Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 114

It May Look Different

It ain’t going to look like you already know. Your Blessings, Your Healing, Your Change Because if it does look like you know then then you will have no use for trust Iyanla Vanzant
One of my favourite lessons is leave some room for the unexpected because things are ususally never going to turn out the way we planned. Many times it turns out to be even better! it exceeds all expectations and plans.Human have a tendency to live from a place of safety and what was. What they ahve already seen with their eyes! And so we make plans with those lens not remembering that the Universe is a never ending source of awesomeness.
When we are healing, situations, people and events occur which are  totally new to us, which can sometimes  be frustrating and we are called to be present and trust the process. We get scared or impatient when it either drags on longer than we believe it should or we don't really know how to deal with the matter. This is where trusting the process comes in and is also essential in moving through.
Expect the Unexpected and Handle it!
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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Do You Justify Doing Crazy Stuff?

We like to justify, especially when we do crazy stuff - Iyanla Vanzant
How many of us do stuff we know is madness at the time but still do it, then we get asked about it or called out on it and justify it with some other mad reason?

Ok, I don't know about you but I have done it!
I have justified the crazy shit that I have done with some bull shit reason and excuse!

Why?
Because I wanted to be right
I did not want to look like a fool
I did not want anyone to tell me "I told you so"
I wanted to look good
I wanted to be the smart one
I wanted to show that my decisions were sound

And here's the thing with all of that, wanting and not wanting all that
it does not change what you have done nor change the lessons that you must learn in the process.

Life is like that, we make decisions that are not in the best interests for you in the moment. When we do not own it we continue to make the same mistakes and repeating the same patterns.

I have learnt to accept the reality and do not make yourself guilty
Feel the feelings and go through the journey

Get comfortable with making decisions that are not always popular or right.
Start there
But know this, you can always make another choice and you will learn valuable lessons on the journey.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal

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New Narratives

“Nothing has happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.” Eckart Tolle


The FiFa World Cup is here! I love football, confessions on the Journey, I am a fan, I can sit and watch football all day, from any league in the world, I know the names of footballer's, the countries that they are from and the club teams they play for. I read football stories and stay at home on weekends purely to watch football. It brings me joy!
So, the world cup of football is here, every four years the best 32 teams of the world get together and play to determine who the champion is. I have had the oportunity to go to a world cup and it exceeded all expectations!
The competition started yesterday, normally I would be ready in front of my telly, snacks in hand to watch the opening ceremony and the opening game, then I would schedule my life around the must see games. I have been doing this for as long as I know myself.
Yesterday I found myself working, I missed it all! At one point I realised that I was never present where I was, I was there only in body. It was frustrating me.
The light bulb went off, be present where you are at the moment and look forward to going home to watch the highlights!
Simple!!!
Changed the entire day's outlook
How many times are we somewhere else and it frustrates us
How many times are we not present where we are? we think about what we have to do next, what we did not do and still must, what is on television, all sorts of things to transport us to anywhere else but where we are!
When we are fully present we have a full experience
Where we are is where we are supposed to be
Mentally checking out, we miss vital lessons

Be present
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


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Stand Tall

Standing up for yourself means so many things. But mostly, standing up for yourself means everything. It's how you'll cultivate relationships that are healthy. It's how you'll remind yourself of your own power. It's how you'll show the world to treat you. It's how you'll get paid more. It's how you'll get all of what you deserve because you know you're worthy of it all first, and reality will rise to meet your belief in yourself. Maxie


Stand for yourself, stand in yourself, stand by yourself, stand with yourself.
Practice it, Live it, Do it!

Standing for yourself requires courage, trust and self validation
Standing for yourself you may fall, 

every time you fall down
Stand up, stand up, even if you're small, even if you're small
You can stand tall

Peace

Trust Yourself

When you trust yourself, you don't feel as anxious. Decisions don't feel so hard to work through. Challenging days can happen without throwing you so off-course.   Kate Courageous


Trusting yourself is a never a bad idea! It comes with you doing some work though! Depending on your circumstances, there are times when trusting ourselves can be challenging. What I have learnt is that trusting yourself is a process and does not happen overnight but with practice and faith it happens and makes all the difference, especially in making decisions.

Trusting Ourselves is important because

1. We can trust others.

2. We can trust life and the process of life

3. We can, when we make mistakes, trust ourselves enough to make another choice knowing that all will be okay

4. We listen to our intuition 

5. We develop self confidence and self love

When I go against what I know and trust it usually blows up in my face like a bomb! I ought to know this my now!
A friend of mine asked me to assist her with something, my intution screamed to me- no, don't do it, you love her however you know that she has challenges with committing and this what she is asking for requires committment
I spoke to her, I asked her if she was willing to commit
She said yes
I went through the hoops and facilitated the support, guess what?
She bailed!
I was mad with myself
I trust myself to know that I will be alright
but I did not listen and trust myself in the moment!
And with this lesson I am reminded that trust is an essential tool for this journey called life
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


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Do You Give Second Chances?

