R.M. Ridley's Blog, page 3

#Edits!

My Editor has found her groove That or having just realized there are 45 chapters in this novel  has filled her with panic.

Either way the chapters are coming fast and and furious now

Yeah – you know I had to insert that pic.

I have chapters 17 thru to 20 of the next White Dragon Black novel, ‘Bindings & Spines’, now in my hands to work on. I know for many this would be a thing of dread and stress, I happen to get a little giddy with this sort of thing. I like the challenge presented by edits. I like forcing myself to think think outside my self-created boxes to find solutions to parts that just don’t work.

I first tackle the easy stuff, the corrections that are simple and I basically only have to agree to the changes. Then I move up in difficulty, say replacing a word that just doesn’t convey the right feeling, then I just keep following that tactic. Having read all the notes from my editor, I’m cognizant of the problems. The easy stuff gets me in the mood for change, and by the time I’ve got only the really tricky rewrites to do, my brain’s already been working at how to redo it.

I also take the hard parts and copy them then paste them on a blank sheet. I copy it twice – one on top for reference one below. I attack the second one. I rework, rewrite, and rearrange the words. The one above gives my the source… the concept I was trying to convey, and the reasons why it didn’t work. Eventually, the one below clicks. I then copy it and paste it in to the manuscript hoping my editor likes that version.

Edits are what they are – writing from a different angle.

Nothing more sinister than that.

Filed under: Book Release, Writing Tagged: Bindings & Spines, chapter, current work in progress, editor, edits, Jonathan Alvey, novel, paranormal private investigator, scene, Urban Fantasy, White Dragon Black Series, writing

The Focus of a Disorderly Brain

So I seem to be entering the next step up in my mental health cycle.

I shouldn’t be surprised – the timing is just about right for it.

This means I’m now even a little less ready to deal with the real world and a little more prone be irritable about nothing. I am more likely to ‘latch on’ to something and obsess on it, or gnaw on it in my head.  My general ability to relate and adapt to situations shrinks and I lose even more ability to focus.

And Yet….

This is the same time when, if I’m writing, I’m able to push out a couple thousand words in a sitting. I’m able to just immerse myself in the creative and produce. I seems that is also true with the more hands on projects I’ve now returned to, having joined the SCA. Tackling logistical problems, is being slippery, but carrying out the implementation of the solutions to those problems, is very controlled.

A life time ago, when I wasn’t on medication to help level my brains response and reactions, this would be a very bad time for attempting physical manifestations of my creative impulses. My anger control was shot, so the slightest issue would drive me into a state that resulted more likely in smashing my project into a twisted lump. I couldn’t make the connection to the image in my head and the way to manifest it in reality, and I would deal with self-esteem issues when I failed to manifest the thought into the physical.

Now, I have the ability to lean back, sigh, and tap my fingers on my temple, as I try to make the brains desire and the fingers skill mesh. I can struggle through and either try, and try again, or know enough to turn my attention to a different project in hope of finding some satisfaction from that one. This ability really changes the game for me. Now I’m not saying that it is easy – it is still hard, when the cycle is high, to fuse desire, intellect, and function – but it is now at least possible.

I can, with the help of the meds, turn the negative obsessive nature into a laser beam directed at one single project. I’ve also found music helps me stay relaxed, loose, and focused during this stage – sooth the savage breast and all.  I can even switch from one project to another. What I can’t do is come out of the intense focus on making a thing or writing a scene, into the real world. It’s a lot like waking for me, their is disruption, befuddlement, and a jarring sense of disconnection. Luckily my wife is used to this and waits while brain scrambles to put context to a wider reality.

So I am progressing on my edits – just got chapter 18 and 19 for the next White Dragon Black novel ‘ Bindings & Spines’ this morning so, after my morning social media routine, I will have to take a look at them. I finally figured out how to put together a tiny pomander bead and actually implemented it yesterday – I need to recreate the technique once more for the project – and I started on making a face in one of the bone beads I’m making for the rosary challenge I signed myself up for. 

So I’m cresting and plunging to a degree, as the waves of my mental disorders slap the little dingy I’m stuck riding this life on.

