Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 176
April 23, 2016
Bondaries
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. We can't base our own worthiness on others' approval (and this is coming from someone who spent years trying to please everyone!). Only when we believe, deep down, that we are
enough can we say "Enough!"
Brene Brown
How do you set boundaries? Do you have boundaries? Do you know what boundaries are? How can I set boundaries? These are questions that surfaced in my pool yesterday
Why? I believe it did because of my deep desire to keep the peace, people please, and avoid confrontation. This week working with a team showed me that I must choose courage over comfort and set some boundaries for myself - and that involves me knowing without a shadow of a doubt what I want, what is okay for me and knowing that whatever the outcome of letting people know this I will be okay
Pretty sobering thoughts right there
Onwards to setting boundaries....
Peace!
How do you set boundaries? Do you have boundaries? Do you know what boundaries are? How can I set boundaries? These are questions that surfaced in my pool yesterday
Why? I believe it did because of my deep desire to keep the peace, people please, and avoid confrontation. This week working with a team showed me that I must choose courage over comfort and set some boundaries for myself - and that involves me knowing without a shadow of a doubt what I want, what is okay for me and knowing that whatever the outcome of letting people know this I will be okay
Pretty sobering thoughts right there
Onwards to setting boundaries....
Peace!
April 22, 2016
They showed up
Personal Power - it is the source of influence and authority in every aspect of your life and your ability to exercise that influence consistently and constructively
- Iyanla Vanzant
Today at the NiNa - a young women entrepreneurship programme that I developed and work with in schools - I sat listening to the 15 young ladies present their business models to a panel of three judges (who by the way rocked today thank you so much to Helen Tonia and Tisha) I felt so happy, contented and full of joy
You see, the journey to here was one that started with 15 young ladies who did not even contemplate that they would find, present and enjoy this moment- and here we were, six weeks later full of confidence- those ladies SHOWED UP! they showed up- magical things happen when we show up
And even if none of them ever go into business I pray that they remember the day that they showed up proud, ready and open!
Peace
Today at the NiNa - a young women entrepreneurship programme that I developed and work with in schools - I sat listening to the 15 young ladies present their business models to a panel of three judges (who by the way rocked today thank you so much to Helen Tonia and Tisha) I felt so happy, contented and full of joy
You see, the journey to here was one that started with 15 young ladies who did not even contemplate that they would find, present and enjoy this moment- and here we were, six weeks later full of confidence- those ladies SHOWED UP! they showed up- magical things happen when we show up
And even if none of them ever go into business I pray that they remember the day that they showed up proud, ready and open!
Peace
April 21, 2016
Push beyond what you know
Take a risk and push yourself beyond what you know
- Iyanla Vanzant
How boring would life be if I knew everything? If there were no new discoveries on my journey?
I love learning new things, going to new places, I feel a real sense of joy when I have a penny dropping moment or someone shows me a new way of doing something or I read something for the first time. Curiosity won't kill this cat!
Sometimes however, the new thing is uncomfortable and seemingly risky, it brings up things stored inside that have been buried consciously or unconsciously. This is where we choose to push back and stay in the familiar comfortable place even if it is not contributing to our growth development or evolution. Just because it is familiar.
Today I was having a conversation with a friend - my perspective was ok what's going on, I believe I am doing the "right" thing so why am I feeling stuck and confused? why is there push back? And she said to me - "you have your way of handling situations, you choose to take what some will call the highroad - is that working for ya here?"
Hmm
"why don't you try a new way? do a new thing?"
OMG! she was right!
Time to do a new thing - because you know I am one who believes in there is no try, it is do or don't
Do a new thing, take a risk, push yourself beyond what you know and then push some more
It's like exercising, or running a race- you won't know if you can until you do it, there is no amount of reading or Googling or simulation or talking about it that will substitute for actually doing it
And so I learnt a new thing today, life remains exciting
Peace
How boring would life be if I knew everything? If there were no new discoveries on my journey?
I love learning new things, going to new places, I feel a real sense of joy when I have a penny dropping moment or someone shows me a new way of doing something or I read something for the first time. Curiosity won't kill this cat!
Sometimes however, the new thing is uncomfortable and seemingly risky, it brings up things stored inside that have been buried consciously or unconsciously. This is where we choose to push back and stay in the familiar comfortable place even if it is not contributing to our growth development or evolution. Just because it is familiar.
