Leila Marie Lawler's Blog

Phonics, yes, and enchantment too!

 

Homeschool (or really any sort of school) Corner

A quick reminder that phonics instruction is very important. You need to give your child the tools to figure things out. It takes some work on everyone’s part (some children more than others) and there are different strategies; the great thing about homeschooling is that you can create a curriculum by choosing amongst helpful methods for the exact child in question.

Some learn intuitively, but still need orderly instruction to prepare them for challenges later, when the material is more complex. Some struggle, and for them, patience will pay off, including patience with the proper development, physical and emotional. It’s not a bad thing to wait a bit.

For both kinds of learner, for everyone, do not forget the importance of keeping the goal in mind, which is to be able to delight in reading!

What good is breaking the code if the message is lame, uninspiring, flat, or just results in more instruction (possibly disguised as stories, but fake)?

From the very youngest age, provide the best in literature. Don’t be distracted by shiny objects out there. Be a good curator of your library. Keep the literary junk food away.

Unfortunately, the ability to write for children is almost lost. You have to go to the old books, with few exceptions; but don’t worry, there is plenty there to enchant your child enough to create in him the determination to power through the hard bits of learning.

 

The best plan, apart from phonics, is the old one, as I’ve been telling you here, from the beginning:

Nursery rhymes, folk songs, and folk tales for the very youngFairy tales, poetry, and satisfying stories about ordinary life for the new readerAdventures for the more experiencedReading aloud at all stages

Go here for my lists; get my book for Volume 2, Education; search the blog and go here for books in the Library Project to give you the idea of what to look for.

Knitting Corner

I’m working on a little set for my new granddaughter, Kate.

I am a slow and mistake-prone knitter. By now you know not to expect a lot of production from me!

 

Hence, the unblocked Antler Cardigan, for which I have not yet chosen buttons… and the beginnings, only, of the Little Turtle Knits Pilot Cap, which will soon be even less because I left one increase out early on and need to go back. But you get the idea…

I’m using Berroco Vintage, which is 52% acrylic, 40% wool, and 8% nylon. I had needed to buy some yarn for this project, and the store I was in at the crucial moment simply did not have any pure wool in any sort of color for a baby girl!

I had promised myself I would not buy acrylic… I think, though, this is a good compromise for the needed ease of laundering in this case. The yarn has good reviews and I am hoping for the best. It’s a bit prone to splitting but overall I think it feels fairly nice and I am trusting in the nylon to keep the acrylic in shape. It is a lot to ask of a mom with an infant and toddler to hand wash garments for them!

As promised, some photos of my finished Sunday Cardigan. I thought you might like to see it with the clasps on. 

I’m not sure they are placed right. They tend to come apart easily. I might move them so the button bands overlap, after all.

 

 

I would like to try a more constructed sweater next. Even though I did put in some short rows at the back of the neck, the seamless way it’s made causes a droopiness on the shoulders that annoys me somewhat. However, it is a cozy, woolly, warm sensation to put it on! So I am glad I made it.

 

Hall Project Update Corner

Maybe I already told you about this, but it’s a little thing that makes me happy. These big doors never had handles on them (maybe once upon a time they did, but not in our era). They are for shutting off the window area in winter — a sort of old-fashioned insulation strategy.

 

But of course, once I closed the doors, it was hard to open them without handles! And a window was cracked, and the doors needed adjusting — they stuck (making it even more difficult if anyone actually pushed them in all the way, something I dreaded happening).

The floor guy replaced the broken window and adjusted the doors on their hinges so they close smoothly. He installed the handles too!

 

I found the handles on eBay. Most solid brass antique handles were in the $400 range. These were $71 with shipping. You can see that they were a hidden treasure:

 

 

But I knew:

They will patina with time, as all brass does. A bit of a polish will get them gleaming again! I think their somewhat battered appearance fits with the overall aesthetic we have going on here!

 

bits & piecesIt’s so important to talk of our guardian angels to our children, and to pray for their guidance and teach our children to rely on them. I enjoyed this article about them.

 

A nice little post about the real “Skeldale House,” Thirsk, home of James Herriot of All Creatures Great and Small. 

 

“Capturing the Culture” by Cynthia Grenier: “Why is the television and motion picture industry—which once sent the American dream around the world and made it, literally, the dream of the world—so hostile to that dream now and so out of touch with the values that made it possible?”

 

Another article about the consequences to our world view of our entertainment: “Friends” and Its Consequences Have Been a Disaster for the Human Race. The shows we watch can take their toll and we might even need to detox from their premise.from the archivesBaby sleep, church behavior, and more10 reasons to sing with your childrenPraying the Rosary as a family

 

liturgical living

St. Francis of Assisi

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

Knitting Win! and Phase III: Hallway light fixture

A note about coming weeks: Since I’ll be in Dallas next week and in October, Minnesota — and I hope to see you at one or the other event! — expect interruptions!

Remember, I don’t monetize this blog; it’s not a business, it’s just me popping in to chat. I love doing it and feel pretty rotten when I can’t! But I don’t have minions to make things work (where are they). It’s just little old me! And I am getting older, too…

I do have things to tell you!

Knitting Corner

So for one thing, I won first prize at the fair in the next town for my Sunday Cardigan!

As you will recall, I won second prize last year and my friend won first.

 

Of course, we were the only two entrants. But this year — this year!! —

… I was the only one.

I am almost done with a pair of socks and have gotten a good start on a baby sweater for little Kate. It’s the Antler cardigan and I hope to make a bonnet to match.

 

Hallway Corner

I got the yarn when I went to meet up with my friend, who kindly collected the light fixture I found to go in my hall, completing (well, not quite, but mostly) the Great Hall Project of this year.

Here’s a “before”of the fixture that was there — you can hardly see it, sorry:

 

Here’s the new one (looking in the other direction — there’s no light in here):

 

 

It was a Facebook Marketplace find — a reproduction of a fixture from the Winterthur Museum line. Do you know about Winterthur? No one around here has heard of it, but it’s a really beautiful estate, garden, and library. I learned about it when I lived in Washington, D.C — it’s in Delaware.

The original (reproduction) fixture is $1200. I got this mine for $150 (after a quick negotiation down from $190). It had one little crystal drop that needed replacing ($10).

By the way, I have a little series on The School for Housewives about finding things on FBMP. 

My friend, Auntie Sue, is closer to the seller than I am, so she got it for me and we met up at a yarn store; then we went out to brunch. The two of us are frugality veterans from the homeschooling/loads of kids/not much income wars, so for us this was a grand morning out — yarn and Eggs Benedict! We don’t see each other very often, after I moved an hour away, though we talk and text all the time.

My electrician finally came and installed it, and I am really loving it.

I still need a few rugs for some parts of the hall, upstairs and down, but I can be patient. They will turn up. For now, it feels done!

I don’t know if you’ve priced any light fixtures recently, but they are really expensive! This one I liked most is $960 on Ebay ($1600 new)!

 

And a really blah one at Home Depot is over $100, so I feel like I did pretty well! The hall needed something a bit fancy, I think.

I did need to replace the old one; the glass is cracked and it only has one bulb. Since the hall doesn’t get any direct sunlight (never mind at night), I just needed a fixture with more bulbs.

It’s funny — it didn’t even occur to me until one of the girls mentioned it! If you go here to the Hallway Update Phase II, about the upstairs,  you will see something else I find easy to overlook! Can you spot it?

