S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 52

What Does It Mean to Have Your Sh*t Together?

We all know the phrase “get your shit together” but what does it actually mean? It’s often said when someone is losing in life or stressing/panicking/being overwhelmed by something. But what does it actually look and feel like to regularly “have your shit together“?

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Balance

I think to have your shit together, you must have a variety of pillars in your life. For this, I imagine the Personality Islands from Pixar’s Inside Out, which are parts of Riley’s personality and life that come together to make her who she is.

We all need this. We need more than one thing going on in our lives. More than one part of our personality and lifestyle.

But with these things comes a need for balance, too. Not too much of this compared to that. For example, we all work and usually, that takes up most of our time. However, it’s good to balance ourselves out with family obligations, hobbies, health and fitness, passions, learning and the like.

I think someone with their shit well and truly together will have this mastered! We all fall off at times, and life has its ebbs and flows, but someone with their shit together is aware of this and makes adjustments when needed.

You probably don’t really have your shit together if you’re stressed out juggling a million things, panicking and rushing more often than not, either!

 

Reading & Learning

Someone with their shit together knows that learning and education do not stop after school. Formal learning does not need to continue, but we should never stop learning new things.

In order to keep your shit together, you must keep your brain working to its best. This means exercising it like you would your body. By challenging ourselves and learning, we give our minds a workout.

Read all kinds of books. Take the information that you learn and teach others or put it into practice. Take online courses or local classes. Be curious and ask questions. Never stop educating yourself.

 

Making enough money

Having your shit together really needs to include our finances. Yes, sometimes things aren’t going to plan and our financial situation may suffer for whatever reason. However, someone with their shit together won’t let this happen too often, or they’ll have a safety blanket.

In a nutshell, they are financially aware and in control. They have budgeting plans, savings, multiple streams of income, investments, Excel Spreadsheets, an accountant, interest on their earnings, multiple pots for different things in life, and the like.

They know what’s coming in and what’s going out.

 

Knowing yourself

Strange one, maybe, but I think having your shit together means you know yourself well. Someone who does things without knowing why, or doesn’t have any goals or direction, or someone who holds onto opinions that have no source (and so on) aren’t people that seem all that “together” to me.

Your life needn’t be perfect. You needn’t be perfect. But a together person at least has some idea of who they are, what they want, and why. This may change over time, sure, but they are aware of it right now. And a together person will make choices and take action from this place of self-knowledge, meaning they live a more wholehearted, intentional, authentic life, too.

*Not yet knowing what you want in life doesn’t mean you don’t have your shit together. I mean that someone who just aimlessly acts or speaks without intention or self-knowledge is potentially not that together in who they are.*

 

Adaptability

And lastly, a together person is someone who is not too easily shaken by change, uncertainty or unexpected events. They are someone who knows themselves and what they want, yes, but also is prepared to adapt to life when needed.

It’s all about survival of the fittest.

Those who can adapt, evolve, are those who succeed and surpass others in life. Having your shit together means being equipped to adjust your shit when needed and do so without chaos!

 

How to get your shit together

Have what Kalyn Nicholson calls “G.Y.S.T. days” where you take a whole day to get your life, your routine, your home (etc.) back in order.
You can have “Life Admin” days like Muchelle B where you take a day to get the things done that you’ve been putting off, like your taxes, calling the doctor, servicing your car, decluttering your wardrobe, cleaning the fridge, and the like.
Do monthly (or even weekly) reviews to check-in with yourself and see what’s working, what’s not, and what you need to plan to do soon.
Journal to see where you head is at; tackle unhelpful thoughts, work on what needs work.
Take note of times where you’ve felt heavy negative emotions and see if it may be highlighting problem areas where you are out of alignment or unbalanced or where your “shit” is slipping!
Make a plan: if you know where you’re slipping, make an actionable plan and get to work. I did this for myself with how to organise my days better and waking up earlier.
Make Health a Priority: in every area of health, you should be ensuring you care about and for yourself. A healthy person is a together person. A healthy person can handle life better.


