Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 178
March 31, 2016
Ask what needs to go.. then let it go
Arrogance left and wisdom and humility came in, lessons come from everywhere, when you are holding on to something it holds on to you
L.Anthony Watkins
Brutally honest, some of us are addicted to external validation, being right about everything, and to having things our own way so that we can feel safe.To say whatever you want to whomever you want without any regard for the necessity or appropriateness of our speaking! To be seen and heard at the same time!Addicted to being unacceptable and guilty and you don’t even know it!It is easy to point out in others the things we deny, dismiss, avoid, excuse , resist acknowledging that we actually believe are true about usAsk –What do I need? What’s in my way? What needs to go?Then go do it! No excuses, no procrastination!
Peace!
Brutally honest, some of us are addicted to external validation, being right about everything, and to having things our own way so that we can feel safe.To say whatever you want to whomever you want without any regard for the necessity or appropriateness of our speaking! To be seen and heard at the same time!Addicted to being unacceptable and guilty and you don’t even know it!It is easy to point out in others the things we deny, dismiss, avoid, excuse , resist acknowledging that we actually believe are true about usAsk –What do I need? What’s in my way? What needs to go?Then go do it! No excuses, no procrastination!
Peace!
March 30, 2016
Love yourself to the light
Choose action over thought, and love yourself to the light
Maxie Mc Coy
Sharing a very dear lesson to me below, thanks Maxie...
You've yet to figure it out. Sometimes, you're not even sure which way is up. It's always a few steps forward and a couple steps back these days. And shit, are these steps even the right ones? How are you supposed to know? Are you just twisting in circles? Or worse, are you going back toward where you started?
The pressure to figure it out is massive. On any given day you're wondering who you're supposed to be. Which job is the right one. If you've made the right decisions. If this person you love is worth the long haul. If you should be doing more. If you should have it all together at this age.What am I even doing with my life. If you've thought it. Muttered it. Or spent hours in bed crushed by it. Listen up.You, my sweet soul of a human, are not lost. You never have been. You're simply expecting answers no one can give you. You're placing emphasis on certainty that cannot ever be certain. You're demanding to know how the movie ends while still demanding a say in how that story gets told.
It's not all your fault though. Businesses have been built on making you think any of this is in your control. They have been creating those insecurities for you so you buy, invest, and overcompensate with a product that'll help you get there.
You have access like never before to the highlights of people's lives without having any clue about what's going on underneath the surface. There's a beautifully tragic triage of factors that have permeated this feeling of lost into the psyche of so many of you.
But you're not lost. You're simply finding your way. With every step, a little bit more of the journey unfolds. Emphasis on the step though. You must keep moving and doing and creating and failing and rejoicing and loving.
You must must must stay in a place of action. It's the only thing that will provide clarity. You've got to really, truly engage with your life in order to get anywhere.
When you get a tingle. Do something. When you hear a call. Answer it. When you get asked to contribute. Say yes. When you get a bit excited. Jump. When he asks you out. Go. Get out of that damn head of yours and get into your life. Wondering about it won't do shit. Wandering around will.
There are only so many spots on a wall you can hit until you meet the doorway that opens up to what's next.When you hit all the roadblocks, be gentle. And be loving. To you and to everyone around you.
Listen, you're going to do things you regret. You're going to make choices that flunked. You're going to hurt people. You're going to disappoint yourself. There will be tears. And therapy. And wine. And journaling. And sabbaticals. And days your heart breaks inside of your chest because you're so confused about why or what you're doing. That's called breaking open. Breaking open to let your gorgeous energy out and attract the magic you deserve.
Heartbreak merely creates space for the flare to go up—telling the right person or opportunity that you're here. Opening up to the possibility. And not letting your fears or worthiness hold you back. Everyone's scared and everyone's wondering, but the pain leads to joy and the thought of joy is what pulls you out of pain.
