Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 181

Decide then move it...

No decision, no progress Kate Northrup

Making a decision, I have learnt, is a form of power. It activates something powerful in me that allows me to do the very thing that I may have been putting off, postpoining and procrastinating. There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind. The conviction and discipline emerges and says here I am let's go, let's do this.
Its knowing despite any doubts, that you are going to do the very thing, it is knowing despite hearing any talk to the contrary that this is going to happen....no matter what

Not making a decision is indeed a decision - it is a decision by fault

Many of us believe that we may make the wrong decision, and if you do so what? What does wrong mean any ole way?
Free will allows us to change our mind and the lessons that we gain from the decisions are usually quite invaluable

According to Kate Northrup,

There’s no such thing as the wrong decision.

There’s simply the decision you make.

You can weigh the pros and cons for eons.

You can call your friends, your psychic, and the angel card reader.

You can literally spend your entire life debating.

You can miss shining opportunities because you were paralyzed by your fear of getting it wrong.

You can watch your life pass before your eyes by trying to avoid getting it wrong.

You can stay exactly where you are forever because you’re afraid of getting it wrong.

Or you can move forward.

Move it....
Peace

Stopolisms

Don’t keep score. If you bring “obligation" into the equation, it makes everything janky. We all do favours (personally, I’m leery of favours) for each other and hope that it will be reciprocated – reciprocity is such a beautiful part of being human...together.But…really really really it doesn’t matter what you did for anyone yesterday. Really it doesn’t. Don’t let it. You gave it. Let it go. No one owes you anything. Danielle La Porte
Top  Ten Stopolisms
1.    Stop the need to be in control – give people a chance to rise to the occasion
2.    Stop being fake – yea just stop that
3.    Stop gossiping –talk about something in your own life that you can take the time to improve
4.    Stop trying to prove that you right – would you rather be right or be happy?
5.    Stop toting feelings – let it go
6.    Stop making excuses – mainly because of fear
7.    Stop justifying yours and other people’s bad behaviour
8.    Stop lying to yourself
9.    Stop playing small
10.  Stop people pleasing in order to be likedPeace

#Not Enoughness be gone

We combat our belief that we are not good enough by perfecting, pleasing,performing we go through our lives trying to be who we think we are supposed to be doing and saying what we want we think we want people to hear, putting on what mask we think we need for that moment and that leaves us exhausted (pleasing, perfecting, performing)
Courage requires us  to show the willingness and the ability to be uncomfortable and to feel our way through emotions Brene Brown
It hit me like a ton of brinks yesterday, and I felt quite embarrassed at first and then I started laughing uncontrollably because I got it, a penny dropping moment. I did not feel good enough and did not feel as if I measured up to the task. I kept making excuses and making up reasons for doing the shite that I know was just in an attempt to make that particular person happy and in my circle. Hey as we say here "party done...."I am enough! I have nothing to protect. I have nothing to defend. I have nothing to deny. I have nothing to prove. and the moment I start acting that way it is time to make another choice and make another move.And this explains so many of my choices and relationships especially with men...So here we godown with the not enoughness...Peace

Be the generous one

Just be the Giver. Please. Be the generous one, the mentor, the adviser, the motivator, the donor, the donator, the one who cares. Find a way to make what you do matter for more people, or matter more for one person. Give someone a break. Give someone hope. Make a promise. Keep it. Overdeliver. Open the door of opportunity; open your wallet. Open your heart, take out the love, and hand it to someone. DLP
I love the Course in Miracles, it makes me go hmmm, have you ever heard that song "things that make you go hmmm" A Course in Miracles is one of the texts that have that effect on meAnd so ACIM presents the concept that what you give, you give to yourself and same with what you take. Because we are all connected, giving and receiving is really one and the sameI started practicing this, changing my mind set is a process, not an event so it takes time. I started noticing things in a different way. I remind myself when I am down to my last $100 to not feel "broke" and hold on to it for dear life. When I give I feel great when I hoard I dont feel as goodI was in the supermaket, there was an elderly lady before me in the queue, she had about five items, bread, milk, eggs, salted cod and a packet of tea. She waited as they rung up her bill, she did not have enough money, she left the items and walked out looking crestfallen I looked at it I was in the store and I am searching through my bag to see how much cash I really had I wanted to pay for it for her- I was searching in my bag to determine the amount that I had because I did not have much- I lived wayyy beyond my means for the month- and still waiting on cash for work or books I sold earlier- so when I did the analysis of my cash flow it was my turn in the line, I asked the cashier how much was the bill? to hold a bit please, I ran outside to look for the lady- she was gone, not a sight of herI came back inside, asked the cashier- do you know that lady? She responded that she looked familiar from coming in the store but no she didn't know herI kicked myself! slow slow and slow because I was over thinking about how much I would have left for my own stuff

