Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 113

Burn Brighter

“Shine with all you have. When someone tries to blow you out, just take their oxygen and burn brighter.” 
― Katelyn S. Bolds
My light bursts through right where I am. Often when you think of this journey, this change of life, you have some idea of what you want to get from it. There is a light calling you and you are moving into it. This is fine if it assists you in moving along your path. However the light I speak of now is not outside of you pulling you: it is at the core of your being, bursting through right where you are. There is no place to go. There is no extra journey you need to take. The power of this magnificence is right where you are.You seem to be looking for something outside of yourself to motivate you, to give you incentive, to give you permission, to give you validation. You sense the anxiousness within yourself and you want to do something, anything, just something.
Way to often you mischaracterize the unrest within you as negativity, the worry, the anxiety, the trepidation that you feel are automatically assumed to be and therefore dismissed as negativity. And you- being so allergic to negativity attempt to run away from these rumblings. Oh no, no ,no ,no, no, No! Don’t run away. That’s just the Light! That’s your own Light. That’s you! That’s something in you that is trying to break out!Your whole being is trying to get your attention saying let me out of here! Let me express. You must learn WHO you are
When you discover more of your light, when you discover more of who you are, you begin to realize that there is not so much work for you to do. As you discover more of who you are, there isn’t any more Velcro on you, no places of attachment for all those false images and false beliefs of who you think you are! Shine your light on yourself. Just shine no matter what! Peace!Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
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Decisions Activate Power

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped . Tony Robbins 

Decisions have power, let me explain
If you decide that this is what I am going to do, you mind set changes, you commit to it, you find a way to take action and do what it takes
If you don't decide, it is just a "wait and see how it goes" action, things will come up and you will waver.
If you say "I will wait to see" that is not a firm committment
Not making  a decision is also deciding. The action that follows will show that you have not made a firm choice, that can be a positive or a negative.
If the decision is - I am not decising yet, the action will prove that!
If there is no decision, then by default you have not decided!

So, this is what I have learnt, decisions activate power, committment and action
no matter what the decision is
So decide
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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Accept No Bad Behaviour

Do not accommodate bad behavior - - - even your own. Iyanla Vanzant

Sometimes we just got to look in the mirror and "fess up"
Sometimes we just have to take responsibility for our actions and admit that we did it, we did the rubbish!
Sometimes we just have to say I apologize.
And most times doing that is challenging. Self reflection and owning our stuff takes courage.
But, let me share what I have learnt is - this process is essential in moving forward. And the even more beautiful thing is once we own and take responsibility for our stuff we can change and shift things! When we don't it will always be a case of us putting the responsibility on others - that simply does not and cannot work
Are you not setting boundaries? Then you must accept that and set some
Are you habitually late? that's you boo!
Are you unhealthy? - own it, then decide to do something about it
Are you stressed? - own it, then do something about it
When we own our stuff we are on our way..
Be prepared to not accept your own bad behaviour
Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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What is Shining?

We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining - they just shine . Dwight Moody

when you show up and you shine every single time, what happens is, shining  becomes a part of you, shining becomes your normand what is shining?shining is not hiding behind excusesshining is taking responsibility for your actionsshining is doing your best in the moment – sometimes the moment may not be perfect, but it ought not to stop you from doing your best in that momentshining means being honest shining means knowing that you will make mistakes shining means feeling all your feelings shining means having self beliefshining means being disciplinedshining means doing the workshining means having the faith when you have done all the work shining means being courageousshining means being flexibleshining means setting & respecting boundaries    
shining means using what you have to make something usefulKeep shining

Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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Do you have Boundaries?

Boundaries were necessary for a successful relationship. Most relationships aborted in the boundary defining stage. Not because people demanded what they needed. But because they didn’t, then got resentful about it.    Karen Morie Moring



Boundaries, oh Boundaries! My hardest lesson on the journey! I think of myself as a naturally kind and giving person. I love to help, to support, to send light, to be around positivity. And for that reason I make the extra effort to be kind to people, to show up smiling and to mind my own business.
And with this approach I have also learnt that there are those who are not in a position to receive my kindness and smiling. This is where boundaries come in, how do I draw a line in the sand when those who do not know how to receive my kindness? How do I not take this personally? How do I not keep looking for a way to "of help"? How do I say no?
How do I have a conversation with people about these boundareis and more than that, the consequences of jumping over the boundaries I set
I have been asking myself these questions.

Boundaries to me, is about self respect, it is about how I treat myself and treat others. Boundaries is how I take care of my mental and emotional health. Boundaries sets the tone on what I stand for and accept from myself and others.

Poor boundaries leads to emotional burnout and resentment- I ain't about that type of life now!
When I set a boundary I also respect myself more! What will I accept from you? What will I not accept? And am I ready to accept the consequences? Some people may not like boundaries, as a recovering people pleaser, this has been a challenge.

