Leila Marie Lawler's Blog, page 8
March 16, 2024
Wood stove glow-up
Back in January when we were finally putting the kitchen together, I was deep in work-avoidance re: the wood stove.
The darn thing had taken such a beating.
Mainly from various rounds of dust from the demo and plastering, even though it had been taped off…
It was rusted in places — we had such a wet summer, oy — and looked sad, sad, sad.
I had so many things to organize, just putting the kitchen back together again, but I also wanted to start a fire and stay warm! But I wasn't enthusiastic about this hunk of ugliness in my beautiful new kitchen.
Well, this is your reminder to take a good look at the shabby, annoyingly dismal things in your life and go on YouTube to see what others have done. Iron in particular, be it a pan, a decoration, or a stove, is readily spruced up! There were a lot of thoughts about it, and in the end I got the idea it's not that complicated.
I vacuumed everything (including the bricks). I used sandpaper and steel wool to rub off the rust. I then wiped everything down with wet paper towels and then dry ones. This is the BEFORE:
Then I used stove blacking all over. It's really not hard! I went to the hardware store and got a tube. I did my best to get the whole stove, then rubbed it down again.
The whole process took maybe an hour. I really was not looking forward to it. These days (particularly in winter), I have so little motivation for such things!
But now it's done! (I cleaned up the little random cast iron things around the stove as well; trivets, that old iron whatever that thing is called that has some function I'm ignorant of, the poker and other tools. It didn't even stink things up. It was all very satisfying!
bits & pieces
Last weekend we were in St. Louis, giving talks at St. Francis de Sales Parish. (Above is a random door, somewhat hidden in the back, leading to the basement hall. Can you imagine the casual beauty?) I hope to post the talks soon. Phil's was insightful, and we managed to dovetail our subjects pretty well. Here is an essay about the parish and its beauty, by Denise Trull, who worships there: An Exquiste Charity. And I had the pleasure of meeting her! Our hosts were wonderful and the turnout was fantastic! Thanks so much to Patricia Calhoun and Canon Benjamin Coggeshall for inviting us!
An important short essay about men needing to fight evil: Beowulf and the thumos of Catholic manhood. I don't know about the translation of Beowulf, but I am quite certain the author is correct about why so many attempts to address manhood today fall short.
This recently uncovered 200-year-old jumper (sweater) does not look old.
I think the horse is already out of the barn; the natural family was abolished, as a matter of law, when so-called same-sex marriage was inflicted on us, but it takes a while for such a fundamental change to take hold. Michael Brendan Dougherty: In defense of the natural family: If we're not careful, the state could make itself the ultimate arbiter of what constitutes a family
Ireland's vote on their constitution delivered an unexpected win for family.
This post, written before the vote, offers a good overview of the principles behind the contested clauses of the Irish constitution. I would not call them any kind of progressive!
The Chief and I were married in the Princeton University Chapel (long story). It's huge — all our guests fit into the choir stalls! The nave was quite empty. David Clayton writes about a Sarum Use Vespers service held there recently. “I have never seen a more complete harmony of words, music, art and architecture in my life. The music by 16th-century English composers Thomas Tallis and Robert White was sung magnificently by Gabriel Crouch and Gallicantus, an early music group. The Magnificat, by White, can be heard at the 39-minute mark.” I remember the peace I experienced when I went to Evensong (very simply prayed, but with Anglican chant) there as a teenager, before I was a Christian.
Submit your image of the Sacred Heart to the Dappled Things contest! The prizes are enticing. The deadline is March 31.
Need some inspiration? Here is a good essay on the subject by Roseanne T. Sullivan: Portraying Infinite Love in 2 Dimensions: How can artists best show God's love in images of Christ's Sacred Heart?
from the archivesI'm really sad to think families don't sit down to dinner together. You have to bond over all those years, even if it seems futile, or when you want to be friends, you'll find you don't have the knack of it. Here are Seven Strategies for Dinner with the Barbarians
Some of my decorating principles
liturgical living
In my planner, I have written down from last year that this coming week I should make some Easter treats and put them in the freezer: Babka, cinnamon rolls, whatever I think we will want but not have time for, what with choir schedules and making beds for guests and so on. It's not too soon to start Easter egg decoration if you do Pysanki, or make a bright garland, or, well, basically, look ahead! It's not long now…
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. It will take me a while to get things organized, but you'll be patient, I know!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Wood stove glow-up appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
March 2, 2024
Ten ways to avoid raising a narcissist…
… or an otherwise mentally ill person subject to mood disorders and not able to form healthy relationships or deal with anything at all.
Basically, I see the most fundamental principles of healthy child development violated in action and in advice.
So on the idea that I alone am left to offer this part of the collective memory, here you go:
1. I start with a paradox.
Understand this: From the moment the child is born, he's separating from you and it's not a one-time deal — it goes on and on, forever! It's built into human nature for him (and truth be told, parents) to resist this separation, though there are a few who seem to be rushing off right from the start, I have to admit.
Thus, the way to smooth the path to the challenges ahead, which I will outline below, is to cooperate with the other built-in aspects of our nature to form good healthy emotional bonds, bonds of affection and love. These bonds will see us through. They don't have to be perfect, nor can they be, but it's our duty to try.
Even before birth, from the moment of conception, this child is his own person.
Keep him close while you can: nurture him and do your best to breastfeed him by holding him and feeding him from your breast (I feel I have to specify this these days, forgive me); if you must bottle-feed, insist on holding him in the nursing position and taking your time. Yes, this is literally his love language. Why would we dismiss it as unimportant?
Know that even in the earliest days he is experiencing transitions away from you. Your job is to remain unperturbed by the inevitable upheaval of those transitions (teething, crawling, experiencing the pain of unintended cold, wetness, pinches, learning to walk and talk, and so on, all of which are accompanied by wails, tears, and even howls of frustration). But at the same time, gradually open your arms and let them come. The bonds you are forming help you do this. It has to happen — the only question is whether it will happen in the context of affection or not.
The process of separation is a turning towards the world, starting with others in the family like Daddy with his deep voice and scratchy beard, siblings who can be less than gentle, strangers suddenly appearing in their face with outrageous comments about their chubbiness.
Help your child to not be afraid by not being afraid on his behalf.
This help comes in the form of telling and showing him how to act. Even if at first he can't comply, don't give up, but gently, over time, insist on working towards meeting the outside world, appropriate to his age.
Hold a baby's hands when he starts to smack. He doesn't know any better, but he also can feel restraint. He's smarter than you think.
Show a two-yaer-old how to shake hands. Say, “When a grownup says hello, say, ‘Hello Mrs. Smith.'” “Look at people's eyes when you are talking to them.” A two-year-old will hardly respond. By the time the child is four he needs to have figured it out. A very shy child can receive a bit more sheltering, but it must be explained to him, “I won't make you talk but you need to be thinking about when you can greet someone politely, because when you do, you will feel less shy.” By the age of reason, he simply must do it.
3. He must learn to do things for himself. At first he won't be able to put on his own shoes, but let him sit with them and try — don't interrupt that funny play (which is really work) of a nine-month-old deep in concentration with a pair of socks or shoes, trying to figure out how to connect them with his feet!
Help a two-year-old with his jacket, but only after giving him a minute with it himself. This takes a lot of patience, so of course we're learning self control too…
Don't default to putting a baby in the car seat (outside of the car). Babies need to strain and roll around and struggle to turn over. This is not only physical development, it's development in mental health. A baby is learning about the outside world and how it relates to his body and mind in the only way he can at this point. Don't interfere with that, even if there are a few tears.
Better an older baby fall down while he's at the age of bounceability and learn thereby to control his motions than fall when he's older, and really hurt himself.
A four-year-old must be expected to walk properly through a door and not bowl people over. He shouldn't kick someone sitting next to him. Your reaction to him doing so should not be motivated by embarrassment alone, but by concern for your failure to teach him.
He can walk responsibly, surely, at that point. Specifically, resolve not to sort of chase him around, protecting the world from him! Instead, treat him as an acting person (however undeveloped) and show him beforehand how to do it. Smile at his efforts. Don't always correct him at the time. It can be more effective to correct him afterwards. If someone else corrects him, let it be.
“We are going to walk into the library. I expect you to walk behind me with self control. If you don't, we'll go home.”
At other times, your child may cause a disruption, but you ought to remain unembarrassed if you can see that it's because he's trying to do something appropriately in his control (and just failing).
If he is trying to give his sibling a needed book during Church and causes a loud bang when said sibling falls off the pew, don't let your human respect (worry about what others will think) cause you to reprimand him. On the other hand, if he's defiantly ignoring you when you ask him to pass the book, he needs to be reprimanded.
4. Experiencing reasonable expectations develops his mental health. Don't be put off by “attitude” or you will never get anywhere, because children are nothing if not aware of how their “attitude” (naughtiness, sauciness, whining, etc.) gets results from weak, unconvinced parents.
Think about what you are asking. Is it reasonable? Then go for it. Is it unreasonable? Don't say it. Don't know? Read up on child development, observe competent children, and figure it out.
5 . A child needs very early on to understand hierarchy and his place in it. Stop thinking about equality, a very unhelpful concept.
Even an older baby notices you jumping up for his needs but not so much for the needs of, say, your husband. Don't think so? Well, why does a 9-month-old continually toss his cup off the high chair tray? If not to see you jump? We can enjoy his new discovery without making it an embedded pattern in our relationships!
Be convinced that you make him happy with that deep, abiding happiness when he knows who is in charge. The “behaviors,” including so-called “neuro-divergent” ones, we observe, stem from anxiety of not knowing who's in charge and suspecting it might be… himself. Yikes. Even he knows that's not a good idea, but fallen human nature being what it is, he can't resist.
Every “pack” (and the family is a sort of pack) needs its “alpha pair,” male and female, and within that alpha pair, the male must be the alpha-ist of all. In the human pack, authority is shown by leading and also by service. It isn't about power and the child will become disturbed if power is the prevalent mode in the home.
But authority there must be. Good parents keep an open discussion between themselves about how to rear their children — after all, both are learning. The wise mother allows her husband to deal directly with the children without interfering in a way that undermines his authority, which believe me, will be needed later on. If she insists on intervening when the child is three, she will come to regret his ensuing emasculation when that same child is sixteen.
If he doesn't have necessary information, she can say something like, “Dad, did you know we already took care of that?” But overall, she should let him deal. The child picks up on nervousness and anxiety and will leverage those things against his own best interests, such is the muddledness of our condition.
