In Truth…

The Coffee Prayer Damn Good Thing -With a Catch

In Truth…

To be honest, today is not a good day.

My Bi-polar is acting up and thus stirring up my Anti-social disorder as well – as it always does.

I have been cycling early this year. Normally my cycle starts in November but this year it started early October. Fine, not good mind you, but these things happen. After decades of this, you get to a point where you accept that the brain will not follow the usual course and occasionally knocks you about differently.

For almost the past two weeks, I have known when it it 7pm without looking at a clock. I take my medication at 9pm and, when I’m not cycling, I can forget and not notice for hours. The way I do notice, is that I try to go to sleep and my head is ‘noisier’ than normal and suddenly I slap my my hand to my head, call myself an idiot, and go take my pills.

However, these last couple of weeks, I know it is coming near pill time because my brain starts acting up. Confused thoughts, lack of focus, irritability, twitching fingers, easily distracted – all signs that the pills are no longer helping to control/suppress my brain’s faulty wiring.

I am also tired more – wanting to sleep in later, and later, no matter how early I go to bed. My dreams are gearing up as well. Never one for deep sleep or pleasant dreams the level of emotional distress is increasing in my nocturnal travels.

This morning over my first cup of coffee I realized I felt – at ten am – like I usually do at 7pm. Like my pills had worn off and I was due a new boost – only that boost won’t come until much later.

I don’t think this is a dramatic slip in my decline -not yet anyway. I think it just happens to be one of those days – a bad day.

I’ll get trough this day and hope tomorrow bring me a reprieve – at least for a few more days.