Leila Marie Lawler's Blog, page 9
December 16, 2023
Reading about orphans! Another last-minute gift list!
More today for our Library Project series and then probably none until after the holidays — you are pretty busy and I am down to the wire with ovens not quite operational, fridge not installed, and many bits & bobs left to deal with in this endless kitchen thing.
Above is a photo from last year, waaah… Don’t put the Christ Child in yet! But I will leave it like this because this post will be up until after Christmas Day.
(By the way, I keep wondering how much to post about kitchen doings. I don’t want to turn this into a kitchen-obsession blog! Let me know how much you want to read about it!)
Not quite foreseen is how messy all the other rooms are. So I have to tackle that as well, in hopes of putting up the tree, at least!
“Habibti*, is the village out under the piano?” was the question… no… there’s nothing. Not a thing.
*this is what my grandchildren call me — Arabic for “dearest” — often used for grandmothers (Habibi for grandfathers! As you know, my father was Egyptian.)
But I inadvertently came up with another last-minute gift list when I posted a meme on Instagram about how much children love stories about orphans! Well, girls do, and to some extent, maybe not as much, boys — what do you think about this? What is your observation? In this list there are many that would appeal to boys!
I asked people to share their favorite classic orphan stories and books, and they certainly did! Many are books we’ve recommended here before, but there were some that were unknown to me.
It branched out into some sharing their memories of playing orphans in hilarious ways. I will try to make all that a highlight on my IG profile so you can go through it.
If you are a bit frustrated with your children’s lack of imaginative play, you might want to step up the used-and-abused-with-happy-ending part of their book lists! If you could provide a handy abandoned train car out in the back, you might start to see results!
Here is the list! It includes some not technically orphan characters — we allow for those quite separated from parents in some way. Please comment with anything I’ve missed!
(I will provide an affiliate link for the first one and maybe one at the end, but I’m not going to the trouble of doing that for each one. You can open an Amazon tab with that first link and anything you purchase (anything!) for the next 24 hours will result in a small amount of bling-a-ching coming to me, at no cost to you. As always, it’s not at all necessary for you to do this, and I encourage everyone to seek out used copies of these older books — they are usually so pleasingly made, with much more charming illustrations than we get today.)
The Adventures of Perrine (affiliate link — I get a little cash when you buy — thank you for using the link for your shopping! [I have to say this every time, sorry] This particular volume might be found cheaper from a used book dealer, or keep your eye out at library sales) by Edith Malot
American Twins of 1812 by Lucy Fitch Perkins
Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery
Baby Island by Carol Ryrie Brink
The Boxcar Children series by Gertrude Chandler Warner
A Brother for the Orphelines by Natalie Savage Carlson
The Chalet School series by Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
The Children of the New Forest by Frederick Marryat
Children of the Oregon Trail by Anna Rutgers van der Loeff
The Christmas Doll by Elvira Woodruff
The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster.
Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott
A Family Apart by Joan Lowery Nixon (Orphan Train)
The Family Under the Bridge by Natalie Savage Carlson
The Famous Five by Enid Blyton
Five for Victory by Hilda van Stockum
Freckles by Gene Stratton Porter
Good Night Mr. Tom by Michelle Magorian
Heidi by Johanna Spyri (unabridged!)
Holly and Ivy by Rumer Godden
Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell
The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling
Listening for Lions by Gloria Whelan
The Little Duke by Charlotte M. Yonge
The Little Kidnappers (movie)
Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
Little Orphan Annie (movie)
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
Madeleine by Ludwig Bemelmans
Mandy by Julie Andrews
The Melendy Quartet by Elizabeth Enright
Miss Happiness and Miss Flower by Rumer Godden and Gary Blythe
My Side of the Mountain by Jean George
Nancy and Plum by Betty McDonald
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
A Place to Hang the Moon by Kate Albus
Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter (also the 2003 movie, highly recommend)
The Railway Children by E. Nesbit (also the 2000 movie, highly recommend)
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
The Shoe Books Series by Noel Streatfield
Sir Gibbie by George McDonald
The Story of King Arthur and His Knights by Howard Pyle
Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Two Years Before the Mast by Richard Henry Dana Jr.
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken (affiliate link — a little cash comes to me when you buy within 24 hours of opening the link!)
So there you have it! Some of these books, as I say, we have discussed already in the LMLD Library Project, which I encourage you to peruse!
On to our links! Merry Christmas!
bits & piecesOne follower sent me this funny IG reel of a gal demonstrating “how adults thought little girls played at sleepovers vs how we actually played” and it could not be more spot on! She gets all the fine points of orphan imagination!
We attended Lessons & Carols at the seminary in Boston and one of the motets was by the composer Nicholas Lemme. I encourage you to follow him! Another was by Paul Jernberg, our old friend — ditto!
When we awaken to the spiritual life within, many questions arise. For those living in the world (not tucked away in a convent or monastery), the big issue is with the seeming conflict between the real necessity to make a beautiful and orderly place here on earth and the need for austerity and detachment from worldliness! People can err one way or another. I think Peter Kwasniewski examines the problem with a lot of delicacy and insight about balance in true devotion in this post: Ascensional or Incarnational Spirituality: Threading the Needle. It’s long but I encourage you to read it to the end, maybe over a few days. It’s a good last-days-of-Advent meditation!
An important and, sorry, upsetting look at what gender clinicians say to each other — and what they don’t allow anyone to say. We have to pull back the curtain on the propaganda — that’s literally attacking children. The one thing left out of this article: every person at the conference stands to gain financially from their position on the subject. So what do we expect them to say and think?
I was interviewed by the gracious Helen Roy of the Girlboss Interrupted podcast. We had a good discussion about how fear of the work at home keeps feminism alive, but once we overcome the fear and resolve to gain competence for the sake of others, we are truly set free to make something the world truly needs!
Another posting of mine on Facebook led to a lively discussion about the grammatical errors committed when using the verbs to lie and to lay — errors sadly heard among homeschooling parents all too often, because we, or our toddlers, are the ones most likely to need to lay down take a nap! A friend posted this excellent article about the horrifying gaffe committed by a major news outlet in their reporting of a high-profile funeral — they ought to all resign in shame!
from the archives
The scientific method in your child’s education
Advent is for making. This last week will be more fulfilling if we spend it focused on making and preparing, and less on rushing about and partying before it’s time to do so! Planning on a little time to sit peacefully with children, helping them prepare simple gifts for loved ones, makes the best memories. It’s not easy at all, but it’s worth it. Now is the time to get out the wood burning kit, the potholder maker, the pinecones, and the , which everyone appreciates so much! Not to mention cookie baking and so on! Remember, there are twelve days of Christmas to celebrate — and beyond!
liturgical living
Tonight’s Vespers begin the O Antiphons.
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Reading about orphans! Another last-minute gift list! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
December 9, 2023
A few gift ideas – Sickness is part of life – Links!
I’m sure you’re as busy as I am, so we’ll make this quick!
This is the second mitten… if you are keeping track from last week. That’s thrumming by the way — extra warm!
I have nary a decoration up. We did get a tree so as not to miss out, but it’s still in the back of the truck as of this writing. I too am rounding up last-minute gifts, and thought you might be interested in a few I like — see below.
But first:
Auntie CornerThings have gotten weird: it seems like the idea is out there that we should avoid ever getting sick — that somehow, catching a virus, AKA common cold or flu, is a gigantic failure of hygiene and amounts to an assault on other people. It’s like getting the black badge of bad citizenship and people are out there already wearing masks and acting like they are going to die if you come near them.
Some of us lived through the Spanish Flu and the Asian Flu and Swine Flu and all sorts of epidemics [sic] that got no name attached to them. I am fond of recalling a year when the flu caused fully a third of my son’s middle school population to check out.
Did they close things down? No, of course not. Why do I say fond? Because first, this memory is a good bulwark against panic-inducing rhetoric and second, it happened to be the kind of flu where everyone was just a bit feverish and sort of lay there, needing not more than occasional ginger ales, light meals, and stories read to them on the rare occasions they were awake.
It was three weeks of quiet, by the time everyone got it and recovered. It was okay. We made it. I recommend having a good supply of sofas!
It’s not good for immune systems for people to cower. The best defense against sickness is to fortify yourself and your family with healthy food, sleep, and robust exercise, outdoors if possible. Anxiety makes things much worse — self-inflicted anxiety is awful and hard to recover from.
Sickness is a normal part of life — you won’t be able to avoid it, chances are! Know what to do. Be confident and prepared in the usual way that parents always have been. Stay out of the hospital if at all possible, because sick people can get very much more sick there. Did you know that medical care might be (I mean who can trust statistics) the third leading cause of death in the US, according to Johns Hopkins?
Sadly, there are a lot of people bringing their children to the hospital needlessly, because our health care system is in a shambles, as are our families. The best place for a non-acute illness is at home. (Note the word non-acute and learn what acute means — Auntie Leila is not responsible for a lack of common sense!)
Here is my guide to taking common-sense care of a sick person — make sure to read the comments too!