6. The child must learn that “losing” isn't the end of the world and in fact is very freeing. Fathers are good at accepting this, speaking of the hierarchy.
Let your child fail. Don't cushion him against difficulties a child his age can reasonably expected to face. In other words, certainly protect your child from other adults' predations and attacks on his innocence, of course protect him from dangers he doesn't have the experience to foresee, but don't protect him from the normal issues of childhood.
If he loses something, think before you rush to replace it. If he falls and hurts himself, offer sympathy and a bandaid, but don't over-react; sometimes waiting a minute in the case of a toddler reveals to all, including himself, that it wasn't really anything to notice.
Don't give him things to eat right before supper. Plan snacks mid-afternoon, and then that's that. He won't expire if he has to wait half an hour. (Of course, you can ask yourself to get dinner on the table before everyone melts down.)
Don't be afraid to nix a certain movie or other entertainment. If you find yourselves watchings something inappropriate, turn it off.
He doesn't need everything he sees; he doesn't need to do everything that occurs to him. Tell your very young children as you walk into the store that you will not be buying any treats so they should not ask for them. Asking will result in punishment, because this is sheer habit! They can amuse themselves in other ways! Treats are your prerogative; you are the arbiter of treats.
Losing in this sense can be so freeing. What he learns is that he will be happier in the security of knowing that his will is not the be-all and end-all; that he can rely on his parents to endure his wails for his own good.
7. Let him be in nature. Children need experiences of the natural world; it's God's feedback mechanism. It exists apart from them. The strenuous activity of long walks, swimming in the ocean or lake, going uphill; the reality of rocks and trees and water; the pleasure of observation and finding one's way – these are important aspects of mental health. They help the person reconcile himself to the outside world.
Fresh air and sunshine are wonderful. Rain and snow are wonderful too!
8. Teach him to care about people's well being. Teach even the youngest child to pass food at the table, to notice others' needs — especially the needs of their siblings, who should not be exclusively regarded as competition! Offering to get something for a sibling goes a long way to forming good relations between them. Service heals. Show the child how to comfort the hurts of others and to help them (including animals, e.g. getting them their water and so on).
9. Read stories that reinforce these principles. Fairy tales and good, old-fashioned children's literature will stand you in good stead — and very few of the new; stay away from stories/books/movies that center on how the person needs to be affirmed in his victimhood. My LMLD Library Posts are all oriented towards literature that helps us come to terms with life apart from mother's arms.
Read your young child Bible stories. Read your older child the Bible.
Finally —
10. Don't do bail. Tell your child as he approaches adolescence with its hard lessons of separation from the comfort of home, and I'm mainly speaking to the father here, “Remember, we don't do bail.” Many a dangerous teenage scheme is avoided because in the back of that boy's mind are the words, “Remember, we don't do bail.” Many a wrong choice that lands the kid in jail (and yes, it could happen to your family) will not be fatal if, in answer to the dreaded call, you simply reply, “Sorry, we don't do bail.” A night in jail is better than a life of destructive entitlement.
The child needs the establishment of what could be called a reward circuit, but not by the shallow, destructive means of offering affection or withholding it. Go deeper, don't be manipulative. The narcissist is above all manipulative and maybe it's all he knew. Free him for cooperating with life's challenges by giving him the experience of the satisfaction and happiness of learning self control.
It's the joy of being someone who can do good things, not thrown by circumstances, nor being the victim of his weaknesses (such as addiction and bad habits). The child needs tools to become all this, and the family is uniquely able to give him these tools, forged in affection and the firm conviction of its role.
NB: Before you comment about all the reasons your child is different and actually neuro-divergent, please just… don't. The things I'm saying here are not new and they are not cooked up by me. They are part of the collective memory and people need to hear them. If they don't help you, that's fine, but it's not helpful to others to make me qualify everything.
I obviously can't, in a blog post, thoroughly specify ages and so on for what's appropriate. You'll have to use your common sense. I am happy to discuss all that in the comments!
bits & piecesI was on Relevant Radio with Brooke Taylor, talking about The Summa Domestica; we had a great conversation. I'm sorry about the sound quality, as well as the sound quality on my own latest podcast, “Should I give my son a phone” — Spoiler: Auntie Leila says no. But I also talk about the flip side: how we need to build a culture where we connect children to each other in real life. (I promise to use my new microphone from now on.)
Denise Trull on The Divine Office
Kennedy Hall with a sweet, funny, and sad article: Contraception and Regret at Red Lobster
Fr. John Naugle on principles of public policy when facing a crisis, oh, for instance, a perceived pandemic
A notoriously difficult subject (in my opinion) for the sacred artist: the Sacred Heart. Would you like to try your hand, or do you know someone who would? Cash prizes at Dappled Things (but there's only a month!): The Sacred Heart Art Competition
My new Substack: Three overlooked points on Catholic Social Teaching
from the archivesHope for when you regret the past
Should my kids play sports?
liturgical livingfollow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. It will take me a while to get things organized, but you'll be patient, I know!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Ten ways to avoid raising a narcissist… appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
February 24, 2024
How I chose my range and oven, Ask Auntie, and links!
The last two weeks have been fraught with computer woes combined with blog tech woes, neither of which I'm good at resolving. I now have a new (to me) computer (thanks, Chief!) and blog tech help (thanks, Andy Malone!).
So here we go!
Hi Aunt Leila,
Do you have advice for getting a toddler to stop thumb sucking? My almost 3 year old sucks her thumb at night and when she's tired during the day. I've told her she needs to keep her hands pretty like a princess and not suck her thumb or bite her nails. If I catch her, I remind her but she'll mindlessly resume seconds later. The dentist said she needs to stop by 3 to avoid dental/orthodontics problems. Any advice?
Love,
Erin
I never had a thumb-sucker (just one for a little bit, but it didn't take). So when Erin wrote, I wasn't sure exactly what to say. Then, providentially, I was with Deirdre and she showed me the devices she is using with her inveterate thumb-sucker!
Those with this issue know that children will overcome the nasty-tasting paint, nagging, and whatever, to get to their thumb. And even if you can prevent it during the day, the issue is that at night they are unconsciously reaching for it and you aren't there to stop them.
But Deirdre reports that she's had great success with Nipit — they are braces that go on the elbows and the child simply can't get that thumb up into his mouth.
(I only receive a return on the affiliate link — a little cash when you buy using the link — and am not promoting this otherwise; this is Deirdre's actual unsponsored review.)
They come with a chart which her daughter loves putting the stars on. It really does motivate her and she's doing super well with it. She doesn't mind it at all. I think she's proud to be breaking this habit.
I would definitely remove the braces when the child is actively playing, as the product advises.
My preventive advice is to nurse the baby when you see him going for the thumb. Babies do have different ways of soothing themselves, but this particular way is so detrimental to their long-term well being, affecting their bite and speech.
Try nursing more frequently; hold a nicely textured cotton or wool blanket near his nose. Aim to transition him to soothing with the blanket by putting it near his face when you put him down to sleep. It's the combination of sucking and smelling something familiar, preferably your own scent that they find comforting. A nice stuffed animal works too, though a blanket has the advantage of being able to be cut into four or more pieces down the road (so you can have extras in case of loss or needing to be washed!).
It's much easier gradually to detach them from a blanket than from their thumb!
Kitchen Corner
Today we're going to talk about the range.
If you are new here, I aim to put all the things in the context of homemaking as a vocation. The stove is central to what homemakers do! It needs to work and not break down every few years!
Bonus points for prettiness…
This is why I am going into details about the kitchen. I'm hoping my experience helps you work with what you have and do a good job choosing something new if you need to.
Appliances today are mostly made to break down — grievous but true fact! You could spend a fortune on any of it and in two years be so frustrated and vexed.
Okay, with that in mind, let's go through my entire thought process.
I moved the stove to where the fridge had been. There is room for a 36″ range. Really, not quite enough room! But I was willing to squeeze it in there to have the stovetop with its six burners — the 30″ is workable for a large family, but honestly, I was hampered by not being able to put two large pots one behind the other or for that matter, to use big pots together at all.
I wanted to be able to use a griddle. One of my previous stoves, an electric range with a glass cooktop, had a nice feature where there was a bridge between the two left burners that heated up and I could put my cast iron griddle there and make a good number of pancakes.
I actually liked that range a lot.
And then one day it turned itself on and wouldn't turn off, getting hotter and hotter… the only way to stop it was to flip the circuit breaker!
No help from the company (Frigidaire — it was a Profile) or Consumer Safety. It happened twice and so, not wanting my house to burn down, I got rid of it.
Anyway, yes, with the numbers we sometimes have here, canning, and even normal cooking, I did want the 36″. Of course I thought of an AGA or some other vast number, but the truth is, 36″ is the widest that would fit here and still give me a spot on the left to put things down on the left and right (absolutely non-negotiable, I cannot fathom not having a place to put something down there) as well as not paralyzing that corner.
Even a 40″ range would not have left enough room on the left and would have made the corner inaccessible (it's tight as it is!).
No, I wasn't moving the doorway, as I love the sightline through the dining room and into the living room.
Originally I was absolutely committed to the idea of getting a vintage stove. If there had been one near me that fit my space, I would totally have gone for it! What's not to love? Proven longevity, simple operation, built for the ages — if you have one, if your neighbor is (inadvisedly) getting rid of his, if you find one at the thrift, this is the way to go!
So many wonderful, thought-out features, like that enamel top that folds up to be a backsplash and shelf, or folds down to cover the burners… built-in griddle, storage, crumb trays that pull out for easy cleaning… just love it all!
However, after looking for a long time, I realized they are just not that common here in New England. The ones for sale were pricey yet unproven. I would have gone for cheap and doubtful or pricey and refurbished, but the ones I saw were just expensive without any sort of guarantee.
I was so close to shipping one from New York; I was even closer to shipping one from California that was completely renovated.
But it turns out that Massachusetts is the one, unique state with a code that specifies which appliances you can install, and our gas hookup is new, so there would be a lot of scrutiny. I just wasn't willing to commit to spending that much and then finding out it wouldn't be covered by insurance.
I had long before ruled out all stoves with any digital anything. There is one beautiful range going around on Instagram that is just so appealing, but the few reviews there are mention such deal breakers as the connectivity with one's phone going awry to the point of one being locked out of one's oven!! ABSOLUTELY NOT.
It has the further deal breaker of venting to the front; yes, venting into your body as you stand there stirring your sauce on the stovetop. No thanks — it's undeniably just gorgeous, but I just can't with that sort of thing; I'm standing there a lot!
