James Hauenstein's Blog, page 9

I Feel A Little Humorous

What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
  A Beer in each hand! 
The other day a friend of mineand I were disusing what men find attractive in women.I said,"I think more men today are looking for intelligence in a woman."And he said,"Sure, that is the first thing men are looking for when they stick their hands on a woman's dress. A library card!"
You know what the most beautiful words in the English language are?I told you so!
When you lose your rifle in the Army they charged you $85.That’s why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
The Revenant(2015).
An epic tale of one man’s desperate journey to 
do whatever it takes to 
finally win an Oscar.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the Party City Store first and asked a few questions.
A sign outside of a Buddhist Temple in Nepal read,
“If you lived here, you’d be om by now.”
The closest a person can ever come to perfection is when they are writing their own resume.
I think it’s pretty cool how 
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos!
Bifocals are God’s way of saying,“Keep your chin up.”
I’d rather spend ten minutes 
rearranging the dishwasher to 
accommodate another dish than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand!
Why did God invent whiskey?
  So the Irish would never rule the world!This is,Me Saying That Instagram Is Twitter For People Who Go OutsideJim Hauenstein
And
“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
- Tom Robbins, -
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A Day In The Life

Disclaimer: I do not advocate the use of Marijuana for anyone. It is a personal choice. People reading this might not be in the part of the country or the world where Marijuana is legal. But where I live, it is.*****I have a funny story about my wife I would like to tell.    One day I had to drive my wife to see a specialist about her diabetes. She had her diabetes under control but with our health insurance you had to see a specialist once a year to make sure you were still on the right track.   The appointment was in the afternoon so my wife got board and smoked a little marijuana to past the time. (No, I don't smoke.) Unbeknownst to me, she brought along some chocolate candies for her munchies.   When we arrived, the waiting room is full off diabetics. Some with blacken legs and some in wheelchairs with parts of their legs amputated off.   My wife could make friends anywhere. She started talking to the people around us. This is when she got hungry and brought out her chocolate. She asked loudly so everyone could hear, "Does anybody want some?"   I said quietly and a little angrily, "Stop it. Don't do that."   She said to me loud enough so everyone could hear, "Why? I just want to be friendly."   Some smiled, some laughed, but nobody got mad at her because they all knew she was sincere!
 This is,Offering Chocolate To DiabeticsOnly My Wife Could Get Away With That
Jim Hauenstein
And
“Can I come back and see you sometime?"
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate."
"Gramma, you're diabetic."
"I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.”
- Rachel Caine -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Live Feed

Update; I am a little over half way editing my new eBook and I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to do the cover. I can't take pictures off the internet because I don't own them. I'm looking for either a photographer or an artist who will work for free. They will get credited of course but so far it looks like I will only be able to recoup my investment. Yet, I will carry on. Thanks*****Periodically I go check outLive eruptions of the Popocatépetl Volcano in Mexico.I haven't seen anything exciting yet but it is one of the most active volcanoes on Earth.I'm not all doomand gloom.I also put on theNASAchannel where you see theEarthflying by underneath theISS.Usually I will have it on the big screen while I listen to musicand I'm doing my chores. 
We live in theOrwellian WorldofWebcamsmy friend.I'm not just taking aboutAsia & Europe.You wouldn't believe how many cameras are watching the beaches in theUnited States.Search the internet if you don't believe me.
This is,George Orwell's 1984 We Live InJim Hauenstein And "In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
- George Orwell -  That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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A Letter To Julieta

I want to explain myself before you read my letter to my wife. Today is her birthday. I'm posting this letter on all my social sites for my own healing process. I want everyone to know how much I loved her and how much I have change since she let me into her life, her kid's lives, and continuing to grow our family together with more children. I will always remember her as the quiet, beautiful, determined woman I met in 1992.*****

A Letter to Julieta

I have been thinking about Love.

What is Love?

When I met you I found out what love isn’t. Love isn’t lust for someone or something you say because of intimacy. Love isn’t a battle between two egos or a competition. Love isn’t a convenience, an arrangement, a lie. Love isn’t settling for someone because marriage is something you’re supposed to do in life. Love isn’t trying to change someone, to mold them into something else. Love isn’t judging someone about their past. And Love is never, ever, an ownership of another.

