Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 39
June 2, 2022
June is the Journey to Courage
Courage- the ability to do what you need to do before you are forced to do it. Iyanla
June is upon us. As we move on from our Journey to Stillness, we Journey onward to Courage.
Maya Angelou said "courage is the most important of all virtues because without courage you cannot practice any other virtue consistently" she also went on to say if we have courage, nothing can dim the light that is within.
As I Journey throughout this beautiful blessing called life, I have learnt that courage can be a quiet determination to live a life that I am proud of, one that I have designed, rather than one that has been designed for me, given to me or expected of me.
I have learnt that it takes courage to accept and face what I fear. It also takes courage to take the action required to move past the fear.
Courage requires us to have an unwavering belief in ourselves, knowing that no matter what, no matter how many times failure presents itself, that we will be okay.
Courage demands vulnerability, it demands accountability , it demands letting go of control and feeling "shame".
Human beings love having things our way, we want to be right, we want to be to be seen as good, to be seen as ambitious. It takes courage to admit that we are not right, that we have messed up, that we do not know what to do or what comes next.
Courage allows us to have faith that all will be well on the Journey despite how it looks in the present moment.
Do something daily on this Journey to demonstrate to yourself that you are and can be courageous. It takes practice.
Do something you don't like to do, do something that are afraid of doing. Start the business, take up a hobby, have a "me day", travel to new places, meet new people, quit that job that you wanted to, set some boundaries, stop the habits that keep you stuck.
Do a new thing this month.
Apologize to someone. Let go of control. Do something different.
You develop courage by doing courageous things.
Peace
May 31, 2022
Personal Growth demands Emotional Maturity
Personal growth is not about removing all internal and external difficulties, it is about improving the way you handle them so that they no longer crush you when they appear. Yung Pueblo
Growing up, I somehow got into my head that if I was a good person, prayed and did right, I will experience zero difficulties. I believed that only bad people had bad experiences. Well how off base was I! When life happened to me I thought the sky was falling in, wasn't I a "good person" was I not doing the right things and following the formula? Then whatever the hell is going on?
What I learnt is, life is fleeting, and so are all the events associated with life. There will always be positive and negative times, experiences come to support in building our character, patience and faith. The experiences we receive in life push us to emotional maturity. Life will keep repeating the lessons until we get it. It's nothing personal..
When we are emotionally mature we are able to stay grounded during tough times and appreciate the bumper times.
Developing self awareness allows us to see and note our progress. It allows us to leave out judgement of self when we are in the storm making the same decisions over and over that does not serve us. It also allows us to take responsibility and be accountable to ourselves.
How do we develop self awareness? Pay attention to your feelings, check in with yourself, rather than run from it, deny it, hide it. Get curious and let the feelings guide you, then take action. Leave the self judgement out of the equation.
Unwanted challenges will occasionally appear in our lives. Our only option then is to build the inner awareness to witness our own struggle when things go wrong and to then rise above our negative reactions so that we can respond to the situation in a productive manner.
Peace
May 30, 2022
Open Heart = Right Decision
" I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision." Maya Angelou
The difference between moving towards a challenge and not has always been for me making a firm decision. The moment I make a firm decision, it seems as if my mind, body and soul all come together to make it happen. I find the time, I find the courage, I find the discipline and commitment to persevere through the challenge and through the challenging times.The moment I remain in uncertainty and unwillingness, there is no way that I move forward with clarity. I have learnt to wait, to not force myself, if I am not willing to make a firm decision there is no way that the goal will be achieved. There is no alignment when our thought, words and deeds are different. When we say we want to do or want something, we believe that it is possible despite the challenges and then we take action to make it happen.The Universe works well when we are in alignment - when thought, word and deed are all in alignment, we are able to move forward with clarity.If you find yourself wavering, unwilling, not knowing - take a pause.Ask yourself, what is your why and move towards willingness to have and keep an open mind.Have you ever spoken to someone who has done what you consider to be something challenging and they simply say "I was ready" or "I decided"This is where it starts. A firm decision, a willingness. Watch how everything falls into place when we are willing and in alignment followed by a firm decision.Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 26, 2022
Healing Requires Feeling
Healing is about feeling, not about thinking Yung Pueblo
One of the best, yet toughest lessons for me has been to "feel all of your feelings". It sounded so simple at the time - simple ain't always easy.