I can’t keep up.

 

bits & pieces

For me, sleeping with my babies was something I discovered early on. I dutifully put my first baby in the crib (in our room) and got up to nurse him — and even had a wonderful husband who was more than willing to get him and bring him to me so I didn’t actually have to get up but could sit up in bed or in the rocking chair. It was exhausting.

And then one night I just… lay down with him, and that was that.

Blissful sleep.

I know that there are reasons (not the usual drugs-and-alcohol reasons — I won’t even talk about that, because good parents don’t get high or drunk — but “my husband is 6’6″ 240lbs and conks out” reasons), but usually, there really are not, other than the relentless propaganda against it. This article is really good if you need studies and observation from a professional to detox: Co-sleeping: On Infant Sleep And Safety: A Bedsharing Origin Story From a Midwife and Mom by Ann Ledbetter.

 I actually really hate that normal things have to be hedged round like that, but I get where we are now with medical tyranny and total loss of cultural wisdom, which to her credit, the author supplies. I will say that she doesn’t address the much more complicated Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) reality that is now emerging, as people connect the dots with vaccines. But what she does say ought to reassure any mother. “Just do what comes naturally,” my mother would say, and I have to agree.

It’s Time for More Christian Civilization, Not Less: the Danger of Paul Kingsnorth’s Ortho-Romanticism: Civilization is the only thing that stands between us and a Hobbesian state of nature by Emily Finlay. A smart piece about the dangers of forgetting what real civilization is.

 

In our podcast, Phil and I talked a little about going to a lecture at Thomas More College last week. The topic was Ida Friederike Görres and it was delivered by Jennifer S. Bryson, her translator. We enjoyed it very much. You can read about this German intellectual and author of the last century here: Ida Friederike Görres: A Forgotten Catholic Rediscovered

 

From the archives:

Church behavior for kids isn’t something for once every seven days. 

Don’t forget about your own little prayer corner! 

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

The pantry tour and lots of links! Get your tea and follow me!

 

Every so often I like to give you a pantry tour.

I like seeing others’ pantries, especially the old-fashioned ones. I think my first foray into the world of YouTube was watching real homemakers’ pantry tours!

So this is going to be a lot of pictures of seemingly undifferentiated shelves full of stuff, but in the words of P. G. Wodehouse, if you like that sort of thing, then that’s the sort of thing you like! And I’m here for you.

 

 

 

I’m going to try to orient you so it’s all a little less jumbled.

If you need to know where in the kitchen you are, go here.

My active cooking area is to the left and back, so the pantry is some steps away.

 

Here you are going a little closer, past the back stairs…

 

 

 

I found that old folding ruler amongst my late father-in-law’s things and just decided to put it up here. And you see my new shelf, up high there above the metal shelves:

 

 

 

Cute little vintage shelf with potatoes, onions, and garlic (this is last year’s garlic; this year’s is out in the garage still!):

 

 

 

Full disclosure: there is not a ton of food in here.

It’s just the two of us. And I haven’t gone shopping for real in a while. So there aren’t many potatoes etc. I understand if you’re running a big household and think, “Well, I have a lot more food!” But just know, this was my pantry all those busy, populated years and my sewing machine and fabric stash were in here too! Click for a really old post with how it was!

I made room for the “apothecary” —  my herbal remedies, some from the garden, yard, and lane, and some boughten:

 

 

The wine racks are from an Aldi special some months ago. They are really perfect as they are super space saving (hexagons for the win! the bees know!) and stack. We call this the “wine cellar”!

Again, haven’t stocked up recently in this department, but when we do, there is room for 14 bottles right here!

On the bottom rack are extra clean towels and rags in the basket. Also cloth napkins. The active supply is in the main part of the kitchen. You know, if there’s a big spill, it’s really handy to have an old, absorbent towel nearby so you don’t have to use your good ones. And I have so many good ones right now that I have this extra stash here.

On the high shelf are some jars…

 

 

 

 

I suddenly wanted the jars to be stepped back, so I grabbed the three cooling racks I have that sort of have stands and stack. I don’t use them very often, so I don’t mind putting them here for now. If it looks wonky, it’s because it is wonky…

 

 

I have some staples in these buckets. Wheat berries, flour, rice, sugar. I like to buy those in bulk:

 

 

 

I like having the microwave in here. But I think I would like to replace it with an air-fryer or some sort of combo, as we often do not need to heat up even our smaller oven! Yes, I need three ovens, I guess…

 

The empty buckets, as well as the “second bucket full of wheat berries” or what have you, are stowed here next to the fridge. The doors to the fridge and freezer have to be able to open all the way, or you can’t get into them, so the fridge cannot be shoved into the corner, as I would dearly love to do. Refrigerators are so annoying!

Pay no attention to the electrical situation here… the fridge’s outlet was installed by the electrician, no worries haha…

This is my second fridge. I used to have a second one out in the garage and this was my main one. It’s actually a very good appliance, but being normal depth, stuck way out into the kitchen in a paralyzing way.

I was so happy to bring it into the pantry. I hated going out to the garage for extra things, and anyway, in winter, modern fridges stop working! So what’s in them freezes while what’s in their freezers thaw… I now just have my deep freezer out there, and it is rated for garage use.

 

 

To the right of the fridge I have moved my cookbooks and miscellany:

 

 

I like having a little line to dry ziplock bags on. We shouldn’t throw away a ziplock that has just been used to store bread. Rinse it out and hang it up!

The window is such a nice feature of this pantry. Like all my windows, it’s big; it really did not have to extend so low, you know? I could have a cabinet there, under it… oh well, I appreciate the light and the airflow.

 

 

That wooden box just happens to fit very nicely on the shelf and contains my stash of incandescent bulbs (partial).Back when the regulations to restrict them came out, I began hoarding. Some are upstairs…

 

 

 

My stash of “special” jars… distinct from all the other jars here and the ones out in the garage. You know what I mean… there are a few Mason jars in there just because of previous disorder, but most are funny sizes and shapes.

 

 

 

Bags, because one does not just recycle a paper bag, particularly one with handles… and then cleaning things need to be hung up, but lacking a broom closet, I have to find places for these things in here. If you go back up a couple of pics, you will see the dust mop on a nail to the left of the window. These things are not necessary for me to access every day, so they are tucked back here.

Jars on the lowest shelf and on the floor here in boxes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things over here are my “shopping area” — pasta, dried fruits, honey, canned and dried beans, spices to replenish my active supply by the stove, and so on.

 

 

 

 

The wooden boxes, below, have tea things and some random tins, sorry, this is not a good picture!

 

 

There is a rack there on the wall for dirty rags, towels, and dishcloths so they can dry before being put in the hamper — and my broom is on a nail! Highly recommend for greater housewife satisfaction — get your broom off the floor!

Circling back around:

 

 

 

Okay, we can go back to the kitchen now… this is the “active pantry” cupboard, plus I have drawers over here for baking supplies and bread and chips.

 

 

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Hope you enjoyed the tour!

 

bits & pieces

 

Holly Hickman interviewed me on the topic of minimalism (I think by now you know which side I’m on, but you might enjoy it!).

 

A lengthy essays on the life, work, and faith of George MacDonald, a true spiritual father for so many of us. The Mythic Vision of George MacDonald by Robin Mark Phillips. MacDonald “showed the beauty of the Christian story, articulating a vision of re-enchantment that was as counter-cultural in his day as in our own. He aimed to show, not simply that the Christian story is true, but that it is attractive.”