Today I was having a conversation with a friend - my perspective was ok what's going on, I believe I am doing the "right" thing so why am I feeling stuck and confused? why is there push back? And she said to me - "you have your way of handling situations, you choose to take what some will call the highroad - is that working for ya here?"
Hmm
"why don't you try a new way? do a new thing?"
OMG! she was right!
Time to do a new thing - because you know I am one who believes in there is no try, it is do or don't
Do a new thing, take a risk, push yourself beyond what you know and then push some more
It's like exercising, or running a race- you won't know if you can until you do it, there is no amount of reading or Googling or simulation or talking about it that will substitute for actually doing it
And so I learnt a new thing today, life remains exciting
Peace
April 20, 2016
Wild and Wonderful Possibility
The big life…one that changes your life and others…is anything but normal and everything other than average. It’s cultivated in that truly uncomfortable space of finally letting go of things without rushing to grab something else. Maxie McCoy
I was reading, as I do on mornings as part of my rituals to be a positive person for the day, and what struck me on the passage was a line where the question was - are you always trying to fill a space, rather than getting still, waiting for the answer? Or do you just find a filler? So you want a particular job - you take anything to fill the space rather than either asking for what you want or do you settle?Do you just get into a relationship to avoid being alone? Settling again?What is your fear in getting still, asking for what you want, waiting and maintaining your standards?Man that shit is scary, I must admit! the fear of losing, the perception that something is better than nothingAnd I have learnt that the Gap. Space. Pause. The place where you’re not sure. The place where anything could happen…is actually the greatest stage of all: it’s possibility. Wild and wonderful possibility. The possibility for your greatest dreams and your ultimate path to reveal itself to you. The space for genius. For breakthrough. For a struggle that will lead you to a giant YES instead of a mediocre maybe.
I was reading, as I do on mornings as part of my rituals to be a positive person for the day, and what struck me on the passage was a line where the question was - are you always trying to fill a space, rather than getting still, waiting for the answer? Or do you just find a filler? So you want a particular job - you take anything to fill the space rather than either asking for what you want or do you settle?Do you just get into a relationship to avoid being alone? Settling again?What is your fear in getting still, asking for what you want, waiting and maintaining your standards?Man that shit is scary, I must admit! the fear of losing, the perception that something is better than nothingAnd I have learnt that the Gap. Space. Pause. The place where you’re not sure. The place where anything could happen…is actually the greatest stage of all: it’s possibility. Wild and wonderful possibility. The possibility for your greatest dreams and your ultimate path to reveal itself to you. The space for genius. For breakthrough. For a struggle that will lead you to a giant YES instead of a mediocre maybe.
April 19, 2016
You are it
Ready to address that which she had attempted to avoid
Ready to embrace that which she had attempted to deny
She placed all other distractions aside
And finally committed to her relationship with herself Natalie Stewart
Readiness - the definition of readiness is willingness to do something
Are you willing? - free from reluctance?
That is all it takes I have learnt- the mind shift that says I am no longer reluctant to do this new thing, this different thing no matter what I am no longer reluctant, I am ready.
To do something different takes a change of mind, a feeling of belief and ACTION, dare to believe
I have been having some serious challenges with abundance and I learnt the lesson
The whole abundance and manifestation thing I had it backwardI was searching outside of myself, I thought, ok if I get these things, these symbols it would give me permission to feel abundantI believed that I needed to have the thing to be itAnd so I was chasing- chasing after the things, the symbols instead of believing that I am it, newsflash I am it!if you are it, you manifest it but most importantly you keep it
I thought ok if I get the house and car and stuff It would give me permission to think that I was abundantIf I get the fit and sexy body it would give me permission to think that I was sexyIf I get the specific job it would give me permission to think I was successfulIf I get the relationship it would give me permission to think that I am lovableLife does not work that way I have learntIts not - you get the stuff and because you get the stuff you get to be itI am it!I am loveI am abundanceI am enoughHey the question is am I willing to be it, to believe it?
The biggest challenge is believing and shifting how I think about myselfPeace
April 18, 2016
How can we tell...?