I’m still seated however, and the view, once you get over the initial panic, is pretty spectacular.

Filed under: Jewelry, Mental Health, MIscellaneous, SCA, Writing Tagged: anger, Bindings & Spines, bipolar, blog for mental health, bone, Brain, crazy, creativity, current work in progress, cycle, edits, focus, frustration, jewelry, Jonathan Alvey, medication, novel, paranormal, paranormal private investigator, pomander, scene, Society for Creative Anachronism, Urban Fantasy, White Dragon Black Series, wierd thoughts, wife, world building, writing

Editors are Cats – Authors are Dogs

Editors make a writer an author. Editors makes a book a novel. Editor keep authors grounded.

Editors are cats and they make us into dogs.

Editors are cats because they go from ignoring you, concentrating only on the task at hand, then suddenly they offer affection, a moment of snuggles and adoration, only to claw you to shreds a moment later, and back to ignoring you.

This isn’t a complaint it is just how it works.

We the authors, on the other hand, become dogs.

We studiously do what we are told, trying desperately to learn all the new tricks that are shown and explained to us. We crave to please or editors, spending our waking moments in figuring out how to make them happy. If we do something to garner their displeasure, we apologetically scamper to fix it. When we are told a part is good, funny, dramatic – is short ‘good dog’ – we get all happy and wiggle our fat asses in our seats.

But this is a good relationship. This is how the job gets done and how a tale becomes a story. If the editor is not good, invested, and balanced in praise and critique, then the story suffers for it.

If the writer is not open to change, not ready to adapt, and too sensitive about their work, the story suffers for it.

If the story suffers than the readers suffer, and Rule Number One – A Readers Won’t Suffer Shit to Read a Book.

So if you don’t have one – go and find your self a real, good, honest editor. There is little to match, rewriting a passage that didn’t work

into a proper turn of phrase, and having your editor praise you for it.

Good Dog!

Filed under: Writing Tagged: author, cats, critique, dogs, dramatic, editors, funny, novel, readers, story, writer

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

So I’ve tried my hand at blacksmithing, casting, cold forging, metal cutting, shaping, and soldering. I’ve carved metal, bone, wood, and even some stone. I’ve worked with materials from glass to horn. I’ve made pendants, earring, rings, brooches, and even a pair of things that no one has yet to figure out how they are used.

I’ve done a lot of things, taught myself a lot of skills, and can handle a multitude of materials – but now I am going into such uncharted territories, even the dragons have ‘Here be Monsters’ on their charts.

That’s right …. I’m going into the world of String!

To be more accurate, I’m getting into the world of Embroidery.

Why, a most reasonable person would ask?

And my answer is – A few reasons. I am getting into string because it is so very different than what I usually do. This is both a personal challenge – to push my limits and get far out of my comfort zone – as well as it is something I feel, as A&S officer for my Barony I should do, to be better versed in all things A&S. I can’t do ALL things covered by in the field of A&S – my term is only a number of years not lifetimes – but I can stretch out occasionally and play at something entirely new.

I choose embroidery, specifically, because it is one of the skills that evokes such a wide range of reactions. Some people love it, others hate it – they love to hate it, and hate to love it. It is one of those arts that always seems to evoke a strong reaction. It is also one of those skills that is so important to garb, all through the centuries and thus no one can really escape it. So – I figured this was the best path to take in my foray into string.

I have bought the floss I decided was the colours I’d like to work in, I know what image I am going to attempt, and I even know what I will make from the embroidered piece…assuming it actually gets finished and looks like something other than this 

I have hopes that the item I make with the embroidery, can be one of the things I enter into the Pentathlon this Kingdom A&S. Five different skill sets – five different projects – one clearly crazy person.

Filed under: MIscellaneous, SCA Tagged: A&S, Arts & Sciences, blacksmithing, bone, brooches, casting, cold forging, earring, embroidery, garb, glass, horn, Kingdom, metal, pendants, Pentathlon, rings, soldering, stone, wood

I mAy Be cRaZY…buT i’m NOt ALonE

On Saturday I went to an event (a SCA gathering), called Queens Prize Tournament. The entire theme of the event is the Arts & Sciences. There is not heavy fighting, not rapier, no thrown weapon or archery – just A&S. It is an event designed to encourage people into the field of A&S, a judged competition where you are competing against no one. Sound strange? It’s delightful.