Then my friend Shyla told me about the Kucht. (This is not an ad — both she and I have paid for ours in full and get nothing for telling you about it.)
Here are the factors that sold me on this gas range:
It's very reasonably priced; compared to a GE Café or Kitchenaid that will break after a few years, I'm satisfied with what I paid as being competitive and I know it will last longer than those, because —
It has zero digital anything — no computers, no motherboard. Can we rant a bit about how ovens are made to vent directly into their motherboards? My engineer father is spinning in his grave!
It has three lights: one for the convection fan, one for the oven light, and one that goes off when the oven reaches temperature. And that is all, besides the electronic ignition standard for safety reasons, as far as anything electrical on it.
It has a four-year warranty. This is telling. Every other range out there is warranted for one year only. The Kucht has gas innards and that is all that can really go wrong, and if it does, we'll know in the first four years or it will be easy to fix thereafter; my plumber agreed that he could do any repair, easily. In that it resembles the vintage stoves. Try getting a repairman for some of the fancy brands out there — from what I can see, it's nigh impossible.
It's pretty! The 36″ comes in this style; the 30″ comes in different colors. I probably would not have gone for the gold knobs etc.
But I love the dark stainless so much. I really didn't want a lot of bright stainless going on in my kitchen, since I was going for the more old-fashioned look.
The pros:
It works great. It came with the griddle (well, it actually didn't come but they sent it immediately when I called them to let them know it was missing; their customer service is direct and prompt; while I was still shopping I spoke to a tech guy directly and immediately). I have another griddle as well, so I could make a slew of pancakes and a pan of sausages, and a pan of eggs, all at once!
The oven is exactly calibrated (there is no readout of temperature; the dial has temp markings and they are correct, by my oven thermometer). It works beautifully.
It has all the “professional” features that make it heavy-duty, e.g. the racks slide easily and are very sturdy, the burner grates are excellently designed and will hold the smallest diameter pot as well as the largest; the enameled surface is easy to clean.
The cons:
I don't know how good the broiler is; so far not that great but maybe I don't get it.
The racks aren't easy to move (due to the easiness of them sliding out — it's a mechanism that works great until you want to move the whole shebang to another level).
I had to buy a simmer plate; even the lowest simmer burner is too high, but this seems to be a universal complaint about gas stoves.
It takes a while to preheat — ditto for this sort of range; they all seem to be this way. It's been so long (24+ years!) since I had a gas oven! And I'm getting used to these things all over again.
Truly, I love it. It's great! I'm so grateful to have a sturdy, practical, pretty range that didn't break the bank! And there's no doubt that when you see it as you walk in, it makes a statement!
I have a second oven built in on the other side of the kitchen, and it's electric. I can broil just fine in that one and it's handy to have an extra oven for when you have things that need vastly different temperatures and/or lots of things to bake, like on Thanksgiving.
That oven is a Kitchenaid. Built-in ovens are super pricey, as I found out to my chagrin, after I made the plan to have one. If I could have fit a 40″ range in the main work area, there would have been two ovens right there in it, but as I say, there simply is not room.
I really find I need two ovens on a regular basis — as you will too if you have a big family!
But I found this one on Facebook Marketplace for $150 (vs. $2-2.5K new). It broils very well and is otherwise great.
So that's the oven saga! Happy to answer any questions about the whole issue!
bits & piecesPhil and I will be in St. Louis March 9th! We hope we can see you! The event is a talk from each of us, followed by a luncheon (and that is what the charge is for!). There will be the opportunity to ask questions, visit with us, and purchase signed books! Do sign up!
I have posted about the Riverside Club for Boys years ago when it was starting. I encourage you to read this article: Adventure, Imagination and Education Are Thriving at the Riverside Club for Boys. Many good thoughts about what boys need to thrive!
If you happen to need ecclesiastical sculpture, well, here you go. Beautiful work by a living artist! That's what we like to see!
I highly encourage you to listen to this lecture by Peter Kwasniewski on why it's better not to demand to understand everything immediately — or that others understand immediately. He's talking mainly about liturgy, but has important insights in other areas as well. When we think about educating our children, we simply must grasp this fact about human nature: we will not learn everything at once, and most things require a lot of pondering before they are assimilated.
Good thoughts, deep ones, about The Lord of Substance, by Michael Pakaluk
Beowulf and the thumos of Catholic manhood. This is a subject dear to my heart. Men need to recover their manliness, and it's not about wearing tweed jackets or bossing their wives around. What does it mean to be a man?
from the archivesMy thoughts on C. S. Lewis' Men without Chests. Important when we are considering what our children need in the way of moral education.
Don't think so much about entertaining your children as about helping them see that the household is a project for everyone: What can children do?
Nursing the baby is so important… I will tell you all I know!
liturgical living
It is Ember Saturday of Lent or Spring Embertide
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. It will take me a while to get things organized, but you'll be patient, I know!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post How I chose my range and oven, Ask Auntie, and links! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
February 10, 2024
The easiest and best way to make sweet potatoes, chit-chat, links!
When I was a child, I never ate a vegetable other than sweet potatoes. I was super picky (it was, I think, my way of controlling the chaos in my life). I thought eating a vegetable would probably kill me.
But I loved sweet potatoes, which is good because they are very nutritious and probably saved me from whatever you get when you only eat chicken.
Anyway, I’ve seen so many recipes and even methods for cooking and, specifically, roasting them, but none is as straightforward as the way I do it.
I mean, it’s so simple, I’m almost embarrassed…
Well, here it is:
Choose sweet potatoes that are not huge, just medium. They have to have been cured properly. If after you follow this method yours are bland and just meh, know it’s the fault of the ones you were offered, and hold out for a different crop and try again.
I promise you, done the way I say, a properly cured sweet potato will be very sweet, not starchy, and utterly delectable.
Plan on one per person, but make at least double, because after they cool, you can remove them from their skins and serve them mashed in a bowl another night. They also freeze well.
Line your baking pan (lasagna pan or baking tray) with foil. Properly cooked, the sweet potatoes exude sugary liquid which then chars and burns, and is very difficult to clean off your pan!
So line your pan with foil. (Not parchment — that’s expensive.)
Bake at 425°F for about an hour. You can do this early on if you think you’ll need your oven later at a medium heat (like if you were making a pork roast, with which these go perfectly).
Medium heat is not going to get you to sweet potato perfection. Your oven must be piping, blazing hot. (If you have to take them out for your roast, pop them back in while it cools — they have to be served hot!) (A crock pot won’t do it. Neither will an Instant Pot — I tried, and the first thing I did when my oven was finally hooked up was roast some sweet potatoes!)
When you see the juices burn — yes, burn! that’s the black you see there in the pan — and the skins are shattery, they are done.
Take them out and let them cool just a smidge (not too much, because, again, they should be served hot). Cut them open and put a pat of butter and a dash of salt on each one. You can do that on the plate too, individually, and then they will stay hot, but for a crowd it’s easier if you do it beforehand, while they are still in the pan.
Butter and salt. That’s all you need. Don’t add sugar because they don’t need it! They will be so very good.
Let the diner fork the innards out without scooping them out of the skin entirely, because the plate will be messy and burned underneath it, and you don’t want that bitterness mixing into your tasty bites. This is best eaten like a baked potato, right out of the skin, hot, buttery, and salty/sweet.
As I say, you can remove the flesh later, after they are cooled, for a less messy side dish, and that will be very good, but there’s nothing like a yam (as we used to call them) in its jacket for maximum effect.
To clean up, just roll the foil on itself and throw it away.
Try it! So easy, so good!
Kitchen Corner
If I can get the inside of this cupboard painted, I can move a bunch of things into it and out of the pantry, which will enable me to organize those pantry shelves, which will enable me to get some things off the kitchen counter that’s by the pantry.
Deirdre thought I should choose a fun and unusual color. I was thinking … white… so I could see what’s inside, but maybe I could do something light but different?
It was found when all the walls were pulled down. It had been covered up behind drywall.
Dining Room Corner
In other decorating news, I don’t think I told you that when the men had demo’d the kitchen, they had to move the sideboard and shelf in the dining room.
Here’s how it looked before the work started.
I don’t know why I never thought, “You know what could go here? A hutch, that’s what.”
Just never occurred to me. I liked the idea of a shelf above the (free to me) sideboard, and I actually had another, smaller hutch on the other side of the door (but not actually against the wall, because the one I got, also free to me, is too wide for the door to shut if it’s pushed back, so it was sort of kitty-corner).
When I went to put things back after we cleaned up the kitchen, I realized the truth! I needed a hutch.
After weeks and weeks of looking on Facebook Marketplace for one that a) fits the space and b) is dark wood because of my table, chairs, and floor and c) didn’t cost a fortune to buy and ship, I finally found one, quite locally! I just love it. Pictures can’t really do it justice (at least not my old iphone pictures!):
It does fit in that space — it’s just hard to get the right angle. It’s just slightly wider than the sideboard.
It’s got enough storage for me, but also display… it has a serving area, which is key (and why I liked the sideboard), since once we are all in there, there’s not room on the table for holiday food.
And it looks old, with lovely wood and dovetailed drawers, but is fairly new.
So once I get an outlet in there (old house problems!), I can plug it in and there are lights inside on top and a hidden outlet in the corner of the serving area for plugging in a warming tray or crock pot!
Have you ever heard of such a thing, haha!! I am wicked excited about this.
It was $350 and in perfect condition. I am over the moon!
You can see the other hutch there on the right. I have to figure out how to find it a new home.
Okay, on to our links!
bits & pieces
Stemming the tide of divorce
A good pep talk for mothers swimming against the tide of worldly care: Moms are like elite athletes. Here’s how I train. I enjoyed this spirited way of expressing the challenge, and not just because the author, Helen Roy, references my Summa Domestica!
I cleverly bought extra cranberries and put them in the freezer last Thanksgiving. This week I made this cranberry pumpkin bread (with home-grown pumpkin!) and it was excellent.
This was cute and I totally agree: 8 Reasons Starting Your Own Seedlings is a Complete Waste of Time & Money
Unbelievable trickle of truth, from the New York Times (seems to be an unlocked article): As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do. Like I’ve been telling you, transgender is an ideology, and a death-dealing one. The overwhelming evidence is even creeping into the legacy media!
from the archivesMaybe last week’s technical difficulties made it so you missed these posts: Countertop Materials and Poetry Day Thoughts. The latter post finishes up with our recommendations for poetry anthologies children will love. It’s available in PDF form as well, for printing out and sharing with your homeschool group.
