R.M. Ridley's Blog, page 37

To Winter, A Sincere Letter

Dearest Winter,

I am writing to you today in hopes that this missive finds you most unwell. I have been living with you company for what seems like many unrelenting years now and find I can take no more.

As you are well aware, my mental health is not of the greatest and your ceaseless blowing of bitterness and frosty behavior does nothing to bolster my failing health.

Your selfish actions are draining me of fuel reserves, and mental strength. I worry about the upcoming days, as I grow too mentally belittled to go forth and brave your continued cruel taunts to gather the simple necessities to sustain myself.

As you know all too well, my supplies for keeping your cold fingers from my flesh are dwindling rapidly. My ability to replenish these supplies dwindle just as fast. Soon you will have your victory over me. I hope that this brings you nothing but grief, as you have brought me nothing but grief.

Give my warmest regards to your three sisters, may they reign over you for all eternity, and know it is with the greatest of emotion that I wish they had strangled you in your crib.

Sincerely,

R. M. Ridley

Filed under: MIscellaneous Tagged: cold, heat, Mental Health, sisters, winter, wood

Sanity In Delusion

I am cycling into my other winter period of mental malaise. Concentration slipping some. Frustration mounting as my patience dissolves. Embers of irrational anger flare in the core of me. Dark thoughts dance with wild notions.

As usual, I find solace from it all in my own detailed delirium. Through my imaginary world and people who only exist in my mind, I find peace and defense against the onslaught.

‘Corrupted Souls’, the forth Jonathan Alvey novel, is progressing quite well. I am still writing it like no other novel I have written before, however. I jump from here to there, writing scenes in various chapters across the chronological span of it.

This is proving no difficulty in my ability to record and keep straight the plot. Probably I should be thanking the gods for my insanity. Confused and racing thoughts all my life have trained my brain to deal with it, to sort it out (as best it can) allowing me to write this novel all helter skelter.

It is my insanity that allows me the time to work at my writing. Because of my disability I have all the time I could want to chase down my Muse’s whispers. Yet, I find it hard to give thanks.

I don’t curse and rail against my condition. But I can’t quite give thanks for it either.

I am a survivor. I have found/been given/lucked out, on a escape from most of the things my mind does. It is creating a reality to which I can transport myself.

In the ‘real’ world taking to imaginary people and believing in impossible things is a sign of insanity. Luckily, since I already am, they just call me a writer.

Filed under: Mental Health, Writing Tagged: Bi-polar, Brain, characters, Corrupted Souls, crazy, current work in progress, cycle, frustration, Jonathan Alvey, Mental Health, muse, novel, paranormal private investigator, plot, survivors, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, wierd thoughts, world building, writer, writing

Daily Grind

I told you I would keep you updated on the whole ‘Getting to Print’ run – and I haven’t forgot. 

So far it involves looking at my chapters and breaking them down into scenes and filling in forms for editing team

There – you are updated. No – really. I have been doing this for a week, and it is getting easier as I learn the way to do it and fall into pattern.

I am also doing further edits on the original document to format and also to fix a few issues I knew would come up in edits. Figured I’d fix them now while I have time.

You see, editors work very hard, on many projects. I have six weeks scheduled to do all the content edits on my novel with my editor. SIX WEEKS FOR NEARLY 80,000 words.
Those six weeks haven’t started yet though. My content editor has to finish another project before she can turn her attention to me. This is fine, since it gives me the time to tackle the above stuff without heaps of stress. This in turn will allow me to go into the real edits without heaps of stress.

It works and will work.

It’s just not very exciting to blog about.

Filed under: Writing Tagged: current work in progress, editor, edits, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal private investigator, publish, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, writing, Xchyler Publishing

I was Lucky this Morning

Today I have to run errands – have to load the last of the cut wood into the truck and bring it home, plus I need to get food for the chicken, ducks, and geese from the feed store. This is going to cut into, and mess around with, my routine. I don’t like that but there is little to be done about it.

I thought I would skip the morning’s writing session so as not to cut into the preparations for getting ‘Tomorrow Wendell’ ready for print. I didn’t have any inspiration, no Muse fueled moment to record, anyway… at least I didn’t think so. But as I finished my second cup of coffee( and poured my third to take to my computer), I was suddenly brushed by the ghost of a scene.

I remembered that last night, as I lay in bed, my Muse had shown me a scene that progressed the plot and allowed me to include a character that I know should be included. But the scene itself was almost totally forgotten. I had blurry edges of it but no meat.

