R.M. Ridley's Blog, page 2

Bad Habits or Personal Style?

So I’ve been a nail biter for the majority of my life.

I’ve managed to not bite my nail for some extended periods of time but usually end up finger in mouth again. Right now, I have once more but aside this habit. I am maintaining my nails with clippers and file, and keeping the skin around them, smooth and tended to. I hope to make this the norm for the rest of my life – because… it’s a bad habit.

I used to smoke. Started late, at eighteen – no really, for most people that is late. Smoked for years, tried to quit but failed, failed, failed. I tried quitting because it was too expensive (back when it was a whole 6.50 a pack) – fail. I tried quitting because it was unhealthy – fail. I tried quitting because my brother-in-law had children…and succeeded. I didn’t want to be the uncle that smoked. However, I won’t lie – there was no way I would have stayed clean if it wasn’t for vaping (e-cig). Not smoking is good, because we all know (despite how much we may love it while we do it) that it is a bad habit, in so many ways.

Bad habits, the above. Worthy of the time and effort to quit.

Some people say not writing everyday is a bad habit.

There is a school of thought that says ‘Get so many words down a day. Even if they are rubbish, write them’. Is that a good habit…or is it personal style? I can’t produce words if my Muse is not whispering them to me. I am not the source of my stories. I can’t come up with much beyond, what if my protagonist didn’t like the colour orange?

But, when my Muse starts to caress my brain… Oh wow! The words form a miraculous torrent of imagery that spins down from my mind and out through  my fingers.

So what exactly does writing ‘It had been a bad day for Bob. He didn’t like the day he had had. Tomorrow Bob hoped would be more fun.’ or its equivalent, everyday, when ‘m not inspired? Especially when, if I wait, I can get. ‘It felt as though he walked down a giant dogs mouth. Robert’s cloths clung to him and the world reeked of garbage. This summer day might have looked idyllic from behind cool glass, but for those forced to live it, as he was, it was hell. Tomorrow, he reminded himself, it would all change tomorrow.”

Seems a straightforward answer there, right?

But… it has been months since I really wrote anything. In fact, that was probably the most I’ve writing that wasn’t in this blog for over a month. Would forcing myself to write sh*te drive my Muse so insane, she comes running to plug up the drivel and get real words on the page?

I used to write at night. Sit down at the computer around eleven, and go until a bit after one. But I was sleeping in until ten-thirty and my wife got up to deal with the menagerie of livestock at five-thirty, six. So we saw little of each other – she would stop doing whatever she was doing, just to join me for what was, my morning coffee. Eventually, I decided she needed to start waking me at nine, to mesh our lives a little closer. Now I don’t write at night, but I usually can get a good bit done in the morning – if I’m writing.

Staying up late and sleeping in – bad habit or personal style?

I don’t believe there is One Right Way or The Golden Approach to writing – or life. I do believe there are bad habits. I guess the trick is to truly examine yourself and daily routines and decide which is which.

Filed under: MIscellaneous, Vaping, Writing Tagged: Brain, coffee, current work in progress, E-cig, muse, paranormal, Urban Fantasy, vaping, White Dragon Black Series, wife, writing

‘Writer’ – from the Greek for Insecure

Yup – I’m sure the true etymology for the word writer goes back to a term meaning insecure.

I know my editor enjoys my stories. I know she looks forward to editing them. Yet I still find myself sitting at my desk, staring at the latest edits from her, and thinking, She didn’t leave one ‘lol’ comment in the entire chapter – nor did she write, ‘I love Alvey!’, is this novel not as good? Is she just not wanting to tell me it’s below par?

You could call this ‘second book syndrome’ but it’s not… well, not really. Is ‘second novel syndrome’ a thing?

I mean, I know that all artists go through the cycle – This is great – this is okay- what am I thinking – ah this is crap – I have no talent – well that part is all right – actually this is pretty good.

But really, we work so hard on each and every word, from the first writing to the final proof read – we question if it is good enough. If someone is reading our works, we both don’t dare disturb them but we loom, pace, and fret when there is no noticeable response from the reader.

I’m fairly confident when it comes to my White Dragon Black series. I know the world, I know the characters, and I’ve written enough now, to know I can portray that all in my writing. I even had a reviewer describe, in her review, how she saw my imaginary city of New Hades,

and it was just how I see it in my head. That kind of implies I’m getting down what I should be – and yet….

So yes – I like reviews, and praise, and hearing people talk about my book. I don’t want it for my own self gratitude, or sense of worth… I need it to beat back that beast that lumbers out of the darkness saying – ‘Sorry chap, you used all your talent up. All that’s left to you is a pathetic ability to bemoan your fate on an obscure blog. Now, shall I consume you feet first or  shall we start at the head first?’

