R.M. Ridley's Blog, page 42

Coming Soon

This is the week.

The anthology, which continues to get good reviews, is to be released Thursday in paperback.

Thursday will also be the Fb release party.

Wednesday I have two guest blog posts that will be posted up…

and I am excited by it all.

Perhaps most exciting in the flurry is that I am writing again. I am producing an average of a thousand words a day and striding closer to the end of the third Jonathan Alvey novel, ‘Nine of Cups’.

The release of Jonathan, through this anthology, into the public for the first time is a great feeling for me – it does not however match the thrill of writing him.

I hope that readers out there everywhere grab a copy of this great collection of stories. I hope they fall  in love with Alvey. I hope I get a chance to share more of his adventures in the future. Mostly though, I hope I can continue to write him.

Filed under: Writing Tagged: amazon, anthology, book, current work in progress, Facebook, guest blog, novel, paranormal private investigator, publish, readers, reviews, short story, world building, writer, writing

Just an Update

So I haven’t had another ‘bad day’ since the last one I posted about. My cycle is still building but it is gradual and moving at the regular rate. My wife asked the other night if she should make an appointment for me to see your doctor but I declined. This cycle is nothing out of the ordinary really and I am on the maximum dosage of my pills that I’m allowed so there didn’t seem to be a point. I knew all I would get from him was ‘we can control it some but not cure it’. This is not a cavalier attitude, nor an uncaring one, that he takes. It is simply the truth. A truth which I have come to accept.

As happens most times when my cycle get going my Muse is back. It is as if the gods want to give me something in exchange for the curse. It seems a fair trade to me. I love when the story is filling my head and that world comes alive. And if it is an escape from the reality that is unpleasant, well so what?

I have yet to fix the truck, but that is because I’m waiting for the check to come in. I hope I don’t have any real problem replacing the vacuum pump but so far I have found working on my baby to be a pleasant experience (the only frustration comes in diagnosing, not in actual fixing).

I still need more wood to get through this season and, as always, I have put it off due to other things until it is almost too late. But as this year the temperature has stayed reasonable (cold but not bone numbing) we have yet to light the furnace which helps with estimated wood consumption.

I am, as much as can be, content today.

Filed under: Homesteading, Mental Health, MIscellaneous, Writing Tagged: Bi-polar, Brain, characters, crazy, cycle, f250, frustration, heat, medication, Mental Health, muse, plot, repairs, truck, wierd thoughts, wife, wood, wood burning furnace, world building

Shades and Shadows: A Paranormal AnthologyCOMING FOR HA...

Shades and Shadows: A Paranormal Anthology

COMING FOR HALLOWEEN, 2013

The Music Man: An ill-begotten ghost story and a child’s disappearance has haunted Peter Holt his entire life. His one wish: face his personal bogeyman and right a terrible wrong . . . and perhaps find the key to laying his childhood demon to rest.

China Doll: Nothing stays broken in Kris’ small town, but someone always pays the price. Kris must decide if she is willing to do so when her beloved doll is shattered, and discovers deep secrets about her family in the process.

Split Ends: The love between Frank and Bets has never been physical, as the entire town knows. But when Bets faces heartbreak and turns to Frank for comfort, their choices open up a whole new realm of possibility.

Child of the Underworld: Starving for love and affection, Lara escapes her mother’s bleak realm to feast on the light, color, and sound of the world “upstairs.” But only one thing sates her rapacious appetite—and threatens to banish her to the darkness forever.

The Cost of Custody: ( by me ) When a child goes missing, Jonathan Alvey, PI, knows none but he has the skills to rescue her. But, her estranged parents must come together to create the powerful magic to find her before it’s too late.

Tombstone:  Death couldn’t stop one old farmer from protecting his land from oilmen, timber-cutters, and his own family. But can he hold out against 21st century technology and a researcher who sees more than dollars and cents in his homestead?

Ghost Townies: Dean and Jimbo need two things to survive the ghost apocalypse: a bolt hole where no one has died, and batteries for their flashlights. Running skills and dumb luck have kept them alive thus far, but not all the evil is amongst the dead.