I should have written it down. I have two notebooks and a pen right there on my bedside table, as all good writers do.  But I was foolish, vain and full of pride. I thought for sure I would remember it.

So I was kicking myself as I sat down to write. I hoped against hope my Muse would forgive me my transgressions.

She did.

As I started to write the fringe of the scene I got more confident and allowed it to do its thing. Somehow this trust , this going with the groove, jarred lose the scene. I remembered just how well it worked and how creative my Muse allowed me to progress the plot and insert the character.

I haven’t wrote it all yet, but trust me – I have jotted it all done in note form. I still have less time today then I would like, so I cut the writing short. But I know the scene is waiting for me tomorrow to finish it.

I was lucky and must never commit such a cardinal sin against creativity again.

Filed under: Writing Tagged: Brain, characters, current work in progress, edits, heat, Jonathan Alvey, muse, novel, paranormal private investigator, plot, publish, scene, Tomorrow Wendell, truck, Urban Fantasy, wood, world building, writing

Pressure like a Vice

I’m trying to get my head into the right place to work on filling out chapter analysis forms for my publisher Xchyler Publishing.

These things break the chapters down into scenes, and the character arcs in them, and the plot points etc. It is an interesting, and often enlightening, thing to do as the author. As for an editor, I can only imagine how helpful it will be.

This work takes a certain mind state however. It is a focused and rather demanding task. It also can seem daunting in a novel with almost thirty chapters. I want to get it done, for the exercise of it, the fact that my editor wants me to, and because when I get it it done it is… well, done.

The problem I am having is that, apparently, I’m having a bad brain day. My thoughts are warped enough it actually feels like pressure crushing my head just behind my ears.

Yeah, fun.

Cycling up again or just a bad day? Don’t know – won’t know, really, until a few more days have passed and I can watch myself, as it were.

Whether it is cycle or not. It is frustrating me. I want to get some work done it. But frustration and anger are exactly what is bothering me today. I am in one of those short fused, snappy, don’t task me, moods.

Not the perfect state for the task. Yet, if I do nothing on them… well that too will bother, frustrate, and annoy me.

You see why I cal them cycles.

Filed under: Mental Health, Writing Tagged: antisocial, Bi-polar, Brain, crazy, current work in progress, cycle, frustration, Jonathan Alvey, Mental Health, novel, paranormal private investigator, publish, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, writing, Xchyler Publishing

Scientists smack down EU Commission

This is a bit long but it is a very good read if you have questions regarding the health and safety of e-cigarettes

Scientists smack down EU Commission

Filed under: Vaping Tagged: e-cigarette, e-fluid, health. nicotine, science

While There is Still Time . . .

I know there are two points in ‘Tomorrow Wendell’ that need changing, that I haven’t gotten to yet. I alerted my editor to their existence so that there would be no surprises to pop out suddenly and went on filling out the forms.

And yet…

It nagged at me.

One scene wouldn’t be too hard to rework. It was a simple, beginners mistake. I wrote a conversation and put the one person’s dialogue in the phonetic spelling to match their geographical accent. Big mistake that I didn’t do in any other novel. But I had yet to change it in this, the first of the series, and it really needs to happen.

The other issue is going to be a bit trickier.

I had arranged for one gun to fire special bullets (if you read my sort story in Shades and Shadows: A Paranormal Anthology, you know what I’m talking about). One day I was lucky enough to speak with someone with some knowledge of firearms and he set me straight on how it could work. Unfortunately, it meant switching around the style of gun used – and this affected the shots per load.

I was fortunate enough to have this talk before ‘The Cost of Custody’ was published and managed to make the changes in that story. I have written all subsequent passages using the new information but haven’t changes any old ones.

This needs to change in ‘Tomorrow Wendell’. It involves going through a number of chapters and changing, tweaking, and out right rewriting to set it right.

I have some time before we start on the content edits. I think I’ll use it to make these changes now while the pressure isn’t ‘on’ and we are not fighting a dead line. It seems the kindest way to go for everyone involved.

I’ve added it to the long ‘TO DO’ list sitting beside my keyboard that tracks all the events regarding getting the novel published.

I’ll have to squeeze it in around the other things on the list.

Meanwhile, I continue to try and write a thousand words a day in the fourth installment of the series. Writers are lazy in many ways – we hate to get up out of the chair – but we hate not working those words even more.