At the 2023 Catholic Family Conference in Kansas, I spoke about how Beauty Will Save the Neighborhood. You can listen here. Unfortunately, you won’t see the images I used because it’s not video, but you can view this album and use your imagination to fill in the blanks!
How to store seeds? Ditch the plastic — here’s how I do it and why.
What children can do — a guide. They can actually do way more to contribute to family life than I say here, but it’s a start if you’re timid or uncertain!
liturgical living
St. Scholastica (and our Bridget’s birthday!)
Mea Culpa — even though a kind reader reminded me, I still forgot to post last week about the Seven Sundays of St. Joseph. Well, you can catch up! “Go to Joseph,” the Lord tells us in Scripture!
Ash Wednesday is coming! You can do it — you can do your Valentine’s on Tuesday or Thursday. Be strong, be brave! Take a look at our Lent archives for thoughts on how to live this season well.
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post The easiest and best way to make sweet potatoes, chit-chat, links! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
February 3, 2024
Mostly about the kitchen island… and links!
(Happy to have this magnetic knife strip to clear off my counter here. It’s this one – affiliate link)
We had some technical issues with the blog this past week, so I apologize if you couldn’t comment and/or came here to find the blog not available. But my wonderful friend Andrew Malone (husband of my fabulous editor Nora Malone, who helped me so much with The Summa Domestica) gave things an overhaul and now they should be more functional now.
And despite my best efforts, the new Poetry Day post, which I decided to separate from last week’s post, did not have comments activated, but now it does, so please do go check that out. I added a PDF version so you can print it out if you would like! Deirdre has so many good thoughts about how to help children memorize and declaim poetry!
Speaking of functional, I thought we’d discuss a little more about cabinets (there was already a lot here) and especially, my island!
We gutted everything in this room, so it wasn’t possible to use the old cabinets. Because we actually gained some inches by taking down the three (!) layers of walls built up over the years (plus about 7″ of ceiling height!), we had to start fresh. If you have basically good cabinets but don’t love the style, consider simply refacing them with new doors and even either removing some or all uppers or adding boxes to go up to the ceiling. There are lots of options and the internet is positively teeming with them all.
I have seen several posts on trends saying that having shelves instead of upper cabinets will no longer be the thing, but I’m not really caring about that… I had actually lived with open cabinets because Rosie had removed the doors on a few of our old ones, and I love the practicality of that way of doing things.
If you look at old world/old fashioned kitchens, you will see that it’s seeing the dishes and pots that makes them charming.
I also tend to forget, immediately, about things not in view.
But no question, I was going to lose some storage in my immediate work area (gaining some across the room, true, but that’s not helpful for everyday dishes).
And that is how I came up with the idea of the island’s design.
This big lower drawer is made to look like two but is really one. The cabinetmaker suggested it, saying I’d have more room inside this way, since I wanted inset drawers.
Before, I had made do with the existing island by making a more workable top for it (thanks to the Chief who made it happen).
Things I liked about that old one: The surface entirely undisturbed by sink or any other thing (if you look at the before befores, you’ll see what I mean), so I could roll out my dough or put out our dinner to serve it from there, very handy.
And the fact that you could move it — move the whole thing a little closer to the sink if the kitchen table were extended, a little further away from the sink if several people were working at once in that area. (Again, you can see the befores and afters of this “make-do” renovation in this post.) It really fit perfectly into the space I have, taking into consideration traffic patterns, which are myriad and considerable here.
BEFORE:
Things I thought could be nicer: I absolutely love the “dairy” or “baker’s” table look with the turned legs. I love the way it’s a piece of furniture and not an extension of the cabinets, complete with barstools putting the occupiers’ backs to the rest of the room. We love our kitchen table, and certainly the work area is close enough to it. I may bring back the stools that went on the ends, but they will have to be repainted, so we’ll see. Their main virtue, in the eyes of my grandchildren, is the satisfying spinning experience of them!
I spent some time looking for an old dairy table sort of thing.
But then I realized: Besides a very specific size requirement, I also need two sets of drawers, not just one, so I can put all the dishes into the bottom one and keep my arrangement of utensils in the top.
And, Reader, I just really love the idea of drawers you don’t have to wrestle with! Soft-close hinges are … an unbelievable luxury that also saves marriages, since you don’t have to wrestle a drawer shut or close a cabinet door left slightly ajar (not to mention askew), after a spouse has blown through getting out the things he needs.
So I designed this one:
Basically the same size… And the cabinet-maker executed it so beautifully, even giving me a little storage on the other side for napkins and candles and little sundries: it’s nice to have such things accessible from the “table” side of the room. (You can see about the counters in this post, and why I chose soapstone, not marble as indicated in the drawing, after all.)
You can make a drawing like this too. You need graph paper, a ruler, and a pencil!
The examples you’ll see (mostly from the English cabinet company, DeVol) of the dairy table-as-island have a certain look on the legs, a tapering off that is so graceful. This was my main inspiration photo:
Since the cabinetmaker has to source those legs, vs. make them from scratch which would raise the cost considerably, the ones he could find that have the squared off part, the block, long enough to support two sets of drawers, have the more squat balls at the bottom.
(Do you see where the cabinet part goes into the legs, on the upper squared-off part? That part of the leg has to be square — it wouldn’t work very easily/cost-effectively to get it to go into a turned, rounded part of the leg.)
But in the end, I’m happy. I think the turned part with its round vs. tapered foot gives a good impression of bearing the weight of the drawers and heavy soapstone top. It is on sliders so it can be moved, though it is much heavier than my old one, what with the stone on top and all the dishes in there!
As to how it functions, I have the same basic layout of the drawers as before, but the lower area is plates rather than things I had in the old one, which now have new spots elsewhere.
This drawer, below, has flatware for meal service — handy to the dishwasher, which is a turn away, and the table. I can put things out on the island for someone else to set, or else easily access if I’m doing the setting myself. Things would fit even better if my set were truly flat vs. having those rounded handles, but it works.
The left drawer has my serving utensils and the secondary working utensils for cooking — things I use enough to want somewhat handy, but not enough to put closer to my work area. We’ll discuss all that another time!
And again, all the everyday dishes are right there, a quick turn from the dishwasher.
A note about drawer organization: I got the slanty bamboo organizer for flatware here (affiliate link). I would have preferred a simple divider kind of thing, but none really fit in an efficient way.
I got the other bamboo dividers (there are others I will show you another time) from Aldi. They had just the right things for me at just the right moment. I’m sorry if you missed it — there wasn’t even time for me to post about them! So all of these organizers (and ones I haven’t shown) were massively cheaper than any sort of custom arrangement.
In an example of taking a wait-and-see attitude (so useful in so many situations), I thought I’d need those dowel sorts of dividers for the plates and bowls drawer, but actually, due to the smooth operation, I really don’t and I’m glad I didn’t spring for them. And that’s good because a) I am not the sort of person ever to commit to any arrangement in there and b) they are expensive.
You might not think it, but the dishes and bowls really do stay put.
Bonus: the stool I need — a relic from my parents’-in-law house — just right here; so I got it out of the living room where it had previously resided under the piano — because that’s where they had kept it — slides right underneath and you can’t even see it!
Okay, I think that’s about it for the island!
On to our links!
bits & pieces
A lovely ramble with Denise Trull through the ordinary, extraordinary, happy life of the beloved illustrator, Arthur Rackham, as she tells us of a book (affiliate link) her husband bought her: “He loved his home, his wife, his daughter, his art. He genuinely had a splendid time creating all his illustrations with whimsy and wit and a constant eye for beauty. He had no pretensions nor demanded to be treated as though he were some sort of art god. He treated his art as a living as well as a thing to give him pleasure. He was very careful to save the money he earned and invested it for his family’s comfort and ease. He bought a comfortable, whimsical house and made sure his own artist-wife had a studio of her own. He also listened eagerly to her comments and suggestions. She was his greatest and most sought out critic.”
Do you have a glut of limes? Sometimes there is a sale all of a sudden. Here’s a way to preserve them. I’ve just uploaded a new highlight on my Instagram, by the way, on my process for fermenting garlic. It’s so easy to grow this crop and I have a wonderful supply (in part due to not having a kitchen for seven months but I digress). Fermenting makes them tasty and handy, as the peeling gets done in one go.
A disturbing development in the Catholic Church, but also in many sects, is the growing affirmation of homosexuality; this is purely a capitulation to worldliness; the opposite of true religion. I signed this statement which expresses very well why this can never be accepted by the faithful.
The world must be peopled! My husband on where our true interests lie.
Next month my husband and I will be in St. Louis to give talks — I hope we will see you there! Here is the info:
from the archivesSpeaking of saving marriages (see above, drawer closing innovations), I stand by these products, much cheaper than couples therapy.
Don’t miss my easy and delicious birthday (and every occasion) cake — we only have a little time left to us for chocolate!
liturgical living
St. Blaise
Tomorrow the Seven Sundays of St. Joseph begin!
Ash Wednesday this year falls on Valentine’s Day. Don’t be surprised about this! Gird your loins! You can do it! Celebrate on the 13th or the 15th. We will survive!
Lent is indeed nigh! I recommend this book by Suzan Sammons.
Using traditional resources from the saints and Church Fathers, Suzan offers a treasury of daily reflections on the Stations of the Cross. Augmenting the rather quick thoughts that happen during the weekly Stations devotions, these are meditations spread throughout the whole of Lent, offered in a way that can be fruitful for the whole family.
If you’re looking for a personal devotional this Lent or a family activity that is rooted in tradition, this book is one I can recommend. And Sophia is offering 30% off on their site right now. (I am not an affiliate of Sophia Press.)
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Mostly about the kitchen island… and links! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
February 2, 2024
Poetry Day with Children
I’ve put the poetry information I posted last week here in its own post, for the sake of the archives, and I’ve added suggestions for poetry anthologies we’ve loved over the years, as well as comments I’ve received so far, as they were quite helpful. Please add your own thoughts below!
Here is this post in PDF form for printing out: Poetry Day
Let’s memorize poetry together!
A Child’s Garden of Verses (affiliate link)
My daughter Deirdre Folley, who now has six children and lives not far from us — and belongs to the same homeschooling group she grew up in! — hosts a poetry group for children. It meets monthly at her house.
She recently sent out a summary of the goals and methods for recitation, and I asked her if I could share it with you! It’s great.