To enter, you must be only at a certain level of status with-in the society. It is for ‘lower ranking’ members, those who haven’t got a high level of recognition in the field of A&S…yet. Not having recognition -yet- however does not mean, in any way, shape, or form, not having skill. That truth was more than proved Saturday, as one wandered about looking at the projects entered.

Yes, that is a bed – hand made without power tools.

This event is what I was making the repousse viking tongue brooches for. I had wanted to enter, and when it turned out my lady would need pins for her borrowed garb, for our one weekend being vikings instead of 16th century Venetians, I used that excuse.

The brooches were well received. I got lots of little tokens from those people handing them out, to show their appreciation and favour for a project. I also got praise from my three judges. More importantly, I got support and encouragement to continue working in repousse. Most important of all – I got great advice and tips on how to do it better.

That’s what the event is about. Having people come and share their stories, lessons learned, and experiences in the field with you. To talk with others who have more knowledge and gain from them a deeper understanding of how to approach the craft. The hope is you will leave the event inspired, encouraged, and wanting to do more – and maybe try your hand at other crafts as well.

For me, in all these ways, this event was a roaring success. It made me want to keep working and to push my boundaries. In fact, it inspired me so much that for the next pure A&S event, I am going to try and enter the pentathlon – five different items. Not just five different rings, or five different pieces of jewelry, but five totally different crafts. Like jewelry, embroidery, bone carving ….

Yeah – I’m going to be learning new skills just to enter the higher level of the next A&S competition. Why?Because the competition is not against others – it is against yourself.

Filed under: Jewelry, SCA Tagged: Arts & Sciences, bone carving, jewelry, SCA

Hello? Is Anyone There?

Filed under: MIscellaneous

But I LIKE Animals!

Have you seen the show ‘Zoo’?

It’s a series based off the novel of the same name by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge. It airs on CBS, and in it’s second season now. I’ve only seen the first season but that is enough to make last night seem like a sub-plot to an episode.

We were driving home, after dark, from being at our friends place. It’s a three hour drive, mostly on back highways, and I’ve always enjoyed the trip. Last night was a particularly dark one, but I also have no qualms about night driving… unless the wildlife is trying – actively trying – to kill you.

Then I start to get take issue.

I don’t drive with my high-beams on usually. I don’t find I need them. More, I hate people who drive at me, and past me, with their high-beams on. It blinds me from seeing the road far more than if neither of us had our headlights on at all. Not wanting to be that guy who blinds – I don’t turn them on.

Last night changed that.

Driving down the road doing 85 km/hr (that’s around 52.8166 miles per hour) I suddenly had two, full grown, deer standing in front of me. The were facing each other, necks almost crossed, one fully in my lane, the other half in mine, half in the oncoming traffic lane. I saw their heads turn towards me. I stared into one set of large, liquid black, eyes.

I – needless to say – slammed on the brakes, while veering into the other lane. I figured that would give the space to slow down if needed as they leapt to safety the other way. Even if I did end up hitting one of the poor things, it would just catch the back haunch, on the front corner of the van.

My gaze was still locked with the one deer, as though trying to communicate with the graceful creature of innocence, my horror at causing it any injury. I sent out the thought, to those large, soft eyes, the fact that my even having caused it fright, was a sorrow to me.

Then the bloody thing turned and started slowly across the lane I had intended to swerve into.

Due to good tires, anti-lock brakes, and my own skill, my attempt to stop and maneuver the vehicle so as to not crumble the grill into my groin and taste venison worked. After assuring myself that everything was alright and my wife’s confirmation she was fine, I proceeded down the road… with my brights on.

An hour, or so, later, as a car was approaching but before I had flicked my brights off, a large dark shape became visible in the top edge of my side window. I looked back to the road, noticed the proximity of the on coming vehicle and flicked off my brights. This made the shape be more clearly defined, by the lights of the other vehicle. Now seen in the front top corner of my windshield.

It was a giant freaking bird!