 

I loved this “underground” history of fry bread — something you find at the fair and maybe make at home? 

 

I liked this article (and feel like we’ve talked about these things before? It’s good to think about time!): In defense of interstitial time: How to grow life in the in-between moments

 

I really loved this article about the masculinity crisis in the Church. I get the question a lot: I read what you say for women, but what can my husband read, about manhood? Maybe ask him what he thinks of this!

 

from the archivesThree Features in My House You Can Have Too

 

On teaching a foreign language to your child

 

Your Child Can Talk Less

 

How to talk to your child about scary news

 

liturgical living

St. John Chrysostom

Tomorrow is the Exaltation of the Holy Cross

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

A new grandchild! I’ll be near Dallas and the Twin Cities! A good reason to make those menus! and more!

I can’t do the pantry tour this week — I will try to figure out how to do it next week, I hope!

This week I want to introduce you to grandbaby #22! 

 

Welcome, little Katherine (Kate)! She has lots of hair and spunk!

Those of you who remember the old days around here probably still think of my Will as a teenager but no, he’s a grown man with a wife and two children!

(I am less excited — not about posting about my darling grandchildren — but about posting about the babies, because, well, the internet is insane. But I have permission to share this news with you! Isn’t she a love?)

God is good!

 

Kitting Corner

I finished my Sunday Cardigan and now it needs to be blocked. I am looking forward to putting the clasps on and showing you how it came out! This is a pretty easy knit, I must say, and I just love the yarn, though in the real dog days I did not want to work on it.

I haven’t been able to find a reasonable (i.e. not small) bottle of Eucalan wool soap (so expensive), but realized I had this specialty pet shampoo left from Roxie days. I had gotten it for cheap at HomeGoods but hadn’t used much (Roxie did not love to take a bath! I do miss her.)

I figure if it’s extra enough for dog owners to pamper their pets with, it should be good for blocking my sweater, right?

 

I was lucky enough to get some sweaters’ quantity of yarn from the store nearby when they were having their closing sale. I jumped in on the early 20% off on the theory that if I waited, I wouldn’t get the yarn I wanted in the amounts needed. (Don’t worry, I went again at the end and scored some single skeins and needles at deep discounts. I now have quite the deep stash!)

I believe I got ten skeins of this yarn and used six of them on the cardigan, to this very last drop:

 

I had to frog this swatch — one of the three I made. I was very close, finishing the sleeves, and did want to make them extra long but did not want to break into another skein to finish.

 

 

I’ll go into my tweaks to this pattern when I show you how it looks completely done (and not just soaking in a sink!), but I wanted you to rejoice with me over this yarn efficiency.

 

 

“Do the Minimum” Corner

As always, I urge you have your first inclination when confronting a major managerial challenge, such as the start of the school year, be to plan your menus. You can do what needs to be done if you have your menus planned and your laundry in process.

Knowing what is for dinner frees your mind!

 

But there’s more to taking time to make menus: doing so makes of you a competent cook.

I have had some emails from ladies who feel they are not great at cooking and are seeking advice. Well, one bit of advice is to view your menu-making as a self-guided course for culinary competence.

Just as with any other skill, you must learn with a certain system in mind. You need the methods and skills, but with something practical like making dinner, you also just need experience.

If you make stew every week for six weeks, paying attention to the guidance found in the recipe i.e. thinking about it, you will learn how to make stew. You will be able to make it without having to look it up, and what’s more, you will figure out how to make it more French, Italian, Greek, or any other flavor profile. And at that point, your stew-making ability will become “intuitive” — meaning, it will be something you understand from the inside and can replicate at will.

If you are heading into this season with a vague sense that you’re not that great of a cook, try making your menus on a tight rotation and set yourself the goal of mastering the fundamentals. Some of those are browning meat and braising it (and knowing which cuts benefit from that treatment); making a white sauce and all its variations (roux-based gravies for instance); making a good broth; roasting vegetables. You do not need recipes for these things but you do need to learn methods.

Every year vast quantities of cookbooks are published, but the homemaker needs a couple of really basic ones so she can learn her skills.

In the box is my light fixture, awaiting installation in the hall…

 

I recommend these basic books — and here is my Amazon affiliate link in case you want to use it — you certainly don’t have to, but it saves me from linking to each book!

Maybe get one of them now if you don’t have any, and then keep your eye out at book sales for the others:

These two have chapters or sections that teach you the basic recipe and then show you the variations:

The Joy of Cooking by Irma S Rombauer and Marion Rombauer Becker (I like the 1975 version)

Mastering the Art of French Cooking (2 volume set) or The Way to Cook by Julia Child

The America’s Test Kitchen Cook’s Illustrated cookbooks came out after I became proficient, but I know many love them for the reasons I’m mentioning here.

This one has good basic recipes with clear instructions — they always turn out well:

The All New Good Housekeeping Cook Book (I like the 2001 edition, but it comes in all sorts of versions, some of which have a lot of illustrations)

 

These cookbooks differ from others in that they teach you the basics; they reward reading and studying as opposed to the other kind that have good recipes but don’t give you the techniques. With the latter sort, I find I might like and keep in my favorites one or two recipes. But the ones I list here I find I go back to over and over for fundamental processes and information. Honestly, I find it tiring to follow recipes just to make dinner! There is a better way.

If you want to become an intuitive cook, start by making your menus. Use a basic cookbook to establish a rotation on which you can build a foundation. Challenge yourself to learn the techniques and methods, versus just following recipes!

 

A heads up on my travels — for some reason people want me to give them talks even though it’s just me, the person who is here to tell you one simple thing: “If I can do it, so can you” and also “I didn’t quite do it but here’s what I alone am left to tell you”:

On September 26th I’ll be at Mater Dei Parish in Irving, Texas. The topic is Raising Children in the Faith and I hope to see my Dallas/Ft. Worth/Irving people there!

On October 11th I will be in Crosby, Minnesota and I hope to see my Twin Cities ladies!! Get your questions ready! I’ll give a talk and then after lunch we will have a Q&A about all things Summa Domestica!

 

Hope to see you there!

 

bits & piecesI hope you will give this interview a listen: Brooke Taylor has a wonderful conversation with Professor Ryan Topping (a friend from Thomas More College days who is now back in his native Canada) on the subject of Renewing Catholic Culture. Prof. Topping has a lot of encouragement for families and both he and Brooke serve up a stimulating half-hour that will inspire you for sure. (The interview starts at the halfway point.)

 

Last week I posted about mental health screening for children. Relatedly, and as promised in the comments, here are a couple of articles about ADHD and the over diagnosis of autism spectrum: That’s not autism: It’s simply a brainy, introverted boy; and . I was going to link to this substack article about ADHD and ritalin: The Agenda Behind ADHD and the Truth About What Ritalin Is. When I first read it, it was not behind a paywall and now it is. If this is an urgent matter for your family, it might be worth subscribing (there’s a 7-day free trial). I didn’t have a chance at the time to do more than skim it, so I can’t vouch for it, but I thought it was interesting enough to bookmark.