Remember: many good things happen when someone gets a cold or flu. Children have time to read books they might not otherwise have picked up. Mother — if she is not beholden to outside commitments — has the opportunity to show a special kind of love and care. The schedule is suspended, and it’s sometimes a relief; at least we find out that busyness is not all there is to life.
Basically, just know that people have always, do, and will always get sick sometimes! It’s a normal part of life. Yes, even if some people are vulnerable. It’s still how life goes.
Gift Corner
Some gifts that might help with your list! Amazon links are affiliate links as noted — a small amount comes to me at no cost to you! Thank you! Other links are not affiliate ones. Everything is something we like and enjoy.
I think the little tags will make a lovely garland decoration, don’t you?
I love these little handmade “Pips” dolls and the price seems really good to me.
This is now one of my husband’s favorite sweaters.(affi liate link)
Bridget enjoys these embroidery kits so much, and even gave me one, which I am still working on!
Some young ‘uns need their own tool kit, with real tools. (affiliate link)
Kids enjoy this rocker board and it has scope for imaginative play as well. (affiliate link)
I hope this helps! Do leave your best gift ideas in the comments, and if you are so minded, you can use one of my affiliate links to open an Amazon page to purchase.
bits & pieces
The power of touch. I remember reading this story (it’s from 1995) and being struck by how technology can replace important human contact, especially with babies and children and indeed anyone fragile.
The Historian and Vocation with Dr. Christopher J. Lane. Parents are often burdened with anxiety over their child’s future, and a young person can become overwhelmed by the idea of discernment. Historian Christopher Lane offers a good perspective on the topic in this podcast, one which will be calming, I think.
If you are in the greater Boston area, join us in attending the St. John’s Seminary Chapel for Advent Lessons & Carols! (It’s tonight as well, at 7). Come over and say hi!
from the archives
A past gift guide of mine that might be of use — I’m not sure how the links are working, but hopefully you’ll get some ideas!An article I wrote about how Advent can help us live Order and Wonder in the home!
liturgical living
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post A few gift ideas – Sickness is part of life – Links! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
December 2, 2023
How to encourage good conversational habits in children
Even homeschooled children will ultimately make their way into a classroom, probably in college or maybe in high school.
When they do, they will need to be able to participate in a good discussion: listening, speaking, venturing their hypotheses, not dominating, not being so reticent that no one notices them. (Not to mention just speaking in groups generally!)
On the other hand, I recently saw a post somewhere where the author, in response to what sounded to me like a valid criticism, stated that she observed her loud, unruly, and (in her own account of the feedback!) overbearing children in some group setting, and decided they were casting off the shackles of convention, and that is a good thing, she thought, proving how free they are and so on.
No, not really!
How do you prepare your child for the experience of sharing ideas with others, which, after all, is truly the joy of education and the delight of learning? How do we help fit a child for interacting with others, especially under tutelage, and then later with others they respect and can benefit from and help in their turn?
It’s a problem for teachers and professors that students have few skills for speaking up and being productive in class. Even children who have gone to school lack, demographically speaking, the practice offered by the rough and tumble of sibling competition overseen by prudent parents.
I firmly believe that the dinner table is where the child learns good habits. It’s where his personality and ideas grow, receiving the checks and balances needed in the context of a loving circle.
Advent, as a new beginning, is the perfect time to address things in the family that need to be worked on or rectified and in general to make dinnertime enjoyable.
Family dinners can get a big boost in this season if we give a little thought and make a conscious effort to instill new habits — and don’t worry! The children are up for it. Far from judging you or thinking less of you for making a change, they are remarkably open to your efforts. Try it.
I have already written it all out for you! It’s a chapter in my book (with many surrounding chapters to flesh out the problems, challenges, and details of family life) and there are lots of posts here.
The main points here are seven, and I hope they pique your interest enough for you to read the whole thing:
1. Your children don’t have to sit with you for very long. Manage expectations, including your own. Don’t look for instant results: prioritize your conversation with your spouse.
2. Everyone has to be polite. Manners are important. Don’t allow rudeness — this is a matter of gentle correction for the very young, who have no context, and swift handling for the older ones. Spouses, be courteous to each other.
3. One conversation. This point is the most important, long-term, for giving even your shyest, most reticent child the confidence to speak up, even in a classroom situation that he feels is intimidating. If you follow this one rule that my husband instituted at the start, you will give your child the gift of being able to speak up in a group. I go into great detail about it. In retrospect, I see how crucial this habit was in making our children pleasant to be around.
4. Children can be asked to stop talking. There is often that one person (hopefully it is a child who can be corrected, and not an adult!) who feels that everything said must pass through him for a reaction. This attitude must be reined in. Learning to listen means that one must, occasionally, stop talking! Say, “It’s time now for you to think your own thoughts inside. Stop talking, dear.”
5. “Not of general interest.” Take a tip from a father of twelve! Parents absolutely can and should guide the conversation! With a sense of humor, of course.
6. Be understanding of the younger ones. These things take time. Let your children develop — let them be quite imperfect. Gradually you will see results; be patient.
7. Younger ones are low on the totem pole. Hierarchy in the family is a good thing! Don’t let it be overthrown.
If you are interested in many more aspects of each of these points (and if you comment, especially, because chances are I have addressed your concern in the post or its comments — or in my chapter!), do read it all!
Kitchen Corner
I have been musing on how many decisions go into choosing one’s aesthetic. There is pressure to get it right. As I ponder my inspiration photos, I realize how many of the details in them are things I would never choose, yet overall I like what’s going on.
That gives me hope! It helps me see that “open shelves” and “color” and “mixing it up” and “natural materials” are more important to me than any one particular thing, like stove or even which natural material… I would love a stone floor (though I would break everything on it, so I didn’t choose it) but I love a wooden one as well. I actually just love lots of things, though I am also extremely picky! Not sure what my point is… maybe it’s that I love lots of things and so the choices seem hard to make, but really, lots of things will work very well for my goal.
Here are some examples of overall delight without necessarily loving every detail or even general clutter (sometimes purposely thrown in for the photo, so you have to ignore those things):
What these pictures have in common, I think, is that each thing in them was chosen because it fit the situation or the person loved it. There seems to be no overall plan.
I can do that!
Knitting CornerStill plugging along on my color work sweater, Altheda. I had to rip out a lot in figuring out the fit of the body. Several times.
Made some mittens.
Working on some thrummed mittens, which go slowly but are O So Warm and Soft!
A reader sent me this recently published book, The Star of Bethlehem, (affiliate link) and it’s really fascinating. The author is a priest who is also an astronomer. I don’t know how it jibes with the Star of Bethlehem movie I watched and enjoyed a few years ago. Maybe one of your high school students can compare and contrast! For more on the issue of ancient astrology and contemporary astronomy, I recommend the much longer book, Planet Narnia, by Michael Ward (affiliate link) (who converted from the Anglican Church and is also a priest now!).
On to our links!
bits & piecesIf you have been doing the Advent wreath over the years and you are looking for prayers with a bit more, also using the Collects of the Sundays, go here.Speaking of Michael Ward, here is an article, C. S. Lewis, Jupiter and Christmas, that gives a taste for his scholarship and insight (on my favorite topics).
Fr. Pokorsky: Tangible Lifelines to God’s Strategic Plan for Our Salvation
We really do need to learn to say no to the busyness, even if the things are good.
Go here for the free download of our favorite little Advent calendar from Fig & Thimble! (This is the Roman one — they also have an Eastern calendar one).
A good reflection on the liturgical year, which is a great mystery, actually: Sanctifying Time as the World Ends
Here is that site that our dear reader Anitra runs, The Family Gamers, all about family board games and tips for playing them! See this post, regarding sore losers. Also do see the comments on this post for helpful thoughts on making board games more pleasurable for all. I particularly appreciated the advice to institute the rule that the winner cleans up.
from the archivesDon’t miss this post, on how to set the family table. Sometimes we don’t even realize the practical details that make our dreams come true.
There’s still today to get our Advent ducks in a row.
liturgical living
Of course, tomorrow is the First Sunday of Advent. Many feasts are headed our way. Keep calm and remember, a little nod to them, a reading, a small little extra treat to commemorate, this is all we need.
Do remember St. Nicholas, December 6th, if you want to have the children put out their shoes or stockings — maybe pick up some gold coins (they usually have them at Aldi and at the drug store candy counter) and other little chocolates? Some parents have the lovely tradition of giving the children warm socks, slippers, or holiday pajamas on this day. Wish I had thought of it, but I guess I am here to say, you will survive even if you don’t do all the things!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post How to encourage good conversational habits in children appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
November 18, 2023
Kitchen update with some quick Thanksgiving and Advent chat!
My life is in such imposed disorder, plus I had the flu this past week, that I have no pictures for you other than these that I took on this low-light day and not yesterday when the sun was shining because I’m a bad blogger BUT — they are of the cabinets!! HOORAY!!