A giant freaking bird that suddenly dropped low. Low enough my lights clearly illumined the grey brown feathers. I could easily distinguish the wings of this massive owl. The large body and rounded head of what had to be a great horned owl. This thing turned and banked heading straight at my van. It looked like it wanted to smear it’s feather coated guts all across my front window. I mean I was reaching for the wiper button! At the last second, it caught the air, and rose up over the top of the van.

The good thing was, I managed to stay in my lane during this aerial assault and not smash my van into the front of the other car, crumpling the grill into my groin, and tasting long pork.

Nope, still not done.

Here I am, driving though a large town doing 55 kl/hr (that’s .. oh, look it up yourself) and I see a cat in the road ahead of me. It is on the far right of the two lanes I have to choose from. I’m not overly worried, I’m not going too fast, and the cat is just about to step up onto the curb. Just to be safe, of course, I slide into the left lane.

Yeah you know guessed it.

The moment I do this the cat suddenly, and for no reason, turns around and trots – not runs, not streaks, not hightails it, not bolts – trots. It would have been a saunter, except a saunter wouldn’t have brought it to my van in time. Once more the brakes are dutifully applied, and I glare at suicide cat. Suicide cat glares right back, his mission foiled.

That was all – well that was all that I new about. Who knows how many squirrels, just missed hitting the van as they leapt out of over head tree branches, to rain chittering destruction on me.[image error] Or the raccoons that got smeared by the car just ahead, because the hill was slicker than they anticipated and their tobogganing torpedo of flesh arrived too soon. Or the turtle, intent on being the bump that knocked my vehicle askew, sending it over a bridge, but failing because he didn’t start the journey two hours earlier.

And this the treatment I get for adopting three rescue cats and treating them like royalty? Or maybe this is the treatment I get from my cats who believe they are royalty. Maybe they were showing their displeasure at being left un-entertained, or petted.

Worse, maybe this was a message to say – Never Miss Kitty Treat Time Again!

Filed under: MIscellaneous Tagged: cat, deer, driving, owl, TV series, Zoo

Oh Look – Honey!

I bet the insects that get caught in carnivorous plant have that same thought just before diving into an insidious trap that slowly eats them alive.

I mean that’s the point, right?

Life isn’t an insidious trap on it’s own – I choose to believe – but becomes one by our thoughts, actions, and eagerness … and, I guess, greed.

Stop. Don’t worry, this isn’t a preaching post about how one should think less on money and more on their fellow man. If you think money comes before all else – you are, probably, not reading my blog.

No, this is more about the traps we lay for ourselves in our intentions, versus our actions – one might say planning and hoping against reality of doing.

There are only so many minutes in a day – and some of them really should be devoted to sleep. With good planning, it is possible to accomplish many things, both big and small, with the remaining minutes of your day. However, the more you did yesterday, the more you expect of yourself today. Even if your schedule is exactly the same as yesterday, pulling off the same non-stop act today is harder, because each day you accomplish it takes a away a bit of your energy reserve.

Yes, I know, if you have children there is no way to chip off any bits. Soccer, work, ballet, school, laundry, homework, dinner, ahhhh! You can’t let anything drop! But of course you will, after a month of it ,or so, you snap /crash / burn and then feel guilty about it.

I don’t have answers – especially as I never had kids – but I want you to think about how you can occasionally – maybe once a week, say no to the honey. The honey comes in many guises; Doing a little something extra to impress the boss, doing a little something extra so you feel like a better parent, doing a little something extra for the neighbour. Good deeds or not, sometimes its best to say ‘ not this week’.

I don’t have kids, or a job, and I still manage to do this to myself. “I have the time, right, I’m on disability, so I can do that.” Then one week down the line, I’m trying to balance my work load of five A&S projects, edits to my novel, and writing a short story, plus maintaining my social media connections – because I  like to, and because an indie author should be reaching out, connecting, publicizing….selling.

So what happens? I grind to a halt because there are so many things on my plate I can no longer even sort them out. I stare down, and see this pile which freezes me, due to its volume. It’s never the big things; spending a day helping a friend move, but the small things. Having to create twenty bead pendants by end of the month. I do five first day, then another five the next, then put them aside because I should / need to work on this chapter. And then, because there are so many little things, suddenly it is the day before I need the twenty pendants. Now I am stressed and having to make them all now! Then I become stressed about it and I’m messing them up, despite how easy they are. So now I start to worry, because I scheduled that evening for the carving I promised to do for a gift, and these stupid beads are messing my schedule up.