That paradox is important. That you don't try to live in one or the other: the light or the dark. Knowing they coexist in life and you're moving your way through them will bring you clarity. You'll be more gentle. You'll exist in love instead of always fighting your way to the next. When you're in a funk, you'll sit in your shit. When you're confused, you'll revel in confusion while you need to until you're ready to do something about it. When you're sad, you'll be sad instead of lying about your feelings. But through it all and no matter where you are, the love will keep you sane. The love for yourself. And the connection to the love around you.Peace
Sharing a very dear lesson to me below, thanks Maxie...
You've yet to figure it out. Sometimes, you're not even sure which way is up. It's always a few steps forward and a couple steps back these days. And shit, are these steps even the right ones? How are you supposed to know? Are you just twisting in circles? Or worse, are you going back toward where you started?
The pressure to figure it out is massive. On any given day you're wondering who you're supposed to be. Which job is the right one. If you've made the right decisions. If this person you love is worth the long haul. If you should be doing more. If you should have it all together at this age.What am I even doing with my life. If you've thought it. Muttered it. Or spent hours in bed crushed by it. Listen up.You, my sweet soul of a human, are not lost. You never have been. You're simply expecting answers no one can give you. You're placing emphasis on certainty that cannot ever be certain. You're demanding to know how the movie ends while still demanding a say in how that story gets told.
It's not all your fault though. Businesses have been built on making you think any of this is in your control. They have been creating those insecurities for you so you buy, invest, and overcompensate with a product that'll help you get there.
You have access like never before to the highlights of people's lives without having any clue about what's going on underneath the surface. There's a beautifully tragic triage of factors that have permeated this feeling of lost into the psyche of so many of you.
But you're not lost. You're simply finding your way. With every step, a little bit more of the journey unfolds. Emphasis on the step though. You must keep moving and doing and creating and failing and rejoicing and loving.
You must must must stay in a place of action. It's the only thing that will provide clarity. You've got to really, truly engage with your life in order to get anywhere.
When you get a tingle. Do something. When you hear a call. Answer it. When you get asked to contribute. Say yes. When you get a bit excited. Jump. When he asks you out. Go. Get out of that damn head of yours and get into your life. Wondering about it won't do shit. Wandering around will.
There are only so many spots on a wall you can hit until you meet the doorway that opens up to what's next.When you hit all the roadblocks, be gentle. And be loving. To you and to everyone around you.
Listen, you're going to do things you regret. You're going to make choices that flunked. You're going to hurt people. You're going to disappoint yourself. There will be tears. And therapy. And wine. And journaling. And sabbaticals. And days your heart breaks inside of your chest because you're so confused about why or what you're doing. That's called breaking open. Breaking open to let your gorgeous energy out and attract the magic you deserve.
Heartbreak merely creates space for the flare to go up—telling the right person or opportunity that you're here. Opening up to the possibility. And not letting your fears or worthiness hold you back. Everyone's scared and everyone's wondering, but the pain leads to joy and the thought of joy is what pulls you out of pain.
That paradox is important. That you don't try to live in one or the other: the light or the dark. Knowing they coexist in life and you're moving your way through them will bring you clarity. You'll be more gentle. You'll exist in love instead of always fighting your way to the next. When you're in a funk, you'll sit in your shit. When you're confused, you'll revel in confusion while you need to until you're ready to do something about it. When you're sad, you'll be sad instead of lying about your feelings. But through it all and no matter where you are, the love will keep you sane. The love for yourself. And the connection to the love around you.Peace
March 29, 2016
Feel it all
The average human life, we see, is trying to avoid and run from the inner toil of fear and the threat of misery. Everyone's self esteem is threatened both within and without. We have become afraid of our inner feelings because they hold such a massive amount of negativity that we fear that we would be overwhelmed by it if we were to take a deeper look, we have three major ways of handling feelings, suppression, expression and escape
- David R Hawkins
Feel, feel it all. A great lesson
Feel it all meant encouraging the feeling I was experiencing at the moment to rise to the surface and respond (not react) to it in a healthy way
You see, I blocked them out, I let it fester but feelings buried alive never die
And what I have learnt in the process of feeling it, feeling it all is that Ideal with it and I can let it go and make room for something else, I feel lighter, I feel healthier, there are no headaches, back pains, migranes, flu like symtoms, there is me dealing with the feeling and moving da hell on. And this was super scary for me, let me tell you!! My thoughts would go buck wild, what if "they" don't like me again? What if I lose my friends, job, opportunity,relationship, what if I cannot deal with the pain or the consequences of the action. Hey so what? So what? the trade off is I am light, healthy and learnt from it.