Last Thoughts

Having your shit together is not about never crying or feeling overwhelmed
It’s not about being perfect and never faltering
It’s not about being sure, confident, right, rich, smart, cool or whatever else

Having your shit together means you’re simply taking life into your own hands, rather than being at the mercy of circumstance.

 

So, if you don’t have your shit together, you’re really not alone! I certainly don’t. As funny as it may sound to say this phrase, it’s important not to let your “shit” slip too often.

Don’t stress yourself out trying to be perfect and always have it together. But on the other hand, don’t be ignorant, or deny your situation, or avoid your problems. See where your shit is slipping, and make a plan to get it together! You got this!

Good luck x

What is the Meaning of Life? (Podcast)

The big philosophical question that has been asked by the masses for centuries is: what is the meaning of life? In today’s podcast, I’d like to give you my answer and some thoughts on the subject…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2019/09/what-is-the-meaning-of-life.mp3

 

You can follow my podcast on all podcast platforms, including Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

How to Embrace Change: The New Season

How to embrace change and deal with the new season. It’s almost Autumn guys and so the weather is changing and the days are getting shorter again. For some, this is bad news as it means saying goodbye to Summer.

Here are some of my thoughts about this and how to feel a little better…

Click to play!

How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Life (worksheet included)

It’s awful to feel stuck in life. To feel like you’re going nowhere or that you’re not where you want to be and feeling powerless in that fact.

I have felt this way more times than I can count, as someone in my early 20s with anxiety and big dreams. And so, in one of my feeling-stuck-moods, I decided to walk myself through feeling better. Now, I’m sharing that process with you.

Here are some ways to help you stop feeling stuck in life…

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Get clear on why

The first step is to determine exactly what about your life or yourself isn’t working for you. What is making you feel unhappy and stuck where you are?

Are you bored? Are you stressed and overwhelmed? Are you doing something that brings you no joy? Are you being forced to do things you don’t want to do? Are you feeling lost and unsure of what you want from your life?

Try your best to sit with these questions and detail exactly what is wrong and why.

p.s. It might not be what you think that’s making you feel this way. It might be a smaller problem. What you thought was your partner or your job, is actually about your little habits or health. Really think broadly about this issue.

 

Why are you “stuck”/ What’s holding you here?

Once you know why, ask yourself why you feel trapped doing what you’re doing. Why can’t you do something else? Who or what is holding you back from making a change? Is it money, parents, partners, fears, beliefs, confusion, indecision, know-how, resources, education, qualifications, uncertainty?

What is stopping you from making a change and thus making you feel stuck where you are?

 

The past

As I said, for me, I’ve felt stuck before. This means that I’ve gotten through my “stuck” feeling before, too. Going back to revisit past experiences similar to this helps us to either gain perspective and realise that this feeling is temporary (which brings us comfort) while it also helps us to know what we could do to stop feeling stuck.

Did you change jobs before and that worked? Did you take up a new hobby? Did you get back into caring about your health and fitness? Did you meet someone new? Did you focus more on personal habits and goals, but have since deviated from that?

 

What do you want instead?

It’s easy to complain about your current circumstances, but you’ll never fix things if you don’t actually know what you want instead of this. What about this isn’t working? What’s making you feel bad? What could you do, have, be, use, find, (whatever) instead?

Instead of working in an office, I could get some hands-on work.

Instead of waking at 10 am, I could wake at 7 and use the morning for healthy habits.

Instead of isolating myself and working from home, I could work in public settings.

Where would you rather be? What would you rather be doing? What would make you feel good? Who would make you feel good?

What do you want or need instead of this?

 

What do you need to get from A to B?

Once you know what you want, you need an idea of how to get there. What resources, people, places, qualifications, money, or whatever else do you need to get you to your new vision of life?