Even though I didn’t turn the light on and it’s raining and cloudy, it is bright in here! Hooray for big windows!! By the way, the trim for the window is that object leaning against the fireplace. Stalkers will note how it has just been moved all around over the weeks… Once the counter is in, it will be popped into place!
Here, below, we are looking towards the pantry, and that door will be installed on the other side, the door between the mudroom and kitchen! So light can come through! (The pantry door was taken down long ago, on the theory that one can only cope with so many places in one’s house where doors bang into each other.)
Here is the radiator, newly painted and placed in its new spot:
The radiator used to be over here, below, when the wall came further into the room, where those cabinet boxes are sitting on the left. Imagine the radiator in front of those cabinetsto get an idea of the change:
A peek of the cabinet color (for the lower level and fridge cupboard): Benjamin Moore’s Governor’s Gold (everything else is Calming Cream):
I don’t know if I posted my inspiration photo for the colors here yet. Here it is (taken from my favorite decorating book ever – affiliate link):
The island, which is more of a farmer’s table idea but with enough storage to compensate for some of the upper cabinets I eliminated:
I know it’s hard to picture everything in this state, or even be very interested, so thanks for sticking with me — I had to share. You can go to other “kitchen reno” posts (just search the tag) for befores and so on. Later, when it’s more pulled together, I will have more analysis for you!
But for now, let’s just bask in the light at the end of this particular tunnel of endless waiting!
On to promised chit-chat:
Wow, I have noticed a considerable increase in the pace of commercial-driven pseudo-seasons. We went to Christmas before Halloween was even over. Thanksgiving doesn’t even get a glance in the rear-view mirror.
But I also have noticed a funny thing: this year, people are saying “I have this feeling, a strange thought, like maybe preparing, getting ready, not for Christmas exactly, but for setting the stage for my actual Christmas prep… I feel the need to clear things up and make it possible for me to bake cookies and decorate when the time comes… if only I could, like, attend to the things I need to do before it all gets going… ”
If only there were a season, a liturgical season even, for just this purpose and more! If only we could do a sort of preparation for a coming time, in our homes but also in our souls!
Good news! There is such a season, and it’s called Advent!
And more good news! It doesn’t start for a bit, so we have a little time to enjoy Thanksgiving! Yes, that is a secular feast to be sure, but one dear to our hearts as Americans and a joyous occasion of gathering and, dare I say, giving thanks to God. It is good to be mindful of the passing of natural time, of the harvest (even if some are a bit removed from it — all the more reason in my humble opinion), of our fellow-feeling with our countrymen.
If we keep it simple, we can do some small tasks we need to do for the time ahead, like order cards. And if we had curtailed the more ghastly, crime-scene aspects of our Halloween observance (as I hope we all have, to say the least), and spent November, spiritually speaking, contemplating death and the afterlife, as tradition urges us to do, our autumnal decorations can stand us in good stead right up to December 3, the first day of Advent this year.
I am nothing if not pro-Advent.
I can hardly link to all the posts I have on this subject. It’s not too much for me to say this: Your whole life will be transformed if you observe Advent.
It is a season that offers a needed and gentle penitential, austere path while consoling us in the darkening days with feasts that should not be missed. It takes us from “the people who walked in darkness” to those who “saw a great light,” at its own pace. It brings us Baby Jesus, coming to save us. No one can resist His charm, not really! But we need that purgative way — how can we have festivity if we don’t prepare ourselves?
Not to mention the very real necessity of actual preparation, which takes time. Instead of burdening ourselves with the goal of producing “Christmas” all at once, let’s do it little by little.
It’s so odd to me, the response I often get: “But I love Christmas!” Yes, so do we! That’s why we are happy to finally have it all pulled together by the first day of Christmas, December 25th, and then continue to celebrate through all twelve days and beyond! Believe me, it’s much more fulfilling this way.
Start here with this post, The week that is not Advent. (People always ask me about Advent music, and there is so much of it! Time to learn so many beautiful, traditional hymns and amazing pieces. Let’s recover our Christian heritage!)
bits & pieces
The Catholic Thing has great articles. Two I’ve recently enjoyed are these:
The Lord of Substance by Michael Pakaluk. A reflection on the miracles of Our Lord changing the substance of things, or, what actually happened when He walked on water, and what does it tell us about other things He did?The Two Ways: Hearth or Hygiene? by Julian Kwasniewski. Using the poetic diction of types, Julian is able to contrast approaches to life that are oriented either to flourishing or to death.
They also published one of mine today:
Beware Church Use of ‘Transgender’ LanguagePlease, if you can manage it, don’t shop at Target.
Fr. McTeigue picked up my Happy Despite Them post and interviewed me on his podcast. We had a great conversation — come listen!
We know the Toppings, and it’s so nice to see them featured on this program about large families. Theirs is a lovely model of prayer and joy. Nine boys and a little girl! And Ryan and Anna are so sweet. If you are looking for some gentle encouragement, here you go!
This article is in that somewhat annoying “collection of tweets” mode, but observing the 20th anniversary of the making of Master and Commander is a good thing to do! Great movie, a must-watch for your family. Men doing manly things.
The John Senior You Tube channel is at least partially restored (oh, the irony! IYKYK).
from the archivesI should have posted last week, sorry: the Thanksgiving post with all my tips and thoughts for families with actual children and other vectors of chaos. Hey, guys, make all the jokes you want about dusting baseboards but I personally cannot think if the background noise — AKA mess and dirt — is not turned down. Once the baseboards are wiped I can give my attention to gravy. But wiping baseboards on the Wednesday of is insanity — do it now.
Cheerfulness
liturgical living
Dedication of the Basilicas of Sts. Peter and Paul.
Next Saturday I won’t be popping in here, so be sure to prepare yourselves for Christ the King if not going by the Traditional Calendar, and here’s Deirdre’s cake for you!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Kitchen update with some quick Thanksgiving and Advent chat! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
November 11, 2023
Yes, living on one income is still possible!
Food is really expensive. It seems overwhelming to try to live on one income and feed the family, especially if large. I keep seeing people saying, “It’s not feasible; it can’t be done anymore.” They are wrong!
The thing is, the household needs a manager of all its resources. If both husband and wife work, the household will always be at the mercy of high prices, because things spiral: the more you work, the more you need to alleviate your scarce time (and exhaustion) with conveniences. The more you spend on food “because you don’t have time to cook” the greater the need to make more money. Very quickly, the children are viewed as the problem and we are urged to have ever fewer. The messaging is all futility, all the time.
Escape from this syndrome lies in the wife accepting the responsibility for being the household manager, manager of time and money and resources. While there is no paycheck for this role, there is considerable savings (I mean if we look at it financially — there are so many other non-monetary advantages of course, and those I have written about as well).
This is the homemaker’s province. The wise and frugal wife can help her family thrive on very little and ultimately oversee its flourishing. But it requires work and thought, especially at first. The thought is so necessary — no one but she can figure it out! There is no other person who can take into account the needs and circumstances of the family but she.
It can be done and I want to tell you — especially anyone new here — that my methods will help. They are here on the blog (look up at the menu bar under Dinner Every Day for all the posts). They comprise a whole volume, the third, in my Summa Domestica (currently on sale, 35% off!)
The food expense challenge has two parts.
The first is to plan what the family would and could eat. Planning implies knowing. The facts evolve — children grow, tastes change, needs emerge, your own skills improve. What are all these facts for your family?
The second is to know where the food can be obtained and what the prices are. Grocery store? Costco? Food co-op? Your own garden/homestead? There is no one place where everything is cheaper and better. The good housewife “is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.”
This coming week, can you devote yourself to that first part?
Read these posts from the bottom up.
I suggest a notebook (but it can be done on the computer) in which you write down the breakfasts, lunches, and suppers your family will and can eat. I explain making your own menus here (and why it needs to be menus, not just “pork chops”).
Some homemakers say they don’t meal-plan, but I think that might be a bit misleading.
They have likely internalized the template I’m talking about here and have arrived at a place where it’s all second nature. But the beginning homemaker who doesn’t want to be reliant on pre-made food and constant going out/ordering in needs to analyze the process and figure it out for herself.
In any case, as I explain, a busy household does require some planning for the different kinds of days — busy days during which we resort to buying food made elsewhere, because we didn’t plan. I show you my thought process but you can apply it to your own situation.
My way is, I believe, unique, in that it’s very detailed but also totally freeing for your own life, which is so different from everyone else’s.
The trick of frugal and good meal planning is to replace as many of the pre-packaged, prepared expensive foods with homemade inexpensive ones as you are able. For instance, I know that many mothers plan on buying cooked chickens on their big Costco run day, but consider instead putting a hearty bean soup in the slow cooker before you head out. Those chickens are not healthy, don’t go very far, don’t taste wonderful, and seem cheap but aren’t, as they are very small. You still need sides and so on, and might end up eating your savings all on that one day.
In fact, challenge yourself to do completely without any restaurant or takeout food until you master the thrifty way of meal planning. Eating out (or taking in) is a hidden and extreme tax on your budget, and I say this as someone who is at the mercy of it all during this kitchen renovation.