(In this post, I link to a wonderful essay by Jean Kerr on her experience with a family “culture hour,” which was notable in that she did not homeschool and she had five boys — so no excuses!) (Full disclosure, I was terrible at having my children recite things, but my children do very well having my grandchildren recite!)
When Deirdre sends out her email prior to Poetry Day, she says, “Anyone who’d like to recite is welcome to a turn. We love to hear from anyone, from wee beginner to advanced big kid or mom!”
If you had this group say, on a Sunday after church, you could include dads as well. My husband has a few poems he pulls out to the delight of our children and now grandchildren.
Deirdre’s Thoughts and Standards for Poetry Day
Why Memorize and Recite Poetry?
– To increase cultural literacy (if your child does not know his poetry, from nursery rhymes to Shakespeare, there is no telling how many references he will miss over his lifetime!).
– To expand knowledge of and appreciation for language usage.
– To develop a sense of rhythm, meter, timing, cadence – the musicality of language.
– To encounter the vast trove of knowledge and wisdom found in poetry.
– To increase poise and confidence; preparation for future public speaking and acting.
– For enjoyment and delight!
Steps for teaching poetry and having kids recite successfully
1. Read the poem aloud to your child with strong expression. We latch on to visual cues, so beautifully illustrated poetry books are the best way to begin!
2. Read the poem aloud again the next day and discuss. This does not need to be tedious or deeply scholarly; simply exchange some ideas about the poem, explain any unknown words, maybe share a favorite line, etc. We memorize better what we fully understand.
3. On the third day, read aloud again. Then have the child recite with you as you repeat it a fourth time. They pick up very fast and will already be well on their way to knowing it by now!
4. Daily: the child stands up and faces you to try the poem on his own. Include hand gestures (especially with little ones) to engage the body, making the poem more fun and much more memorable. Target trouble areas and have him repeat. If you can’t hear him or can’t understand him, have him slow down and try again with more clarity. Be slow to prompt. Let him reach for the words with his memory so that he owns them.
5. You may want to re-enforce the poem by occasionally re-reading it (or reciting it, if you’ve memorized it). Vary your expressions so that the child gets different ideas about how to approach reciting. Affirm expressive recitation with big smiles, strong reactions, and applause.
6. “Dress Rehearsal” — Have the child practice the poem in front of someone who has not heard it before (Dad, other family members, friends), with the expectation that there will be no prompting. If he’s really struggling, you can prompt — but make sure you give him a long chance before stepping in!
7. If Dress Rehearsal didn’t go well, go back to earlier steps and refresh. If it went well, he is ready for a formal recitation!
A Child’s Calendar (affiliate link)
Further tips for challenging poems (for older/more advanced students):
– We have to have a piece memorized ‘pat’ before we can fully imbue it with expression. At the same time, dramatic expression helps make a poem memorable. Practice by going back and forth between ‘rattling it off’ and expressive recitation.
– Practice the poem again before bed and then first thing in the morning. This increases memorization because of how our brains form pathways while we sleep.
– Practice in a foreign accent sometimes.
– Walking in circles, pacing, marching, dancing while reciting will all help seal the words in our minds.
– Do have siblings learn together in a group! Yes, the toddler can absolutely be listening along and learning the harder poems (while the older siblings revisit the easy ones). While each child only has to master one, all of them learn all the poems (at least a bit) — a great way to maximize learning! That being said, when big siblings are working on long and/or challenging poems, let them do much of the work on their own so as not to tax the littles.
This is the version my (Auntie Leila’s) father gave me when I was a little girl! The cover changed in later years: The Golden Treasury of Poetry (affiliate link)
Poetry Day Standards
– Please emphasize to your children at home that we do not talk while others are reciting.* Moms will do our best to keep noisy babies aside so as not to disrupt the recitations.
– The reciter should announce the poem title and poet if applicable.
– In the interest of keeping the session moving and not wearing out the little listeners, reciters should begin promptly once they take the floor.
– Each child has a chance to recite what he has learned. If too nervous on the first attempt, he should sit down and may try again after a spell. After a second attempt, if he’s not up for it, then we’ll try again next month!
– Please establish expectations for behavior with your child before the moment to get up and try arrives.
– The more exciting and expressive the recitation, the better the audience will listen!
*Auntie Leila’s suggestion for decorum: Have a little ritual during practice at home and certainly at Poetry Day of taking a moment to arrange listeners sitting quietly on the floor. Prepare them briefly by saying, “Now we will listen to the poems, sitting quietly, hands folded!” Where there are a lot of children, taking time to get them situated that way (or on laps etc) goes a long way to avoiding the dreaded loud whispers and admonishments as the main event is occurring. Scootch an unruly child right out or have him sit right next to you. Soon they will get the idea… It’s all a matter of habit!
I heartily second Deirdre’s tip about not dwelling on a young child’s shyness and so on. Give them a little try and then move on. One of her boys was paralyzed with fear at age 4 and now at age 8 is as expressive and enthusiastic as it is possible to be!
Some more poetry books (affiliate links) (the others are up above, if you missed them, along with their photos!):
The Oxford Book of Children’s Verse
The Bad Child’s Book of Beasts by Hillaire Belloc
Sing-Song: A Nursery Rhyme Book by Christina Rosetti
Mother Goose rhymes are perfect for the littles: here’s my post with some recommendations.
What do you find effective in poetry memorization? Have you hosted a poetry day? Do you have a beloved anthology of poetry? Let us know in the comments!
Two comments already received on that other post that I am putting here for their helpfulness:
Victoria says: Thanks for sharing these poetry ideas! We have similar suggestions and guidelines for the recitation portion at the end of our co-op day. It’s a 10-minute bock, we have 14 families, so we have a rotation for turns, and if there is time leftover, I take volunteers. In our co-op, we don’t require memorization, but we do ask for excellent diction and audibleness. Most kids have their work memorized after all of their practice, anyway. Another rule we have is the the poem has to be from a published author. Some children who love to be on stage have a temptation to recite a poem or story they are making up on the spot. 
It’s something most of our students look forward to with excitement–our more reserved kids feel challenged, but I notice a lot of pride of accomplishment when they take their turn. We also take Shakespeare dialogues and segments of literature if it comes from a particularly poetic (in the broader sense of the word) portion of the story.
Margaret says: Thank you for sharing Deirdre’s poetry write-up. It’s an excellent summation of the why and the how and I will share it with my homeschool co-op group.
The memorization and recitation of poetry has been a joy and delight in our family but, admittedly, I have flagged this past year and floundered to select poems which get me excited (which, in turn, helps to get the kids excited). Perhaps these things ebb and flow. In my experience, the attitude of the first-born child to the poem often shapes that of his siblings. The compliance or resistance of that child can make or break our experience (though I won’t easily be out-stubborned!).
I’ve kept a list over the years of all those poems that we have committed to memory. Do you or Deirdre have any favourite poems that are dear to your hearts?
We started our poetry recitation adventure when my firstborn was four years old with Christina Rosetti’s lovely poem “Flint.” My son recited it to an extended family member while on vacation at Gunflint Lake in MN (hence our focus on flint). He received much encouragement and I was so proud of his earnest recitation. A year or two later, to my immense satisfaction, my children memorized William Blake’s “The Lamb” and recited it to the sheep at our County Fair. What fun!
Variety makes for fun: it seems that it can be helpful to have a mix of funny (“The Vulture ” by Hillaire Belloc), inspirational (“If” by Rudyard Kipling), historical (“The Charge of the Light Brigade” and “In Flanders’ Fields”), Shakespearean, narrative (“The King’s Breakfast” by A. A. Milne), cautionary (“Jim” by Hillaire Belloc).
I would welcome any suggestions! Do you have favourite types of poems?
Thanks again for sharing! It’s so nice to hear of the experience of others and so encouraging that others find poetry worth committing to memory and reciting with enthusiasm!
The post Poetry Day with Children appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
January 27, 2024
Poetry Day Thoughts and Standards, Kitchen Soapstone Counters, and Links!
Homeschooling/Child Education Corner
Deirdre, who now has six children and lives not far from us — and belongs to the same homeschooling group she grew up in! — hosts a poetry group for children. It meets monthly at her house.
She recently sent out a summary of the goals and methods for recitation, and I asked her if I could share it with you! It’s great. (In this post, I link to a wonderful essay by Jean Kerr on her experience, which was notable in that she did not homeschool and she had five boys — so no excuses!) (Full disclosure, I was terrible at having my children recite things, but my children do very well having my grandchildren recite!)
When Deirdre sends out her email prior to Poetry Day, she says, “Anyone who’d like to recite is welcome to a turn. We love to hear from anyone, from wee beginner to advanced big kid or mom!” If you had this group say, on a Sunday after church, you could include dads as well. My husband has a few poems he pulls out to the delight of our children and now grandchildren.
Deirdre’s Thoughts and Standards for Poetry Day
Why Memorize and Recite Poetry?
– To increase cultural literacy (if your child does not know his poetry, from nursery rhymes to Shakespeare, there is no telling how many references he will miss over his lifetime!).
– To expand knowledge of and appreciation for language usage.
– To develop a sense of rhythm, meter, timing, cadence – the musicality of language.
– To encounter the vast trove of knowledge and wisdom found in poetry.
– To increase poise and confidence; preparation for future public speaking and acting.
– For enjoyment and delight!
Steps for teaching poetry and having kids recite successfully
1. Read the poem aloud to your child with strong expression. We latch on to visual cues, so beautifully illustrated poetry books are the best way to begin!
2. Read the poem aloud again the next day and discuss. This does not need to be tedious or deeply scholarly; simply exchange some ideas about the poem, explain any unknown words, maybe share a favorite line, etc. We memorize better what we fully understand.
3. On the third day, read aloud again. Then have the child recite with you as you repeat it a fourth time. They pick up very fast and will already be well on their way to knowing it by now!
4. Daily: the child stands up and faces you to try the poem on his own. Include hand gestures (especially with little ones) to engage the body, making the poem more fun and much more memorable. Target trouble areas and have him repeat. If you can’t hear him or can’t understand him, have him slow down and try again with more clarity. Be slow to prompt. Let him reach for the words with his memory so that he owns them.
5. You may want to re-enforce the poem by occasionally re-reading it (or reciting it, if you’ve memorized it). Vary your expressions so that the child gets different ideas about how to approach reciting. Affirm expressive recitation with big smiles, strong reactions, and applause.
6. “Dress Rehearsal” — Have the child practice the poem in front of someone who has not heard it before (Dad, other family members, friends), with the expectation that there will be no prompting. If he’s really struggling, you can prompt — but make sure you give him a long chance before stepping in!
