Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 116
May 22, 2018
New Naratives on Being Strong
I used to think strong meant being tough, cold, hard, but I know now that that type of strength is a mask I used to cover up my fears and insecurities. Being strong has a lot more to do with softness than what I was originally brought up to believe
Alexix Johnson
The image I had of a strong woman was one who never cried or showed emotions in front of others, can take multiple hits (life setbacks) and still remain standing and of course, look like a diva while at it.
I myself wanted to live up to that image
What I have learnt is, I can be soft and strong at the same time
I have learnt that vulnerability is strength and showing up real takes an enormous level of courage
Women are nurturers, we have the intuition thing down pact! The emotions we have are natural guides, to surpress that? for what?
I don't need a definition of some far away TV land of what strong is and this is a different time! I don't have to pretend to be a robot and not show emotion to anyone in the name of being strong!
If being strong means hiding feelings, and supressing my true self then it's not for me!
So, do you have your own definition of what strong is>
Share it with us
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook
The image I had of a strong woman was one who never cried or showed emotions in front of others, can take multiple hits (life setbacks) and still remain standing and of course, look like a diva while at it.
I myself wanted to live up to that image
What I have learnt is, I can be soft and strong at the same time
I have learnt that vulnerability is strength and showing up real takes an enormous level of courage
Women are nurturers, we have the intuition thing down pact! The emotions we have are natural guides, to surpress that? for what?
I don't need a definition of some far away TV land of what strong is and this is a different time! I don't have to pretend to be a robot and not show emotion to anyone in the name of being strong!
If being strong means hiding feelings, and supressing my true self then it's not for me!
So, do you have your own definition of what strong is>
Share it with us
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on
May 21, 2018
In Stillness Magic Happens
Everything that's created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness
Wayne Dyer
Yesterday a few friends and I decided to walk through the rain forest to see the Turure Falls. I have always wanted to go there and the opportunity presented itself yesterday which I took with both hands!
The drive to the entrance was just about an hour, then we had to park the car and walk through the rainforest to find the falls. The beauty of the falls we heard, is that there are 4 levels like fully formed steps, straight out of nature! I was excited to see this.
Whilst walking through the rain forest, the silence was deafening! The stillness was breathtaking, it actually woke me up. It almost felt like a bolt into my consciousness to say - take some time to be still, to be silent, to be awake!
The little reminders are always on time
We revel in the busyness of life, it is used as a validation of worth
We are too busy to eat properly
too busy to exercise
too busy to call a loved one
too busy to go to the doctor or dentist
too busy to sleep
Why?
Many times we want to feel important
Here is what I leant
Silence and stillness is also important, in fact, it is a powerful force
Have you heard the sun rise?
Have you heard the sun set?
Have you heard the moon come out?
Have you heard the sperm and the egg connect?
Sometimes the loudest lesson comes in silence
Peace
Have you Read Akosua's Books
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook
Yesterday a few friends and I decided to walk through the rain forest to see the Turure Falls. I have always wanted to go there and the opportunity presented itself yesterday which I took with both hands!
The drive to the entrance was just about an hour, then we had to park the car and walk through the rainforest to find the falls. The beauty of the falls we heard, is that there are 4 levels like fully formed steps, straight out of nature! I was excited to see this.
Whilst walking through the rain forest, the silence was deafening! The stillness was breathtaking, it actually woke me up. It almost felt like a bolt into my consciousness to say - take some time to be still, to be silent, to be awake!
The little reminders are always on time
We revel in the busyness of life, it is used as a validation of worth
We are too busy to eat properly
too busy to exercise
too busy to call a loved one
too busy to go to the doctor or dentist
too busy to sleep
Why?
Many times we want to feel important
Here is what I leant
Silence and stillness is also important, in fact, it is a powerful force
Have you heard the sun rise?
Have you heard the sun set?
Have you heard the moon come out?
Have you heard the sperm and the egg connect?
Sometimes the loudest lesson comes in silence
Peace
Have you Read Akosua's Books
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua on
May 18, 2018
You Live What You Believe
What you believe, you will repeat, over and over
- Iyanla Vanzant
Core beliefs contribute to our decisions and ultimately our lives. There are times that our core beliefs limit our growth. Unconsciously we believe what we were taught as children many times after we have either outgrown them. We believe some of the religious core beliefs even though they may not be relevant to the times. Myths handed down that are not questioned may also lead to a life less fulfilled.
So, the question is, what do you believe? And if you don't know for sure, look at your life, whatever is inside will manifests itself into your reality. It really is that simple
The part which may be challenging is accepting and facing the unconscious beliefs.