As I was buying our week’s bread the other day, I noticed that I bought was literally 10 times what I could make it for, maybe more, and goes without saying, nowhere near as tasty or nutritious. In fact, our imposed regime has led to me gaining about 10 lbs, sadly, even though I do make most of our meals, camp-style!
From our days of many kids and small budget, I can attest that it’s possible to schedule in another soup day (fortified with unlimited bread and butter), and to turn Sunday’s roast into many eagerly awaited meals in the coming weeks.
If making everything from scratch sounds exhausting, think about what I call Save-A-Step cooking to be more efficient but still homemade.
Figuring this out takes hours of work — at first. Later, it becomes second nature. “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” Remember, if you get a job, it will take more hours of work to get up to speed there, and then, it’s all work from there on out.
For the second part of the challenge, really know your prices. You need to know the unit prices of everything you buy. Even the food co-op delivering things in giant sacks has some items that are more cheaply found elsewhere.
If you are buying a lot of salad greens in big plastic containers, think about how to grow greens yourself next year (or now if you live somewhere with a warm climate — salad greens grow beautifully in quite cool weather and can even be grown inside!). Kale and chard grow perfectly, cost virtually nothing, and can be frozen for soups in the winter. But if you’re buying, you need to know which stores carry the cheapest, best vegetables.
Cut-up fruits and vegetables are pricey– learn to prepare the whole ones at home. Buy a cabbage and a bag of carrots rather than “slaw mix,” for instance. I bet you have a food processor lurking somewhere… or a sharp knife!
You don’t have to cut up raw squash, much less buy it pre-cut — bake it whole and peel and cut it up after. Two-income households buy pre-sliced apples; housewives are good with slicing apples at home. Look at the unit price to confirm the savings.
Roast several chickens at once; bake four loaves of bread, minimum, at a time; get your ham with the bone in so you can easily make homemade soup another day.
my garden this past May
You will have to go to multiple stores for the best prices, and in order to maximize this effort, plan to buy in bulk when you are there. That means figuring out storage — again, only you can know what your circumstances are. Do you need more shelving or another fridge or deep freezer? Look on Facebook Marketplace and your local buy/sell/give for cheap or free — they will pay for themselves. “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”
It goes without saying that we’ll have to tighten our belts and eliminate a lot of frills in the grocery expenditure, but in the end we’ll be healthier for it, and definitely happier to know that our food is homemade and of good quality, even if very simple.
I can’t put it all into one post, but I have gone into all the details for you here and in my book. You can do it! Change your mindset from “it’s impossible” to “there is a way! and I will find it”! Make your role model not the helpless women of today who don’t know how to cut up a potato, much less a whole chicken, but the thrifty mothers, past and present, who skillfully make the most of what their husbands provide.
We will survive this imposed dearth, and with good cheer! “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” (Proverbs 15: 17)
Kitchen Reno Corner
The floor is in and finished!
That structure in front of the fireplace is the trim for the big window; it will be put in when the counter is installed. It has to be moved all the time!
The cabinets are due to arrive this coming week!
Art Corner
I love my son-in-law John Folley’s Our Lady of Victory print! I’m so happy he gave me one.
A while ago his Instagram account was hacked and deleted. He has a new one — follow him if you’re on there!
Reader Question Corner
In the Department of Auntie Leila Sure Doesn’t Know, a reader asks “how do you get your children to play board games without sulking, whining, anger, pride, bad temper, etc?”
I had so little tolerance for it that I’m sure I don’t know, but they grew up to play board games a lot, including with their own young children! They seem to just somehow move on from meltdowns and power through. What do you do at your house? Do your kids play board games with each other? Do you assume their friends will provide the necessary feedback to render them good sports? Do you wait for your husband to teach them?
bits & piecesA fun post from Peter Kwasniewski about coffee, and I say that as a tea-drinker who has never had even one cup of coffee! Tea is the true “cup of the needful” if we are really reading P. G. Wodehouse, who apparently scorns java as not worthy of mention, if I recall correctly!
He also helpfully points us to this resource for chanting the Rosary in Latin. I think learning these chants is not hard, and singing the Rosary is a wonderful idea for processions, pilgrimages, etc.
It’s coming — all the hot takes about Our Lady, the Blessed Mother, being an unwed teen. I will never stop reminding you that this is false. Were Mary and Joseph really married?
This man reclaims yarn from thrift store sweaters.
from the archives
If you are not going to click on all my food management posts (or if you want even more), how about these:
Start your more frugal life!
Self control — we all need it!
liturgical living
Listen to Michael Ward’s speech at Hillsdale if you have some time. His speech begins at the 36 minute mark. Did you know that the word “chapel” comes from St. Martin’s “cape”?
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Yes, living on one income is still possible! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
November 4, 2023
Ask Auntie Corner: Baby sleep, Church behavior, and more!
Baby Sleep
I’ve had several emails from overworked moms, tired moms, moms not knowing how they can do one more thing, and they all have this in common: an older baby and/or toddler who won’t give them a good night’s sleep.
I want to say that I do have an appendix in my book about this situation. I do not ever recommend sleep training an infant — I have many posts about nursing the baby, not worrying about baby sleeping with you (in fact, I recommend it!), and taking naps during the day. The infant stage is by definition one where you will most likely not be at all rested.
But seriously, that older baby/toddler needs to sleep.
Sleep is a human right! Down with tyrants, however small! These are the two books I recommend (affiliate links — I do receive a small compensation if you buy something using them, but also you can get them at the library): Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber (caveat: get your breastfeeding advice here on LMLD and our trusted sources, as always — the aim isn’t to get your newborn to sleep all night) and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth (caveat: you actually won’t ruin your child for life if he has bad sleep habits as they imply here, so don’t let this scare you — you can always fix things, see the Ferber book; it’s just that everyone will be happier including the child in question if sleep occurs).
You could handle all your other issues if you (and your poor husband) could just get some sleep.
Before you comment: this is my position: No sleep training for infants and young babies. No pretending that older babies and toddlers aren’t war criminals with one aim, viz.: to torture the family with sleep deprivation. If you happen to have had an irenic older baby who slept angelically without ever troubling you, well, God bless you.
Two-year-old Church Behavior
I don’t have the energy to tackle the whole “children at Mass” thing right now, though in a way all my discipline posts contain the answer (child development is all about helping our children learn that the world outside them exists, within the context of loving firmness, and it’s an ongoing process with which everyone needs to be patient and get lots of practice). But I got one email about a specific question, to wit:
Please, oh please, tell us how you managed your young children in Mass. We have had good success with our older two, but the two-year-old is throwing us for a loop!
Thank you!
Desperate Mama of Four
Here is my response, and I will say at the outset: People are basically looking for an indication that parents are a) taking care of their children and b) aware that some behaviors are not okay to ignore, as ignoring them signals your heedlessness of others. For instance, they are usually fine with one yell or some fussing that is being attended to and then ends; what makes them anxious, and not able to express themselves charitably, is ignored hollering or noisy importuning that just goes on and on.
Within this framework, there are varying degrees of impatience, selfishness, and friction on both sides, so everyone needs to just do their best, especially in our world of very few children at all, so how out of practice are we!
Dear DMoF:
Divide and conquer!
Place your bodies in strategic ways. Maybe your husband has to hold the baby while you keep the two-year-old close to you; then when the baby cries, you must switch. Keep the 2yo apart from the 4yo or whoever it is who is maybe inciting him or her to naughtiness. In other words, train a sharp eye on things and strategize beforehand (as to where to sit, near the side aisle, and so on) so your husband can make a quick getaway with the 2yo. Yes, take that miscreant entirely out of the main space — go right out into the vestibule, skipping the cry room if one unfortunately exists.
Know that 2 yos can’t understand a thing about expectations… Don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’s about explaining things better! Yes, eventually. But right now it’s like taking a monkey to Mass, what can I say.
Go to an earlier (quicker) Mass, or a later one, consistent with nap times, or sometimes separate so you don’t have to struggle every single week. I learned during this time about how hungry young children get in the Mass situation; yet, a bag of cheerios is hardly the answer. Be sure to get up early enough to make a breakfast with plenty of protein and fat. One frozen waffle will surely result in a crash.
My husband spent many a Mass pacing around at the back of the church. The people who say “just do x or y” have children who are amenable to their clever strategies; many are not! They will just continue being obliviously naughty until they are older! Remember, this scenario is happening to this young child once every seven days — a habit for someone whose life has been so short up until now surely needs more practice than that.
It’s just a matter of waiting it out until they can understand better, as well as working on all those other situations (visits to the library and so on) in which one cannot simply holler one’s head off at will. In a year you’ll have a better chance at success. Lower your standards about how much of Mass you will take in, and you may be surprised. Maybe not… but don’t have high standards because you will definitely be disappointed!
Kitchen Corner
I have a floor! I love it. It’s heart pine and I plan to have it finished with tung oil.
I have lighting! Almost all… still have two more fixtures to put up, one of which had to be re-wired. Can’t wait to show it to you!
