-part-of-afghanistan/
Lucknow: In a unique tactic to reduce crime statistics in Uttar Pradesh, the state’s Chief Minister, Akhilesh Yadav, has announced that any and all districts with incidents of a newsworthy crime would be declared part of Afghanistan.
This, he announced, was to ensure that news channels stopped focusing only on crimes in Uttar Pradesh. The statement came after Naresh Agrawal, a senior Samajwadi Party MP, had claimed that even animals had the ability to resist “being dragged away”.
“We are proposing that whenever a news channel reports a new crime and an adequate hue and cry is raised about it, we will announce that the village or district or piece of land in question is not a part of Uttar Pradesh anymore,” Mr. Yadav said to a bunch of news reporters, after the customary round of checking with them if they had been raped or shot at, on the way over.
“We have already had a discussion with the government of Afghanistan and they are ready and willing to accept any such tracts of land we want to hand over. That way, they will be able to demonstrate a reduction in crime statistics at their end, because only one or two rapes happen in Uttar Pradesh in a day.”
“This will also go a long way in improving Afghanistan – India relations,” he said. “Better Afghanistan – India relations means lesser terrorism from Taliban and Al Qaeda. One or two rapes is nothing compared to that, don’t you think?”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/06/17/akhilesh-yadav-to-banish-areas-with-high-crime-rates-from-up-to-declare-them-part-of-afghanistan/
Inspired by Game of Thrones, engineer requests ‘appraisal by combat’
Dedicated to all Game of Thrones lovers.
Gurgaon: After getting an unexpectedly below-par mid-year appraisal, Tadapit Kumar – a software engineer based out of Gurgaon – has requested his organization, an IT major, to permit him ‘appraisal by combat.’ The request came apparently after Tadapit was handed a below par mid-year appraisal so as to accommodate the bell curve.
“If that guy on TV on that show that everybody keeps talking endlessly about can get a trial by combat, why can’t I?” Tadapit reasoned. “I working for 12 consecutive weekends and was Chaddha’s personal slave for two years; but if that still means I am ‘Unable to meet expectations’, I think I can display meet some of those expectations by converting Chaddha’s nose into a bell curve. I think it will bring to the fore my ‘ability to think out of the box and innovate’ and ‘paradigm shifting competencies’ – things I have been hearing about almost as long as this TV series.”
The HR department was a little confused by the request and used the opportunity to allow themselves to catch up with the latest ‘Games of Thrones’ episodes in a conference room.
“Yes, we watched the latest season of Game of Thrones after gathering together in a conference room,” a senior HR executive for the company said, on condition of anonymity. Responding to a question from this reporter, he said, “No, we took special care not to enjoy watching the series as that would have been a waste of company resources. All we had for snacks was tea and biscuits; we didn’t even order pizza or Maggi from the cafeteria.”
“We are yet to decide whether to allow Tadapit the right to get appraised via combat,” he added. “To decide on that, we have booked one entire day to watch the past seasons of ‘Game of Thrones’. We are proactive HR managers, you see.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/06/17/inspired-by-game-of-thrones-engineer-requests-appraisal-by-combat/
Gurgaon: After getting an unexpectedly below-par mid-year appraisal, Tadapit Kumar – a software engineer based out of Gurgaon – has requested his organization, an IT major, to permit him ‘appraisal by combat.’ The request came apparently after Tadapit was handed a below par mid-year appraisal so as to accommodate the bell curve.
“If that guy on TV on that show that everybody keeps talking endlessly about can get a trial by combat, why can’t I?” Tadapit reasoned. “I working for 12 consecutive weekends and was Chaddha’s personal slave for two years; but if that still means I am ‘Unable to meet expectations’, I think I can display meet some of those expectations by converting Chaddha’s nose into a bell curve. I think it will bring to the fore my ‘ability to think out of the box and innovate’ and ‘paradigm shifting competencies’ – things I have been hearing about almost as long as this TV series.”
The HR department was a little confused by the request and used the opportunity to allow themselves to catch up with the latest ‘Games of Thrones’ episodes in a conference room.
“Yes, we watched the latest season of Game of Thrones after gathering together in a conference room,” a senior HR executive for the company said, on condition of anonymity. Responding to a question from this reporter, he said, “No, we took special care not to enjoy watching the series as that would have been a waste of company resources. All we had for snacks was tea and biscuits; we didn’t even order pizza or Maggi from the cafeteria.”
“We are yet to decide whether to allow Tadapit the right to get appraised via combat,” he added. “To decide on that, we have booked one entire day to watch the past seasons of ‘Game of Thrones’. We are proactive HR managers, you see.”