 

David Clayton on Reflecting the Hierarchy of Being in Visual Art

 

I recommend this book: No More Tears: The Dark Secrets of Johnson & Johnson (affiliate link). You can probably get it at the library — it’s written by a New York Times journalist and published by Random House. It’s not fringey. But every chapter is a revelation about how the largest drug company in the world manipulated and continues to manipulate perception of its products for profit and to the detriment of people’s health and even lives. I take issue with the last chapter for reasons I explain at the end of this podcast episode, and I don’t necessarily take every claim made by the author without a grain of salt, but the cumulative effect of the whole is without a doubt to make me question everything.

 

liturgical living

Sts. Felix and Adauctus; St. Fiacre

 

from the archives

Homeschooling ramblings

Here is some more on cookbooks I found helpful when I was learning!

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

Phase II of the hallway makeover; the jars are fairly organized; lots of links!

Now I will reveal my hall makeover and accept my award! Yes, it happened. Go here for befores!

 

Well, here is a quick before:

 

 

I got rid of my at-least-27-year-old-but-more-likely-50 wall to wall carpet, thanks to wonderful encouragement from my daughter-in-law Natasha. I had the floors refinished, and installed a runner on the stairs and carpet in the back area, chosen from among all the possibilities with the confident assurance of my other daughter-in-law Jaime.

This past week the guy did the back hall:

(The light is tricky — it’s all the same color on the walls, Matisse Gold it’s called, have no fear.)

My daughters Rosie, Suki, Deirdre, and Bridget all lent their advice and moral support as well.

My husband Phil gritted his teeth as I lied about it being a one-day job and good news, we are still married (and celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary on the 11th!)

My friends Sue, Margaret (who pointed me to the carpet company and whose husband John gave me the excellent if not immediately heeded advice to “just decide”), and the ladies of the St. Clare’s Guild (meeting over here for Knit Night) held my hands and wiped my brow. Shoutout to FBMP and to my friend Stephanie who told me to look at the antique shop a couple of towns over for one of the oriental runners.

I would like to thank the Academy good Lord, because without this support network and without the excellent actual workmen who sanded, sealed, painted, and carpeted, and told me “think positive” when I worried about what would be under it all, I would still be in decorating purgatory.

 

 

Here is a quick before (go here for more):

 

After (yes that is a chin-up bar there — do you have one in your house somewhere?):

 

This is how the back stairs look now:

 

 

(Don’t look too closely by those balusters — I know they need a deep cleaning around where the carpet was!)

This is the view from the kitchen, into which they lead (now the paint needs to be touched up, but this is so much nicer!):

 

I’m happy the carpet is bright and cheery! I’m happy the stair runner doesn’t compete with the wood and orientals in the front hall. It is the same neutral as the trim. I love that it’s all wool (I think the old one was too; otherwise it would not have lasted so long!). And I love the refinished old floors.

 

 

All I have to do now is replace the light fixture in the downstairs hall. I got a new-to-me nice one on FBMP and I hope to show you next week!

 

Taming the Jar Situation Corner

I have dreams of this kind of pantry…

or even this…

 

But I have this and I am quite content with it!

 

 

The Chief installed a new shelf for me in the pantry — that one up there.

Thus, I was able to rearrange things (would you even know it was me if I wasn’t rearranging the pantry!) and am now feeling better about being able to see my remedies, which had been in a jumble on the other side, in the mostly dark. They are now here on this metal shelf:

 

And my on-deck jars (vs. the ones out in the garage) are on the new shelf and I will show you where else, below.

I have the big jars here plus the peanut-butter ones which I like to store active pantry items in, in the kitchen pantry cupboard.

 

 

Lots of extras on the floor tucked under these shelves, plus just above:

 

And “special” ones in that wicker basket, you know what I mean by “special”:

 

You can also get a glimpse of the rings on wire hangers, hanging from the end of the shelf there by the window.

Let me know if you want more of a tour of the pantry. This is by far my most interesting room haha! And if I have to take more pictures, I will just have to make it nicer.

bits & piecesIf you would like your well read high schooler to study Just War theory, may I recommend my husband’s seminar (based on the seminar he has offered at Thomas More College), now on Substack? 

 

What Fifty Years of No-Fault Divorce Has Gotten Us (here is an archived version if you don’t subscribe)

 

There are those who reject the thought of John Henry Newman as Modernist. They are quite wrong! 

 

Beware Universal Mental Health Screening [for children]!

 

Infant bottle-feeding and obstructive sleep apnoea: what sleep medicine won’t tell you

 

from the archivesFeeling angry at life?A Pep Talk about Time

 

liturgical living

St. Rose of Lima

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

Getting organized, perpetually! Pantry edition

I have some updates in the thrifting department and also, relatedly, the Great Hallway Renovation, but they will have to wait, I guess.

Today I need to get organized.

Will I get organized?

Well, if the previous 65+ years’ worth of days are any indication…

No.

However, one must try!

 

I have to organize the pantry because it’s slowing me down and making me crazy.

Here’s how it looked in April, barely hanging on to some semblance of tidiness, but not really:

 

I now have a lot of dried herbs, tinctures, and other remedies (more on that below) and they were moderately organized before my kitchen renovation.

They are now not at all easy to access, in part because after the renovation, I repurposed a key element that was keeping things collected. I put it over in the tea area and haven’t found a replacement, either there or for the herbs.

 

 

It’s that wooden shelf that fits a certain kind of special flip-top ball jar perfectly, but also needed to be here (in this current mess, the mess, hopefully, before the tidiness).

Basically I need several of those little shelves and a few really big ones.

The rest of the remedies are on the big racks in the pantry, and thus can’t be accessed easily — I have to rummage through them all instead of having them alphabetized and out where I can see them.

The jar situation itself is out of control. Once you become a jar person, your life is essentially over. I’ll try to explain!

First, besides your remedies, all your canning and freezing things go in jars. So you need a lot of new jars, and then you need to put the preserves somewhere, and then you use them and have empty jars. Where do you put those??

Not to mention the jars that specialty jams and olives come in, which of course are too precious to recycle. Who among us can part with an unusual, cute jar? Keep in mind that honey doesn’t need special processing, so any adorable jar will do.

Where to store them, though.

Next, there are all the lids. You need new lids handy in case you suddenly process a batch of pickles — can’t be running to the store. (You can also reuse pristine, non-bent lids from before — yes, you can — but they also have to be stored). If you happen upon lids on clearance after canning season, you have to pick them up. But then you have to find a place for them.

 

Mason jars now have lots of useful specialty lids and it’s easy to get pulled into that world. Some of my favorites (I have found them at Walmart but you can order them too): plastic lids (affiliate link) not for canning, but they do seal; fermentation lids; drinking lids, and oh so many other sorts.

And of course, sourdough starter, a lot of leftovers, yogurt, kefir, and berries can be stored in mason jars.

 

So the whole jar thing is the key here to getting to the bottom of what is going on. Today I need to get the good boxes from the garage and send some jars out there. Hopefully that will free up space in the pantry.

Another pantry issue is my cookbooks, my paper bag collection (vying with the jars for high keeping-to-recycling ratio, I mean, when you need a certain paper bag you need it and who throws away the ones with handles), and containers too large to store in the container drawer in the kitchen.

And I just need to get rid of some things I do not use!

I’ve been searching high and low for the right shelf for right here:

 

…but am coming to the conclusion that I need to reorganize some shelf in some another room to free that up until such time as the perfect one shows up. Maybe my remedies can then be here where the light is good.