Crossroads: An unexpected road trip gives Rob Daniels a chance to escape the shackles that bind him. Can Nate, his down-and-out brother, save Rob from repeating Nate’s mistakes? Or will a stranded traveler tempt Rob down forbidden paths?

The Death of Dr. Marcus Wells: The young resident doubts his own sanity when he sees his dead fiancé in the night, but a mysterious stranger offers him clues not only to her disappearance but the gruesome murders which plague London, and the means to solve both mysteries.

Read reviews and/or buy the book on Amazon
Read reviews and/or buy the Kindle book


Reviews of Shades and Shadows on Library Thing
Reviews of Shakes and Shadows on Goodreads


Filed under: Writing

One Day at a Time – I Guess

So yesterday I vowed to myself that today I would go out and cut the wood in the yard into usable pieces for the furnace. Dressed in jeans when I woke up – had it in my mind. Sun is shining – looks like it will be a good day for it – don’t want to ind you but there it is.

I am cognizant enough to feel safe using the chainsaw today and it will add to the wood pile – plus, as one of the things that needs to be cut smaller is the felled apple tree (it died of natural causes I’m just putting all that good hard wood to use) which right now is a bramble of twisted branches – it will be good to get this done before the snow falls and makes this piles of wood into hidden pitfalls

Still – don’t really want to do it

But that is life isn’t it? Trying to overcome now for later.

Filed under: Writing

Racing the Clock

Vacuum pump on the truck needs replacing. This is an outlay of money that was not expected. It is more than I have right now, so it has to be deferred a week or so until the check comes in.

I need to go get more wood to be able to survive the winter (then chainsaw it into usable sizes) – can’t do that until I know the truck will brake properly – only so much time until it is unsafe for me to use the chainsaw. Focus is an important part of using a chainsaw I believe.

Do you see a cycle? Yeah, a big round and round with a digital read-out in the center slowly counting down.

Boom.

Filed under: Writing

Morpheus Mocks Me

I guess my ingratitude for the dreams I have been experiencing – those oh so vibrant, detailed, realistic, emotionally wrouhght, trips of stress – has finally pissed oh the god of sleep and dreams.

I am awake.

I am awake as though I had slept all the day and forgot those sweet pills of calm.

But is truth, mine medicine swallowed and the day keen in my reflection.

Tried the old release of the juniper berry in hopes it’s power would sooth the nerves and quiet the brain.

No luck had I.

So I sit hoping that soon – before dawn lifts her golden head, my bed calls me.

But hark? Was that a yawn?  Is this Dream, finally forgiven me?  ‘To sleep, perchance to dream-

ay, there’s the rub.’

Filed under: MIscellaneous

Another Day – Another… Well Another Day

I survived yesterday.

I admit after being out long enough to get food for the livestock, and some milk for me (damn, I drink too much milk for the price it is) that I needed a G&T to calm me down and get me settled. It was past noon, so that makes it all right… right?

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t seek escape from my own mind in alcohol often but sometimes there seems little other recourse. If I tried that avenue every time I was feeling overwhelmed by the noise in my head I’d be a stumbling drunk more than half the year.  As I’m no longer twenty, I can’t keep up that sort of behavior.

Today, I am doing better. Good – No, but better. Once the winter cycles start, better than yesterday is all I can ask for– and too often my requests are batted out of the air by the demons clawing around inside my head. Not literal demons, as I do not have that particular affliction, but there does dwell a darkness in me I am glad that the medication can keep in check.

Most of my horror stories come from this black dread that dwells with-in. I write them not to honour this side but much in the way a steam valve functions.

I have things that need to happen before I can sink into that state where I no longer battle for control on myself but seek constant distraction to keep the noise preoccupied. Unfortunately life does always get in the way.

I need to get more wood – for we heat our house with a wood burning furnace and the temperature is quickly dropping. Unfortunately the truck needs a new vacuum pump – the brakes rely on it – so I can’t go hauling a trailer loaded down with a logs if I can’t trust my brakes. Working on the truck, in the cold, as my mind slips gears and makes it hard to focus and remember what and why I was doing something – - well not my idea of fun.