I had a terrible moment when the new exterior window and door trims were painted.
It’s just the wrong color. It’s a bit complicated, because my house colors are from California Paints, now defunct. So when Benjamin Moore, which had carried that brand, reproduces those colors, they use a formula, and the formula is not good in this case!
How it’s supposed to look:
How it’s not supposed to look (ignore the deck, gutter, etc):
I had a very bad feeling, a significant sinking and slowly expiring feeling, because I don’t have the paint chips handy (they are somewhere but who knows where in my state of having moved all such things around) and there was no piece of trim to take in — all of it was long ago hauled away. Was I going to start mixing random cans of paint (despite being warned against this and indeed strictly forbidden by some of my offspring who know well the dangers of this, a thing I often do)?
I took the can to my paint store here, where they are super willing to help you figure out your most impossible color wishes (or is that just me). Fortunately, no one else was in the store at the time, so the two lovely owners were able to find the old fan deck and locate my color, scan it, ascertain for themselves that “this formula is not a good one,” and mix up a new can that is correct. I could have hugged them!
I am feeling much better now. I just didn’t know what I was going to do!
I will say that after 14 years I still really love the colors of my house*. Also, the back here was just repainted, so it is not a matter of changing them!
*If you are interested, my house colors are California Paint Jonquil (450-91), intensified with 1/4 more added pigment, and Pale Organza (455-991) for the trim. However, it is clearly not going to work for them to just do whatever computerized formula they have in there. They have to scan the chip. The correct formula (at least for the trim) is now stored on my personal account at that paint store, though, so I am going to see if I can contact Benjamin Moore about it!
Book Corner
Old textbooks often have this delightfully conversational style that puts our present-day ones to shame. I came across this one, Calculus Made Easy, that might help your student get through what is otherwise often a scary undertaking. “What One Fool Can Do, Another Can” is its subtitle, and the first chapter is “To Deliver You from the Preliminary Terrors.”
I always recommend Arthur Robinson’s articles (found on the sidebar of that link; I don’t necessarily recommend his curriculum in the form it’s presented there). In the essays about math, he points out that calculus is the language of physics, and will make sense in that context — when you are trying to describe something, you need the right language for the task. What’s the point of learning it for its own sake? No wonder it seems formidable, even scary, since that’s what we try to do.
bits & piecesMarxists always want to erase history and cut people off from the past, often in the meanest, seemingly pointless ways. — and are succeeding.
An important article: ‘Gender-Affirming Care Is Dangerous. I Know Because I Helped Pioneer It.’
The young people we were treating were not thriving. Instead, their lives were deteriorating. We thought, what is this? Because there wasn’t a hint in studies that this could happen. Sometimes the young people insisted their lives had improved and they were happier. But as a medical doctor, I could see that they were doing worse. They were withdrawing from all social activities. They were not making friends. They were not going to school. We continued to network with colleagues in different countries who said they were seeing the same things.
I attempted to address the rising international concerns about pediatric gender transition at this year’s annual conference of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. But the two proposed panels were rejected by the academy. This is highly disturbing. Science does not progress through silencing. Doctors who refuse to consider evidence presented by critics are putting patient safety at risk.
Stunning Mosaic of Trojan Hero Aeneas Unearthed in Turkey
Cardinal Burke and Sienkiewicz on the Limits of Authority
from the archivesSpeaking of curriculum: here’s my review of a series on the lectures of Faraday for your science curriculum.
Note that the authors offer the PDF version of the book for free, and the videos are embedded in my post. This is a really excellent addition to your science classes, highly recommended.
Here’s my long, long post about vision in the homeschool — I talk about the Robinson Curriculum in it.Affirmation in the thick of things
Deirdre on 5 Reasons To Opt for Traditional Christmas Cards this Year
liturgical living
November is the month that brings with it a sense of our impending death and turns our minds to those who have gone before us. This week (counting from All Soul’s Day) we can obtain a plenary indulgence for those in Purgatory under the usual conditions, including by visiting a cemetery. Let’s not skip ahead to Christmas, lest we lose these opportunities to draw closer to God in the liturgy!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Ask Auntie Corner: Baby sleep, Church behavior, and more! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
October 28, 2023
A new grandson!
We are so happy to share the news of the birth of little Lionel “Leo” Joseph, son of our Nick and Natasha! (It’s pronounced “Lee-onel”)
Their three big boys are all overjoyed to meet him, and we could not be happier with our 19th grandchild!
Isn’t he darling??
Yes, we had two grandchildren born just about a month apart. Little Jack was born at the end of September! I’m telling you, life comes at you fast! But we are so delighted — can’t wait for those cousin reunions!
As an only child, I almost can’t take it all in. I have no idea if I can keep up with birthdays and so on… but I will try. I know it’s hard to believe, if you only have a toddler or a baby, or even a bunch of young’uns running around, that it can all escalate this way, but — believe!
On to our links, where we can chat more, because I don’t think I can top this news!
bits & pieces
Following my last post with its appreciation of John Senior, “the most influential educator you never heard of,”as I like to call him, a reader who studied with him (who wishes not to be named) sent me a link. Here is what he said:
“Dear Mrs. Lawler, After he retired, Mr. Senior recorded volumes of cassette tapes with Mr. Quinn. The content was very much like their classroom conversations. The tapes covered many of the topics from the IHP [Integrated Humanities Program] courses they taught originally with Mr. Nelick and later (after KU Administrators killed the IHP [for its success!]) by themselves. It has to be said that the tapes were awfully hard to listen to because the recording technique was intentionally unsophisticated. They occasionally took time to explain their approach to recording while recording. Two weeks ago a broadcaster friend of mine in Cincinnati “put me wise” to an AI based enhancement process that I immediately tested on one of the professors’ cassette tapes. The results were marvelous. I recommend listening to Good Books for Children first. “
If your book club is having trouble reading a book, maybe they could listen to these recordings and then you could discuss? So much wisdom!
Here is a well expressed analysis of the woman’s dilemma, The Mother’s Gauntlet, written by a young mother and scholar, Lane Scott.
Here’s what I thought: It honestly makes me say to myself, “Oh, I too have undergone all these varying conflicting emotions, desires, and difficulties in my exodus from the feminist world, foisted on me by the accidents of time and place. I should write about how important it is to know what to do at home and why” — and then I remembered, I did and continue to do so! Right here on Like Mother, Like Daughter, and in my books (see the bit at the bottom of this post — do you skip it? Or do you follow the links?).
We can’t remain in a perpetual state of simply identifying the issue. At some point, we have to pull up our big-girl pants and do something about it. What we find in the process of committing is that we aren’t just solving a personal problem — we are restoring a culture! This is what I want to say to women: try to overcome the individualistic issue and recognize the very great mission calling out to our sex! Let’s be “like an army arrayed for battle!”
On that note, I have to share something a friend sent me: Her daughter’s friend gave her sister The Summa Domestica as a wedding gift (“I’m telling you, the are the best wedding gift!!!!”). She, the friend, received this text:
The gal who sent this to me followed up with: “For reference, the newlyweds just graduated from MIT. They like doing things THE RIGHT WAY!” I would love live updates, wouldn’t you??
I am not baking these days for obvious reasons (my kitchen being only gradually put back together again), but my friend Kathryn made these pecan pie bars for our St. Clare’s Guild (AKA “knit night”) and the recipe is a keeper. I personally ate three of these bars…
A good interview on the topic of homeschooling — history, a court case, thoughts about its difficulty — with Dixie Lane, long-time friend of LMLD and scholar of the topic, from the Home School Legal Defense Fund podcasts. I enjoyed her calm reassurance (and nice speaking voice) about the centrality of the natural ability of parents to teach their children, broadly, even if they are aware of lacunae in their own formation. We can do this, because we love our children!
from the archivesI read a long, technical article from The Centre for Independent Studies in Australia about the importance of math (“maths”) fluency and the need for children to have speed in their calculations. What do you need to know? I wrote about it here (much more accessibly if I do say so myself). As homeschoolers, we don’t need to sign on to complicated programs and assessments. We can observe our children and give them the help they need, fairly simply.
Rescuing History in the homeschool
living liturgically
Today is a glorious feast day, Feast of the Apostles Saints Simon and Jude. Coming up this week is of course Halloween and then the start of November, when we remember the saints who precede us, known and unknown, and the Holy Souls who need our prayers.
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post A new grandson! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
October 14, 2023
Toddlers are not the problem
I mean, toddlers are the problem. No one can deal with them and they are definitely the X (chaos) factor in all your well laid plans.
But when it comes to homeschooling, it’s better not to imagine your older children peacefully and profitably sitting at desks all day, absorbing knowledge and wisdom with nary a care. Not if you have a toddler or two, with a newborn tossed in for good measure!
A typical email Auntie Leila receives is something like the following:
Do you have encouragement and resources for mothers with many young children and toddlers and babies and how to manage homeschooling?
I have six children: ages 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and baby.
What does a reasonable school schedule look like while keeping the toddlers and baby alive *and* the home from exploding with laundry and dishes?