But you see how that plan involves making a mess in an entirely unrelated area of the house…

… and my freezers definitely need attention as well. Do not freezers become a hopeless jumble? (Even granted I do have a system of sorts— it’s the fridge freezers that are so difficult, I find.) I prefer having things in jars but somehow ziplocks get used and those are just so jumble-producing, instantly.

Thoughts and prayers.

 

NB: If you are gearing up for school planning, I do encourage you to devote a few hours to organizing your pantry and freezer(s). I’m not trying to drag you into my insanity, but just noting that being able to make meals peacefully, without excessive rummaging and reaching over seldom-used items to get what you need, is a huge boon to the rest of life. It will be time well spent.

 

Knitting Corner

I am almost done with my Sunday Cardigan (but no more done than I was last time I checked in) and have acquired these darling closures for it.

 

The button band on this sweater is so thick that I early on decided I would prefer these clasps. It wasn’t easy to choose, but I think I will like these.

 

 

 

I got super bogged down in the heel portion of these socks, which is annoying because this project was supposed to be mindless. Once again, this is looking too big, but I am powering on through.

 

Herbal Remedy Corner

I have a lot of questions about learning about herbs because I mentioned it in my last post.

I can’t go too deep into it right now, but I want to say that once you realize the regular medications are not actually helping (as with UTIs, very often, or with allergies, or so many things), the iron enters your soul and you try to find other ways.

Especially for us women with our hormonal challenges, I would say conventional medicine is letting us down. The time when your kids are getting to be teenagers is the most acute in this regard! We need help just to stay on an even keel!

I know it seems random and frustrating and maybe even futile to get information, but you’ll figure it out. I’m working on it! I find two approaches, as a beginner, helpful.

One approach is to start with an herb, spice, or oil (such as tea-tree oil) you have heard is good for something. Look that item up and see what you can find out about it, especially how it works in general, i.e. is it anti-inflammatory, is it good for your lungs, and so on.

So for instance, dandelion and comfrey have a deep tap-root and thus pull up lots of minerals that are found deep in the ground. Your body may need these minerals. As you read about them here and there, you will understand and they will seem less random.

The other way is to start with the ailment (let’s say a persistent cough) and look up the herb that would be good for it. Now is a good time to do this, because things are growing now! January will be harder. And you don’t want to be paying a lot of money for something like mullein or goldenrod, which are literally weeds that you will see just growing in most places.

In fact, go ahead and harvest those common plants right now, as well as plantain, wild lettuce, and comfrey. Look them up and look up their “look-alikes” too, for comparison — you will soon be able to spot them confidently. Bring them in, spread them on a clean towel, let them dry under a fan or in your dehydrator (I got mine at a yard sale for $5). Crumble them into jars (see above) when they are very dry, and label the jar. Store out of direct sunlight.

The day will come when you will pull out what you need, make a tea or compress, and feel better!

I liked this conversation posted by Homesteading Family. It really changed my perspective a lot. At one point Caroline talks about how people take a supplement one time, or drink some chamomile tea, and think herbs don’t work, but when you grow them (or, I would add, start to see them out in the wild and bring home large bunches), you use them differently and that helps you understand how they really work.

Doc Jones has some very important things to say about understanding how the plant works so you can apply it to a given situation. I found his observations go beyond what you usually read and hear.

This way of doing things is a different way of thinking. It’s bringing home something that doctors and pharmacists used to do; up until more recently than you think, these remedies were normal parts of medicine. Now they let the drug company sell things through them (not all, but most). They are good at fixing you up when you’ve had trauma — thank goodness for the ER when you’ve been in a car accident! And for other emergencies. I’m all for doctors (but less for our current system).

But for the 90+% of just nursing care medical issues most of us have, a lot of knowledge has been lost. I guess we have to think for ourselves!

Some resources:

Here’s how to make tinctures — it’s really easy — much easier than, say, canning. You just have to have glycerin (which you can buy at the pharmacy) or high-proof vodka, which is how I do it.

Many sites are trying to sell their supplements. So you have to look up actual studies as well. It’s not hard, though. Start by searching something like “goldenrod remedy studies.”

St. Hildegard’s Garden gives you an overview of how God has provided remedies in the world, with St. Hildegard as the insightful, faith-filled guide who systematized common, ancient knowledge.

Deirdre likes this book: Be Your Own Doctor by Rachel Weaver M.H (affiliate link)

These two books have good information in them: The Lost Book of Herbal Remedies by Claude Davis and The Country Almanac of Home Remedies: Time-Tested & Almost Forgotten Wisdom for Treating Hundreds of Common Ailments, Aches & Pains Quickly and Naturally by Brigitte Mars and Chrystle Fiedler (affiliate links)

 

If you start now, you will be surprised how much you learn in just a few months!

Okay, off to organize!

bits & piecesA bit more on the medicinal properties of dandelions: Dandelion root extract affects colorectal cancer proliferation and survival through the activation of multiple death signalling pathways

 

Study: 9 in 10 Cradle Catholics Leaving the Church; Experts Urge Stronger Faith Community

 

Suzanne Venker: 5 money mistakes women make before they become mothers . Variations on things I’ve been saying for so long! Note, by the way, that living frugally helps so much with her third point. When consumerism and, not to put too fine a point on it, shopping, become a way of life, life becomes full of discontent. As Chesterton said, “Thrift is the really romantic thing; economy is more romantic than extravagance…”

 

Make sure your pediatrician isn’t using a growth chart that compares your breastfed child with a set of formula-fed children.

 

I’ve shared about the Fairfield Carmelites before. Here is an article that collects the links and films about what they are doing and has some lovely photos and reflections as well. Besides the spiritual inspiration of knowing about these dedicated contemplatives, I find them very inspiring when I’m thinking about my own very un-cloistered way of life and how I want it to be.

 

John Henry Newman, Newest Doctor of the Church

 

from the archivesNine Hospitality Thoughts

 

In case you would like to see the pantry as it has been — it changes all the time but here’s one tour from a couple of years ago! (Keep in mind that the necessary angle of the lens makes it look bigger than it is. Still, it is rather large.)

 

liturgical living

St. Stephen of Hungary

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

 

Ask Auntie Leila: Will I break if I have more children?

This is a composite Ask Auntie Leila, sparked by some of my emails and by two comments on my latest post on The School for Housewives.

The gist of the question is I Am Getting Older and It All Seems Like a Lot.

Mom A: I have [a lot of] kids, ages [teens to baby], and with homeschooling sometimes I feel like I am utterly unable to meet all the needs… and in a sense I am and always will be… but I confess sometimes it makes me fear the addition of more needs.

Mom B: I’m barely hanging on. I’ve just been having that exact intense fear. But also the thought of never having another baby breaks my heart.

With a dash of

Mom C: “what if I really am too old [by this she means near or just over 40, but I have friends who had babies after 45]”

and

Mom D: “I’m pregnant, and at a recent consult, I was (naively) surprised at how much the doctor harped on my age. They want to do so many scans just because of my age, no risk factors, not even considering my personal health history! I think our medical culture loves to scare women away from having babies past 35. Where or what is the pushback against this?”

 

Let’s go through these worries, because there’s no question about it: Wrangling teens, toddlers, babies, homeschooling, trying to keep the house clean, making healthy meals, having a good family culture (which of course means the joy of lessons, practices, pets/farm animals, hospitality), and overseeing everyone’s spiritual life too — this is without a doubt A Lot.