Don’t overwhelm yourself if you can, but detail point-by-point (or mind map some rough ideas) what would help you get to where you desire to be. Write it down. Research it. Ask advice.

 

Mindset shift

Now that you have this information, you should be feeling a little better already because you know what you want, what you don’t want, and roughly how to get what you want.

The next step is to get your mind to meet you where your heart is.

It’s harder to convince the mind that you are capable of things that the spirit already knows you can do.

What were your thoughts when you were detailing what you want and how to get it? “I can’t do this. That person is better than me. I’m not smart enough, cool enough, pretty enough, strong enough, INSERT THING enough.”

Why do you think this is so out of reach for you? What are you “missing” that would help you?

Is there a mantra, quote, or something that you can revisit every day to motivate you to get going on making this change?

Who or what inspires you? Find it, hold onto it, use it every day.

 

Plan of action

Our minds are ready (slightly) so it’s time to make a plan. We know what we want and how to get it, so it’s time to make a personal, logical, actionable plan of action towards this goal.

For me, I want to make a living selling books. So, what I’d write as an action plan is:

Outline book idea
Write the first chapter
Write the first draft
Edit first draft
Edit until polished while researching agents
Query to agents while polishing book
Get agent
Work with the agent to polish book and reach out to publishers
Keep motivated while receiving rejection letters!
Sign with the publisher and receive an advance
Edit with publishers
Finalise book
Prepare for publishing
Announce publishing, market, social events
Publish book
Market, book tours, the whole shebang
Sell books!

 

Nothing will go perfectly to plan, of course, but having one gets you started and that’s what we need right now. Plus, seeing it laid out like this can really help us to digest that this just may be possible for us, whatever the goal.

 

Say you wish to shift excess weight:

Speak with a doctor about what I need to lose realistically; get advice
Calorie track to keep to the appropriate amount needed for health and weight loss
Exercise plan to keep me active every day in some form that feels good
Shopping list and recipes that include healthy, tasty meals
Clear cupboards of junk food (donate, give to kids, whatever)
Ensure I’m maintaining a calorie deficit every day while still feeling good
Accepting the pain as temporary for now in the early stages of my workouts and the new routine
Get a buddy and accountability partner to keep me motivated
Don’t beat self up for eating “bad foods”
And so on…

 

First steps

By now, your mindset should have shifted into thinking you can do this, so it’s time to take the first steps. Whatever is first on your list, take that brave step ASAP and start feeling less stuck in your life!

You got this! This is temporary, I promise; with the right mindset and confronting the problem head-on, you will be able to make a change and change your life.

 

Worksheet to help guide you through feeling stuck in life: How to Stop Feeling Stuck

 

Poem for World Suicide Prevention Day

*TRIGGER WARNING*

If all you did was get out of bed today,

There is no judgement here.

If you wanted to cry and scream and you did,

There is no judgement here.

If you failed and you’re in deep pain,

There is no judgement here.

If you quit and you’re ashamed,

There is no judgement here.

If you woke up and didn’t want to,

There is no judgement here.

If you hurt yourself and didn’t want to,

There is no judgement here.

If you want to die yet wish to live,

There is no judgement here.

Here, you will find only kindness.

For I get it, it’s hard; it hurts like hell.

Like a thousand shards of glass running through your veins.

But know that there’s only one truth in life and that is this:

Everything is temporary.

There is no judgement here, only a helping hand.

A hand to guide you through this temporary paralysis,

This temporary pain,

This temporary grief,

This temporary loss,

This temporary fear,

This temporary emptiness,

This temporary darkness.

I would not dare to judge you, for darkness has called to me, too.

Images in my head that should not be there.

I’ve been there.

You’re not alone.

And I’ll listen, anytime you need me to, and never will I ever judge.

There is no judgement here, for as the saying goes,

“Judge not lest ye be judged.”

 

This World Suicide Prevention Day, know that you are not alone. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. There is no shame in it. There are professionals and loved ones who can support you through this.