It’s definitely a zoo in our house most days. Help!
My first reaction is to launch into an outline of the priorities that will give this mom a sense of order in her busy and toddler-and-baby-inflicted life: knowing what is for dinner and other meals; getting the laundry under control; having a reasonably clean house; gaining competence in these areas while acknowledging the challenges of this phase of life; not losing hope when one has a bad day; and the importance of Sunday.
But then I remember! I have a blog!
It’s all here (just look up at the menus on the header)! And for those who are understandably either ignorant of the vast amount of posts on these subjects or frustrated by their disorganization, I have a 3-volume work! With an index! And a ribbon in each book!
Remember, telling you all this is not a career for me. If it were, my site would be super organized and laid out with flashy shiny boxes for you to click on. It would also take a while to load on your computer because there would be many ads for you to click on for ad revenue (the only time I get revenue here, a small amount, is for an Amazon link — if you use the one I provide — you don’t have to and I encourage you to buy books second-hand if you are able, not mine, but others ;))
Instead, notice — no ads!
I don’t have a career. I am a wife and mother and I have never sought to monetize my position. I worked hard to put what I’ve written here into my books (The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Prayer in the Home; God Has No Grandchildren: A Guided Reading of Pope Pius XI’s Encyclical Casti Connubii (On Chaste Marriage) – 2nd Edition; and The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life). Sometimes I give talks and speeches just because when you say enough about something, people think you might be good to have at their meeting or conference to talk some more. There is usually an honorarium for that (and it takes a lot of work to prepare).
But as you can tell from poking around here a bit, it’s no career (or I’d get fired for laziness)!
I do it because I love you.
Anyway, all that is why someone might not realize I’ve already answered this question as far as it can be answered by me, and also in its inherent intractability due to toddlers and that baby! Who are great. We love them. Bring them on!
The key is not to think of them, the Four, Two, and Baby, as interrupters of the main event. Instead, think of them as your primary occupation and the schooling as something that has to be done quickly so you can run and pull the miscreants out of whatever mischief they are getting into.
School (formal version) is the interruption, the babies are not the interruption.
One woman can only do so much. If you have taken on homeschooling, you can’t turn your home into a school. Instead, keep it as a home and remember this truth: children learn very well — they are by nature eager to learn.
Official school has expanded to fit the time and energy allowed it in a sort of twist on Parkinson’s Law, and its overwhelmingness makes us think we have a huge task before us. But once we recognize our limitations (imposed by toddlers, for the main part), a wonderful reality emerges: formal schooling can be fairly contained and informal learning happens all the time and is much more dependent on the environment we provide than on any “subject” we make them slog away at.
So if you are feeling like you’re failing, get out of “school” mode and back into “home” mode. Focus on getting your toddlers to learn independent play and give everyone plenty of outdoor running-around time. Discipline your children rather than try to control them — and remember, this takes time. Do your own work (housework and creative pursuits oriented towards your family’s well being) and prioritize opportunities (music, art, books on the shelves, conversation) over sitting down to workbooks or, heaven forfend, screens. Rest and enjoy!
Kitchen Reno Corner
I know you want updates but we’re waiting for floor and cabinets. Like I warned you, Slowest Reno Ever.
I painted the pantry this past week, which was a real task in that it not only held its normal contents but also much of the kitchen things as well. Also I’m getting older! It all felt like a losing game of Tetris. Not to mention that everything — and I mean every can, jar, box, and shelf — was and is coated with plaster dust (not only from the kitchen but from a portion of the ceiling that had to be addressed for Reasons).
So I combined a strategy of taking some things to other, already crowded-with-kitchen-debris rooms, with just shoving them around in the pantry and working around them (fortunately the biggest shelves are on wheels, though said wheels have a tendency to fall off on my wonky floors, which is surprising and not in a good way).
I used Valspar Warm Milk, which I love in my sewing room — I decided that a soft white is the way to go (thanks for your encouragement! Click here for the link to befores) and got a lot of satisfaction from covering over the pale yellow that had been in there (and was just a dirty mess, after about 20 years in this heavily used room!). I will leave the green trim on the window, at least for now. The paint I used on it back in the day is very plasticky (was gobsmacked by that and wouldn’t use whatever type it was again). It won’t be easy to paint over, and I still like the color, so it’s fine.
I have wiped down one of these big metal shelves already (it’s in the kitchen behind me here) and shortly will tackle this other one after moving the former back, transferring objects (after a thorough cleaning), and pulling the latter out where it will have its turn. My plan is to put my current fridge in here as well, when the new one comes.
Book Corner
Need a read-aloud? Two of my grandchildren come over on Wednesdays and we have a nice afternoon together before I take them to fiddle orchestra (the same one my Bridget attended, about 13 years ago!). We have been reading Freddy the Detective by Walter R. Brooks (affiliate link).
It’s delightful and funny. Freddie, with help from some of the other animals and hindrance from others, solves crimes at the farm. I love when kids are given a chance to laugh at adults’ foibles and I believe it helps them to be reconciled to what otherwise seems to be a rather relentless and demanding world.
bits & piecesI will be at the Angelus Conference in Kansas City on Friday! I hope to see you there! I will be speaking on Beauty Will Save the Neighborhood: A Guide to Liturgical Living!
Related to the question about educating children in a young and busy family (see above) is this relatively long article about John Senior and his vision for education: Let Them Be Born in Wonder. I heartily hope you are able to read it, if not today, then sometime this week. Maybe read it with your spouse and later with your friends. (It’s written by the monk, Fr. Francis Bethel, who wrote the book I have recommended in the past: John Senior and the Restoration of Realism.) He says:
When the professors had taught philosophy directly in their classes, there was little echo in their students’ souls. They soon realized that this lack of response came not simply from the fact that their students had never studied logic or some other preparatory study. The problem was not only ideology, not only bad ideas that hindered their receptivity to what the professors wanted to convey. More fundamentally, the students lacked the preparation of healthy outdoor experience, and of loving familiarity with good literature and poetry. Beauty, the professors found, opened their students’ minds and hearts, making them capable of receiving truth.
I say: Obviously true and yet so easily overlooked: The child’s early life in the home forms his imagination and his whole orientation to life and learning. We are doing our best to accomplish this task and our efforts will not be in vain. Order and Wonder! They begin in the home.
As an aside, I never wrote anything, formally, about Rod Dreher’s book, The Benedict Option, but one thing that greatly annoyed me about it is that despite his relationship with Clear Creek (where he apparently wrote most of it), the monastery that pretty much owes its existence to John Senior, Dreher never mentions him. Dreher makes a big point of lamenting the state of education and seems to think it’s his original idea to start new institutions apart from the corrosive ones in the establishment. Though he is an investigative journalist, he failed to discover or report on the very real sacrifices made by the previous generation to found such institutions, as well as to take on the education of their children themselves, along the precise and examined principles enunciated and exemplified by Senior. Dreher wrote as if he were the first to think of such things as stepping away from progressive culture and trying to live in a manner consistent with a classical understanding. In short, he seems unaware of the actual recent cultural history of a world he is trying to shape; he omits mention of the man behind a good deal of it; he didn’t even trouble to acquaint himself with the myriad small Catholic colleges, high schools, and homeschool resources, all of which owe so much to this one humble man, John Senior.
It’s commonplace to mock the English language and its supposed inconsistencies and putatively unnecessary complications — all valid no doubt but on the other hand: Jorge Luis Borges talking about some of its peculiar strengths with William F. Buckley (who was also fluent in Spanish).
Have you seen strange lines of lights in the sky? Here’s why: Starlink Satellite.
from the archivesMore real learning will happen at the dinner table than you know. As we head into holiday season, we’ll have many visuals and instructions on setting the table for festive occasions, which is nice, but how about setting it for every day? Especially with sports schedules and autumnal busyness distracting us, let’s review: How to set the family table!Getting the House Ready and Warm for Winter
liturgical living
St. Callistus, Pope and Martyr
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s
The post Toddlers are not the problem appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
October 7, 2023
Auntie Corner: Tired Husbands
{To those awaiting an answer to an email you’ve sent me, hang in there. It takes me some time! If you wrote to me months (or years) ago and I haven’t answered, I apologize — resend the question. If it’s just been weeks, be patient… I don’t like to just dash off a reply… }
Lots of emails recently, in this vein:
“My husband is tired when he gets home; he works hard and just doesn’t have the energy to help me with discipline or other issues.”
It’s always so interesting to me how in our time, we are so convinced that we can remake human nature. We have great plans about how men and women will be equal and share responsibilities equally, exhibiting maximum energy and enthusiasm for all tasks (though women are okay with having zero vibes for certain things — apparently feminism does not extend to yucky tasks like taking out the garbage, no apologies offered).
Invariably, however, in the second decade of life together and often sooner, just because couples are getting married at a more advanced age, and people in their 30s get cranky, the seams start showing, straining, ripping, when we try to live in conflict with each other and our natures.
Instead of continually trying to work against each other or simply giving up (yet being frustrated about it), I suggest a different approach.