 

 

No one woman can do it. And yet, you will!

As always, Auntie Leila does not even pretend to have the answers for you. But I do have a few basic notions that help you find answers for yourself and hopefully help you be peaceful even as things are rather insane.

The whole blog here, my books (see sidebar), my Substack — it’s all meant to say you can make it through if your priorities are straight.

If it seems like I’m telegraphing them here, it’s because I already have eleventy ten thousand words written about them but it’s always good to have the outline.

 

Keep Sunday holy. All these comments are seeking wisdom. Wisdom is ultimately from God and if we desire it, we must do what God says in order to hear His voice. The most fundamental command in this regard is to keep His day holy. If we make Sunday the focus of everything we do, we will have that one chance to rest, worship, and celebrate, and in that repose, as we lift our eyes, we can receive what it is that He wants to tell us. If we’re always so busy and every hour is filled with “to-dos,” we won’t know which way to go.

Know this is also a stage. What I call that second decade of parenthood, when the kids are busy and have their own ideas about things, brings a new developmental stage. However, this stage resembles the one when everyone was under the age of 5 and you thought your life was going to be one endless slog through diapers, sleeplessness, and the vast irrationality of very mobile toddlers, in that it looks different now but it’s still… a developmental stage. You will get through it just as you did the other! In fact, there will come a day when things are preternaturally quiet…

Curtail your activities. Just as back then you learned you wouldn’t be doing the things you did when you first got married or were single, now you learn it might be a good idea, for instance, not to stay out so late with your gals at the book club that the next day you are in for it.

In this era, I found that being home in the hours before dinner was essential to my well being. Back when my kids were little I thought nothing of a late-afternoon activity, but in the teen years, I saw the value of the peace of returning to home base. If I had an errand or place I had to be between 3 and 5pm, I made sure to have the dishwasher run and supper well organized.

And we all need some quiet time.

 

 

Which brings me to: Know What Is for Dinner. Make your menus. I will gently insist that an insouciant “I don’t really plan” attitude can actually be wearing you down.

Yes, you really do have to do laundry. Now more than ever.

But you can get them all to help more. Set expectations by setting a timer — everyone pitching in under time pressure works wonders. Put chores on a board where they can be seen. Lie down with the words, “I don’t know how X will get done, I have to lie down; if only I had some little brownies or fairies to help me” and watch X get done. (Yet another reason to be sure to read fairy tales to your children!)

They can help more if they aren’t over-scheduled. Only you and your husband can address this busyness of our culture. But home is where “we’re all in this together;” firm conviction in this area is worth a lot to their future sense of responsibility and creativity.

 

 

If God sends you a new baby (and he might not, so why worry?), the moms of many who had babies later in life want you to know that the baby is the fun part! In fact, the baby keeps you young, gives the 9-year-old something to do, and is the answer to that teen who is starting to be disaffected or that 12-year-old who seems so self-absorbed.

You actually know how to take care of a baby! Your teen will remember what you did and take that memory to his own family later on. He will also be healed of a lot of his angst (if angsty he be) when he, perhaps subconsciously, thinks, “They loved me this same way.”

Regarding the pressure from doctors: They are just reciting a script, one dictated by the exigencies of our medical system, in which they are incentivized to avoid litigation by all the invasive methods, and they too are likely weighed down by general baby resistance in the culture.

Do your own research (e.g. into ultrasounds, tests, glucose drinks, and so on), always seeking the most natural ways to do things. It is true that as we get older, the process becomes  Remember that you can just refuse to do things; it helps to be ready to use that maturity they are focusing on to deflect and resist.

I pray that every mom find a good midwife, preferably one who will come to your home and even deliver the baby there. That is the pushback: restoring the role of the midwife.

But if you are stuck with that sort of relentless pressure, do your best and hang in there. God has a plan!

Find good friends. “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9) And be a good friend. Let’s encourage one another!

Honestly, do your children have your marriage, a roof over their heads, food, clothing, books, and a way to get outside? Do they go to church? Then — done and done! Take the rest of the day off!

{Instead of me linking all my posts, feel free to search the blog with the key word, like “dinner” or “laundry”. You will find everything! Every detail!}

{In case you’re wondering about Phase II of the hallway makeover, I am awaiting the installation of the carpet in the back hall/back stairs. I will keep you posted!}

bits & piecesMy husband, Phil Lawler, is starting a Just War Theory seminar on his Substack. You might be interested, your husband might be interested, and your high school upperclassman might find it stimulating to “attend” a college-level course on the subject!

 

Glimpse into the cloister: Monastic Silence

 

Thinking about your home school? Here is an introduction to Charlotte Mason from Ambleside, the site I always recommend. It’s important to develop your own thoughts on education, nourished by wide reading; there is a lot of food for thought in this one essay.

 

The other day I found myself saying that I think Charlotte Mason systematized, in her own way and without, of course, knowing him, as he was born in the year she died, the educational thought of John Senior, a brilliant man who did not systematize. We can talk about that another time! (Now I wonder if Senior had ever heard of Mason!)

 

from the archivesAffirmation in the thick of thingsVision for your family

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

 

 

Phase I of the hallway makeover! Befores and getting theres

 

 

Get ready.

This is just Part I.

Spoiler:

You know how there are some things you just live with for decades because they are so overwhelming and expensive to fix that you just can’t deal, plus even if you could, you have no idea how to go about it, and it’s working okay, and there are bigger fish to fry?

Just me?

Well, my dear daughter-in-law Natasha gave me a lot of encouragement to tackle something that was definitely in that category, however idiosyncratic my state denial had been. “It will be fun!” she said.

Said situation is my vast amounts of hallway and two sets of stairs, all carpeted in this manner — front hall, front stairs, upstairs hall, back hall, back stairs:

 

Quite difficult to photograph as there just isn’t much light in this hallway.

 

This is upstairs:

 

Oh, it looks not horrible in the photo. But we moved here 26 years ago and it wasn’t… new… then.

Turn around and it goes on and on and on:

 

We had other wall-to-wall carpeting in the house. Deirdre’s bedroom was one and the den was another. Just to give all of you with lots of kids hope, I will tell you that said kids can, if motivated, do stuff. Deirdre at age 12 pulled up 400 sq. ft. of lavender-purple carpeting in one square foot at a time, yanked out all the nails and staples, sanded, and painted the floor. By herself.

A passel of teenage boys handled the den, getting it to a place where it could at least be painted.

So there was that!

But the hall… it was too much. All my manpower had moved on long ago. I’m too old for this!

But I bit the bullet. What I really wanted in my heart of hearts was to have the floor refinished — I was hoping there would be wide pine underneath. Some preliminary pulling up of corners showed there was some (painted that same gray we have elsewhere, namely in our bedroom) but also a whole section that had some sort of linoleum over plywood over … ?

I could just re-carpet everything, a possibility that paralyzed me (acres of carpeting! how would I ever choose?). But once you take out the carpet, you have to move on it. Too much dirt and too many sharp objects to have sitting around.

 

I just couldn’t go there.

One floor guy, experienced in old houses, told me in his gruff Massachusetts accent: “You gotta think positive!”

I consulted with a knowledgeable friend, saying, “I just need to stop thinking I have to know how to do it; they know how to do it, right?”

“Yes!” he dutifully and helpfully replied, “they will handle it.”