Filed under: Writing Tagged: anthology, Blondes Books & Bourbon, cycle, editor, edits, insecurity, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal, paranormal private investigator, plot, readers, second book syndrome, short story, Tomorrow Wendell, White Dragon Black Series, world building, writer, writing, Xchyler Publishing

I Guess This is Why I Took the Job

I love doing Art & Science stuff in the Society of Creative Anachronism… perhaps I should say –  I love doing the A&S things that I love doing, in the SCA. The fields that come under the A&S arch are so many that arch would stretch for miles. I am trying to branch out and get more experience in more fields – the embroidery I’m tackling being the latest – but even if I lived to a hundred, I’d never get a chance to try them all.

Because the scope is so broad, and because the interests so varied, inevitable there are some fields that just are not as immediately understandable – or don’t have the ‘WoW!’ factor that say a shiny brooch does. Since the SCA is a social group, sure we are about research, creating, and many many other things, but there is a reason we meet and have events – it’s because we are a social club in most aspects. Otherwise, we would simply do it all online. So if you are going to and participating in this social club, and your thing is A&S ,and your A&S thing is obscure and hard to ‘hands on’ do during an event… who knows you are doing it? Who sees you working and sits down to talk about it? Who is your clique if everyone is embroidering and your interest is herbalism?

This is true of any social setting, church group, school, work , even home life. It can be very isolating to not have that group that nods and chatters excitedly. It sets you outside, even if you force yourself to participate in what others talking about. If you don’t like sports but everyone at work is talking of the game last night, you either watch the game to join in – even though you hate it – or you don’t join in and people stop inviting you to do things.

As Baronial officer, I have had this realization, I didn’t have when I was just doing my own projects. I could simply ignore the issue, as it’s not really my job to make sure everyone has a clique with-in the game. I could force everyone to stop and pay attention to the excluded one, but that doesn’t include them – it only further alienates them. What I can do, is listen. I can find common ground, and I can see if there is a connection in what they do to what others do, even if it’s not the same.

Stopping the feeling of isolation isn’t about forcing one group or another to interact, it about letting someone know that you are aware they are there and that their choices are valid and worth while. So I’m going to educate myself as much as I can. I’m going to interact as much as I can. Most importantly , I’m going to what is with-in my power to make sure people don’t get disappointed, and bitter, towards the thing they love – the A&S field of their choice. And hopefully that will help them stay active and happy in this social club. I can’t fix all the problems that individuals might perceive – but I can try to nudge the real issues out of the way some.

Filed under: SCA

With Trepidation She Sends Him Out

With Trepidation She Sends Him Out…

To the Grocery Store.

Yes, my wife is caught in a most brutal situation. Either she herself braves the world and interacts with people – or – she sends me, unsupervised, into a store. There is no win for her. Facing the rest of the world is not her idea of a good time, and doing grocery shopping is simply one of the worst places to do so. I, on the other hand, don’t mind – and almost enjoy – grocery shopping.

However…I admit my bipolar does come out some when shopping; nothing looks good or buy it all!

Plus there is the issue of trying to remember everything that she needs for ‘The List‘.

A task much easier done, by strolling the isles, and hoping anything you forgot leaps out at you. For me – everything leaps out. The issue is to ignore all but what is on the list. It is a challenge of self constraint and willpower. Each shopping trip usually includes at least one object that I rationalize being in the cart, despite it not being on the list, which then haunts me until I remove it form the cart on some other random shelf.

Grocery store clerks must hate me.

Filed under: Mental Health, MIscellaneous Tagged: bipolar, groceries, shopping, wife

Finally – An Event!

It has been simply too long since I’ve worn garb.

Tomorrow, we finally have an event again!

I feel somehow cheated that I’ve had to wait this long. We had Halloween, and Canadian Thanksgiving and all this just sort of got in the way of a regular schedule for events. Tomorrow we have Wassail to attend – and right here in our own Barony. This means more work and less ‘play’ but I’m the kind of guy who enjoys the ‘work’ in the play just as much, so that’s fine. Of course, it being in our own Barony doesn’t mean there isn’t a two and half hour drive to get there… but that’s just a standard to get to any event from our place.

The neat thing this time around about being in the SCA is that even when there are no events for a stretch, you don’t feel as cut off, alone, and bored. Facebook as really changed all that – and yes we really have been gone that long. With having all your friends, mentors, and complete strangers from the society on Fb every day, feels like a mini event, a revelry party, and a canton A&S night. All the people are still there, the discussions continue, advice is sought and given, and projects shown off. The difference being no garb is worn and there is a lot less pomp and ceremony.

So, as much as I have been grateful for social media picking up the slack…

it’s going to be great to be in garb again tomorrow.

Filed under: SCA Tagged: Arts & Sciences, Facebook, garb, Society for Creative Anachronism

Blade of Bonding

A while back we visited our Baron and Baroness at their home. The forge got stoked up and blade smithing happened – oops!