The universe brings to us other people who show us who and what we are. If we do not understand what is really going on or recognize the lessons we must learn, we mistake our own issues as the shortcomings of others
. Iyanla Vanzant
How can we tell the difference between when we are learning and teaching?
How can we tell the difference between a mirror and an illusion?
How can we tell the difference between learning to be still and being stagnant?
How can we tell the difference between being defensive and setting boundaries?
Truth be told I have been asking myself these questions over the last few months
I think I am at the point where I can say that getting still feels peaceful and even more than that, everything is useful
I am still figuring the rest out.
Any ideas any of you wish to share?
Peace
How can we tell the difference between when we are learning and teaching?
How can we tell the difference between a mirror and an illusion?
How can we tell the difference between learning to be still and being stagnant?
How can we tell the difference between being defensive and setting boundaries?
Truth be told I have been asking myself these questions over the last few months
I think I am at the point where I can say that getting still feels peaceful and even more than that, everything is useful
I am still figuring the rest out.
Any ideas any of you wish to share?
Peace
April 16, 2016
In my mind
My heart will soar
With love that's rare and real
My smiling face will feel every cloud
Then higher still beyond the blue until
I know I can like any man reach out my hand And touch the face of God
Did I tell you that everything here is fine..... in my mind
Al Jarreau
I listen to this song almost every morning
and sing it loud too
"Did I tell you that everything is just fine here in my mind, searching high and low and now at last I know"
Oh man, it absolutely raises my spirit
"I was shaking but now I am doing just fine.... here in my mind"
I take responsibility for what I am feeling, what energy I bring to the table, to the room because
everything is just fine .... in MY mind
Who's mind? Mine! because all I have responsibility is for my own self!
just thought I would share one of my rituals on the journey
What are some of your rituals?
Peace
With love that's rare and real
My smiling face will feel every cloud
Then higher still beyond the blue until
I know I can like any man reach out my hand And touch the face of God
Did I tell you that everything here is fine..... in my mind
Al Jarreau
I listen to this song almost every morning
and sing it loud too
"Did I tell you that everything is just fine here in my mind, searching high and low and now at last I know"
Oh man, it absolutely raises my spirit
"I was shaking but now I am doing just fine.... here in my mind"
I take responsibility for what I am feeling, what energy I bring to the table, to the room because
everything is just fine .... in MY mind
Who's mind? Mine! because all I have responsibility is for my own self!
just thought I would share one of my rituals on the journey
What are some of your rituals?
Peace
April 15, 2016
You just know things will never be the same
There is a pivotal moment in every circumstance, where change is palpable. Where you just know that things will never be the same
There comes a time when enough is enough, when you are at a point of no return, when you just know that this is it, no turning back! When you know that you know that you know
What happens when you chicken out as you reach to that point? What do you do?
The thing is, when you discover and know the truth you cannot undo finding out and knowing the truth.
Acting like you don't know sets you up for pressure, as we say here, and heartache and even illness. You cannot go back into a state of not knowing.
I know when it is time for me to make a move, I know, I truly do and saying I don't know is no longer a part of my vocabulary when I know but I don't want to act, even if I don't know my new mantra is "I will figure it out"
Fear is a hell of a hold! I get scared, I mean scared like a bat in the light - feel the fear and do it anyway I chant over and over again and I jump and boom! the parachute opens. Scared or not I know that things have to, must change because I know the truth and I cannot go back to not knowing. The fear of facing the truth is less than the freedom from taking action and coming out on the other side.
When the fear takes hold of me I invite it in and have a chat with it - a nice long chat, we sometimes cuse each other, for a slight minute and then we become friends again.
And here's the thing some of the scariest things you do leads you to the biggest lessons- sometimes they may not have an ending that you desire - and many many times it is even better than ever imagined.
Peace!
There comes a time when enough is enough, when you are at a point of no return, when you just know that this is it, no turning back! When you know that you know that you know
What happens when you chicken out as you reach to that point? What do you do?
The thing is, when you discover and know the truth you cannot undo finding out and knowing the truth.
Acting like you don't know sets you up for pressure, as we say here, and heartache and even illness. You cannot go back into a state of not knowing.