So if you believe that you are unworthy or not enough this is what you you will attract into your life
You attract what you believe!
If you believe you are the bees knees, you will treat yourself accordingly
Belive baby, Believe!!
Have you Read Akosua's Work:
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Core beliefs contribute to our decisions and ultimately our lives. There are times that our core beliefs limit our growth. Unconsciously we believe what we were taught as children many times after we have either outgrown them. We believe some of the religious core beliefs even though they may not be relevant to the times. Myths handed down that are not questioned may also lead to a life less fulfilled.
So, the question is, what do you believe? And if you don't know for sure, look at your life, whatever is inside will manifests itself into your reality. It really is that simple
The part which may be challenging is accepting and facing the unconscious beliefs.
So if you believe that you are unworthy or not enough this is what you you will attract into your life
You attract what you believe!
If you believe you are the bees knees, you will treat yourself accordingly
Belive baby, Believe!!
Have you Read Akosua's Work:
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
May 17, 2018
Are You Ready to Do What It Takes?
Ask For What You Want and Let the Universe Fill In The Details
- Iyanla Vanzant
Asking for what I want has historically been a challenge. Why?
1. As a child it would usually come with either a lecture or a no
2. As a wife and partner it would sometimes come with "stop being a nag"
3. As an employee it sometimes would result in changed conditions.
So what do I do?
Stay in the corner and don't rock the boat.
After a while feel a sense of resentment
Health issues ensue when the resentment builds up and then shit hits fan
If it is not dealt with the cycly continue
So asking for what you want takes courage, it takes willingness, it takes persistence and determination, it takes guts, it takes backbone, it takes doing the work.
Are you ready to do what it takes to get what you want?
Peace
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Asking for what I want has historically been a challenge. Why?
1. As a child it would usually come with either a lecture or a no
2. As a wife and partner it would sometimes come with "stop being a nag"
3. As an employee it sometimes would result in changed conditions.
So what do I do?
Stay in the corner and don't rock the boat.
After a while feel a sense of resentment
Health issues ensue when the resentment builds up and then shit hits fan
If it is not dealt with the cycly continue
So asking for what you want takes courage, it takes willingness, it takes persistence and determination, it takes guts, it takes backbone, it takes doing the work.
Are you ready to do what it takes to get what you want?
Peace
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
May 16, 2018
Hold Still
“Hold still. Stay there. Tease back the layers. You are in the space between your comfort zone and infinity. You want to hide. Not be seen. Not be open. Not be vulnerable. But you have to. There are two ways to do this – soft and gentle or fast and hard. Both will get you to the other side, if you let them.” – Jeanette LeBlanc
The entire concept of feel the feelings took on a whole other level of significance for me!
Yesterday I was listening to a conversation, and let me tell you, it is the barefaced truth that we can get lessons from anyone and from anywhere!
The conversation was centered around how busy she was and how strong she had to be for her kids while going through a divorce. Strong enough to sign up for a PhD and to keep it together with no tears!
So why no tears? Why is that strong? - well because I don't want the kids to see me as weak and crying all the time
So why are you so busy with doing a PhD - well I have to provide for my children
Is it okay for the kids to not see you at all, whilst you are having class at night? And do you need a PhD to provide for your children?
What do you believe about crying is weak? What is the alternative to crying? How do you let out your heartbreak in a healthy way?
Many times we mask our feelings and look for external validation
We hide the feelings and it manifests in anger towards others, busyness, and sickness
Many times we look for external validation to let us know that we are okay
more qualifications, more brand names, more material possessions
So, why not feel the feelings
Why not spend some time with the kids then go to your room and cry?
Why not?
It kills two birds- spending time with your peeps and releasing the hurt!
And it cost less too!
Peace
The entire concept of feel the feelings took on a whole other level of significance for me!
Yesterday I was listening to a conversation, and let me tell you, it is the barefaced truth that we can get lessons from anyone and from anywhere!
The conversation was centered around how busy she was and how strong she had to be for her kids while going through a divorce. Strong enough to sign up for a PhD and to keep it together with no tears!
So why no tears? Why is that strong? - well because I don't want the kids to see me as weak and crying all the time
So why are you so busy with doing a PhD - well I have to provide for my children
Is it okay for the kids to not see you at all, whilst you are having class at night? And do you need a PhD to provide for your children?
What do you believe about crying is weak? What is the alternative to crying? How do you let out your heartbreak in a healthy way?
Many times we mask our feelings and look for external validation
We hide the feelings and it manifests in anger towards others, busyness, and sickness
Many times we look for external validation to let us know that we are okay
more qualifications, more brand names, more material possessions
So, why not feel the feelings
Why not spend some time with the kids then go to your room and cry?