My wife was one of the group that got lured into the world of fiery coal, glowing metal, and the ringing of steel on steel.

She came away from it with a blade and a desire to do more.

She said I needed to guide her in completing the task. She was not satisfied with having smithed a blade but wanted to have the experience making a full knife. This was going to get into fields she hadn’t played in before, but I for one was not going to dissuade her.

Welcome to the dark side, baby!

She has done 98% of the work. I have shown her technique, I have directed her with words and diagrams, and I have made recommendations and told her ‘what I would do at this point’ – she did the actual making.

She cut, cleaned, and fit together the bronze for what would best be called the ‘bolster’. Then soldered it onto the blade – not the usual way but it helped secure a possible weak point in the blade.

She cut the purple heart and carved the handle into the right size and shape for proper function, while also forming it into a seahorse for visual appeal.

She went with epoxy for connecting blade to handle. Nothing wrong with that. The final edge was put on with a fine tooth file and then a sharpening stone. It cuts a raw potato – so I’d say that makes it a real paring knife!

I’m really proud of my lovely lady. 

Filed under: MIscellaneous, SCA Tagged: blade, bladesmith, forge, paring knife, wife

Keep Working

New edits arrived this morning for me.

For some, I realize this would be a thing wrought with stress and filled with dread.

I love it every time! So I get to do that today.

Also I have moved past one stage in making my toothpick pomander and can move on to another – setting the bezel. I understand the concept, and have done things like it…very like it. Yet I have never actually soldered a bevel ‘wall’ to a base and set the stone in it. To top it off, I am also going to have to attach this base to the door of the pomander using a pin/rivet concept instead of soldering it, because I’ll disturb the hinges if I res-older, and I just got that system working properly.

I started another small side project. I know, I know, I wasn’t going to do that, but my wife was talking about these weird dress hook things and she wants to be able to play with them to see if they do what she believes they are designed for. The only way to know is if she correct in her theorizing, is if she actually has some to play with so….

I am not spending too much time on either of these however. Today I really need to sit down and stab fabric with a small steel object, leaving a trail of colour behind.

I’m actually enjoying the embroidery – so far. This may change, but it is still new and it’s rather neat that stabbing a needle through the fabric in a certain manner produces a certain visual effect. Who knows – maybe I’ll be one of those people who actually enjoys embroidery and does it to relax. I suppose anything is possible – I mean it’s December 2nd and still balmy outside!

Filed under: Book Release, Jewelry, SCA, Writing Tagged: current work in progress, dress, edits, embroidery, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal, paranormal private investigator, pomander, toothpick, White Dragon Black Series, wife

And….I Just did Something Stupid

For some reason Chrome wasn’t automatically signing me into a google email account. This was seriously bothering me. I took the signed in name – deleted it – hoping that I could re-enter it and it would ask if I wanted the system to remember the password.

It warned my that if I did this I couldn’t undo it.

It didn’t warn me that all my bookmarks would be removed

Yeah easily a hundred bookmark from all scopes of interest… gone

I’ll be in the corner weeping and trying to remember the passwords for those sites I used to have in my bookmarks header bar. The rest – Fuck me.

Ah well, it’s one way to clean the clutter from your world…. in the same way a house fire might be

Filed under: Writing

And Then — The Anthology Shot Up the Ranks

I – like I’m sure every other indie author does – checks his ranking on Amazon and the reviews on Goodreads. Every two weeks or so I record the numbers to see how they compare to the quarterly sales numbers. Usually the correlation is pretty obvious. Every so often when checking you open the page to find your ranking has shot up. A little pay back for the social media work, and hopefully some word of mouth sales.

This morning was one of those mornings.

Boy was it. 

On the 21 of the month my anthology, Blondes, books, & Bourbon, was ranked just over the 1000 mark in the category of ‘Anthologies & Short Stories’ as well as ‘Magic Realism’. Today it is number 365 in’Anthologies & Short Stories’ and 384 in ‘Magic Realism’. That’s a big difference. Now Amazon’s ranking algorithm is not always the most…trustworthy. That’s why I check every day but only record the the number once every two weeks – unless there is a whooping big change. The fluctuations of a couple hundred don’t mean much – but this sort of change is usually indicative of something.

The anthology was very well received and got great reviews – especially for a collection of just my short stories after only one novel in that world, Tomorrow Wendell, having been released.

A lot of people have said that although they usually hate short stories – they liked Blondes, Books, & Bourbon, even better than the novel.[image error]Hopefully word of mouth really is getting out and about. It would be nice to have people actually, actively,  awaiting the release of the second novel, Bindings & Spines. Having fans is rather awesome… better really than the money.