And so I go, feeling it, feeling it all
And as we say here in Trinidad, "who vex lorse"
Peace
Feel, feel it all. A great lesson
Feel it all meant encouraging the feeling I was experiencing at the moment to rise to the surface and respond (not react) to it in a healthy way
You see, I blocked them out, I let it fester but feelings buried alive never die
And what I have learnt in the process of feeling it, feeling it all is that Ideal with it and I can let it go and make room for something else, I feel lighter, I feel healthier, there are no headaches, back pains, migranes, flu like symtoms, there is me dealing with the feeling and moving da hell on. And this was super scary for me, let me tell you!! My thoughts would go buck wild, what if "they" don't like me again? What if I lose my friends, job, opportunity,relationship, what if I cannot deal with the pain or the consequences of the action. Hey so what? So what? the trade off is I am light, healthy and learnt from it.
And so I go, feeling it, feeling it all
And as we say here in Trinidad, "who vex lorse"
Peace
March 28, 2016
Ask for what you really really want
Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love.
(1:9) ACIMAsking for what you really want when you are a "people pleaser" is a challengeAsking for what you really want when you are coming from a space of "not enoughness" is a challengeAsking for what you really want when the fear is clouding your mind is a challengeAsking for what you really want when self belief is low is a challengeBut ask anywayFind the courage and askIn the book "The Four Agreements" Mr Ruiz talks about having the courage to ask for what you want and do not assume. There is also a saying that when you assume you make an ass out of you and me- and I'm sure you a'int no ass!Asking for what you really want brings clarity, it brings trust because you know that you have laid it all out on the table there are no hidden agendasAsking for what you really want allows people a chance to show you who they are because by their actions- not their words- you can see who is authentic, who is lying through their teeth, who needs love, who isn't ready and then you get to chooseAsking for what you really want means that you have taken the time to know what it is you really want because if you don't know any ole thing will be enoughAsking for what I really want is a work in progress I have tried it so far for what I consider tough in two occasionsI was really digging this guy, I started off asking him for what I really wanted, things were going, in my mind smoothly, then I chickened out on the next set of questions and things fizzled out to nothing - I felt bad that the friendship hasn't gone in the way that I would have liked, but I felt great knowing that I got the practice in asking for what I wanted. Still felt bad though but I digress...I chickened out in asking for what I really wanted when an organisation asked me to to talk at a function- I just said yes because I felt that I would lose out on the opportunity, and so my asking for what I really want is a work in progress and I grow as I grow.Today I commit to myself to continue on the journey to asking for what I really want knowing that delays are not denials, that I am enough, that no means next or not now and to accept that everything is everything and it's alrightPeace
March 26, 2016
Do what you say
Do what you say you’re going to do- this is the single most powerful behavior for success Danielle La PorteOkay confessions on the journey, Billy Bull shitters, I run from them! you know the ones who always profess that they can do something and never does, or the ones who say they will do something and when the time comes to do its always a stoopid excuse? I run from those types, they annoy me! Yes, I am working on reducing the level of annoyance...So why just not say I am unable to do it, or stay quietWhat about the ones who are afraid to say the truth and make up some other type of BS then disappear? The truth hurts yea but find a way - they say social media gives us balls, try that medium to deliver the message if you cannot do it face to faceThese are my confessions..... Thank you for listeneningHave a super SaturdayPeace
March 25, 2016
Fiercely Believe
Fiercely believe that you're exactly where you're supposed to be: trials, downers, challenges, hiccups and all. Believe past your current circumstance. Believe as big as your dreams. Believe with utter and unmatchable determination that you are enough. That your dreams will happen. That your heart will heal. That you will make it through another day. That this will all make sense later. That everything will be OK. That your impact will be great
. Maxie McCoy
Unwavering faith - do you have unwavering faith in yourself, in your vision, in your dreams?