7. If Dress Rehearsal didn’t go well, go back to earlier steps and refresh. If it went well, he is ready for a formal recitation!
Further tips for challenging poems (for older/more advanced students):
– We have to have a piece memorized ‘pat’ before we can fully imbue it with expression. At the same time, dramatic expression helps make a poem memorable. Practice by going back and forth between ‘rattling it off’ and expressive recitation.
– Practice the poem again before bed and then first thing in the morning. This increases memorization because of how our brains form pathways while we sleep.
– Practice in a foreign accent sometimes.
– Walking in circles, pacing, marching, dancing while reciting will all help seal the words in our minds.
– Do have siblings learn together in a group! Yes, the toddler can absolutely be listening along and learning the harder poems (while the older siblings revisit the easy ones). While each child only has to master one, all of them learn all the poems (at least a bit) — a great way to maximize learning! That being said, when big siblings are working on long and/or challenging poems, let them do much of the work on their own so as not to tax the littles.
Poetry Day Standards
– Please emphasize to your children at home that we do not talk while others are reciting.* Moms will do our best to keep noisy babies aside so as not to disrupt the recitations.
– The reciter should announce the poem title and poet if applicable.
– In the interest of keeping the session moving and not wearing out the little listeners, reciters should begin promptly once they take the floor.
– Each child has a chance to recite what he/she has learned. If too nervous on the first attempt, he/she should sit down and may try again after a spell. After a second attempt, if he/she’s not up for it, then we’ll try again next month!
– Please establish expectations for behavior with your child before the moment to get up and try arrives.
– The more exciting and expressive the recitation, the better the audience will listen!
*Auntie Leila’s suggestion for decorum: Have a little ritual during practice at home and certainly at Poetry Day of taking a moment to arrange listeners sitting quietly on the floor. Prepare them briefly by saying, “Now we will listen to the poems, sitting quietly, hands folded!” Where there are a lot of children, taking time to get them situated that way (or on laps etc) goes a long way to avoiding the dreaded loud whispers and admonishments as the main event is occurring. Scootch an unruly child right out or have him sit right next to you. Soon they will get the idea… It’s all a matter of habit!
Feel free to use this guide in your own home or homeschool. I will come back and add it in document form. Just do give Deirdre Folley credit — thank you!
Kitchen Renovation Corner: Soapstone Counters
As promised, today we will talk about counters!
I love my soapstone!
How did I choose it? As I was going through images of kitchens I love and pinning them, I noticed I love the yellow of cabinets with black counters.
I did so much research into every sort of countertop! And what I have to say here is really about my preferences, so please don’t feel bad if you chose something different. There are beautiful things about all the types. Even my old white formica had its advantages! I could bleach it; it didn’t break the things I clumsily dropped on it.
My preference is for real stone. I like the idea of things lasting a long time and being traditional.
I also wanted wood counters over on the side with the vintage sink, but in the end, I found out that it’s so long a run (11′), butcher block meant either settling for one with such tiny slivers of wood that it looked ridiculous, or getting it made custom, which would cost almost as much as stone and take way longer. I do love the look of wood counters — it just didn’t end up being practical.
So for me, this meant granite, soapstone, and marble were my choices. I love marble so much, but in the end — and believe me, there was agony of indecision right up to the last minute — knowing myself and my propensity to strew lemon juice everywhere and spatter tomato sauce and in general not be very careful when in the throes of my work, the staining/etching problem was decisive.
I don’t mind the patina/wear on marble at all. I am, as you can tell, not a perfectionist. I almost got it.
However, I think it looks best with darker cabinets and I was definitely going with the yellow. And the actual marbles I saw were very gray; the nice lady told me that the quarries have been sending gray more and more. This is for Carrera. I know there are other kinds, but I wanted Carrera if I was going in that direction (among other reasons, for the budget; but I also love its connection with the other marble in my house, in the fireplace mantels and surrounds).
What I love about the soapstone are these qualities: it doesn’t etch or stain, at all; it is actually antibacterial; it’s black! Here in New England, soapstone has been used for centuries and really holds up to all sorts of wear. In fact, I can remember the soapstone counters in my high school lab in New Jersey, so it was used all over, really!
Mine is very dark, even when it hasn’t been oiled. And that is the upkeep of it: if you want to, oil it. No sealing. Since I scrub my counters all the time, running an oily cloth over them is no big deal. And if I don’t do it, they are still pretty.
I thought I would not want any hint of green in the veining, but I actually just love the warmth of the veins and the ever-so-slight green in them. I truly do! Again, it’s so hard to see how things really are in pictures.
It’s honed — soapstone is soft enough so that it can’t be polished, and I would have gotten honed marble had I gone in that direction. I love the muted light on it, and the actual softness (if stone can be said to be soft) is a bonus for butter-fingered me!
The island’s stone has an ogee edge, just to be fancy that way. I wasn’t sure I wanted everything black (and that was part of the agony — should I get marble for the island?? aaarghh — but in the end, I couldn’t find marble the right color, and I’m very happy with the black and don’t think it’s to much at all!).
I thought I would get channels cut in the drainboard next to the sink; the installer forgot to do them and then very remorsefully offered to come back right away to put them in. But I am truly happier this way (and got that $$ back).
It’s funny how some things that seemed very important in the planning turned out to be not a factor at all. (Not that I was even tempted: but I would say a pot-filler tap over the stove is an example of such an element. If you love yours, great, but I have no need for it at all.)
I wholeheartedly recommend the fabricator, by the way — not an ad, just a very happy customer of OB Marble and Granite. They were super patient with my nigh endless ditherings and uncertainties, answering every email and text and also doing their part as fast as they could.
I cannot recommend enough that when you are choosing the countertop material, you go to several warehouses and look at stones — touch them, imagine living with the pattern and color. The downside is that those places are poorly lit if indoors (which is better for the stone, as opposed to being outside).
It’s so hard to know what the color really is, on the one hand, in there. On the other, there’s no substitute for looking at the material in real life and comparing the various options. I feel that once you see actual marble and soapstone, you won’t love manufactured varieties. (I know granite is popular; it’s just not what I wanted.)
But there are also differences among the stones. Some of the soapstone I saw seemed sealed or somehow imbued with something on the surface, or was not as veined as I wanted. Some of the marble had weird spots or was too gray, which might not have come through in pictures sent to me from the fabricator.
When I saw the stone I chose, I knew right away it was the one. After a frustrating search, I spoke to Natalia at OB and she showed me some of what they were already working on for another customer; she found that the warehouse had something similar. That warehouse, Boston Granite Exchange, had the friendliest staff (and many of the ones I went to were very friendly, though some were not) and the vastest inventory. The lady who helped me was free with her knowledge (and also likes traditional stone, so that was nice) and very patient while I looked at So. Many. Stones. Again, not sponsored, just my experience.
And it’s amazing how much experience you get! I had had no idea that there were these different aspects — fabricators, warehouses — each with its own part in the process. I had no idea how many of each there are in my area, at least. Literally dozens if not hundreds. The fabricators I got quotes from were all super nice, friendly, and helpful. And you should know, if you only have a small area to put a counter on: they have yards full of remnants! If I had a small bathroom counter to do, I would definitely check in to see if I could get a bargain.
You can see what a beautiful job they did here with that curved part of the counter.
By the way, here is the “before” of that counter with the Berkey:
I wasn’t totally happy with where it was, but didn’t exactly know what to do. Rosie suggested getting a stand for it, but I am honestly sick of buying things for the kitchen at the moment!
But on Thursday I was at a consignment store, and looking down (always look down!) lo, what did I see! A Berkey stand for $5.81 to be precise!
And amazingly, it fits perfectly right there between the sink and the shelves. I was even sort of questioning why I didn’t have the shelves go right to the window! But if I had, it wouldn’t have fitted here.
Here are two other things I got there: a Polish Pottery bowl and a ceramic soap dish for a bathroom the soap holder of which I was recently noticing needed replacing.
(Fork for size reference.) I decided a while ago that if I’m going to scramble a couple of eggs or mix up salad dressing, I’d just as soon do it in a nice bowl!
So, in short, love the soapstone.
Love it.
Speaking of the sink, we’ll talk about my sinks in another post, but I wanted to say quickly that contrary to what you might have thought, my main sink is double! It has what’s called a low divide. This means I can put a large pan in there but I can also be dealing with a chicken on one side and not contaminating the other.
Plus, each side is big enough to hold my large lasagna pan (10 x 14″).
This is another decision I made not quite knowing if I’d be okay with it, but I do actually love it.
I think that’s it for the counters!
bits & piecesAs I always say, use the time when your children are little to learn self control and to become well read and informed, especially on matters of education. Here’s a nice article on the subject: Early days for learning virtue. (I would only caution against listening to something with earbuds while your children are awake; it’s important that you have awareness of what they are doing; even if it’s not anything dangerous or trouble-brewing, you learn a lot from overhearing their chatter and may even be delighted with their independent play — another part of your own development.)
Elizabeth Lemme, whose work I’ve linked to before, alerted me to her new Bury the Alleluia coloring page she created for the approaching Septuagesima Sunday and/or Ash Wednesday. I love her delicate work. The Etsy links are here for home use, and here for parish/classroom use. (These are downloads, so you get them instantly.) The difference between them is the number of copies licensed with the purchase. It’s kind of on the honors system – with the $2.50 purchase, one can make as many copies as they want for their household. With the $15 purchase, a pastor or catechist can make as many copies as they want, each year, for their parish. She also has a Jonah and the Whale Alleluia drawing for coloring! The home use is here and the parish use is here.
She writes: The Bury the Alleluia is a loose tradition that could be done very simply at home, or at church with a great deal of fanciness. For a Bury the Alleluia at home, each of us in our family colors an “Alleluia” coloring page, and on the eve of Septuagesima Sunday (today is the eve!) we bury it because of the Alleluias disappearing from the liturgy until the Easter Vigil. (Families who follow the new liturgical calendar could bury the Alleluia on the eve of Ash Wednesday). One year I just stuck the coloring pages in a coffee table drawer, and then brought them out on Easter to display on the wall. Another year, the kids hid them in a secret place and they were excited to surprise everyone and bring them out on Easter Sunday. This year, however, there has been some talk amongst the boys that they will actually bury it in the backyard! It will be interesting to see how my six-year-old plans to package the coloring pages so as to waterproof them! I believe the Benedictines of Ephesus bury theirs outside. Our own pastor had the kids in catechism class color an Alleluia and write one virtue they want to work on throughout Lent across the top of the page. He will bury all of their alleluias at the church and then resurrect them on Easter.