 

Contact:

116 123 for a free call to Samaritans/ https://www.samaritans.org/

The NHS has many contact details for you to use: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

 

Other resources:

https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide/

https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/feelings-and-symptoms/suicidal-feelings/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/#.XXfE0uhKiM8

How to Deal with Overwhelming Problems or Situations (Podcast)

There comes a time in all of our lives when we face a difficult situation or problem that feels too big to tackle. We obsess and worry and drive ourselves crazy, so much so, the problem grows bigger and feels worse.



Here are some ideas on how you can deal with these moments/times better and move forward.


Click to play!


https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2019/09/how-to-deal-with-overwhelming-problems-or-situations.mp3

Getting Back into the Swing of Things: Back to School Advice

Seeing as it’s September, when many people go back to school or univeristy, I thought I’d talk about how to get back into the swing of things after summer ends. We’ve had our time of relaxing and doing nothing for long days, so now it’s time to roll up our sleeves and get stuck into life again.

We’re moving into a new season, which means it’s time to do a few things…

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Review

Whenever there’s a shift in time, like a new season or new month, I like to reflect. This means looking back (briefly) and documenting what you did and how it went. This is a great tool for keeping on track with habits and goals, but it’s also nice for those who simply want to live an intentional life rather than one lived on autopilot (acting without thinking).

How has the first half of the year been for you? What went wrong; what went right?

What were your goals at the start of 2019? Have you made any progress? Is it time to revisit them? Change them? Set new goals?

 

Get Organised

Everyone lives their life differently; I applaud and encourage that. But I do lean towards the idea that being organised, at least a little, goes a long way towards a meaningful and intentional life.

How to be more organised:

Having a calendar and actually using it (phone, laptop, wall, desk, whatever)
Having a way to organise your thoughts (journal, notebooks, phone notes app, sticky notes, whatever)
Going through the last four months of 2019 and writing out (somewhere) deadlines, birthdays, plans, must-dos, schedules for content or work or school etc
Determining a routine (even slightly) so that you have to make fewer decisions each day and keep on top of things. When are you going to do your housework, work projects, school work, hobby, exercise, socialising, mental health practices, reading, and so on?

 

Seasonal Intentions

This is a new thing I started last year and now I adore setting seasonal intentions. This means having a sort of Bucket List of things you’d like to do during a season (summer, spring, autumn, winter).

It’s turning Autumn now, which is my favourite time of year, so set some Autumn intentions to ensure you make the most of this season’s events. I like to make my intentions colourful and very visual in my planner. Print off pictures that inspire you, write out key dates and write what you’d like to do over the next 3 months.

 

Supplies & Space

This is a great time of year for you to have a refresh of your space and your stuff. My mom has redecorated her bedroom (much to the dismay of myself, due to all the mess), and doing so has been very cathartic for her.

Bringing newness into your life and your space is a beautiful way of decluttering both physically and mentally – brilliant for our wellness.

Go through your clothes and donate or sell what you don’t want or need
Go through old notebooks and files and recycle or upcycle what you don’t need
Redecorate and revamp your space
Go through emails and phone/laptop clutter
Ask, “does this spark joy?” Marie Kondo style!

 

Then once you’ve redone your space, you need supplies to help you to have a productive end to your year! This is perfect for back to school supplies, too.

Inspiring notebook(s)
Pens and pencils that actually work
An organiser of some sort (diary, calendar, bullet journal, app, etc)
Pencil case and folders
A backpack that fits your laptop in it
Highlighters

Check out Kalyn Nicholson’s GYST series on her YouTube channel for more help (GYST = Get Your Shit Together!)

 

Goal-Setting & Habits

It’s easy to break habits and routine over the summer period. Everyone wants to meet up, go on holiday, and have endless barbecues, thus taking you away from your usual day-to-day deeds. But with summer being over, it’s time to get back on track!