Let the patterns of life that you establish together help you overcome the all too human tendency to tiredness, to avoidance of responsibility, to nagging and exasperation.
The sooner you institute mutually satisfying domestic habits, the better off you will be when the going gets tough; however, you can always begin again!
In this particular situation, a good talk between husband and wife about family needs might be helpful — I call this “a free and frank discussion with no judging” to try to avoid defensiveness and anger. “I would love it if… ” and say what you need to say.
Then how about this — and maybe even be open with each other about the new approach:
Make the transition from work to family, the mental turnover that has to happen, a ritual. Father can take a few minutes to re-enter: if he’s actually coming home from work, he can perhaps change his clothing and wash up. If he’s been home, he can shut the door to the work area as he exits.
Even work from home, which the Chief has done for decades, ought to have an ending time. Sure, there will be days when there are longer hours, but having the set time for ending helps to define those as longer hours and not just work expanding to fit the time allotted. (My husband found it helpful to go back to work after a break for supper and focusing on kids, however briefly, rather than work through til “whenever”; obviously circumstances are different, I get that.)
In both cases, putting away electronics, at least for a bit, is essential. I remember Alice von Hildebrand in By Love Refined (affiliate link) suggesting that he mentally or even physically place imaginary books under the bushes by the door before going in to greet his bride. How much more important to put the phone down.
The wife can facilitate this transition by preparing herself for his arrival. Give him a chance. Help the children greet him (even if he was home all day: make them look up and say, “Hi, Daddy!” and even get up and give him a hug. She should certainly kiss him upon his arrival! Yes, even when he’s just been in the basement or out in the field… )
I don’t necessarily say she should put on a swingy frock and hand him a cocktail in fantasy 50s style, though it’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard, but just as he might pretend to put his work under a bush, she could channel perky energy… a smile does not go amiss, with real interest about his day.
Family dinner, discussions, time for Dad to address kid problems or toss a ball with them, simple prayer together (the Rosary or part of it, for instance, with a lit candle), early bedtimes for littles, and most of all, the promise of real relaxation in the quieter evening — these are our daily goals, even if we don’t always hit all of them. Make these the established pattern and you will find that even tired spouses can fulfill their responsibilities, because they know what’s coming.
On the weekends, schedule in a nap for him — at least accept its inevitability. As men get older (like, mid-30s!), they find they simply can’t relax during the work week. Yes, he absolutely will tackle chores and big projects on the weekend — such is the reality of life with a busy family! But he will be tired in a way that a busy mother will not, as she has had time during the week to sit with the children for an hour to read a book and even take a nap when she needs it.
Don’t make your urgency about something override the need for a rhythm and a plan for the weekend. If something desperately needs to happen — if you are in the midst of a big home project or there’s a tournament or what have you — be sure to discuss it, schedule it in, and let Dad figure it out at his own pace.
Sundays are for a real rest after worship: maybe some games with the children and letting nature take its course in the matter of “watching a football game” (my husband’s code for zonking out on the sofa). It will be okay… everything will get done eventually!
The bitterness some women have about their husbands’ tiredness on Sundays is unfortunate. He really does shoulder a burden for the whole family’s very survival. And most husbands are keenly aware of their wives’ exhaustion, trying to pitch in with dishes, diaper changes, and general wrangling during the week after a hard day’s work.
I’m just going to say it — the thing I myself discovered after many years of being wound up about it: I think women would be happier if they took their needed rest during the week and let their husbands really enjoy their Sundays, even unto a snooze in the afternoon. Obviously, if she also has a demanding work week and the family depends on her income, a serious stress is put on the whole family; Sundays will suffer, everyone will suffer. This is why I strongly urge couples not to rely on two incomes. It’s not worth disrupting your family’s contentment over.
In any case, my point is that we need rhythms so we can live together and not live by lurching from one self-generated state to another. In the end, we can’t flourish that way. Husbands really do take overall responsibility for the welfare of the family as a whole; wives need to make it possible for them to help in the little things by stating their own needs and indicating problems to solve together in a friendly way, arranging things to make home life fall into a peaceful pattern.
Kitchen Reno Corner
The kitchen painting is done! This coming week there will be a bit of a hiatus while the floor is acclimating, in which I will pull apart the pantry (which has become a catch-all and is a wreck) and fix it up. What color should I paint it? I have seen lots of beautiful, moody pantries, but my inclination is for it to be a very light color (I think white!) due to actual food being in there and the need for it to feel clean. What do you think?
Here’s how it looked before — I did a big re-organization last year, if you want to have a look:
Knitting Corner
After a long search, I found a vintage dress form on Facebook Marketplace (those things are expensive, new and old! I got a good deal!). I inaugurated it with a fitting of my sweater, which I’ve picked up after a summer of knitting baby things:
It’s impossible for me to try things on myself to fit them (especially knitting!), so I am really excited about her — Mrs. Brooksanne!
bits & piecesHearth & Field interviewed me for the current issue — see what you think! It’s a lovely publication; I think you will enjoy receiving it.
I would really caution about anti-depressants. When even a mainstream source is concerned about the effects, it validates my perennial mistrust. I don’t even call the things they list “side-effects” — they are serious and life-long consequences — undermining the very peace and happiness sought, presumably, by taking them — that can hardly be worth the supposed benefits.
The importance of wisdom in family life: John Cuddeback on Philosopher Parents, Not Kings
Please spare 10 minutes to listen to an actual expert on industrial safety and hygiene explain the issue of masks.
Go here for my thoughts about Teilhard de Chardin, Pope Benedict, and Peter Kwasniewski’s series of articles about Teilhard. While you are there, do subscribe if you’d like to receive my posts from that blog in your email, so you don’t miss them.
from the archivesTo be happy at home
I’m not cooking right now () but here’s a family favorite: Ham and Cheese and Spinach Pie — young children devour it!
liturgical living
Our Lady of the Rosary A good day for a recitation of G. K. Chesterton’s epic Lepanto!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
The post Auntie Corner: Tired Husbands appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
September 30, 2023
The secret to making the worst chore ever a bit more manageable
Those of us who live where the seasons change have to change out our clothing. We just do.
If you live somewhere with a climate that varies only a bit or remains the same year-round, this post is not for you. You can go on outside in your flip-flops and contemplate the ways you are missing out on opportunities to build character!
You’re going to be tempted to leave a comment saying something like, “I don’t get it, just put on a sweater if you’re chilly” — and that works for where you live, but not for where we live. See this post to understand why, when the sun starts slanting low or gets high up in the sky, when daylight is just a few short hours or most of the time, you need different wardrobes. It won’t work to wear t-shirts all year round, nor is it practical to keep the heavy corduroys and flannels out in summer. For one thing, there isn’t even enough room in our closets and dressers for all the things we need in a year!
But the changeover is a monumental task, as the rest of you well know. Even for the two of us here, the Chief and I, it takes so much effort. When you have kids, it’s a nightmare! I remember! But it has to be done, especially when you have kids.
Adults might be able to reach past summer things for what they need. It’s a drain on energy, but we would do it. Kids won’t.
You don’t want to have arguments about what to wear — it’s bad enough to navigate styles and event-appropriateness without also having to handle “too-warm” or “too-cold.” (It’s Fall so I’m going to talk about getting out the warmer clothing; just work backwards in the Spring.)
Your three-year-old who is positively addicted to shorts and a t-shirt is not going to give up if they are right there in the drawer, even if they are manifestly too small, let alone not warm enough! You have to put them (the clothes, not the children) in a bin and stow them in the attic, or donate, or throw them away. They have to be gone.
I go into this issue more in the “dressing warmly” posts. But trust me, it’s better to do the work now than spend all winter arguing.
I’m going to give you the secret to making this task doable. It will still be awful.
It’s hard for me to account for every situation — some have no closets at all, some are blessed with a large room they can fit a bunch of dressers in. So take all this as organizing principles and adapt to your circumstances.
Let’s make a list of thoughts — the secret is in there, in Number 2:
1. Don’t imagine you will do the switchover all at once.
Give up on that idea. I wish someone had told me this long ago when it really mattered! It’s too much to pull everyone’s clothes out and get all the bins down and figure out where everything is going and to whom, in one blow.
Accept that it will take at least a week, probably longer, with some prep going on before (keep reading for how to make the laundry routine work for the switch) and for that time, things will be in flux.
Your priority, as you meander through my observations here, is to get the new season’s clothes in place. The pulling out of the previous season’s clothing/storing them bit is secondary. It helps to remember this. But in the meantime, there will be a bit of a bottleneck. Accept it!
2. Plan for the item that will make it all doable, and the secret I am referring to in the title of this post: the extra laundry basket.
The secret: extra basket(s)!
This may be plural, depending on your numbers. My laundry system relies on having as few baskets as possible, because laundry problems start with too many clothes, but I have come to see that a few extras help in this seasonal changing out process. You will see why as we discuss it.