Still, if not me than who?

I don’t write to be rich – but I confess a weakness. At times like these, I wish I were wealthy, so everything could be done for me and I could slip into sweet oblivion. Is this selfish, lazy, weak?  I don’t know. Doesn’t matter because rich I am not.

I shall survive today as well and tomorrow will bring what tomorrow brings.

Filed under: Homesteading, Mental Health, Writing Tagged: Bi-polar, Brain, brakes, crazy, cycle, darkness, demons, frustration, heat, heat with wood, medication, Mental Health, truck, winter, wood, wood furnace

Damn Good Thing -With a Catch

The other day I sat down and forced myself to write in the long put aside third novel involving protagonist Jonathan Alvey – Nine of Cups. I broke the barrier that was holding me back and since then have done over a thousand words a day (a good start but I’d like to double it).

Being back into the mindset of writing, being able to immerse myself in the world and ‘see’ the next scene is great. I love it more than anything and can’t, even as one who loves words, describe the peace and euphoria it bring me.

The catch?

Being able to do this is, all too often, a direct result of my mind going haywire. If I am in the middle of writing, and nothing stops me, I can write like a mad man even when I am not. But to start up, like this, usually means I am slipping cogs.

I wrote two good short stories while my brain was at its highest functioning state, not to mention some intense and creative edits for the anthology, so one does not rely on the other -  I don’t need to be insane to write and sometimes I am too insane to write (though rarely) – but it is another sign to add to the growing list of signs that my days of easy functioning are coming to a end.

I am lucky though. I have the escape, the release that writing bring – others are not so lucky. So at the end of the day – I count my words written as blessings granted and prepare for the next scene.

Filed under: Mental Health, Writing Tagged: anthology, Bi-polar, Brain, crazy, current work in progress, cycle, edits, Mental Health, muse, novel, paranormal private investigator, publish, scene, short story, survivors, Urban Fantasy, wierd thoughts, writing

In Truth…

To be honest, today is not a good day.

My Bi-polar is acting up and thus stirring up my Anti-social disorder as well – as it always does.

I have been cycling early this year. Normally my cycle starts in November but this year it started early October. Fine, not good mind you, but these things happen. After decades of this, you get to a point where you accept that the brain will not follow the usual course and occasionally knocks you about differently.

For almost the past two weeks, I have known when it it 7pm without looking at a clock. I take my medication at 9pm and, when I’m not cycling, I can forget and not notice for hours. The way I do notice, is that I try to go to sleep and my head is ‘noisier’ than normal and suddenly I slap my my hand to my head, call myself an idiot, and go take my pills.

However, these last couple of weeks, I know it is coming near pill time because my brain starts acting up. Confused thoughts, lack of focus, irritability, twitching fingers, easily distracted – all signs that the pills are no longer helping to control/suppress my brain’s faulty wiring.

I am also tired more – wanting to sleep in later, and later, no matter how early I go to bed. My dreams are gearing up as well. Never one for deep sleep or pleasant dreams the level of emotional distress is increasing in my nocturnal travels.

This morning over my first cup of coffee I realized I felt – at ten am – like I usually do at 7pm. Like my pills had worn off and I was due a new boost – only that boost won’t come until much later.

I don’t think this is a dramatic slip in my decline -not yet anyway. I think it just happens to be one of those days – a bad day.

I’ll get trough this day and hope tomorrow bring me a reprieve – at least for a few more days.

Filed under: Mental Health Tagged: Anti-social disorder, Bi-polar, blog for mental health, Brain, crazy, cycle, dreams, frustration, medication, Mental Health, sleep, wierd thoughts

The Coffee Prayer

Our Coffee, which art in our mugs,

Delicious be thy Name.

Thy Caffeine come.

Thy work be done in me,

As it is the morning.

Give us this day our daily fix.

And forgive them that drink decaf,

As we forgive them that brew it against us.

And lead us not into hyperness,

But deliver us from slumber.

For thine is the caffeine,

The power, and the glory,

For morning and night.

Amen.

-R. M. Ridley

Filed under: MIscellaneous Tagged: coffee