James Hauenstein's Blog, page 48

Influencing People With Spinner

Some more fun from the world of technology.Have you ever wanted to subliminally influence yourBoss,Friends,Partner,Parents,orKids?Now you can,if they have aFacebookaccount!By Genevieve Scarano for Geek.com "Influencing people on Facebook doesn’t have to be rocket science: The Spinner, a U.K. startup, claims it will target an individual Facebook user with ads designed to sway their behavior for only $29. With the ads, The Spinner aims to help individuals persuade colleagues, friends, and family members to change their ways, whether it’s convincing a partner to increase intimacy or swaying a parent’s opinion on buying a pet."
I checked out their websiteand they must have raised their prices since this article was written because now the starting price is $49 dollars!
"Here’s how it works: For $29, you can target a Facebook user with a set of 10 different articles, which are shown to them 180 times within a 90-day period. Once you choose your campaign (The Spinner’s site has 12 different campaigns) and pay, The Spinner will send you a normal-looking link. Next, you can send the link to your targeted Facebook user in a text message. When they press the link, the cookie connected to the link bonds to their smartphone, so they’ll keep seeing similar articles during the three-month window."Come on,I dare you.Try influencing me to stop writing stories that areLiberal, Political,and Self Righteous.Getting me to stick with thePoems,Flash Fiction,andShort StoriesI make up! I dare you!
This is,Telling You It Could Never HappenMy Kids Say I Am Too OpinionatedJim Hauenstein,
And,
“It is a subliminal thing. It is the tick of a clock that has ticked so long one no longer notices.”
- Ray Bradbury -

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Project Implicit

I have a new website where it can help you determine on how you feel about certain prejudices.It has 14 different kinds of tests you can take.Everything from how you feel aboutRace,Gender,Age,Weight,thePresident,and so on.I found out that I don't have a preference betweenEuropean AmericansoverAsian Americansprobably because I married aPacific Islander.I also found out that I preferJohn F. Kennedyas aPresidentthanDonald Trump.I also took theRace Testtelling me I still have some work to do on this subject even though I have friends who areBlack.But that is why I take these tests.Besides trying to improve my mind everyday,I'm always trying to improve my character,and help make this world a better place.Now,I would like to challenge you to take of few of these testsand see if you surprise yourself on how you really feel about things deep down.https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html  This is,
Betting On Blaise Pascal's Wager
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"A rational person should live as though God exists and seek to believe in God. If God does not actually exist, such a person will have only a finite loss, whereas he stands to receive infinite gains in Heaven and avoid infinite losses in Hell.- Blaise Pascal -
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Crispr cas9

I know,I know.You want to join in on all the fun!You want to see if you can get your ownSpider SilkfromGoat's Milk. What you need is your ownCrispr cas9,that's all. What can aCrisperdo for you?From YourGenome.orgCRISPR-Cas9 is a unique technology that enables geneticists and medical researchers to edit parts of the genome? by removing, adding or altering sections of the DNA? sequence. Now won't you be the life of the party once you splice yourDNAwith some of aGeckos DNA'swhich helps himor her with their
van der Waals forces. You'll be climbing the walls without the help of any pharmaceuticals.
This is,Telling You Can Get Your Own eBook Crispr 101A Comprehensive Guide For Beginners FromSynthego.comJim Hauenstein,
And,
“DNA is like a computer program but far, far more advanced than any software ever created.”
- Bill Gates -

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Still Not Allowed To Be Within 500 Feet Of My Neighbor's House

Still editing myShort Stories,Flash Fiction,and my newBook.So,for your reading pleasure,here is aPostfromOctober 16th 2016calledNot Allowed To Be Within 500 Feet Of My Neighbor's House
I really need to stop doing these Post on my phone.
I hate this color!*****I have designatedSunday,the day of rest,as my day to tie upLoose Ends,do rebuttals to anyCommentsleft on myPosts,andfill in the blanks onorof stories I forgot to write about.They say in life,and I do not know who they are,"If you are fortunate to live a long life, you have stages later in life where parts of it seem to be missing."
It begins when you don't remember to do something you were supposed to do,
and then you are labeled withAbsent-mindedness.People will say you are becomingSenileafter a certain age for searching for your car keys while they are in your hand.You get a few gray hairsand your forgetfulness turns intoDementia.Finally,you forget to put your pants on when you wake up in the morningand you get the label of havingAlzheimer's!Let me ask you this with a sound mind and body.Who here,in thisGreat Countryof ours,hasn't gone into the neighbor's house after a night of partying,fallen asleep,and gone through the dresser drawers looking for a pair pants when they wake up? You are all a bunch of lairs if I am the only one!The reason I might forget something is because my mind is like a computer.I have so much useless stuff stored up in there,that when I forget to clean out myMind's Cache,it has no room for new information.Like wearing pants!
This is,Not Allowed To Be Within 500 Feet Of My Neighbor's House,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”
- Criss Jami, -
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Fishing