I have learnt that if I want everyone to like me no matter what, you don't need boundaries, but the consequences of that is a lack of self respect, resentment and regret! Newsflas, everyone cannot like me!
I have learnt that what I stand for will determine how I live and who I attract into my world
I have learnt that there can be renegotiation of boundaries and flexibility is part of the journey

Do you have boundaries?
Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagram
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The Try Police

making a commitment means more than saying "I'll try." It means saying "I'm all in. I'm totally committed here. Even if the going gets rough. In fact, especially then." Les Brown
I've been called the "Try Police"When people tell me "I'll try" or "I'm trying" I usually say to them - it is either you are doing or not doing - there is no tryMany people don't get it, some have started making a joke about it and calling me the "Try Police" I start policing them on their "try list"I have learnt that saying that I am trying can be a cop out, it denotes that you may not be all in, not toally committed. So I have changed my language I am doing or not doing. Changing my language affects how I do things, or not do thingsIf I say "well I'm trying" it could mean at least I have started, it could mean well leave me alone, it can mean whatever happens I tried even if it was not a full on effort.If I say I am doing, it means I am fully invested in it and kick starts my mindset to give it my allLife according to Akosua 
Are you doing or not doing?Peace

Stand Comfortably in the Shadows

“(T)he only thing to do is to be where you are  at this moment,  sometimes looking about in the full light of consciousness, other times standing comfortably in the shadows of mystery and the unknown…. Care of The Soul

I have learnt that one of the things that contributes most to my stress is dwelling on the past and projecting the future with what if's based on fear!

Being in the present moment takes practice
Being in the present moment is not only about where you are physically it is about being present in the moment, you mind is right there.
Not thinking about what you could have done, ought to have done, should have done, going to do
Sometimes, confessions on the journey,my mind is saying
"I could be watching football right at this minute"
"Did I take the stove off?" well you know that sets it off!?! What if the house burns down to the ground? yada yada yada
"What is on my to do list for tomorrow?"
"Did I pay that bill?"
the conversations are endless... and I miss what is going on in front of me
when we are in the moment, we feel the energies, we remain conscious, it is truly a freeing moment where nothing else matters
The only other time I feel this way is on Jouvert morning, this is the start of the carnival in Trinidad and Tobago where we party on the streets at 4am having total fun!
And now I have chosen to be present, conscious and to stop overthinking
Giving it a right go for this week!

Maybe you ought to join me
Peace

 Have you read any of Akosua's work?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagram
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Do You Lower Your Standards For Others?

"Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. ” Anonymous


"Just open up - you project that you are very serious and live a high flying life"- a guy told me this yesterday and yes, confessions on the journey, I really dig this guy! So when the statement was made I was a tad bit shocked! to me it was very random and out of the blue, because we haven't spoken for ages and the initial conversation was, to me at least, nothing to do with this!

I thought about it for a while! Why lower my standards just to have a man? Nah sah!
Why lower my standards just to be alone? Double na sah!
I am all advocating for flexibility and compromise, I am all for having standards and boundaries.

I am all for love! I love love
It is the greatest force and feeling ever!

So if anyone is coming at me to ask me to lower my standards I will have to politely decline and let them know I can and I will love them from afar!

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagram
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Ego vs Intuition

When you treat yourself with the kindness and high regard that you would give to one of your spiritual heroes, your body becomes the epicenter of quiet joy rather than a battlefield for the ego.
Debbie Ford

How do you know the difference between the voice of intuition and the voice of the ego?
I have asked myself this question a couple of times over the last month
Triggered of course by a chain of events. I was asked to assist  a community group, repeatedly. I kept procrastinating because, confessions on the journey, I do not agree with the philosophies of the leader. I can probably go so far as saying she gets on my nerves. And when things and especially people get on my nerves it bugs the whole hell out of me! (that is another post althogether!)
So how do you know the difference between the voice of the ego and the voice of the intuition?

I have deduced that the voice of intuition is the voice of peace, when you listen to it, you feel at peace.
The voice of the ego shouts, it speaks loudly and makes you overthink, there is no peace.
Life according to Akosua.....
So I listened to the voice, I chose the peaceful option,
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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Take Care of You

money, that thing we chase so much, can’t save us - Luvvie Ajayi


Someone I know asked me "Am I really taking care of myself?" I only ever considered that person as an aquitance, someone that I admire from afar, we have the occasional random conversation when we se each other at events or the occasional text message. So to hear the this question was almost out of the blue

I asked "why do you ask, do I project that I don't take care of myself?"
"No, I just see what is going on with people who are doing amazing things in the world committing suicide and I want to make sure that you are taking care of you"

I thought about that and it made me realise that I had to make another choice.
I stopped going to therapy because my counsellor took a job overseas, when she asked me if I wanted a referral, I said no thank you, I just wanted her! (that was me throwing my toys out the pram in protest)  I have to make a choice to continue at counselling

I go to counselling because
1. I want to unpack my "baggage" before I show up with it on every journey
2. I want to have the best tools to build my life
3. I get to speak to someone who is neutral and non judgemental
4. I get sound guidance
5. This is part of me loving myself

So, what are you doing? Are you really taking care of you?

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagram
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