The formula for healing always start with feeling. For us to move past where we are we must ask ourselves. What Am I feeling in the moment? And have the appropriate language and courage to respond.
"Okay" is not a feeling, it is not an emotion. it is a mental or emotional bypass. In other words, I don't want to/need to think about this or make myself vulnerable to it, so I will pass right by it with saying I am "ok"
Normal is not a feeling. Normal is similar to okay, an opportunity to side step.
Fine - our usual standard. We always seem to be fine.
The quicker we start pretending to be unbothered, the quicker we start healing.
I had a habit of hiding my feelings, I am not entirely certain when that began, but I am sure about when it ended.
I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be seen as a person in control. I wanted to be in control. I also did not know how to feel, how to say how I felt, how to feel these feelings without losing "control" so, as soon as something came up that sent me into an uncomfortable place,
Who likes feeling uncomfortable? That signaled to me that there is a problem to be solved, something to fix, not something to sit with, get curious about and learn from.
What started to happen? Life started saying to me, your feelings are stuck in your body, they are buried there and it needs attention.
I could not heal, it was like having a wound and picking it, bouncing it as I went about my everyday life. When it was hit or picked, I continued to fix, look for "solutions", to ignore and deny. The wound could not heal.
Feelings are guides, they indicate where you are in the moment. they will not last unless you hold on to them,. If you deny them they will ask to be seen and felt.
Feel First.
Feel it all.
Then and only then can real movement take place.
There is no way we can continuously manipulate or control what is happening outside of us when it is not going the way we want it to. We can only face ourselves and respond in the best way that we know how. If we move directly towards fixing, manipulating and controlling we miss the opportunity to feel.
I have started inviting the feeling in, asking it questions, writing it down and leaving all judgement out of the equation.
It is a work in progress. Feel it and let it go!
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 24, 2022
Do You Keep Commitments to Yourself?
When you keep that commitment to yourself, you’re saying: I believe in possibility. I believe in my future. I believe in myself. Joe Dispenza
Keeping commitments to self. Do you have any? Do you keep them? Do you think that commitments to yourself are important?
What I have learnt is keeping commitments to myself helps in building trust, both to myself and in the process.
Keeping commitments to myself supports accountability.
Keeping commitments to myself builds self confidence and self love
Why? I demonstrate to myself that I am important...to me.
I demonstrate to myself and to the Universe that I am worth it.
It takes practice. The world we live in will tell you that your job and its deadlines are more important than keeping your commitments to self. Your responsibilities will scream at you, put me first, you can wait. It becomes easier and easier for us to break the commitments to ourselves leaving us feeling guilty and many times tired.
It takes discipline and courage to form the habit of putting you on your daily agenda. Trust me, you are worth it.
I have a sticky note on the mirror in the bathroom
Today, I keep this commitment to myself - I insert the one that I want to keep.
Peace
Akosua
May 23, 2022
Worthiness demands accountability
Believing we create our own reality means we acknowledge that nothing can change in our lives until we change. Being accountable means being willing to examine what we need to change about ourselves to draw closer to the new future – the new personal reality – we envision.
And then, once we’ve made a commitment to change, accountability means we honor that commitment. Joe Dispenza
Our belief of our own worth is essential as we navigate through this journey called life. How worthy do we feel? our sense and feeling of our worthiness informs many of our choices.
As we move through life, we encounter situations such as fear, rejection, insecurities and broken dreams which play on how we feel about ourselves. Many of these are external events. It is crucial that we know and remember that worthiness is innate and an inside job. What is important is how we learn and respond to the events.
An inside job - it starts with you, it starts inside you, knowing, believing, doing the work.
What I have learnt today about worthiness is, when we feel worthy it shows up in how we respond and react to the external events.
Resistance reflects a feeling of unworthiness. The resistance to change- this can mean - I do not feel well equipped to do this new thing, to this uncertainty.
The resistance to remaining disciplined and keeping your commitments - this can mean - I am afraid of doing this, I do not deserve this.
The resistance to see things in a new way, to give up your way, to give up control - this can mean - I want to control this situation to feel safe.
Worthiness is a willingness to say yes, knowing that whatever happens I remain worthy, I can handle it, I will learn and be ok.
And when we let go of the resistance with a willingness to see things in a different way, a remembrance of our innate worthiness, we take our power back.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 21, 2022
Letting go is taking responsibility for my feelings
Make sure them expectations you living up to belong to you & no one else. Ebony Davis
On Thursday, I drove just over two and a half hours to speak at a school event. The entire day and the experience turned out to be quite beautiful. Lessons were learnt and letting go was enhanced. I have been focusing on the art of letting go during the month of May.