What is Love?

Love to me is; a relationship, a partnership, companionship. Love is when a person’s happiness depends on the happiness of the other, and vice versa. Love is helping each other develop and achieve goals in life. Love is the joy of raising a family together. Love is talking. Love is listening. Love is understanding. Love is lifting one another up with encouragement, support, and giving each other confidence. Love is going through life together. In sickness and in health. Together enjoying the highs. Together battling the lows. Love is understanding if the other fails in something, you help them move forward. Love is knowing that if I win or lose, either way, you will be by my side. Love is laughing at my foolishness and loving me even more for it. Love is having a best friend who understands me for who I am. Love is a partnership with my best friend. Love is always you.

You are still by my side because your memory lives inside my heart, my soul, my mind. I am so lucky to have had you in my life.

See Honey, you are still teaching me.

Love You

***** 

This is,Never Forgetting You
Jim Hauenstein And “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
- Dr. Seuss -
 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I Need A Little More Time In Life

 Can we make our clocks run 25 hours a dayand our weeks last eight days?No?We can't?It has something to do with the Earth's rotation you say?Well I don't have enough time!
I don't know who said it first but I believe it."The days are long but the years fly by!"Speaking of time.For your reading pleasure.Here is one of my flash fiction stories about time travel. Transporting In Time
I really think you will like this one.It has a completely different take onTime Travel.
This is,Never Giving Up An Opportunity To Travel In TimeJim Hauenstein And 
“Yeah, but what if you went back and killed your own grandfather?" He stared at me, baffled. "Why the fuck would you do that?”
- Stephen King - That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Life Is What Happens While You Are Making Other Plans

Hello,I'm back.Like the title of this post says,life is always moving forwardand all the plans I had of putting time aside for my blogand editing my book,well things didn't turn out as I would have thought.But now I have a little time to do these things.Sorry that I can't write a new story today.It's because of my self imposed deadline for release of my new eBook.I need to edit.You can read one of my favorite short stories of all time by following this link though;BenchedYes,that is the title of the story but you already knew that.The story was inspired by Japan's 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami.I hope you enjoy reading it.
This is,Remembering America'sAnd Japan's Greatest Game Jim Hauenstein
And “It ain't over 'til it's over.” - Yogi Berra -

That is my story and I am sticking to it! Like what you are reading?Sign up as a Follower or leave a CommentI would love to hear from you

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Life Is What Happens While You Are Making Othetr Plans

Hello,I'm back.Like the title of this post says,life is always moving forwardand all the plans I had of putting time aside for my blogand editing my book,well things didn't turn out as I would have thought.But now I have a little time to do these things.Sorry that I can't write a new story today.It's because of my self imposed deadline for release of my new eBook.I need to edit.You can read one of my favorite short stories of all time by following this link though;BenchedYes,that is the title of the story but you already knew that.The story was inspired by Japan's 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami.I hope you enjoy reading it.
This is,Remembering America'sAnd Japan's Greatest Game Jim Hauenstein
And “It ain't over 'til it's over.” - Yogi Berra -

That is my story and I am sticking to it! Like what you are reading?Sign up as a Follower or leave a CommentI would love to hear from you