Let me mention here, though, that overall, during this time of turbulent upheaval, it will help to stay on top of the regular laundry. There are so many other things going on now with new school and activities schedules, but push yourself to keep the regular (sheets, towels, normal loads) laundry going.
3. Use your laundry system to re-route the most obviously seasonally inappropriate items.
(Don’t have a laundry system? Go here for all the ways and means, and there is also a whole section in my book on this topic.)
Yes, the weather will still warm up, we may still have an Indian Summer (though we didn’t really have actual summer this year and all it does is rain, but I digress). But as you wash the shorts, sleeveless shirts, linen capris, and little swingy skirts, take them out of the process. Your people can make do with the lighter cold weather items.
Do not put a summer item back into the drawer or closet if it’s gone through the wash. I cannot emphasize this enough!
Certainly remove swimwear.*
This is where the extra basket comes in.
You see, the real pain and suffering of the seasonal switch is the perceived necessity to take all the summer things out and put all the winter things in immediately. However, if you think about it — and as it finally dawned on me — this isn’t actually possible!
You can’t simultaneously get things out of bins and into drawers and vice versa!
You need a third place.
If you don’t have extra baskets, that place will likely be… your or their bed. Which sounds all very well until those children — or you –need to be tucked in and the task isn’t over (which it will not be), and then what? The floor… piles in the hall… a laundry room blocked with mountains of clothes…
This situation comes about because these articles have to be sorted. In the case of kids, there are the sizes to deal with, and for everyone, there are questions! Too old? Too worn? Not worth saving? Worth passing on? Needing to be donated?**
No one can handle this all at once. Just begin by funneling the items currently in use but needing to be retired into a basket as they come out of the laundry. For one thing, you then know they are clean before you put or give them away.
4. As you do this slow removal, which can take two weeks, actually, though I should have told you this two weeks ago, you also pull the cold-weather things out of storage.
Eventually, as you make this method your own, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that they are clean, and they can go right into the drawers/closet. If not, they can go into your laundry system and come out in due time.***
5. As I said, getting the new season’s clothing out and in place is the priority, even as you have the extraction in mind as the new season approaches, while you do the laundry.
Laundry is happening anyway, and in the meantime, you can get those bins out of wherever you store them and begin doling out the items needed to their people. As you put the items in the drawers or hang them up, use that time as well to remove things you can see won’t be needed. If those things are not perfectly clean, throw them in the appropriate hamper. If they are clean, chuck them in that extra laundry basket.
The extra laundry basket helps you avoid overwhelm; piles of clothes on the bed, the opposite: so much overwhelm.
And the storage bins will then be empty, which they need to be for the next step: when you are ready, sort the previous season’s clothing into them.***
6. These extra laundry baskets you are using for this purpose can go behind a chair, at the foot of the bed, in the corner, or in the hallway. You can stack them.
This is the part you just have to resign yourself to unless you happen to have a vast laundry room: there will be these extra baskets out and about for a few days to a week. Keep them in your own room if you suspect a mischievous child of rummaging for his beloved, superannuated shorts. However, if things warm up, just go ahead and let the kids get ONE outfit back out. Then it gets cycled back into that laundry basket after the wash.
Even for myself, where I have a big enough bedroom to accommodate a whole extra dresser for storing our out-of-season clothes (in addition to space in one of my small closets, where I have hooks and a bin), that basket sits there for a good long time.
I think of it as the saver of my sanity, and so I give it some grace.
7. Since it won’t get totally cold all at once, this process does take some time, and you will likely go through it a couple of (hopefully dwindling) rounds before you are done. Vice-versa in the Spring as it warms up, but not completely.
I regard this overlapping period, necessarily involving clothes not quite put away, as preferable to pulling everything out, putting everything away, making a giant committed overall switch — as then those supposedly done-and-done bins have to be pulled out of the far reaches of their storage yet again because it really did turn out to be an unseasonably warm weekend requiring t-shirts or what have you. Letting this happen wreaks havoc on your organizational system for sizes for future handing-down.
It will be an in-between time for a while, so just let it — with the idea that the little urchins can make-do without the extreme versions. Your daughter actually won’t need sundresses in October.
8. When you have the new season’s clothes in place and the past season has definitely turned, dedicate a day to going through the contents of the extra baskets — last season’s items.
Sort sizes into their respective bins, after triage involving donation bags and discard piles.
Recognizing the monumentalness of all this is the way to keep from feeling that it’s all too much. It just does take a lot of time!
Not to mention that now you have a shopping list of needed items…
I find that the biggest obstacle to housekeeping is the attitude of thinking these things should not take time, and resenting the time they take! Change that attitude and you will find it’s not so bad at all. I mean, it’s terrible, but it’s all in the name of clothing the needy!
Now you are ready to put those bins away, to retire your extra basket(s), and to pat yourself on the back for another dreaded Switcheroo entered into the books!
*If your kids still have sports that require swimwear and lighter clothing like t-shirts and shorts, put those in a separate drawer or in a crate next to their dresser. If you have lots of uniform-requiring activities, consider a dedicated dresser, maybe out in the hall or in the laundry room, with a drawer for each child’s needed items.
**This need to inspect/make decisions is why I am Team Folding Laundry. I know that all the advice out there is to skip folding. I don’t know… As you fold, you notice stains, holes, too-smallness, etc. It’s quality control. Think of folding as a time to rest, to catch up on your favorite show, to talk to your offspring or a friend on the phone… and think of how throwing some things away lightens your literal load! You will avoid the dreaded “I have no underwear that fits!” announcement; you will be prepared.
***The storage bins need to be labeled. Cross out whatever label was on there if it’s no longer current. Label things by sex and size and season. Try to put jeans in one bin, tops in another, dresses in another, and so on. If you have the capacity, a rod to hold boys’ blue blazers, arranged by size, will be super helpful. (This implies the key to keeping your boys looking smart: khaki pants, white dress shirts, blue blazers.)
NB: When it comes to putting way Winter clothes, next Spring, use this slower way I’m describing to examine your woolens, wash them (only dry clean if absolutely necessary, as in suits — almost all sweaters can be hand washed or put on the delicate cycle and carefully laid out to air dry), and put them away when they are perfectly dry in a chest or bin with mothballs.
I have a highlight on my Instagram page about all this!
bits & piecesI’ve mentioned Slightly Foxed here before. Their newsletter informs me of an upcoming radio broadcast of one of my very favorite books, Lark Rise to Candleford (which they offer for sale in their pleasing volumes). I did watch the BBC miniseries, and enjoyed it to a great extent, though later episodes seemed to go off the rails a bit. I have no idea how the radio show will be, but maybe we can listen together! By the way, I see this information on the newsletter, regarding their quarterly literary magazine: “We’re delighted to offer a 10% discount on all subscriptions to givers and recipients aged 30 and under.”
Cluny Media Is Rescuing Lost and Neglected Catholic Books of the Not-So-Distant Past
I like games that can be played with simple objects, like graph paper, colored pencils, and dice. Are your students learning multiplication and calculating area (the two go hand-in-hand; sometimes we forget that when we are teaching multiplication)? Try this game. Graph paper is stimulating — I have always bought pads of it when I’m getting paper supplies. Let your kids play around with it! Here are some ideas to use with a Hundreds Chart, but start by having them make their Hundreds Chart! (You can skip the math workbook pages on the days they get interested in these things!)
from the archives
{getting frustrated with my old blog and its capricious “organization”? Buy the book! In paperback too! Comes with an index in every one of the three volumes, and a ribbon for keeping your place!}
Kids can definitely help with the laundry, at a very young age.
Competence is better than perfectionism.
Five-year-old boys are hard.
liturgical living
St. Jerome — He’s a real favorite of mine! Irascible and holy! “The Scriptures are shallow enough for a babe to come and drink without fear of drowning and deep enough for theologians to swim in without ever reaching the bottom.”
“The Thunderer”
God’s angry man,
His crotchety scholar
Was Saint Jerome,
The great name-caller
Who cared not a dime
For the laws of Libel
And in his spare time
Translated the Bible.
Quick to disparage
All joys but learning
Jerome thought marriage
Better than burning;
But didn’t like woman’s
Painted cheeks;
Didn’t like Romans,
Didn’t like Greeks,
Hated Pagans
For their Pagan ways,
Yet doted on Cicero all of his days.
A born reformer,
cross and gifted,
He scolded mankind
Sterner than Swift did;
Worked to save
The world from the heathen;
Fled to a cave
For peace to breathe in,
Promptly wherewith
For miles around
He filled the air with
Fury and sound.
In a mighty prose
For Almighty ends,
He thrust at his foes,
Quarreled with his friends,
And served his Master,
Though with complaint.
He wasn’t a plaster sort of a saint.
But he swelled men’s minds
With a Christian leaven.
It takes all kinds
To make a heaven.
From “Times Three” by Phyllis McGinley
(I found this poem on Scott Hahn’s Facebook page.)
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest (you can still get a lot of inspiration here! and say a prayer for her!). Bridget’s Pinterest.
The post The secret to making the worst chore ever a bit more manageable appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