I define letting go as staying in consciousness. Stating centered, grounded and peaceful when faced with difficult situations or when my ego wants to prove that I am enough.
Letting go is taking a pause before reacting out of anger, fear or ego.
Letting go is taking responsibility for my feelings.
The school asked me to speak to just over 100 young ladies between the ages oof 13 and 14 - hearing just over 100 ladies scared me. Driving for just over two and a half ours, the thought of doing that, scared me. My mind started talking to me (incessantly) "this more that I have ever spoken to before" My mind also reminded me that these ladies are younger than the ones that I usually speak to. I felt a pang of nervousness. I felt anxious and started making assumptions. Then I remembered that I was in the process of learning to let go and to stay in my consciousness. Remembering this helped me in moving out of fear and into a place of reflection. I wanted to give myself a chance of doing something new that seems challenging.
I put the work in, I prepared and then I let go.
I did not remember everything that I wrote before hand to say, I do remember showing up real with an intention to do my best.
When we show up with intention, letting go becomes easier.
I am grateful for the time spent at the school in Point Fortin.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 16, 2022
Insecurity Blocks Flow
Insecurity will manifest itself as control, which blocks the flow of real love Yung Pueblo
Over the past few weeks, life has been reflecting back to me my insecurities. Life is beautiful like that, it brings to your attention what you need to focus on. Sometimes, life will take -what we would consider - drastic moves to get our attention.
Sometimes, getting our attention can be uncomfortable at best. I have now learnt these attempts at getting my attention as a demonstration of how much life loves each and every one of us.
All that to say that the reflections to me lately has been manifesting itself as control, blocking flow. I had to sit with myself and ask: what am I insecure about? what does it even mean? Why am I even feeling this way?
The definition of insecure is uncertain or anxious about oneself, not confident in self. Note that "oneself" and "self" is an important part of the definition. Its all about you. How you feel about yourself, rather than what others are telling you, what others are validating or invalidating.
We must examine our own fears, insecurities and triggers. Then we can now when they arise, and trust me they will arise, how to get curious about them, how they impact how we live.
Once we are radically honest with ourself, we can take the appropriate action.
Affirm - there is nothing to far!
Affirm - Life loves me
Get curious with the insecurity, invite it in - not to live - just enough for the message and lesson that it has for you - then let it go.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 13, 2022
Keep in touch with yourself
Why is it so hard to go against the norm? There are so many fears that can come along with charting your own path - you risk ridicule, isolation, and potential loneliness. Our culture often does not make it easy to embrace who we truly are. It usually seems easier to go with the status quo with less risk of strange looks, harsh words, or worse. Rachel Astor
As we journey towards stillness, there will be moments where we doubt that being still is an effective strategy or solution, we may even believe that stillness is a waste of time. The over riding culture promotes that there is no time to be still, that stillness takes away from the "things we have to do"
What I have learnt on the Journey to Stillness is, when changes are occurring in your life, especially the life altering ones, stillness is one of the techniques that can provide us with a level of inner guidance like no other. The opportunity to pause, reflect, stop and breathe becomes critical. Stillness puts you in a space where you cannot deny or distract yourself anymore, denial is done. Leading you back into your power. When you are clear about what is in front of you, when you face it, you can make decisions from a space of power, from reality, rather than denial.
According to Eckart Tolle "stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found"
Get still because if you lose touch with yourself, you lose touch with the world.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
May 11, 2022
Self Awareness brings about different choices
Real change can only happen when you take steps to change your behavior patterns. Stacey Herrera
Self awareness involves you paying attention to the patterns in your life, your habits, what you do on auto pilot. I have been speaking quite a bit lately about patterns and habits. Having realized that many of my actions stem from habits and patterns was a moment of self realization, I can tell you it has changed my view on so many things.
Self awareness allows us to view, pause and make courageous choices. When we live from a space of habit, we act efficiently sometimes however not in our best interests. We act efficiently because the brain can work, the brain can follow.
Once we become self aware, we can make different choices, from the different choice comes the change.
Change is challenging, Not impossible. There must be a firm decision to change, a conscious choice to yourself that you want something different.
This is the start of the real change.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo(Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on The Journey to Unconditional Love