I walked out of there feeling a huge crappy!
all the why's coming up
I was walking so I kept looking for the lady nowhere she was to be seen.
Later on in the day  another opportunity presented itself - I ended up buying 3 orange juices for a man and his two children which I did without hesitation. and my feeling, my mood, my vibe was raised. Giving is living and that is all
Peace

Because I'm worth it

If you are excited about forming a relationship based on what it looks like you can get, rather than what you can give, you have started off on the wrong foot entirely, and you could be heading for a big disappointment.
The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context within which you can express the fullness of who you are. And who you are is an experience you have before you enter relationship, not because you did. Neale Donald WalshI have been asked a couple if times this week to talk at events for free and some big ones as well, I immediately said yes before the fact that it was to be gratis was made known . I was raising my fist,pumping it high, jumping up and screaming "yes! yes! yes! because I was so happy to be asked to speak at this particular event! I got home and looked at my budget and realized that I was way behind, off target and really skating through this month by the seat of my pants! Oh boy!! what's a girl to do? I already committed to this, it is one of my dreams to be speaking at International Women's Day events and to be given an opportunity to share lessons on the journey is always a joy.I  decided that I must come up with a strategy for these requests and part of this strategy is knowing and believing that I am worthy, saying yes from a space of sharing, caring and love rather than fear of not being given another opportunity.
I had a convo with myself right there and then "act like you are getting paid, know that you are worth it and show up there and make anyone coming to the event never think twice about offering you something when you speak" I want to build a relationship with this association, and so I am willing to give in order to create it. I am willing to express the fullness of who I am in that forum and moment in order to not only share lessons on the journey but to be a demonstration of what is possible by giving.
According to the Course in Miracles, when you give in love, you are really giving to yourselfPeace

What actually matters to you?

The question is, what actually matters to you? Does beauty matter? Does comfort matter? Does stability have great meaning for you, or the capacity to travel the world? If you say it matters to you, then it matters . Danielle La PorteAs I was reading this morning - "what actually matters to me?" I had to take a pause. I paused to think about it  and in my thinking I thought isn't this something that I ought to know easily? But if I am not paying attention I will have to sit and ponder about itDo the exercise with an open mind and willing spirit. It really is an eye opener! What is it that is super important to you? Is it working? Is it bringing you joy? Is it healthy for your mind, body and spirit? Is it harmless to you and the people around you?What matters to me? My familyMy healthBeing a demonstration of what is possibleKindnessHonestyAuthenticityReal people (as opposed to fake ones)PositivityNatureTravelling the worldArsenal Football ClubSharing lessons on the journeyWomen and youth empowermentChocolate with peanuts and sometimes saltSpirituality A Loving, abundant and honest relationshipjust to name a few......What actually matters to you?Peace

The Good Day Has Begun..

Creating your reality is 100% about directing your mind towards of how you want to live your life. It's about being a conscious creator aligning yourself with your hearts desires. The paradox here is "you're too busy" to do this, so you unconsciously create scenarios you might not want, based on the thoughts and emotions you're entertaining. When you lose sight of this kind of power that's your true birthright, you get into a frenzy of trying so hard which adds more stress into your life. Take back that power today and realize that you are a creator of your reality. Maxie Mc Coy

Life is indeed unpredictable because as human beings we do not and cannot know everything that will happen and the way it will happen. (how boring would that be anyway!) everyday I look forward to because this much I know, it will bring some level of surprise and newness to me that will have me saying wow! And that may be wow with a big smile or wow with a big sigh. Both come bearing gifts for me
Everyday shows me that as much as I want to control I cannot, all I have is my thoughts and responses about the events which occur. What I think about it and how I respond to them. And what I have learnt is in this thinking and response is
1. there is nothing to fear
2. the situation comes bearing a gift or a message
3. this too shall pass
4. pay attention
5. sometimes people's actions are a reflection of their own experiences which involves pain too and their holding on to it
6. let it go
7. feel the feelings, feel it all

And so when I remember those lessons I am able to better navigate the situation and act from a place of love rather than fear, and hell yeah at times I forget and I react. I react from a place of ego- "what's wrong with them, what's wring with me? "I refuse to deal with this" and all sorts of nonsense. But life is still so good to me and as I do that life will continue to guide me towards where I ought to be if only, if only, I pay attention.
Yesterday I planned my day to the hour- nothing on the list made it!! I ended up at a Chinese cultural show which was so awesome, to see their culture and recognize that all of us are the same, I sat there thinking OMG I have not achieved anything on my to do list and here I am slacking off but then I came back to the now moment and realised that this is where I am supposed to be pay attention and be all in. People are the same wherever we are, accepting our differences is an important part of living a harmonious life.