 

Filed under: Writing Tagged: anthology, characters, current work in progress, editor, edits, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal private investigator, plot, publish, short story, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, world building, writer, writing, Xchyler Publishing

Topsey Turvey

So the last few days my normally scheduled routine has got all messed up.

I haven’t been able , due to the complications of life (shakes fist at life then looks around nervously) to write first thing in the morning – do some social networking – then work on getting the required things done for the upcoming novel.

I have completed the form I have been posting about. Doesn’t mean my work is done – there are other things I can do to help get my team ready. Other information I can package and post to let them know my thoughts and hopes for ‘Tomorrow Wendell’.

All to soon the actual edits will begin, and I can’t lie – I’m looking forward to it.

But I want to be able to fa back into to ritual I created because it was working so well.

Maybe tomorrow.

Filed under: Writing Tagged: current work in progress, editor, edits, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal private investigator, publish, Tomorrow Wendell, writing, Xchyler Publishing

Just Keep Writing

The key to writing a novel is simple – Just Keep Writing It.

No matter how convoluted the order of the scenes I see, or what is skipped from one sitting to another, I just trust in my Muse and write.

This current novel, the fourth Jonathan Alvey, ‘Corrupted Souls’ started out all over. I had scenes from the beginning, the climax, and piece floating in the middle. They existed because I had seen them in my mind’s eye. I had ‘heard’ the words spoken, and understood the emotion of the moment. So I recorded them.

Now, some weeks later, those gaps are starting to fill in. I am writing a bit more in a logical chronological order. It does mean that some lines don’t work an more, once I write up to the pre-written segment but so what? Cut what doesn’t work and stitch them together properly.

Don’t be afraid to trust the story. Just go with what  you get. You release the creative power and worry about rough edges in the edits.

Not everyone can write this way, I know, but it seems to me too many people are afraid to trust the story itself.

Right now, as I am also working on getting ‘Tomorrow Wendell’ ready for publication, I have to train myself to grab a hold of the time set aside for writing. I must keep at it to get the story told. (I learned how hard it is to pick up a story after months away with the last one and don’t want that to happen with this one). So, when I sit down first thing to write, I don’t worry about whether it is the next scene – all I worry about is, am I capturing this scene.

Trusting the tale to sort itself out also helps overcome writers block. Instead of staring at that blinking cursor, trying to wiggle out that next word, look for the word that does want to come out – and let it. Put a * or @ between one section and the next to help keep them separate and just . . .

Keep Writing!

Filed under: Writing Tagged: Corrupted Souls, current work in progress, edits, Jonathan Alvey, muse, novel, paranormal private investigator, plot, publish, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, world building, writing

And as Predicted…

I am almost halfway through the ‘form’ I wrote of in the last post.

It has been just as challenging as I remembered. Forcing me to look at things anew. It is like when I read and really enjoying Hamlet and then the teacher starts in on the meanings, subplot, possible innuendos Shakespeare meant, and on, and on.

At first I was like ‘Leave it alone! It’s a story. Read it – enjoy it -simple’. But once I stopped fighting the dissection, I learned to enjoy it, to have fun with it, as many scholars do.

In a way it is no different than writing and editing. At first you don’t want to cut out the part that were great to write but really have to palace in the story. You don’t want to touch certain lines or dialogue because – well, you wrote it. But then, after practice, you see the creativity in edits as well. The fun in paring and playing. The way edits actually strengthen your writing.

This form does the same thing. It makes you see things differently. It makes you see the story as more than just your words. And awakens you to meaning you weren’t aware of.

It’s still a bitch to think of the ‘weakness’ in plot, character, climax – what have you. But sometimes when you do see it what might be a weakness it is an ‘AH HA!’ moment.

I saw an opportunity I never had before due to a ‘weakness’ question. A chance to maybe change up a whole scene – add a never thought of complication. Will I do it – will it happen? No idea. Honestly, no clue. But seeing the possibility was finding gold in a muddy stream.

I’m half way done – maybe a bit more – and I’ll be glad to get it done. Not because it’s a pain but because it will have opened my brain to be ready for change. Even if no one else reads my thoughts ,which is highly unlikely knowing the people over at Xchyler (which by the way – as I’m sure you’ve asked me and I just can’t hear – is pronounced Skyler) I’m glad I’m going through it.

Filed under: Writing Tagged: Brain, current work in progress, edits, hamlet, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal private investigator, plot, publish, story, Urban Fantasy, weakness, writing, Xchyler Publishing