The floor guy I went with told me he often keeps the antique flooring he’s removed in houses where the owners just want new. “I can repair yours if I find it’s needed.”

Okay!

 

They were amazingly efficient. Then the painters came in and touched up the floor boards and painted the stair risers.

Here’s how those looked, yikes:

 

So… it’s rustic. These are 160-year-old pine floors! But I love how it turned out!

 

I will continue to update you. The back will be carpeted and I need a runner for these stairs. I also need a new light fixture here. This one isn’t bright enough and is cracked, anyway.

 

 

So far I have found three good handmade orientals in good condition; two from Facebook Marketplace and one from a nearby antiques store. They were all very good prices. I will fill you in on those later — one of them is at the cleaners because it had some weird dust in it that was not good. (The others were already cleaned.)

Here’s a snap of it:

 

 

I need a few more! Hard to believe, I know. We are just talking about that much area.

By the way, if you are contemplating some sort of renovation, I recommend starting with a Pinterest board. You can see my hallway one here. Pin pictures you find elsewhere rather than searching for things straightaway on Pinterest. That way you avoid the AI nonsense.

I promise I will try to get you better photos! But what do you think??

 

bits & piecesMcCrery, Architects of Catholic Beauty, chosen to renovate the White HouseJohn Henry Newman: Newest Doctor of the ChurchAstronomy and Liturgy: the Symbolic Meanings of the Date of EasterA Garden Enclosed: the Fairfield Carmelites

 

You kind readers often ask me for tips about being a mother-in-law and grandmother, and I just don’t know what to say. I am a real work in progress over here. But I liked this little article: 5 Tips for being a saintly grandmother

 

from the archives

Math goals 

Books for your voracious reader

 

liturgical living

Lots of saints today! 

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

Don’t panic about teaching your child to write!

Well, hello!

First we were on vacation, and then I sat down to do a post and couldn’t get into the site!

But now I’m back!

By now you’re probably thinking about the coming school year, so even though I have some “doings” around here to talk to you about, I want to address the looming, anxiety-producing, overwhelming topic of How to Teach Your Child to Write.

Of course, I have already gone on and on about this. If you are new here, you might not realize! I have a whole series about reading and writing and it’s all organized, enhanced, and presented in my book, The Summa Domestica (volume 2).

A topic like this one — which is really about the culmination of education itself, the ability to express one’s thought — takes time and pondering. Far from dreading the subject as of a terrible chore, we should be seeing it as the culmination of all our efforts, the synthesis, the crown.

 

But let me bring up a few things right now — as we appreciate the above photo, showing how my knitting project matches my knitting project bag perfectly!!

A child, in order to attain the skill of writing, simply must have something to say.

He must at least begin to have a mind familiar with the art of ordering things properly.

This takes time and cannot be shoved into a program.

One has to have something to say before one can write effectively.

Meanwhile, there is a world of wonder for your student to absorb.

As to methods, it was a revelation to me to read the handbook for teachers of the fine school where first our Rosie was hired to teach (Bridget teaches there now). In their well arranged curriculum, they have as their goal first, to write a good sentence in 7th grade. Let that sink in as you collect your thoughts for the upcoming season.

The following year, in that school the goal is to write a good paragraph. Not until actual high school do they settle down to expect competent longer forms, and teach methods to bring them about! {This timeline is edited from what I said before, about it all being in high school, but it’s important to realize that your curriculum demanding the synthesis of various sources into a coherent piece of writing in 5th grade is bonkers.}

And what do we mean by essays? I fear that today’s curriculum peddlers mean “a five-paragraph essay suitable for the English AP”!

But is that, ought it to be, our goal? The essays we enjoy reading do not conform to this model. Yes, sometimes it’s important to be able to convey a point succinctly. A five-paragraph essay can sometimes be that vehicle. It is one form and by no means the best one.

I truly recommend setting realistic, personalized goals as a means for uncovering what we truly desire for our children and for knowing how to get there. Sounds simplistic but makes all the difference.

The goal for the student we are sending out into the world (perhaps to higher education, but not necessarily) is to express himself clearly and appropriately, including with the exact amount of delight he would wish to convey.

In other words, he needs skills, but also not to be subjected to any sort of Dickensian methods of mental extraction. As Dickens says of one of his characters, a tutor: if he had “learnt a little less, how infinitely better he might have taught much more!”

Our method for the young child is to guide him to observe and imitate how ideas are expressed by competent and gifted writers.

Also he must learn the actual mechanics of holding a pencil or pen and producing legible script in a flowing, easy manner! How overlooked this subject of handwriting is, and yet how important!

The goal for the student ultimately learning to write has parts: First, as I say, to identify and write a good sentence. Trust me when I say this is a goal for the entire year — until it is mastered. The same goes for a paragraph. It is not unreasonable to set it as a goal for the freshman, so let your poor sixth grader have a reprieve.

Now, it’s true — some young people just have a facility for writing. Let’s affirm it where we find it and put our energy into honing their tools — grammar, usage, imitation, memorization. Ignore their output entirely, except to appreciate it (and find some way to store the best of it).

There is a lot more to be said, but maybe I can shore up your confidence by reminding you that those making you anxious have something to sell. Marketing requires creating demand. It’s in the interests of those selling programs to convince you that your ever-younger child needs their product.

But… he does not.

He needs to read and to be read to. He needs to imitate. He needs to have facility in oral expression, which is why Charlotte Mason puts so much emphasis on what she calls narration. (Here is the reason I am opposed to the seemingly helpful curriculum of the Voyages type. You are simply killing your 4th, 5th, and 6th grader by making him write out “reading comprehension” exercises — ever, much less every day.)

He needs to be encouraged to write when the inspiration seizes him with abundant notebooks, paper, good writing instruments, and old typewriters.

As the student gets older, he should read and appreciate good essays. The Ambleside site has excellent recommendations in their upper levels, but be prepared for the opening of your eyes. These are no pat exercises in formulaic regurgitation. They are the generous outpouring of ideas into the written word, offered with energy for the purpose of convincing and very often, for charming. I present to you as Exhibit A, Living with a Peacock, by Flannery O’Connor. I dare say she would be marked down by the Squeers and Gradgrinds of our day.

Stay strong in your convictions. Educationally speaking, it’s counterproductive to impose a structure retroactively. Writing well is a result of a mind full of ideas and imagination. Yes, writing as an exercise can sharpen thought, in due time.

 

 

Are there associated skills to be learned? Yes. For instance, where it applies, the subject of the sentences in a paragraph should tend to be the same. Should we teach this as a rule when the child is only beginning to experiment with putting thoughts on paper? Please, no! You’d be surprised how much easier it is to achieve the result when the student’s mind has encountered many and myriad examples of writing in which the paragraphs proceed in an orderly way, versus not paying attention until suddenly it’s required of him.

 

 

The main thing is to have confidence in the proper sequence of development. Don’t let the voices take away your peace. Impatience will not give good results! Set your goals, be serene.

 

 

bits & piecesPop music is worse than junk food: Rick Beato explains

 

Many good thoughts in this article: The Language of Holy Communion in Medieval England: Their eucharistic words teach us about their eucharistic faith

 

Peter Kwasniewski’s insightful three-part inquiry into taking children to the traditional Mass finishes up here, but be sure to read the other parts, linked within.