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/06/17/inspired-by-game-of-thrones-engineer-requests-appraisal-by-combat/
June 12, 2014
Book Review: The Men Who Stare At Goats by Jon Ronson
I picked up the book mostly because I was somewhat disappointed by the the movie. However, the book turned out to be rather more disappointing than the movie itself. It did start out interesting, with a lot of promise but Ronson changed track so often in the narrative that the book read more like a collection of blog posts than an actual steady narrative. What is irritating is that the author himself features prominently in several parts of the stories (several tracts in the book are conversations between Ronson and certain principal characters); however, unlike Saadat Hasan Manto who employed the same technique in the fabulous 'Stars from another sky', Ronson is an incredibly vacuous character. Hence the ploy mostly misfires.
The only reason I liked the book somewhat is because of the wealth of interesting information the book had. In the hands of a better author, this book would have been a masterpiece.
Ronson, however, destroys what was clearly journalistic gold with his amateurish writing.
May 30, 2014
Book Review: Under a Monsoon Cloud by H. R. F. Keating
I picked this book up because I had seen the seriously hilarious movie "The Perfect Murder" based on a book of the same name by Keating. If you haven't seen the movie, do go ahead and watch it... It is one of those lesser known gems of Indian Cinema.However, this was the second time that a Merchant Ivory film led me to buy another book written by the author who had originally birthed the (Merchant Ivory) movie script and left me somewhat disappointed. (The other pair being a delightfully delicious movie called ‘The Householder’ and an incredibly underwhelming book called ‘Heat & Dust’ by Ruth Praber Jhabwala, who had also written the book – “The Householder”.) “Under a monsoon cloud” is much better than “Heat & Dust” but it is still relatively underwhelming when you compare its material to the delightfully timeless movie (“The Perfect Murder”). Keating does describe the India of a generation ago and the scruples of the average Indian family man in Inspector Ghote beautifully but the plot never really takes off.
The only reason I liked the book even though the plot never really got interesting enough was for Keating’s writing style and his creation of the honest middle class police inspector, which made me nostalgic of the simpler times India had, decades ago.
May 29, 2014
Book Review: The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
I picked up the book from a second hand book shop having heard the name somewhere; probably because the book has been made into a movie. I do not know the criteria on which books are chosen for being made into movies - but the common thread through all movies made from books is usually a good story. Sadly, The Horse Whisperer does not have a story.What it has is one decently OK character, namely 'The Horse Whisperer', a man who trains/ heals horses. After a bad road accident in which her horse and daughter are injured, a woman drives to a faraway ranch to seek the services of the titular character. Horse and daughter heal, woman has affair. Period. That is the story.
The only interesting part of the book was the accident itself and it all went downhill from there - the rest of it reading like a blog from the life of a bored housewife intent on having an affair. I finished the book and did not understand what the point of the story was.
Avoid both... the book and the movie.
Book Review: Theodore Boone by John Grisham
John Grisham has the uncanny knack of writing both incredibly good books and incredibly pedestrian ones. Theodore Boone, sadly, like 'King of Torts' and 'Summons' is one of the incredibly pedestrian ones.It took me a year to read this not very thick book, in which time I finished several other books. Considering the premise was an underage legal mastermind, I was expecting some on the lines of Artemis Fowl. But the book was so undercooked and the 'hero' so average, I regretted purchasing it for full price from an airport book store.
But I am still thankful for the book... for it has severed my chord with Grisham forever - I think. He did write my favorite book ever (Rainmaker) but if you are going to write something as pedestrian as Theodore Boone, you will lose the most loyal of fans.
May 25, 2014
May 21, 2014
Book Review: Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri
This was the first Jhumpa Lahiri book I read and from the get go, I was enchanted by the poetry of Lahiri’s prose. It is a little difficult for people who have grown up reading Jeffrey Archer’s short stories – people like me who expect every story to have a beginning, a premise and an end – to fully appreciate Lahiri’s work. Fortunately, I had been softened by Arundhati Roy’s and Rohinton Mistry’s works; so the disparity didn’t strike me that hard.What strikes a chord when reading Lahiri’s work is the everyday-humanness of her stories. You feel for every character, you ache for all of their aches, you understand their sorrows and joys and finally, at the end – there is this stillness, this nothingness, reminding you that all her stories are like life itself. Not everything in life has an ending – happy or otherwise. Reading Lahiri for me was like inhaling an intoxicant; I felt heavy hearted yet light headed. The profound beauty of Lahiri’s prose, the humanness of her characters – all of whom felt like a long lost uncle or aunt or one’s own father or mother or a distant version of oneself - was heart rending.
I often amuse (/fool) myself with my ability to learn from and mimic the writing style of authors; but I am sure I cannot mimic the beauty of Lahiri’s work without going through some life experiences myself.
Deeply moving.