Not just faith, unwavering faith, the one that does not move, rock solid, the one that says to you when you are tired you take a rest and then as we say "wheel and come again"
Do you know what you know and that is enough for you to start, to move to act? just knowing that you have this level of unwavering faith and knowing?
This takes times to build, especially living in a world where people base things on what they can see, if it hasn't been done before or done by anyone around them it seems almost impossible.
For me, my self belief and unwavering faith journey started with the small things, I practice there, I practice on running one mile, and when I achieve it I feel really good, I try two miles and now I can run a 5k race no problem, don't ask me my time please lol I just finish the race without walking
I try it with chocolate, I love love love chocolate given a chance I eat it daily so I say "self, no chocolate today, and then today turns into two days and then three, my self belief grows so I get the courage to try it with big things, speaking in front of a huge crowd, finishing my books, starting my programmes
Its a work in progress,starting with the small things and knowing that when I am tired I can always wheel and come again, fresh and clean
Peace
Unwavering faith - do you have unwavering faith in yourself, in your vision, in your dreams?
Not just faith, unwavering faith, the one that does not move, rock solid, the one that says to you when you are tired you take a rest and then as we say "wheel and come again"
Do you know what you know and that is enough for you to start, to move to act? just knowing that you have this level of unwavering faith and knowing?
This takes times to build, especially living in a world where people base things on what they can see, if it hasn't been done before or done by anyone around them it seems almost impossible.
For me, my self belief and unwavering faith journey started with the small things, I practice there, I practice on running one mile, and when I achieve it I feel really good, I try two miles and now I can run a 5k race no problem, don't ask me my time please lol I just finish the race without walking
I try it with chocolate, I love love love chocolate given a chance I eat it daily so I say "self, no chocolate today, and then today turns into two days and then three, my self belief grows so I get the courage to try it with big things, speaking in front of a huge crowd, finishing my books, starting my programmes
Its a work in progress,starting with the small things and knowing that when I am tired I can always wheel and come again, fresh and clean
Peace
March 24, 2016
You become lighter
If you are emotionally blocked and you cannot, or do not know what you feel or have blocked what you feel so effectively that you become emotionless, you become a negative person, and you create a physically diseased body. By keeping your emotions clear emotional negativity does not reside in you, and you become lighter and lighter
Gary Zukav
One of the best lessons on the journey that I have received thus far is "refuse to look at situations that are happening in your life as something happening TO YOU but as something that is happening FOR YOU"I remind myself of this lesson and with it I ask " what is this situation for?" it changes the dynamics of how I approach a challenging situation, or when I am feeling in a funky funk.What is this for? What is the lesson here? What am I in fear of? What am I not paying attention to? Or maybe what am I paying too much attention to? And part of all this are the signals that our emotions give us. Our emotions trigger something is right, something is not right. Blocking them and doing so continuously contributes to all sorts of drama! We tend to run from discomfort as human beings, we really just want to feel good and why not? feeling good is awesomely awesome unfortunately blocking so called "bad" feelings is not a sustainable move, and with that we look for artificial ways to "feel good" when the discomfort surfaces. Acknowledge the feeling, ride the wave and let it pass. We have the power to let it go and choose to make the next best decision based on love not fear and to remember that it is hapening for us not to usPeace
One of the best lessons on the journey that I have received thus far is "refuse to look at situations that are happening in your life as something happening TO YOU but as something that is happening FOR YOU"I remind myself of this lesson and with it I ask " what is this situation for?" it changes the dynamics of how I approach a challenging situation, or when I am feeling in a funky funk.What is this for? What is the lesson here? What am I in fear of? What am I not paying attention to? Or maybe what am I paying too much attention to? And part of all this are the signals that our emotions give us. Our emotions trigger something is right, something is not right. Blocking them and doing so continuously contributes to all sorts of drama! We tend to run from discomfort as human beings, we really just want to feel good and why not? feeling good is awesomely awesome unfortunately blocking so called "bad" feelings is not a sustainable move, and with that we look for artificial ways to "feel good" when the discomfort surfaces. Acknowledge the feeling, ride the wave and let it pass. We have the power to let it go and choose to make the next best decision based on love not fear and to remember that it is hapening for us not to usPeace