Why not?
It kills two birds- spending time with your peeps and releasing the hurt!
And it cost less too!
Peace
May 15, 2018
Make Better Choices
Life is made up of an infinite amount of choices. Most decisions, such as what you’ll eat for lunch today, are small and only slightly impactful, but it’s the big decisions—the ones that can change your life forever
—that are tough to make.
- Lydia Sweat
In January of every year I come up with three different mantras for the year. For 2018, my three mantra's were
1. Make Better Choices
2. Show up Real
3. Let go when you have done all you can
The second and third one has been easier. Make better choices has been the challenge.
Why? I act on impulse, I feel it, I do it. When I follow my intuition it works out swimmingly! it may not even make an inkling of sense the feeling and the doing it. But I press ahead like a champion.
When the decision is made in fear, the outcome is fear based.
So when faced with a decision, the mantra kicks in "Make Better Choices"
Once I get still, my intuition whispers to me
Once I get busy the fear steps in
Make Better Choices - choose in Love not Fear
Make Better Choices - choose your intuition sometimes over logic
Make Better Choices - think about the big picture
Make Better Choices - believe in yourself
Gentle reminder to self!
Peace
In January of every year I come up with three different mantras for the year. For 2018, my three mantra's were
1. Make Better Choices
2. Show up Real
3. Let go when you have done all you can
The second and third one has been easier. Make better choices has been the challenge.
Why? I act on impulse, I feel it, I do it. When I follow my intuition it works out swimmingly! it may not even make an inkling of sense the feeling and the doing it. But I press ahead like a champion.
When the decision is made in fear, the outcome is fear based.
So when faced with a decision, the mantra kicks in "Make Better Choices"
Once I get still, my intuition whispers to me
Once I get busy the fear steps in
Make Better Choices - choose in Love not Fear
Make Better Choices - choose your intuition sometimes over logic
Make Better Choices - think about the big picture
Make Better Choices - believe in yourself
Gentle reminder to self!
Peace
May 12, 2018
Difficult Conversations
Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure
you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.”
Douglas Stone
Difficult conversations are just that, difficult!
I still avoid them like the plague, less so now
As a recovering people pleaser I abolutely cringe in making peole who I like or respect mad. I know, I know, it is part of life that everyone will never see eye to eye with all our philosohies and beliefs. That is all well and good in theory, in the real world it scares the bejesus out of me! I usually dance around it and skip around it until what happens? either shit hits fan or the person disappears from my circle. Both scenarious that could have been avoided with only a willingness to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability takes a whole heap of guts, let me tell ya!
So here is what I have learned in having difficult conversations:
1. Be willing to be wrong.
2. Show up real.
3. Be willing to walk away
4. Don't hide your feelings- feel them
5. Know that you cannot please anyone.
6. Be fully engaged.
Peace
Difficult conversations are just that, difficult!
I still avoid them like the plague, less so now
As a recovering people pleaser I abolutely cringe in making peole who I like or respect mad. I know, I know, it is part of life that everyone will never see eye to eye with all our philosohies and beliefs. That is all well and good in theory, in the real world it scares the bejesus out of me! I usually dance around it and skip around it until what happens? either shit hits fan or the person disappears from my circle. Both scenarious that could have been avoided with only a willingness to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability takes a whole heap of guts, let me tell ya!
So here is what I have learned in having difficult conversations:
1. Be willing to be wrong.
2. Show up real.
3. Be willing to walk away
4. Don't hide your feelings- feel them
5. Know that you cannot please anyone.
6. Be fully engaged.
Peace
May 11, 2018
Wealth Can Come from Within
Most people are kept in a state of fear, jealousy, competition, comparison, complaining, and disillusionment. This leaves you open to be easily manipulated and controlled. You are convinced that you need money in order to have worth. This belief will indeed keep you poor. The wealth that we are speaking about is the wealth that comes from being a sovereign and free spirit and in alignment with the true knowing of who we are . Maryam Hasna
The world we live in is one where money is a requirement for survival. Money, they say, make the world go round. Many of us have grown up around the beliefs that without money we are nothing, that we are less than or that our lives will be less than as we are not able to afford the finer things in life.
The majority of our decisions are made "because we have money" or "because we have no money"
The challenge begins when these decisions made "because we have no money" starts affecting our self worth and enoughness. It's a creeper, your language starts changing, soon enough you are cutting off yourself from others in the name of "having no money"
The Universal Laws reflect that what we focus on grows, focus on having no money, things being hard, being broke and all that goes with it, attracts more of the same
I am not saying when money is not readily available to you that yu bury your head in the sand or pretend that you have, I am saying that there are certain decisions bing made on the premise that there is no money when sometimes there are creative ways to do what is required, I am also saying that there will be problems when the amount of money available to you at any one time affects your mood, self esteem and enoughness
I love the definition - Money is My Own Natural Energy Yield
The definition reflects our responsibility for our own energy.