These Tiny Baroque Prints Once Served as Edible Prayers
A review of some books about angels, with a nice long excerpt from one of my very favorite authors, John Saward.
from the archivesLast year I had a lot of success with my winter sowing. Especially the beets, which we are still eating now!
A post in my Moral Life of the Child series
liturgical living
As I mentioned above, tonight is the eve of Septaugesima, the time of preparation before Lent begins in the old, traditional calendar. I have learned to appreciate being given, liturgically speaking, a heads up on the matter. Some thoughts on the matter.
Last chance for Candlemas prep before I see you again! It wouldn’t hurt to get your Advent candles blessed, you know what I mean?
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Poetry Day Thoughts and Standards, Kitchen Soapstone Counters, and Links! appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
January 20, 2024
Unfitted Kitchen, But With Cabinets
Go ahead and laugh, but I tried to channel all the Carl Larsson/Cotswold Cottage/Massachusetts Colonial/DeVol Workshop/Massachusetts Greek Revival (my actual house’s era, 1860)/Unfitted Kitchen inspiration into my kitchen design. (If you want all the visuals, go here to my Pinterest board.)
(A print of this is up in a bathroom upstairs — I think I will bring it down soon!)
I also had to be remembering that I have worked here for 24 years and the layout is ingrained in my muscle memory, as are my preferences for my work order. I have made numberless meals on a regular basis for up to eleven people every day, and I know what I need to have right at hand. I know what frustrated me (not much light! so many paths! small work area! where to put the fridge! bodies in my way!). I know what I loved (the fireplace! my view of my yard! people at the kitchen table! being able to go right out to the deck!).
And also of course, there’s the matter of staying in the budget. And not going crazy!
Obviously a big part of any kitchen design will be the cabinets. As I said, everything had to be ripped out (floor, ceiling, walls, everything), and our old cabinets, while solid in some ways (not in others), were not going to fit the new situation.
For instance, after three (3!) layers of walls were removed, we gained some inches, and the two (2!) layers of ceilings coming down made the end result 6″ higher. If you can keep your cabinet boxes, you should. It’s not hard to change doors or paint, and for about 23 years we were pretty happy with the old cabinets just painted a cheery yellow.
My excellent contractor put me onto a local cabinet maker, Carousel Cabinets, and they worked with my design to produce custom cabinets fitted to the inch. And I’m going to say that having talked to a conventional kitchen cabinet dealer and gotten a quote, what I got was less expensive and far more particular. The dealer can only offer semi-custom (basically in 3″ increments), which means you end up with spacers and upsellings for expensive little fillers that aren’t really useful.
Dave at Carousel Cabinets (and this is not any sort of promo whatsoever) sat with me and sweated out the exact configuration I needed to make my limited space work for me. He also added his expertise in thinking in three dimensions, resulting in some of my more cockamamie ideas actually working (e.g. the corner shelves next to the stove — it was he who expanded them so I could actually access the space — I talk about this problematic area here and there are many befores-and-afters in that post).
Here are my drawings — and if you are going to work directly with the cabinet maker, you need something like these, or a designer to come up with them. He will then make his own schematics.
One of the services the kitchen dealer (you know, the showroom where they have all the displays, and basically salesmen for your project) offers is this interface, between your possibly vague ideas and the cabinet factory’s need for precision, but they are more used, I think, to working with a conventional kitchen rather than an old, funky one like mine. For instance, they all wanted me to have a big island with stools and get rid of my kitchen table…
Finally, I simply took graph paper and drew things to scale myself; but it was a lot of work, though also fun. (I will say, following some blogs of actual designers, in the end a lot comes down to the actual installation, and it’s not uncommon for things to look a bit different from the plan, whether you are an architect or a housewife.)
I wanted the Shaker design for the cabinet fronts, but simple so I could easily wipe them (no beading, which I love but fear, as I’m not that good of a housekeeper).
I wanted the feet on the bottoms of the lowers — this is the element that most gives the “unfitted,” furniture-like look even when you are needing to maximize every inch’s efficiency, meaning it all had to be quite fitted in the end, despite my visions of hutches and so on.
Fortunately, Dave was willing to make that all look the way I wanted, and my contractor, Joe Basile, who is an amazing carpenter, made those feet happen after Dave made them. “I love them so!” I exclaimed. “I hate them!” he responded. Well, they took him a long time to install on my wonky floor! (Some touchups still need to happen here, FYI)
The cabinets are wood (high-quality maple plywood for stability) and the doors and fronts are MDF (“it should be called H[high]DF because it’s an incredibly solid, durable product,” Dave told me). I went with that for a couple of reasons (the wood cabinets, the two uppers, have wood doors though).
One, wood fronts are much more expensive, and for me the budget priority was to have everything fit perfectly and work efficiently. Two, I don’t have AC, and in the summer my kitchen is humid; in winter the wood stove is going all the time and things get very dry.
I know from experience with my old, solid wood cabinets that the face boards move, splitting the paint and so on. I decided to avoid all that (with the need for refinishing down the road) by doing with the MDF.
I love them. They feel and look like wood. I was worried they would feel plasticky, but they don’t — as they are painted, they feel like the other painted surfaces (eg the shelves). They are beautiful.
I love my open shelves so much.
As you will recall, we had taken the doors off of some of our old cabinets and so I was familiar with having things be open. I love my bowls and pretty things. I love seeing them — they make me happy, as well as saving me from rummaging for just the right serving dish by being on view. I am fine with wiping shelves, and the truth is you have to wipe down closed cabinets as well!
I feel like a princess with my soft-close drawers! True royalty!
And I highly, astronomically, stratospherically recommend drawers for your lower cabinets! What a joy — they pull all the way out and are so sturdy — you can load them up.
I have so much to say about how I decided where everything would go, but this will have to do for now. I am also on the lookout for vintage shelves for the spaces below the built-in shelves, so all that will have to be for another post!
Paint colors: Cabinets: Benjamin Moore Governor’s Gold; Walls/trim: BM Calming Cream; Upper cabinets: cherry with walnut stain; Island: pine with chestnut stain.
bits & piecesBetrayed Without a Kiss — an article everyone should read. We need to reject divorce.
For many years, as the LGBT gender ideology got going for real, Christians were inundated and inundated each other with soft and hard rhetoric for accepting it, mostly based on false ideas about charity and niceness. We’ve now come to the (inevitable, forewarned) point of internal approbation, and we need to repent and put a stop to it, however late in the game. I recommend reading Leila Miller’s forthright words on the subject here and here (I mean, really — can we just bring back taboos against being sketchy?). I also recommend reading what Cardinal Müller has to say, here. Common sense, Scripture, and the perennial teaching of the Church, people!
New Hampshire’s oppressive pine tree laws sparked a little-known colonial uprising in 1772 called the Pine Tree Riot. An early test of British royal authority, it may have encouraged the Boston Tea Party a year and a half later.
from the archivesPrudent purchases for the household — I wrote this for an unmarried lady, but it’s never too late.
No matter what people tell you about “today” and how “things are different, you need to tell your kids about things,” remember — parents have to protect their children’s innocence.
liturgical living
Again, remember — Candlemas is coming. Go to this post and scroll to the liturgical living section for candle thoughts!
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Unfitted Kitchen, But With Cabinets appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
January 13, 2024
Kitchen Updates and The Best Possible New Year’s Resolution
{The giveaway is closed! If you won — and we have two winners, one for the large and one for the small Fiat Planner — an email will be wending its way to you!}
{If you are receiving this post in your email, be sure to look at it on the website — sometimes I edit things later or add information. Wouldn’t want you to miss that!}
Good thing this is not a design blog, or I’d have to be sure things were super tidied up and completely finished for me to show you what’s been going on in the kitchen!
You are kind to indulge me on the kitchen reno! I am going to go on about it and just assume that if you are here for other content you will be patient and just skip to further down!
Today I’ll try to give you the big picture. The stove was hooked up on Dec. 22, if you can imagine the nail-bitingness of that, so you will see why I needed a big break to get to this point. Yes, I was hosting Christmas!
I will go into detail in subsequent posts because I so love how it turned out and because I hope my 44 years of making do and wearing out and thinking about what works and would be beautiful could help you when it comes time for you to make decisions, little or big.
Just like everything else I write, it’s all about things I wish I had known before or had someone to tell me about. I’ve made lots of mistakes and you will too, but it is just fun to try to figure things out and make them better.
Okay, come on in!
The view from the hall (the big front door, front stairs, den, living room, and dining room are behind me/to the left or right) — there are still paint cans and other evidences of a work in progress, but let’s get to it:
Also, I want to say — I know many of you loved my old kitchen! I did too! I really did.
There were things that drove me crazy, and ultimately it had to go for a few reasons, one of which is the size of our house (huge) made it ridiculous to put money into sprucing up what was an inadequate space.
As my daughter-in-law Natasha said, there are often so many people here (and we do have 8 bedrooms), it doesn’t make sense to have a kitchen with such a small workspace.
Another is the “one-thing-leads-to-another” aspect of changing out permanent fixtures like counter height, necessary to accommodate new appliances that wouldn’t fit in the old: if we were going there, better to do it right.
Here is a sketch of the floor plan so you can understand the drastic nature of what had to happen. Keep in mind ALL the doorways, windows, and fireplace, and how HARD it was to fit things in, despite the rather large area (it’s about 400 sq. ft, not counting the pantry).
(I should have labeled things more: at the top of the picture you see the door to the back stairs; they go behind the fireplace which is the jutting out element there. To the left is the basement door, going behind the fireplace with stairs going down. To the left of that is the door to the mudroom. The pantry and mudroom back up on each other but are not connected.)
The red line represents the new, pushed-out wall you see in the photo above.
The area to the left of the red line (shaded) was previously on the deck. We called it the “nook” and it was handy for storing deck furniture cushions in a big wooden chest when it rained and for just adding interest to our beloved outdoor area.
If you are a fan of A Pattern Language, you will see why I was attached to this nook, as unimportant in the larger scheme of things as it was (i.e. better to have the space in the kitchen!). It just added interest to the deck (I mean other than the trashed sink haha… )
Here’s how it looked inside, BEFORE — the kitchen table is behind you and you’re looking towards the sliding door out to the deck:
(This is an old photo and you can seen how much goes on here! My mother, Habou, cooking up some craft [Pysanky] for everyone to do, people talking while I’m preparing something, and so on… real life! somewhat squeezed in, which I love.)