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Historical Fiction

This is a story I wrote on November 18th, 2018 calledDuelingIt's a quick easy readbut I hope you enjoy its brevity.Still editing my new eBook.It's looking good!*****   "Mister Jackson. Will you please be my second and teach me how to duel?" asked a distraught Aaron Hamilton.
   "Dueling is not for boys. It is an honored way for gentlemen to settle their differences." answered the future President, Andrew Jackson.
   "But a Mister Gregory King has dishonored me and my family. Refusing me the hand of marriage to his daughter Rachel and calling my family unworthy of being called patriots because my father, Pastor William Hamilton, did not fight in the war of independence against England."
   "Yes, I know your father well." said Andrew. "He is a pacifist. Being a Pastor, a man of the cloth, he should not be expected to fight in any war."
   "I must protect and redeem my family's honor." stated Aaron.
   "You must think about this Aaron." said the fatherly Jackson. "If you kill Rachel's father, will she not hate you for this?"
   "I have already resigned to the idea of losing the hand in marriage with the beautiful Rachel." Aaron says sadly. "She no longer reciprocates my undying love for her."
   "Okay. I will be at Shepherd's Field at 10 minutes to noon tomorrow." Jackson replies. "I just hope your aim is true."
   The sun was high in the sky at ten minutes to noon, beating the sweat down upon the four men's faces, here for a duel. The wind, was barely blowing the leaves along the tobacco fields on Shepherd's farm. A perfect fall day.
   "You have not given me any advice on how to duel Mister Jackson?" questioned Aaron.
   "If your aim is true, you will hit your target." replied Andrew. "Just remember, after the count of 20 paces and you turn to shoot, station your body like you are holding a sword. Stand sideways to Mister King. It will give him less of a target to shoot at."
   The four men meet in the center of an open field. The two duelists grab a pistol each and line up back to back.
   Gregory's second can be heard starting the countdown.
   "One, two, three,......eighteen, nineteen, twenty!"
  This is,My Version Of Historical FictionJim Hauenstein,
And
“Until the Civil War there was scarcely a man in public life in New Orleans or Louisiana who had not fought at least one duel; most of them had engaged in several.”
- Herbert Asbury -

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Let Me Update You

Still working on editing my upcoming eBook which will be published later this year.The deadline is coming fast since today is the halfway point of the year.I hope you are enjoying reading some of my older stories while I finish my book.Matter-of-fact here is one now!This story is calledFishing
“Hey you. What are you doing down there?” asks an elderly gentleman as he shines his flashlight close to the water’s edge, on a person leaning up against a large rock.A pretty faced girl turns her head to face the man questioning her and sees he is also with a boy about 8 years old.“I’m fishing,” she tells him.“Fishing?” the old man asks.“Yes, fishing.” she replies.A confused looking child asks his great grandpa, “What is fishing papa?”“Well, a long time ago there used to be sea creatures swimming in these waters and people would have poles with strings attached to them with a hook and some bait on the hook to entice these creatures to take a bite. These creatures, called fish, would then get caught by the hook so the people with the poles could bring them ashore for eating.”“Those people were called fishermen,” tells the girl. “Kind of sexist if you ask me, since women fished too!”“How do you know so much about fishing young girl?” asks the old man.“I read all about it in a book by Samuel Clemens,” the girl says.Before anyone else can say anything the boy jumps in by asking, “Now what’s a book?”His great grandpa answers, “It’s how we used to read before your school implant was attached to your brain so you could visualize the school’s reading material in front of your eyes.”“But why is she fishing papa?”“Yes little lady. Why are you fishing?” he asks. “There’s no longer any fish in this river.”“Sir,” she says flatly to the stranger. “It's not all about catching the fish. It’s about serenity. About getting in tune with oneself. Relaxing.”“Isn’t that what your frontal lobe stimuli implant is for?” he asks.“This is a natural way of doing it,” she says. “I believe they used to call it, being in Zen with the fish.” This is,Saying I Wrote This On My Cell Phone So For Some Reason The Color Came Out BlueJim Hauenstein,
And,
“I go fishing for reasons other than catching fish.”
- Fennel Hudson -
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Finished First Draft

Hello once again.I finished my first draft of my new eBook
but now I am going to read it out loud so I can see if I can catch any grammar mistakes that way.If you ever have written anythingand you feel the need for someone to critique it,try this method first.It works wonders.Today's story is called "How Do We Communicate?"

How do we communicate when an Alien Species comes to visit? 
 This is,Echoing My Love Of Writing All The TimeJim Hauenstein
And
“The decision is your own voice, an opinion is the echo of someone else's voice.” - Amit Kalantr -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!  Like what you are reading?Sign up as a Follower, or Leave a Comment.I would Love to hear from You.
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Be kind to everyone I'll be seeing you