Today my NiNa Programme resumes I am so excited!
Vibez you on the other side
Peace!

Ask yourself why has a piece of you abandoned you?

If we set aside any ego investment in the situation, then only love will flow though us, and it will be expressed in a form that would be appropriate in that specific situation . ACIM 
the only relationship you ever have is the one you are having with yourself. Other people show up in your life as a demonstration of how you are being, what you are believing and how you are behaving with yourself, within yourself. I also know that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.Lifetime relationships are those bound by blood lines such as parents, siblings and those with who you bring children to life. So, it is not clear to me that one person is meant for another person unless their is a reason for them to be together; in the season they are meant to be together. As we deepen and become more present in the relationship with ourselves, we attract people, who can give us more of who we are. At the physical and intellectual levels of being, it is easy to believe that there is one person with whom you are meant to spend your time and living. If or when that person chooses not to be in relationship with you any longer, we can get stuck in the belief that they were the one and will always be the one. The issue in that case is why has a piece of you abandoned you? Or, more appropriately, what part of you have you abandoned? , everything is the way it needs to be. So, if someone you love leaves your life, even if for a while, it is exactly what needs to happen. The choice to wait for their return or, as you say, circling back, is a choice that you will need to make for yourself, within yourself. I for one neither choose to wait or be weighted down by waitingPeace

I'm so much prettier when I let it go, let it go

I'm so much prettier when I let it go, let it go
I'm just so beautiful when I let it go, let it go
I'm just, I'm so much prettier
When I let it go, let it go, I'm so beautiful  When I let it go, let it go, let it go Jill Scott


Note to self: Let it go
When the decision you made did not get you to where you thought you out to be- let it go
When you didn't get the job or promotion that you thought would make your life all worth it- let it go
When the guy you thought was a good one stops talking like you, just like that - let it go
When you put your foot in your mouth at an important event - let it go
You're just so much more beautiful when you let it go

When your co-worker says something you believe is totally insensitive - let it go
When you hire  cleaners and they break your faucet while cleaning the bathroom- let it go
When the cash you need to pay your bills was spent on something else and you are worried that you have little or no cash until the next gig - let it go
You're so much prettier when you let it go

Letting it go doesn't  mean not dealing with it, ignoring it or putting it out of sight, it is loving yourself out of the situation, showing compassion to yourself and not worrying about how you look especially to other people. It means  acknowledgement, acceptance and movement towards..... love... love of self, love of life and all the messages it is sending you. Don't stay stuck there, take the message and act, ask - what are you telling me? then pay attention to the response

Peace

Self Love requires humility

Sometimes, we “act” like we love ourselves so that we don’t have to change.  I Love myself completely and no changes are required, I’m THAT rad. Except our spirit very much wants to change what’s not working for our lives. But we’re afraid (often misdiagnosed as lazy or arrogant) to do what it takes to change. Fake self Love can turn into a cop out for really growing.


What do you say when people as you "How are you?" Do you have a standard response? A positive or not so positive?
Self love is really a journey, one that sometimes finds you down roads and paths that are completely unknown, it is a conscious decision that involves some inner work and home truths
Before I knew this, my concept of self love was pampering - pedicures, manicures, massages, facial most likely including a spa day throw in come wool bathrobes and cucumber over my eyes and there you go, overflowing with self love. And having tried that a few times there was still a void inside me, I kept asking myself what is going on?
And this is what I have learnt

1. Self Love is a decision to be your absolute full whole self
2. Self Love is a decision to embrace your freedom
3. Self Love requires humility and the ability to hear the truth
4. Self Love takes courage to make decisions that are uncomfortable, against the status quo and different
5. Self Love is not about being defensive, making excuses and accepting other people's lies and bad behaviour in the name of "it's not the right time or I will deal with it when I am good and ready"
6. Self Love takes patience
7. Self Love is your birthright and all the love you are searching for is right within you
The question is - how much love can you stand?
Peace