Ask yourself these questions, find the answers, set a goal, make a plan, take action, repeat!

What do I need in my life to stay healthy and happy? Physical health practices, mental and emotional health practices, brain food (literally and figuratively), fulfilling tasks etc.

What do I need to cut down or stop? Bad habits, vices, self-sabotage, limitations and setback mindsets and actions.

What brings me joy and fulfilment? How can I make time for this?

What’s working and not working? What can I do about it?

What were my goals at the beginning of 2019? Are these still appropriate?

What or who do I need to help me keep on track and smash my goals/habits? An accountability partner, a work out buddy, an organiser, a shift in environment (make habits easy by setting your environment up for success: don’t buy “bad foods”, leave your yoga mat out in plain sight, have folders or storage units for tidiness and organisation etc).

 

Get excited

Yes, summer is gone and that’s sad, but we have other things to look forward to yet this year. Cold weather may bring shorter, greyer days, but it also brings jumpers and blankets! Hot beverages and cosy nights in. Bonfires, fireworks, Christmas, Santa, pumpkins, Halloween and all that good stuff!

So, make a list of things that you’re looking forward to for the last third of the year.

 

Any other tips for getting back on track and making the most of the shift in seasons? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, did you complete the Confidence Challenge from August? How did it go? If not, binge-watch the series on my YouTube or here on my site.

Speak soon!

 

FYI: I’m going through some changes and so I can’t guarantee how present I’ll be on my site, YouTube or podcast with the beginning stages of these changes. I assume I’ll need a bit of an adjustment period and so I ask for your patience and understanding during this time.

Thanks, Mindset Managed Clan!

Much love, always x

Changes and New Beginnings (Podcast)

No matter where you are or who you are, things will change. It’s the only guarantee in life. Having the right mindset around changes and transitions is the only way to find happiness in new beginnings…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/changes-new-beginnings.mp3

 

Thanks for listening. Don’t forget you can follow my podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify to never miss a new episode every Monday!

The Confidence Challenge is Completed!

The Confidence Challenge is now complete! Well done if you completed all of the challenges during the month. But don’t forget, you can take on these challenges any time as needed.

Confidence is a muscle to be flexed again and again.

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Throughout the challenge, I hope I have inspired you to look at confidence in a new way. Seeing that confidence is something we are all able to strengthen within ourselves.

Throughout the month, we covered:

Weaknesses and imperfections
Rethinking what confidence really means
Beliefs that limit our confidence
Fear clouds confidence
Seeking outside validation
How to know yourself
Stories we tell ourselves
Comparison and confidence
Mantras and affirmations
Caring what people think of us
What confident people aren’t
“The Arena” and confidence
Environmental influence on confidence
Perspective and truth on self-awareness
Clapping from the badasses
Societal rules
Goals and focus builds confidence
Age and status
People are mirrors
Fear of being seen and shrinking
Laughing at yourself
Vulnerability and the unknown
Overwhelm and stress
Making decisions
Comfort zones
Trusting yourself

 

Here is the Confidence Challenge checklist for your referral again and again:

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I want you to simply take away from this month that confidence is not something that you either have or you don’t. It’s not about what you’re born with. It’s something you can cultivate at any time in your life. It’s a spectrum, a muscle, a practice, a choice that can be worked on (and should be) again and again.

Refer back to this content whenever you need to shift your mindset on confidence. Whenever you feel less confident.

Here’s the playlist from YouTube for you to binge at any moment:

 

Thank you for taking part and sharing it with me. I appreciate you all.

Speak soon x

 

How Trusting Yourself Means Confidence

Second to last video for the confidence challenge! It’s been a long month but a good one. I’m so glad I did the challenge and this video is very important even if you haven’t’ watched them all.

Trust yourself…

Click to play!

This week’s worksheet: Confidence Challenge Week Five Worksheet

Checklist for the challenge: Confidence Challenge Checklist

 

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