Planning would solve that you say? Yeah, it might, but planning doesn’t cover the sudden ‘must does’. Planning means you know every minute, and knowing you have five to spare on Wednesday, and thus saying you will bake cookies for the book club, and when little Sally keeps you up all night because she’s puking, because the red crayons really are not strawberries like her friend told her, and you have to catch up on sleep, but cookies so you just buy cookies, and then you feel horrible all through book club because ‘anyone can buy cookies’ ….

I’m rambling but that is exactly how it goes. Is there a solution? Maybe just say from the start, “I’ll buy some cookies, Oreo double stuff good?”

I need to learn to tell myself, ‘I’ll buy some Oreo’s‘ – accept that everything doesn’t need to be ‘Wow‘, or ‘above the norm‘. Sometimes it’s better to say, ‘Here is a pretty I bought you because I thought you’d like it’, than ‘I hand crafted each bead in this necklace, and sculpted the likeness of an Oreo in the pendant, because I know how much you love eating Oreo’s’.

 

All right – I don’t know if any of us learned anything from my ranting post today… except that we all start to get hungry if you mention Oreo’s enough times.

Filed under: Publishing

F*CK You World & and Your Little Brain Monkey’s Too

Yeah – having one of those mornings.

I’ve already bitched, moaned, and sniped. I’ve been depressed and just figuring it was easier to toss important things ‘out the window’ as it were.

I really had no patience to write a blog post – and what’s the point of doing it anyways. I certainly couldn’t think of an interesting topic to share from my pointless, and pathetic life.

So I decided to write about the fact that I didn’t want to write a blog post. That’s what you get for following a blogger with bipolar, I guess. Seen those coffee mugs with the levels on them about when to talk – I think there should be stickers t go on the foreheads of people that do the same sort of thing – or maybe more like the radiation stripes that give colour change to indicate expose. If those strips did exist mine would be showing a red line this morning.

The problem with waking up in this sort of mood already, besides not being fair to my wife, is that now I have t expect the rest of the day will be wasted. A long drawn out day of frustration and boredom. I’ll decide not to do projects I care about least I screw them up – because, you know, I’m a useless failure. Or something will go wrong and my irrational angry will take hold and I’ll smash like the Hulk.

Sometimes I can actually find something to do, and do it well. This can either help draw me out of the episode I awoke to, and sometimes not – because mental follows no set rules and is not here for your understanding or convenience. 

So there is my boring, rant on this morning where I entered reality more cantankerous and self abdicating than usual – which really is saying a lot.

Filed under: Mental Health Tagged: Bi-polar, blog for mental health, Brain, Mental Health, wierd thoughts, wife

Muse – Tease or Tormentor

I’ve been wanting to write.

I’ve been getting glimpses – tiny flashes of scenes.

I’ve yet to be able to just sit and write.

Last night however, just as I was getting ready to go up to my bed, my Muse gave me a full scene. It was an important scene . It was there with colour, meaning, sounds, and emotion. I knew I had to capture the barest of it’s essence on the page. I hastily scrambled to my computer, opened a new page on the processor and jabbed the keys. I caught it, just enough, from the words written I should be able to spin a full scene from it and make it rich and poignant.

Sounds great, right?

Yeah… it was a scene from the very last White Dragon Black novel. It was a scene in bloody book eleven!

Yes – sorry – but there are only going to be a maximum of eleven novels in the series. You now know my secret, my hidden agenda. I had just started the sixth novel when my Muse decided a long vacation, with her sisters, to the mediterranean, was a good idea. Months now – high and dry. And the one scene she slams so hard into my skull my ears were ringing? The eleventh damn book.

~sigh~

And people wonder why we authors drink so damn much!

Filed under: Writing Tagged: frustration, Jonathan Alvey, muse, novel, paranormal, paranormal private investigator, Urban Fantasy, White Dragon Black Series, writing