Colleen Brown's Blog, page 268

in which someone at work asks me a questionand I give them a...

in which someone at work asks me a question
and I give them a truthful answer

Your skinis theonly texturethat Iyearn for.

Your skin

is the

only texture

that I

yearn for.

You want to get to know me,but all you will ever knowis that my scars are measuredby everything that...

You want to get to know me,
but all you will ever know
is that my scars are measured
by everything that I
have ever suffered for,
and raced towards.

I remember months ago this girl messaged me on here and told me that my words lacked passion. That...

I remember months ago this girl messaged me on here and told me that my words lacked passion. That my meaning was nothing but mediocre. It hurt me. It made my scars burn, and my mind ache. But I didn’t give up. Her frustration allowed my mind to search for something more. And today, that very person messaged me and told me that she loved me. That my words meant everything to her, and that I shouldn’t give up. And instead of saying that I proved her wrong, and that she means nothing, I told her that her words were comforting, and that I loved her as well. I see no point in holding onto something that hurt me so much. And even if she doesn’t know what she did for me that day, I will. And I will always be thankful for her words that hurt me so deeply.

If it wasn’t for your love,I don’t think I would bewhere I am today;happy and...

If it wasn’t for your love,

I don’t think I would be

where I am today;

happy and hopeful,

and still searching

for my purpose

on this damaged earth.

And if I want to mourn over you,they should let me. Because youweren’t just someone you...

And if I want to mourn over you,
they should let me. Because you
weren’t just someone you meet
everyday; in the supermarket,
or standing behind in a line
at the gas station. You were
someone who was worth
fighting for. And I tried to
fight for you, and I hope you
know that. Because even if
you are now gone forever,
something inside of me is telling me
that you are still somehow
able to understand
just how much
I really did love you.

When I touched youfor the first time,I realized that your skinwould be the only texturethat I would...

When I touched you
for the first time,
I realized that your skin
would be the only texture
that I would yearn for,
for the rest of my life.

I remember when we used toget along so well. We neverfought about who was goingto pay the electric...

I remember when we used to
get along so well. We never
fought about who was going
to pay the electric bill this month,
or who loved the other one more.
I always used to tell you
that my love for you was something
that nothing could be compared to.
But you resisted my words,
and told me that they way you felt
about me was much stronger
than anything that I have ever
felt before. Even in the beginning,
we were never on the same page.
And up until now, I’m still
not sure why I ever stayed.
It may have been because of
my constant urge
for proving you wrong.
But then again, it could
have been the way
that loneliness made me feel;
trapped and disorganized.
And after all of that time
that it took me to finally
walk away, I now realize
that the way loneliness
makes me feel,
is almost as similar
to the way I felt
when I was with you.

How do you tell someone you love them but do not want to be in love with them?

You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You knowing that should be enough closure for your own mind. If you love this person, but you don’t to, or you can’t fall in love with them, what’s the point of furthering the relationship? Don’t force your feelings, or feel as though you’ll someday feel it, because most likely if you haven’t felt that way now, you won’t ever feel that way. All this person needs to know is that you love them. That’s it. You don’t have to confess what you feel. Some thing are better left unsaid. Unless this person asks you, “are you in love with me?” then you should tell them what you just told me. You’re not a bad person for not being in love with a person who is in love with you. It just means that it’s not meant to be.

I was always used to youstumbling in and out of the door;whether it was during sunrise,or sunset, I...

I was always used to you
stumbling in and out of the door;
whether it was during sunrise,
or sunset, I was used to you
never sticking around
long enough for me
to give you a proper goodbye.
I always kept the doors unlocked;
you never could find
that spare key. Even though
it was always
in the same place.
So instead of waking up
to the sound of you
mixing up freedom
and consideration,
I just did both of us a favor
and kept the door
unlocked; allowing you to feel
as if I really didn’t mind
that you were out
without me, looking for
something better
than this constant routine
of me guessing if you would
come home tonight.