There are many decisions that we can make differently despite the non appearance of money at the moment. There are some things you can start, that you can do, that you can believe, that you can speak, that you can focus on until the money comes to you.
Give it some thought
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's Books
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo( Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey
May 10, 2018
Who is In Your Corner?
Who is In Your Corner?
Kate Courageous
This morning I had the absolute honor and priveledge to be invited on to Hearbeat Radio for Women with the Lovely Natacha Jones, Candy and Lisa McLean of MomsConnect to discuss their upcoming Monther's Day event at More Vino South and to chime in on the question "Does it Take A Village?"
I love these conversations because it allows for so many different points of views to be heard and expanded upon.
The conversation really hasd me reflecting on who is in my village.
Who is in your village?
Are they there by default? Did you choose them? Will they remain? Are you even in their village?
And why is this even important?
I think for me, having a safe space is my village, one where I can just be! Where I can unfurl. Where I can fail forward, make mistakes minus the judgement but adding in the constructive loving feedback
Do we just keep people in the village by default? Or do we choose?
Do we feel safe in our village?
Do we have fun in our village?
Do we expand in our village
Ask yourself and then get down to the business of building one because it really does take a village
Peace
This morning I had the absolute honor and priveledge to be invited on to Hearbeat Radio for Women with the Lovely Natacha Jones, Candy and Lisa McLean of MomsConnect to discuss their upcoming Monther's Day event at More Vino South and to chime in on the question "Does it Take A Village?"
I love these conversations because it allows for so many different points of views to be heard and expanded upon.
The conversation really hasd me reflecting on who is in my village.
Who is in your village?
Are they there by default? Did you choose them? Will they remain? Are you even in their village?
And why is this even important?
I think for me, having a safe space is my village, one where I can just be! Where I can unfurl. Where I can fail forward, make mistakes minus the judgement but adding in the constructive loving feedback
Do we just keep people in the village by default? Or do we choose?
Do we feel safe in our village?
Do we have fun in our village?
Do we expand in our village
Ask yourself and then get down to the business of building one because it really does take a village
Peace
May 8, 2018
Self Conscious?
self-consciousness is the assassin of intimacy. And lying is born of self-consciousness.
People lie because they worry about what you're going to think. They lie because they are afraid of how you are going to perceive them. They lie because they are self-conscious.
Stacy Herrera
Self Consciousness as defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary is "uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others"
I wanted to break this down for my own understanding. Confessions on the journey I have been feeling quite self conscious over the last few days.It is indeed an uncomfortable feeling!
"as an object of the observation of others" - this is really the part that floored me. The uncomfortable feeling comes because of the observation of others, it may not even be factual! Sometimes, we make up stories, we compare ourselves, we listen to people who do not know us, we listen to feedback that comes from a space and mindset of fear or status quo then we process it and start feeling uncomfortable, we start reacting to it by how we behave.Gentle reminder to self:1. Set Your Own Standards - High! And then aim to meet them. If you have no standards, get some2. Believe in yourself - or who's gonna???3.Show up ready and prepared - armed with your high standards and self belief4. Keep an open mind - we realy do not know everything!5. Keep going - it takes courage to slay the doubts6. Love yourself through it all - your self talk is important7. Do the work
PeaceHave you read any of Akosua's books? You will not be disappointed!
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Self Consciousness as defined by the Merriam Webster Dictionary is "uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others"
I wanted to break this down for my own understanding. Confessions on the journey I have been feeling quite self conscious over the last few days.It is indeed an uncomfortable feeling!
"as an object of the observation of others" - this is really the part that floored me. The uncomfortable feeling comes because of the observation of others, it may not even be factual! Sometimes, we make up stories, we compare ourselves, we listen to people who do not know us, we listen to feedback that comes from a space and mindset of fear or status quo then we process it and start feeling uncomfortable, we start reacting to it by how we behave.Gentle reminder to self:1. Set Your Own Standards - High! And then aim to meet them. If you have no standards, get some2. Believe in yourself - or who's gonna???3.Show up ready and prepared - armed with your high standards and self belief4. Keep an open mind - we realy do not know everything!5. Keep going - it takes courage to slay the doubts6. Love yourself through it all - your self talk is important7. Do the work
PeaceHave you read any of Akosua's books? You will not be disappointed!
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