 

Here is a new website for searching for children’s books. “Search Good Books is basically one big archive of books that are good enough for children to read. Each book is chosen because it contains beauty in its images, its language and its concepts.” I haven’t perused it, but I am passing it along!

 

Brian Shepherd has written a good essay about the world view of Elon Musk. As usual, C. S. Lewis has provided the philosophical background for analysis. C.S. Lewis, Elon Musk, and #Occupy Malacandra

 

Speaking of properly ordered education, Sean Fitzpatrick writes, John Senior’s Star Is Rising

 

Still thinking about that couple at Coldplay? Leila Miller puts it into perspective.

 

Did you know that St. Thérèse of Lisieux made vestments?

 

from the archives

Teaching a child to read, Part I (well, looks like it’s part 3 but you know how I roll)

Teaching a child to write — just a taste of what I’ve written

In this talk, I explain the importance of the icon of the nursing baby — an image withheld from those in our society. (You can skip over the first part, which is about my conversion.)

 

liturgical living

Memorial of Saints Joachim and Anne, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary (St. Ann in the TLM calendar) 

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest

 

A bit of a break coming up! Saying bye to red carpet; sourdough Pullman loaves; links!

 

Family has started trickling in and I want to let you know that I’ll be taking a bit of a break for the next few weeks. So if you come over here to Like Mother, Like Daughter, I hope you will take the opportunity to poke around in the archives and even click on the disorganized, half-baked menus up at the top of the page.

As you can tell by now, we did our best to set up a blog, but have never monetized, so there aren’t big professional overhauls or anything. But all the posts are there! Consider it a ramble through some old junk or thrift shop!

A little problem I’m facing:

I’m going to be hampered going forward because my go-to app for saving articles on the fly is shutting down its free service. I have used Pocket to bring you my “bits & pieces” feature, and now it seems there really isn’t anything to help me do that. I have to figure out how to save the things I am reading in a readily accessible way. Thoughts and prayers…

 

House Doings Corner:

While we’re in Maine for our family reunion, the floor guys will come redo my hallways and stairs. Here’s a last look at the truly ancient carpeting upstairs (I love the wall color and trim, so that’s staying). Hopefully, my next post will show refinished old wide pine that’s lurking underneath:

 

 

See those big doors? They close off that area (nook? I don’t know what you call it) above our “real front door” (that we never use). This is how it looks from the outside:

 

 

This area is, I guess, for air circulation in summer and heat retention in winter. But there have never been handles on the doors, which makes them tricky to open if someone shoves them shut, and also maybe a little like something’s missing.

 

 

I decided to go on a hunt for good, pretty but not over the top, handles. I found these solid brass ones on Ebay for a fraction of the cost of any handles I could find anywhere else, new or old. Most ran $250 or more; these were $70 with shipping.

But they needed a little remedial work! I can do that!

 

I promise to update you when they are installed!

Sourdough Corner

To get ready for the fam, I have been baking. I’ve gotten better at the Pullman loaves as a matter of just doing it and not having to figure out the quantities every time.

 

I took out my baskets because I forgot I was doing sandwich bread! Was automatically getting ready to make regular sourdough loaves. Fortunately I remembered in time.

 

 

 

I cut the loaves in half to fit them into bags for the freezer. I love these loaf pans because every slice is a good slice; none are too small or too much heel. Every sandwich will be the same.

Here’s the recipe — I double it and more (as you know, I just eyeball relative to my Kitchenaid mixer bowl: once you have measured according to a recipe, you learn how it looks in your bowl and then you don’t have to measure much after that) and had enough for two loaves plus a batard in one of those baskets after all.

The main thing is to be SURE to let it rise fully in the bulk stage. Your dough needs to be nice and pouffy. And then all will be well going forward, measuring 1200 g for each pan and doing what you like with whatever is left over.

Here’s the link to the loaf pans (you get a set of 2 and it is an affiliate link). Know that your lids might not slide perfectly nicely, but I called the company and they told me to use pliers to adjust them and that worked great.

 

bits & piecesMy fave Instagram architect explaining how he researches the past of a house he’s restoring. Towards the end he gets to the importance of training your eye before you make choices. I would add: use Pinterest to save examples so you can study them. Make a board and then even add subcategories to your board so you can zoom in on details. Even if you have a new build, doing this helps you make good choices that go beyond whatever the big box store is serving up, or whatever the trends are.

 

Think carefully before you allow your child to play on a team that requires some sort of activist display. If you have college kids in sports, encourage them to talk about their issues with being made to display symbols they disagree with. This site has a “heroes gallery” and lots of thoughts about using sports to force speech and compliance.

 

The real gold standard of testing on vaccines is to compare the vaccinated with the unvaccinated in terms of health outcomes. This professor took it upon himself to study the question. 

 

The pilgrimage to Chartres looks like it was just amazing. What separates this event from “youth ministry” offerings, among liturgical issues, is that it the young people (and some older people as well) were going somewhere. A pilgrimage is quite different from a conference or rally. The object is to worship at a shrine.

Anyway, one video I watched showed scouts singing a wonderfully manly marching song, Le Kyrie des Gueux. The verses are sung in unison and the refrain is sung as a round, which gives a wonderful effect of harmony but isn’t difficult. Here is a translation of the words. If your boys listened and learned, they could do this in a week!

 

from the archivesMore on that topic of confidence, and more about bread tooA summer salad my kids loved growing up (one son was known to ask for it for his birthday dinner!)Books that every boy should hazard 

 

liturgical living

St. Aloysius Gonzaga (a true model for young people — in fact, their patron saint!)

Tomorrow is Corpus Christi

 

follow us everywhere!

Here is all the info:

Visit me at The School for Housewives and recommend it to your young friends!

My “random thoughts no pictures” blog,  Happy Despite Them  has moved over to Substack! — receive it by email if you like, or bookmark, so you don’t miss a thing! The old one is still up if you want to look at the comments on past posts. 

There you will find the weekly podcast done by Phil and me, called On the Home Front. Do let us know what you think!

My book, The Summa Domestica: Order and Wonder in Family Life is available from Sophia Press! Also in paperback now! All the thoughts from this blog collected into three volumes, beautifully presented with illustrations from Deirdre, an index in each volume, and ribbons!

I keep this site ad-free, but you can support me these ways:

Using my affiliate link to my Amazon page — the only affiliate thing that goes on here on LMLD, which is why the blog loads quickly and you don’t have to keep closing pop-ups etc! It opens up an Amazon tab and anything you purchase using that tab for 24 hours sends a bit over my way without cost to you. Thank you for opening it and shopping if you are so minded — as some have asked me. If not, don’t worry one bit.

Buying me a skein or two of yarn! (This will appear on your credit card as “Domus Enterprises” — please remember!)

Thank you!

Stay abreast of the posts here at LMLD, when they happen: Consider subscribing to this blog by email. We would love to pop into your inbox! The subscription box is on this page on the sidebar!

My old podcast, The Home Truths Society, can be found on the Restoration of Christian Culture website (and you can find it where you listen to such things) if you haven’t heard them.

We share pretty pictures: Auntie Leila’s Instagram, Rosie’s Instagram, Deirdre’s Instagram. Bridget’s Instagram.

Auntie Leila’s Twitter.

Auntie Leila’s Facebook (you can just follow)

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.

The boards of the others:  Rosie’s Pinterest.  Sukie’s Pinterest.  Deirdre’s Pinterest.  Habou’s Pinterest