“Hey you. What are you doing down there?” asks an elderly gentleman as he shines his flashlight close to the water’s edge, on a person leaning up against a large rock.A pretty faced girl turns her head to face the man questioning her and sees he is also with a boy about 8 years old.“I’m fishing,” she tells him.“Fishing?” the old man asks.“Yes, fishing.” she replies.A confused looking child asks his great grandpa, “What is fishing papa?”“Well, a long time ago there used to be sea creatures swimming in these waters and people would have poles with strings attached to them with a hook and some bait on the hook to entice these creatures to take a bite. These creatures, called fish, would then get caught by the hook so the people with the poles could bring them ashore for eating.”“Those people were called fishermen,” tells the girl. “Kind of sexist if you ask me, since women fished too!”“How do you know so much about fishing young girl?” asks the old man.“I read all about it in a book by Samuel Clemens,” the girl says.Before anyone else can say anything the boy jumps in by asking, “Now what’s a book?”His great grandpa answers, “It’s how we used to read before your school implant was attached to your brain so you could visualize the school’s reading material in front of your eyes.”“But why is she fishing papa?”“Yes little lady. Why are you fishing?” he asks. “There’s no longer any fish in this lake.”“Sir,” she says flatly to the stranger. “It's not all about catching the fish. It’s about serenity. About getting in tune with oneself. Relaxing.”“Isn’t that what your frontal lobe stimuli implant is for?” he asks.“This is a natural way of doing it,” she says. “I believe they used to call it, being in Zen with the fish.”

This is,Saying I Wrote This On My Cell Phone So The Color Came Out BlueJim Hauenstein,
And,
“I go fishing for reasons other than catching fish.”
- Fennel Hudson -
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Still Learning Even After Leaving School Behind Years Ago

I will editing some stories today so I hope you enjoy this
Post
from
October 10th 2016
called
Once Again.
If you like old books
and learning about how earlier generations thought about things,
Google Books
and the
New York Public Library
have some
Free To Read
historical collections that you need to check out.

*****
The day after that wonderfulDebate,where theCandidateswere especially cordial to one another,you are sitting home alone wondering,where inGod's Green Earthcan I find a book to read that is called;A Catalogue of Books Relating to the History and Topography of Italy
by Sir Richard Colt Hoare, 2nd Baronet from the Internet Archive?Well,here it is.  "Just the facts Ma'am."- Joe Friday -OK,these are the facts;
Book digitized by Google from the library of the New York Public Library and uploaded to the Internet Archive by user tpb. Publisher Printed by W. Bulmer andCo.
Year 1812
Pages 127
Possible copyright status NOT_IN_COPYRIGHT
Language English
Digitizing sponsor Google
Book from the collections of New York Public Library
Collection americana
Notes Frontispiece is book-plate of the Stourhead Library.


Next question please.You know,the one you didn't know you wanted to ask.Don't be shy. 
What the heck is a Baronet?
A Baronet or the rare female equivalent, a Baronetess is the holder of a baronetcy, a hereditary title awarded by the British Crown. The practice of awarding baronetcies was originally introduced in England in the 14th century and was used by James I of England in 1611 as a means of raising funds. A baronetcy is the only British hereditary honor that is not a peerage, with the exception of the Anglo-Irish Black Knight, White Knight and Green Knight (of which only The Green Knight is extant). A Baronet is addressed as "Sir" (just as is a knight) or "Dame" in the case of a Baronetess but ranks above all knighthoods and Damehoods in the Order of precedence, except for the Order of the Garter and the Order of the Thistle (and the dormant Order of St Patrick). Baronets are not deemed members of the nobility, but rather, titled gentry. In Europe, their social rank is roughly equivalent to petty nobility.
 
Did you get all that?

So,the next time you are sitting around the coffee table,I mean,the tea table,and your snobbishUncle Cliffordcomes through the door stating he has just been awarded the moniker"Baronet"by theQueen of England,just secretly remember,"In Europe, their social rank is roughly equivalent to PETTY NOBILITY!"
This is,Once Again,Answering Those Questions You Didn't Know You Wanted To Ask,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.”
- Elizabeth I -
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The Pope Likes The Saints

I have said it beforeand I'll say it again.TrueHeroesare the people who fight inThe Armed Forcesof whicheverCountrythey enlist in.ThatSport Figuresare not reallyHeroes.That a team praying for guidanceand the strength to beat their opponents is not somethingGodis interesting in hearing.But wait!I could be wrong!