March 23, 2016
Self Judgement be gone
See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit,& Granny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't go 'round trying to be what I'm not I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree doo wee doo wee do wee Erykah Badu
Focusing on myself, my goals and my vision is something that I pay very close attention to, and then there are times when I lose the focus and start looking at what other people are doing, getting defensive when people tell me something that pushes my buttons, losing faith in the vision this is where I realise that I must get still and regroup and trust me that takes a bit of time when I am being stubborn. But life is gracious and gives us hints, clues, lessons and sometimes slaps us silly when we don't pay attention. Some people get punch drunk and continue to take the slaps thinking that it is normal, when they don't have to go down that route.And the focus needed is not a selfish egoistic it is one which is full of self love, self respect and honor of selfAnd so, I continue the work, self judgement be gone!Peace
I don't go 'round trying to be what I'm not I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree doo wee doo wee do wee Erykah Badu
Focusing on myself, my goals and my vision is something that I pay very close attention to, and then there are times when I lose the focus and start looking at what other people are doing, getting defensive when people tell me something that pushes my buttons, losing faith in the vision this is where I realise that I must get still and regroup and trust me that takes a bit of time when I am being stubborn. But life is gracious and gives us hints, clues, lessons and sometimes slaps us silly when we don't pay attention. Some people get punch drunk and continue to take the slaps thinking that it is normal, when they don't have to go down that route.And the focus needed is not a selfish egoistic it is one which is full of self love, self respect and honor of selfAnd so, I continue the work, self judgement be gone!Peace
March 22, 2016
What if?
Lift your head up high and scream out to the world I know I am someone then let the truth unfold
Micheal Jackson
What if we all decide to believe that we are incredible human beings capable of doing incredible things?
What if we all decide that our bodies can do what ever our minds direct it to do?
What if we decide not to outsource our happiness and take responsibility for it?
What if we believe that "this too shall pass" and let "it" go?
What if we believe that we can dream big dreams and then go one step further and believe that we can in fact achieve the dreams we dream
What if we decide that we are all one and act accordingly?
What if we decide to stop the judgement of other people and focus on our own lives?
What if we decide to mind our own business?
What if we pour love on it?
What if we decide not to take things personally all the time? (this one tough for me!!)
What if......
Peace
What if we all decide to believe that we are incredible human beings capable of doing incredible things?
What if we all decide that our bodies can do what ever our minds direct it to do?
What if we decide not to outsource our happiness and take responsibility for it?
What if we believe that "this too shall pass" and let "it" go?
What if we believe that we can dream big dreams and then go one step further and believe that we can in fact achieve the dreams we dream
What if we decide that we are all one and act accordingly?
What if we decide to stop the judgement of other people and focus on our own lives?
What if we decide to mind our own business?
What if we pour love on it?
What if we decide not to take things personally all the time? (this one tough for me!!)
What if......
Peace
March 21, 2016
Back at the Ranch
The only reason that we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.
Pema Chodron
I am now in Trinidad and Tobago, and in a situation that is making me open my heart and mind to look myself in the eye in a very honest way.
Many times when I travel and see the inspiring work that is based on communities and people with one mission of making where they are a better place and most times it has me thinking about my own vision and mission in life. Today I am in review mode and know that peace, love, patience and courage must be my next step, it must drive the way I move forward because anything other than that is "sufferation"
Note to self:How courageous am I? How willing am I to step out, how you gonna move if you want to stay, how you're gonna flow if you're in your way?
Peace!
I am now in Trinidad and Tobago, and in a situation that is making me open my heart and mind to look myself in the eye in a very honest way.
Many times when I travel and see the inspiring work that is based on communities and people with one mission of making where they are a better place and most times it has me thinking about my own vision and mission in life. Today I am in review mode and know that peace, love, patience and courage must be my next step, it must drive the way I move forward because anything other than that is "sufferation"
Note to self:How courageous am I? How willing am I to step out, how you gonna move if you want to stay, how you're gonna flow if you're in your way?
Peace!