I know when it is time for me to make a move, I know, I truly do and saying I don't know is no longer a part of my vocabulary when I know but I don't want to act, even if I don't know my new mantra is "I will figure it out"
Fear is a hell of a hold! I get scared, I mean scared like a bat in the light - feel the fear and do it anyway I chant over and over again and I jump and boom! the parachute opens. Scared or not I know that things have to, must change because I know the truth and I cannot go back to not knowing. The fear of facing the truth is less than the freedom from taking action and coming out on the other side.
When the fear takes hold of me I invite it in and have a chat with it - a nice long chat, we sometimes cuse each other, for a slight minute and then we become friends again.
And here's the thing some of the scariest things you do leads you to the biggest lessons- sometimes they may not have an ending that you desire - and many many times it is even better than ever imagined.
Peace!
April 14, 2016
Patience is part of the journey
Patience is natural to those who trust. Sure of the ultimate interpretation of all things in time, no outcome already seen or yet to come can cause them fear
. ACIM
I used to tell myself to be patient I would say “your time is coming, blessings are on the way” This mind-set kept me envying other people’s turns and overlooking today in favour of some tomorrow.Patience is important but it’s more than simply waiting for results, resolutions, blessings or anything else. It’s about seeing the goodness right in front of you and being grateful in the moment.
Even when you are working hard + stretching yourself to fulfil your dream. Be patient by embracing the journey for growth + the loveNot for bragging rights or proof of your worthBe willing to experience everything your journey has to offer and don’t try to skip lessons that life brings youWithout patience you are always unsatisfied, focused on lack, waiting for the next thingWithout patience you spend your whole life missing your greatest blessing which is the journey itselfCatch thatPeace
I used to tell myself to be patient I would say “your time is coming, blessings are on the way” This mind-set kept me envying other people’s turns and overlooking today in favour of some tomorrow.Patience is important but it’s more than simply waiting for results, resolutions, blessings or anything else. It’s about seeing the goodness right in front of you and being grateful in the moment.
Even when you are working hard + stretching yourself to fulfil your dream. Be patient by embracing the journey for growth + the loveNot for bragging rights or proof of your worthBe willing to experience everything your journey has to offer and don’t try to skip lessons that life brings youWithout patience you are always unsatisfied, focused on lack, waiting for the next thingWithout patience you spend your whole life missing your greatest blessing which is the journey itselfCatch thatPeace
April 13, 2016
Nothing is random
Cause just like a tree planted - planted by the rivers of water
That bringeth forth fruits - bringeth forth fruits in due season;
Everything in life got its purpose,
Find its reason in every season,
Forever, yeah! (the absolute legend BoB Marley)
Nothing is random, nothing and no one is random, no one
The dots are all connected and the experiences all matter for a lesson, some lesson
The free will that we have is just that- free will to choose how we respond to the signs of life
We make choices there are consequences
The great philosopher Lauren Hill says "consequence is no coincidence" cause and effect and all that
It really is just that simple.
I met a lady last year in a store, she just came from the gym, she usually never go to that store, this was my first time at the store, a friend introduced us and little did I know that so called "random" meeting would lead me to having the support to realize one of my dreams. She was on the committee for a Literary Festival that I always dreamed of being invited to, she called me last night and asked me to be involved and will put it into motion if I say yes
Yes yes yes! Are you kidding?
And so, random and seasons and purpose - yeah they mean something to me
What's a random thing you thought happened to you?
Share!!
Peace
That bringeth forth fruits - bringeth forth fruits in due season;
Everything in life got its purpose,
Find its reason in every season,
Forever, yeah! (the absolute legend BoB Marley)
Nothing is random, nothing and no one is random, no one
The dots are all connected and the experiences all matter for a lesson, some lesson
The free will that we have is just that- free will to choose how we respond to the signs of life
We make choices there are consequences
The great philosopher Lauren Hill says "consequence is no coincidence" cause and effect and all that
It really is just that simple.
I met a lady last year in a store, she just came from the gym, she usually never go to that store, this was my first time at the store, a friend introduced us and little did I know that so called "random" meeting would lead me to having the support to realize one of my dreams. She was on the committee for a Literary Festival that I always dreamed of being invited to, she called me last night and asked me to be involved and will put it into motion if I say yes
Yes yes yes! Are you kidding?
And so, random and seasons and purpose - yeah they mean something to me
What's a random thing you thought happened to you?
Share!!
Peace