People would say, “Couldn’t you take that area and bring it into the kitchen?” and we always thought we couldn’t.
We thought it held up the hallway upstairs (turns out, no, the joists went all the way across, but to be fair there is a beam there even up above that fake beam, that turned out to be supporting… nothing!). We thought we’d lose the window (no, duh, just moved it). We thought the radiator was a fixture (no, it could be moved — had no idea! construction is amazing!).
So the process of bumping that area out began and is what took so darned long (among other things of course). The radiator was moved as you see, above.
But make no mistake, this was an intense process.
Here is the view now:
We put in a “French” sliding door with as close to real dividers as you can get and still be weather-tight. And raised the opening by 2 1/2″ which didn’t cost that much extra, but added a certain generous air.
I promise to talk about this area more… the secondary vintage sink, the extra oven, the storage… but right now, let’s just feel the space!!
The other big change was bumping out the new, way bigger window over the main sink (left — East — side of the plan here, in red):
BEFORE (and don’t get me wrong — I love the life and prettiness of this! we made do and it was glorious!):
AFTER:
He still has to put a trim on the built-in fridge to close up that gap, and actually here are trims missing on the uppers all around. The dishwasher will get a panel as well.
If you see anything and say, “Wait, is that how it is going to be” just know — this is not actually completely done!
Of course it’s not haha…
You can see how much bigger the window is!
Just as we got things up and working, I read a post about “The 7 mistakes people make renovating a kitchen” and #1 is making the windows too big!
Well, I guess I did that. It does take away interior storage. But I do love it! I’m not living in a cave anymore!
The windows also have as true divided lights as you can get, and they are casement windows (the two on either side).
I may bring back stools, we will see. Right now they are out in the garage needing a good scrubbing and probably refinishing after 24 years of hard use, mainly by children and then grandchildren spinning on them!
The counters are all soapstone. I love them!
The floor is yellow heart pine.
I’ll show you more details of all of it another day. We’ll do a thorough examination of everything!
Here’s how it looks now, coming in from the mudroom:
BEFORE:
The bricks on the left and the cabinet there as you come in on the right are gone and the fridge cabinet starts sort of where the stove starts.
(To see about the bricks, go to my Instagram highlight.)
Okay, that’s enough for now, I think!
Since I know you’ll ask:
This is the range: Kucht Gemstone 36″ gas stove. I got it because it is not too pricey, relatively speaking, and has a 4 year warranty and zero digital anything. We’ll talk about it later!
This is the fridge: Fisher-Paykel panel-ready 36″ counter-depth fridge. The biggest headache in this whole renovation was figuring out where to put the fridge. We just have so many pathways and that stupid appliance sticks out and dominates everything. I decided it was worth it to get this one so that it just disappears and is still in handy reach. So far I love it and find its configuration makes up for its small size in cubit feet. The old one (which is very good actually) is in the pantry, so overall I have a lot of refrigeration available to me.
(These are the only two appliances I bought new. I will eventually tell you about the others, which I got used.)
bits & piecesSurrogacy is something we need to oppose. It’s trafficking in human flesh, murder, and depravity. One woman’s experience of being the child bought in a transaction with her mother.
If you need a little brushing up on the question, does 1 ÷ 0 = 0, go here! (Spoiler: it does not, but sometimes 3rd grade is hard.)
Unlikely figures who rallied around the Traditional Latin Mass in the 60s and 70s
Having recently observed the Feast of the Circumcision, I thought it appropriate to pass along this examination of the practice. In my own researches, I came across the same issue the author brings out: hospital circumcision is substantially, clinically different from ritual circumcision, which of course I support as a matter of religious freedom, though, from the point of view of religion, it’s clear that Christians are under no obligation to undergo or impose it. (If a Christian has reasons to circumcise the male child, avoiding division between spouses for instance, I strongly suggest seeking out a Jewish practitioner, foregoing the hospital route, which in my opinion amounts to mutilation.) I realize this is a touchy subject (and can quickly get anti-Semitic which is abhorrent to me), but I think it’s important to know that what happens in American hospitals is not the same as the ancient practice.
from the archives
Can your New Year’s Resolutions Take the Reality Test?
What is the best possible New Year’s Resolution? Besides very practically knowing what is for supper and being on top of the laundry (I explain it all in that link and the series it began, becoming the third volume of The Summa Domestica)?
It’s making Sunday a day of rest, worship, and celebration (not necessarily a big party but an interior sense of festivity and gratitude for the gift of life and for each other).
Because it is important and actually part of the Commandment of observing the Lord’s Day to rest, I really encourage everyone to take this seriously. Here are some concrete ways to rest:
If you have lots of kids you probably do have to do a load or two of laundry, but do the minimum. Don’t use this day to catch up on laundry.The week can be busy — don’t use Sunday to address bills.Kids have sports — mine did and I get it. Don’t do practices on Sunday mornings.Don’t shop on Sundays (other than for an emergency). Everyone has the need, duty, and right to rest on Sunday. If there is a demand for retail on this day of rest, there will be a supply. If there is no demand, we can go back to allowing those less well off to have the minimum necessary for human flourishing — a day of rest, where each person is something other than a cog in the machinery.Even though, as I said, I’m a major proponent of knowing what is for dinner and doing what is necessary to make it happen, I am begging you not to make Sunday the day you prep all your week’s meals, as a staggering number of advice-givers suggest.
The influencers say this because presumably their audience works all week, so they are responding to a perceived need to make Sunday the catch-up day to prepare for Monday and more work, but it doesn’t take a PhD in human development to see how detrimental such a regime is to well being is.
I get many emails with Auntie Leila questions, and at the bottom of it all is the need to have time to think, to reflect, to put things in perspective. This time is the Sunday.
Practically speaking, I suggest scheduling your big meal of the week for Sunday — make a big roast or pot of braised pork or something else hearty that you can prep the day before or quickly in the morning. You will have to do some work, but think beforehand so it’s as simple and nice as possible — and so that you can rest a bit too.
A great benefit is the meals that will plan themselves when you do this, because if you have a ham on Sunday you will then have at least 4 ham meals ready to go when you need them, ditto turkey and pot roast, but it’s not the primary reason.
Of course, all this means making the whole week a preparation for Sunday, if we are to truly rest. So this is a big Resolution.
Try it — you will be amazed at how not only that one day changes for you, but your whole outlook on life. You will gain a new perspective and be enlightened about where the path is and how to follow it. God will send His blessings!
liturgical living
St. Hilary of Poitiers, Bishop and Doctor.
Heads up! Candlemas approaches… My sense is that when I have a good supply of candles and they are blessed, I use them more. Candles make the home feel much more cozy and warm. I highly recommend using them, especially on the family dinner table!
It’s a good use of household money to buy them in bulk and have them all year. And get them blessed!
I’m ordering my candles and you might wish to as well, for the blessing! I’ve ordered a big batch of beeswax tapers from these nuns (Rosie recommended, and Bridget recommends the votives as well). And I ordered these (in ivory, for my slightly smaller diameter candlesticks) and these and these for my Christmas decorations that take candles — these Amazon ones are affiliate links, thanks for using them!
I may have recommended these at some point — I hope not. Don’t buy them, they are terrible! This year I am going back to these (affiliate link).
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post Kitchen Updates and The Best Possible New Year’s Resolution appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
January 6, 2024
GIVEAWAY! Do you need a beautiful planner for the new year?
A blessed Epiphany to you!
I am still considering myself on break here, mostly because my time is totally taken up with the continual organization/cleaning/restoring of the kitchen! Next week I hope to be back here with all the usual conversations, corners, and links.
Right now, I have a giveaway to offer you of a lovely Catholic planner … keep reading!
And I will give you all the details of the new space, I promise! I don’t think I will be able to help myself, to tell you the truth. The total newness of everything is not my usual vibe, which is Use Up, Wear Out, Make Do, Do Without, but at the same time, the necessity of it all has caused a lot of thinking in this old brain, and who am I not to spill it all out here, with you?
For now, here is a little taste of how it’s looking.
Okay, the planner!
You know the beautiful liturgical art calendars you have been enjoying for a while now? These planners use the same art!
They are beautiful. The Fiat Traditional Catholic Planner is described this way:
It is the daily planner you’ve long had on your wish list. The creators of The Illustrated Liturgical Year calendars have designed this traditional planner with beautiful illustrations for every feast, large paintings for each month’s dedication, a prayer of the month, Scripture verses, and quotes from the saints. Your handy weekly planner has just met the beauty and richness of the liturgical year!
For all the details, go here.
It has what I want, which is a spiral binding, sturdy covers, nice paper, monthly tabs, the week at a glance, monthly calendars… along with beautiful art throughout, and liturgical information too (according to the 1962 traditional Catholic liturgical calendar).
(I would rather have Scripture than the “inspirational quotes” found in most planners, which sort of ruin them in my opinion… )
I haven’t had a chance to apply my tabs yet! But I wanted to share with you!
It comes in two sizes. I like the smaller one because I do pop it into my bag occasionally. I could see the bigger one being useful if you wanted it on the desk (both versions have a pocket page in the back, something I require, being an inveterate grabber of little scraps of paper and keeper of prayer cards etc).
I appreciate having the liturgical calendar right there with my day-to-day planning.
Right now, Sophia Institute Press is offering 20% off your order. (You will see the offer when you go to the home page.)
When the giveaway is over, I will be offering a discount code as well.
To enter for a chance to win the planner of your choice, simply leave a comment here with your preference and I will choose a winner at random next week!
As you make your plans (with a planner?) and resolutions, here is an older post from the archives with some of my thoughts about how to understand and direct your energy: An Epiphany Thought: Overstimulation
And here is a short meditation on the Epiphany from Dom Prosper Guéranger, apostle of the liturgical year: Epiphany Meditation
follow us everywhere! share us with your friends!
Here is my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the page loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded. If not, don’t worry one bit!
My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!
My “random thoughts no pictures” blog, Happy Despite Them — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing!
My podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) — be sure to check out the other offerings there!
Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen:
Consider subscribing to this blog by email.
We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.
Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)
The boards of the others: Rosie’s Pinterest. Sukie’s Pinterest. Deirdre’s Pinterest. Habou’s Pinterest
The post GIVEAWAY! Do you need a beautiful planner for the new year? appeared first on Like Mother, Like Daughter.
![[image error]](https://i0.wp.com/likemotherlikedaughter.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/IMG_7083-scaled.jpg?ssl=1){kind=link}