Filed under: Publishing, Writing Tagged: amazon, anthology, Bindings & Spines, Blondes Books & Bourbon, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal, paranormal private investigator, publish, short story, Tomorrow Wendell, Urban Fantasy, White Dragon Black Series, world building, writer, Xchyler Publishing

And for Today… a Selection of Projects to Choose From

I have yet to manage to get back to writing. This saddens me… and, I admit, worries me a touch. It’s hard to be an author when you are not being a writer.

However, stressing over it won’t help get a single word word written, so I go with the flow.

I busy myself during the day, with the other projects I have taken on. I’m trying to narrow the number of items I am working down. More often than not, I have a half a dozen – or more – projects all ‘on the go’ to varying degrees. I have reached a point now though, where I want to get some major pieces wrapped up and done. There are a few reasons for this, the first being the sooner I clean my plate, the sooner I can add new challenges. One of these pieces has been ‘in the works’ for far too long and need to just be completed now. There is also the A&S competition in March that I would like to enter. I’d like to enter at the more advanced level, of five projects – all of a different type of art or science. So, with little time left to me, I need buckle down and finish those five different items.

I have one project left to wrap up that won’t be connected to the competition – a lapis lazuli and opalite rosary for my lady. I bought the beads back in the early summer, and then stalled. Then I wanted to get going on it but had the bright idea to make it pomander beads… that slowed me down again. Slowed as in almost full stop. I have managed to make one of the two  pomander beads that, well not as good as I’d like, will suffice. I have to complete the other bead, which means making tiny hinges and clasp, to hold the two sides together. But I have already started string the beads – making little wire connectors for each bead. It has to be done – SOON…

Because I have this to finish by March and it has a lot of work to go yet.

It is a pendant… pomander….toothpick. Yup, a toothpick hung from a chain, that has pretty smells coming from it. It has been designed to resemble a sea horse (my lady’s heraldry is sea horses so just about everything I make for her – or that she makes for herself- has sea horses on it.) I have ground a piece of amethyst, which will be set on the front of the ‘door’ over the pomander, into the shape of the sea horse stomach. Now I am hand sanding it, so it will eventually shine. I still need to perfect the hinge connection of the door, as well as a latching mechanism. Also, the whole thing will have ‘gems’ set into it. I will be making these gems by carefully cutting down coloured glass, shaping it, and polishing it. Then the gems will be placed in spaces slightly carved down into the metal body and the metal will be hand rolled over the edges to keep them in place. That is done with tiny repetitive moves, where one curls a minuscule layer of the metal up, and pushes it over outside edge. Pain staking effort -especially since one slip and the ‘gem’ is cracked or chipped- whose results are a securely held gem and a beautiful finish on the metal. Lots yet to do on this.

Then there is the Fian challenge I entered into – the carving of bone into a rosary. (Yup – another rosary). This must be done in a year and, although I am progressing nicely so far, anything can happen, so I cannot afford to take a lax attitude to it, for even a day. I am planning on entering one of the beads into the competition. I am assuming I can get at least one face carved in one bead by March. If I can’t, I am in serious trouble. So this makes two of five entries.

The other thing I want to enter is a flag fan – very, very, popular for ladies of Venice in our time period. What will make this really different from the other entries of mine, is that this is what the embroidery floss was bought for. I could have just challenged myself to just do the embroidery (sense a theme of ‘challenging myself’ here -good, because I always try to). I never have done any before, and a small sampler would have been fine to enter, but I hate doing something with no end purpose…thus a flag fan.

I have started the embroidery. I am using a gold metallic thread to outline the body of the …. yup – sea horse. Metallic thread was designed in hell, by a committee of demons and criminals. It was brought into being by madman under the direction of the goddess Eris. I have nothing more to say on that matter.

The fourth thing I plan on entering – is already done.

The horn I made is both metal work and horn work, so it has aspects that are similar to the toothpick pomander and the bone carved bead. It is a step side ways from either of those however, making it as different as it is the same. The big thing is that it also falls into a category I have not touched yet – musical instrument. Yup, the thing can be played. I myself, with trumpet playing not utilized since grade eight, can get clear notes in three distinct ranges; low, mid and high. Having that already done is good feeling.

So that’s four things – two of which need crap loads of work still.

What is the fifth item I’m entering?

Damn! I was hoping you were going to tell me!

Filed under: Jewelry, MIscellaneous, SCA, Writing Tagged: amethyst, Arts & Sciences, Barony Ramshaven, beading, beads, bone, carving, challenge, competition, current work in progress, embroidery, Eris, flag fan, frustration, gem setting, gems, glass shaping, horn, Jonathan Alvey, Kingdom Ealdormere, lapis lazuli, metal, metallic thread, novel, opalite, paranormal, pomander, rosary, toothpick, trumpet, venice, White Dragon Black Series, White Wolf Fian, writer