By: John Sigler for Saints Wire on USAToday.com
New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton must have friends in high, high places. His team caught a stray mention in a tweet from Pope Francis early Sunday morning, in which the supreme pontiff expressed thanks for new saints while looking to them for guidance — adding a hashtag to “saints,” likely in hopes of getting it trending to reach new followers. While the leader of the Catholic Church likely did not mean to associate his tweet with the professional football team that plays in New Orleans, his support is probably appreciated. The NFL has introduced official hashtags for each of its teams in recent years, typically pairing a unique emoji geared towards each team’s specific brand (the Jacksonville Jaguars, for example, get #DUVAAAL, referencing the local county and a popular call-and-response chant with its fans). Saints fans got the short straw this year, drawing the very simple #Saints hashtag accompanied by the team’s fleur-delis logo. So Francis’s use of it (and its association with the team) is purely accidental. 
Still, some members of the team enjoyed the support. Saints linebacker Alex Anzalone laughed it off on Twitter, and many fans responded to Francis’s message in hopes of earning a prayer for injured quarterback Drew Brees. It’s all in good fun, of course, but it’s not every day Catholic Saints fans get to directly address the leader of their faith.
This is,Asking Who Is The Bishop Up In Green BayAnd Can He Help Out The Packers?Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”
- Billy Joel -   That is my story and I am sticking to it!Like what you are reading?Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
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P.S. The Saints won by the way. Score; Saints 13 - Jaguars 6

I'm Always Trying To Be Funny

 From
Friday September 23rd 2016
my humorous
Post
Two Of These Stories Are True - Can You Tell Which Ones?
*****
My grandson asked me the other day; "Grandpa, why do you always tell me no? You say no, I can’t have any candy. You say no, I can’t have any soda. You say no, I can’t have a dog. Grandpa, I am going to run away." So I said,"Yes."
"Go ahead. I’ll see you later then."
Tell me this.How do they know all penguins are monogamous?You know,mate for life?If they all look alike,how do we know they are not cheating on one another? 
I went to see my doctor this week.She looked me in the eyesand asked me,"Jim, are you on drugs? Your eyes are so red."I said,"No Doc, my allergies are acting up." "I never tested you for allergies Jim?"Says my Doctor."What are you allergic to?"So I told her,"Pot."She then asks me,"What are you taking for your allergies?"I said,"Mozzarella sticks!"


I went to the grocery store yesterdayand before I got in,this guy holding a signup sheet outside asks,"Sir, would you like to volunteer to help clean up trash from our beaches this coming weekend?" I tell him,"I already volunteer every Saturday and Sunday to help keep our beautiful state clean."Not knowing there was this other guy behind me who works with me on the weekend speaks upand says."Yes, he does. He also wears an orange vest and picks up trash along the Highway with the rest of us weekend convicts."


My best friend,from years gone by,named Scott,had the same hairline problem as I do.OK,we didn’t have hair on the top of our heads.One day we were sitting at the bar a little too longand I got all emotional.I lean over to him,pulling him close to hug him,I tell him loudly,“I love you man.”Then the top of our heads came togetherand from the other side of the bar this lady says,“Look at those two. They’re making an Ass out of themselves!”
This is,Saying God Made A Lot Of Beautiful Heads In This World.The Ones He Didn't Like,He Covered Up!Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
- Audrey Hepburn -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!Like what you are reading?Sign up as a Follower,or Set up my Blogas your Homepageon your Web-browser,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
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Words For Today

Murry Monster onSesame Streetis not looking for theseWords On The Street!
Zabaglione - Frothy Custard
Yaff - To bark like a snarling dog
Xenodocheionology - Love of Hotels
Ulotrichous - Having woolly hair
Here is one of my favorite words.It probably explains my fetish with hats!
Nanocephalous - Having a extremely small head
This is,Don't Ask Me Why I Wrote Down These Words TodayI Just Like Looking Up New Words EverydayJim Hauenstein,
And,

“This is a crisis in our culture because we have stopped raising MEN and wee are raising P U S I L L A N I M O U S males at epidemic proportions!”
- S. J. Gold -

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John Lennon's Birthday Toady

John Lennon would have been 79 years old today.He is one of myMusic Heroes.What can I say that hasn't been said already.I miss the type of music he wrote.There is no one like him.
Always ahead of his time.Expressing what love is all about.Telling us all how to make the world a better place.This is,Dreaming Of What Kind Of Music He Would Have WrittenJim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you're listening, I'm the walrus, too.”
- George Harrison -
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