Missing you is not enough. Making “the biggest mistake of my life” is not enough. If a person wants a second chance, then they should have a lot of clarity around what made the first go at it not work. When growth is present there’s a greater chance at a different outcome. When there’s no growth, there’s little chance at a new ending . Vienna Pharaon

Are you a second chance type of person? Do you allow for second chances in your relationships? or do you cut people off first time they slip up?
we call my granma "thousand chance" she gives people so many chances, while everyone in the family has sworn off certain members, she keeps the door open until they actually die or stop coming around
I have some of my grandma's traits. What I have learnt is:

1. Setting boundaries and consequences for violating those boundaries are important - I ought to know what I will tolerate and others ouught to know as well as knowing what are the consequences for disrepecting them

2. Saying yes all the time is unsustainable - especially saying it because you want someone to like you or not be pissed off at you

3. Do not ignore the signs - people show you who they are in the first five encounters, we go on hoping that they or things will change

4. Fixing mistakes to not be wrong and look like a fool is a waste of time - get the lesson and get out of the mess

Peace

Will you take a Risk?

“ Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.”   Maya Angelou


Yesterday, the young ladies from the NiNa Programme participated in stilt walking, this is a long held tradition in our country that we call "Moko Jumbies". People walk on stilts as high as 6 feet tall, they dance on them and have a good ole time. Especially during our annual carnival celebration.

It takes courage and the willingness to take risks to get up on those stilts. I always marvel when I see them dancing and hopping on one foot.
Falling down is par for the course when learning the art
And so the thinking behind taking the young ladies was to build courage and for them to learn that falling is okay, it is in the staying down that can be an issue
They were all quite keen to go
We arrived and they were introduced to the stilts, they were all scared of falling, credit to them they all put on the stilts and made a right go of it
If I was not prompted I would have not had the courage to get up on those stilts. I would have gladdly sit on the sidelines

If you got off the sidelines & into the game, it might mean that you seriously suck. 
Or that you failed. 
Or that you made a mistake. 
It might mean that people can see you. They can see your skills. & thus, they can judge.
They can hurt your feelings.
Sidelines are safe. But you’ll always suck.
You’ll never get better at:
 writing.
Or speaking.
Or asking.
Or creating.
or loving.
or flirting.
Or any of it.
You’ll stay where you are.
Your skills won’t be tested.
You’ll never prove your own strength.
You’ll never get any better.
So get off of them.
Whatever sidelines you're standing on in your life.
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


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Get Off the Sidelines

There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection, from our being different and always in need of the forgiveness, encouragement and that missing half of ourselves that we are searching for, as the Greek myth tells us, in order to complete ourselves. Eugene Kennedy

Perfection is a form of fear, this much I have learnt.
When I wait and wait and wait for the perfect moment it never comes, I always see something that I can adjust or change or do better. Then I pack it in because either the time has passed or some other excuse that I give myself
On the flip side, I used to think that no one could do the past better than I could, so I would take it over, get frustrated and overwhelmed when I have too much to do and cuss!
Another form of fear.

Now, I just do, I must admit that this philosophy frustrates a lot of people, they tell me that I am rash, or I am non committal, or that I am ill prepared
What I have learnt is I can learn as I go, sitting on the sidelines keeps me both stuck and I continue to suck! I don't grow. Nothing can take the place of being in the arena. Of getting that experience
Yes Yes I know, we want it to turn out right, we want to make new friends, we want our old friends to not critisize.
Newsflash- the feedback, the pissing people off, the dealing with the fall out is all part of the lessons, all part of the growth - par for the course I say
So, get in the game, get muddy, get the lesson and then get out

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


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Flashbacks and Flashforwards

The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” Barak Obama


Yesterday I met with past participants of the NiNa Proramme . Confessions on the journey, I felt such a sense of joy in being aroud them, in seeing how level headed and generous they have become. I can understand now the joy of teaching and it's returns because if this is how I felt just being around them once per week, I can only imagine the feeling being around students daily and seeing their growth

Yesterday made all the sacrifices to find money and speakers worthwhile. That moment when I thought about packing it in last week, is now a distant memory especially seeing how they are now keen to give back to the programme.

Giving and receiving is indeed the same thing
I thank the Universe for the timely reminders that doing something bigger than yourself makes the world an easier place to live.

The NiNa Programme kicks off this July.

Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal


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Fleeting Gains

We know that material things don't offer contentment, but we still buy more-more of the props and gadgets our culture tells us we must have in order to be happy and "happening." Our addiction to consumption distracts us from seeing that we are disconnected from ourselves, from our truth and from one another. Any euphoria we gain from our material gains is fleeting at best . Susan L Taylor


How many times have we gone out to "buy our problems away?"
We go out to buy a new gadget, a new outfit, shoe, handbag or whatever shiny thing that would make us either forget or be happy in the moment. And then what happens?
Sometimes we feel guilty - especially when we use funds that ought to be utilised elsewhere or max out or credit card

Sometimes we don't even use the thing- it was just a spur of the moment purchase

Sometimes we just go back to the situation and repeat the "solution" which continues the cycle.

What I have learnt is, face it. Feel the feelings, Accept the moment. You don't have to act on it right away.  There is never any rush.
Once we feel the feelings we allow it the space to guide us and to leave us
Humans- love everything right away, as soon as possible. But let's think about how this life works
a baby takes up to 9 months
there are times when the sun comes up and the sun sets
a tree takes a while to grow
there is always a process, and a process takes time

So trust the process, take the time, feel the feelings and let it go it will save you not just some cash but also storage space and sanity.

Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?
Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
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