Colleen Brown's Blog, page 204

The wind is carrying the dreams of the lifethat we should have had.When the air brushes against...

The wind is carrying

the dreams of the life

that we should have had.

When the air brushes

against my skin, nostalgia

takes over my mind,

and all of my current

thoughts of moving on

are replaced with memories

of the times when we

refused to believe

that our end would

ever be near.

I. I write poems aboutwhat our life could have been like if you wouldhave stayed with melike you...

I. I write poems about
what our life could have 
been like if you would
have stayed with me
like you promised
that you were going to.

II. I picture us together
exploring foreign lands,
and finding ourselves
while we are trying to
find a place that we
can call home.

III. I can imagine you
searching for parts
on my body that you
have yet to discover.
Territories that you have
always longed to name.

IV. I create these situations
in my mind with hopes
that even though you are
no longer here, that maybe
you are out there writing
about the same thing.

"I think it’s really important to learn how to love yourself before you go off and try to fall..."

“I think it’s really important to learn how to love yourself before you go off and try to fall in love with someone else. I mean, what’s the point of trying to create happiness for someone when you can’t even create happiness for yourself?”

- Small conversations, #7

I no longer miss you,and I hardly think of youthroughout the day.Your skin againstmy skin is a...

I no longer miss you,
and I hardly think of you
throughout the day.
Your skin against
my skin is a feeling
that I no longer 
yearn for. A feeling
that I have known
for so long, but never
had the strength
to rid of. That is until
the day you left.

If you are wondering
why I am writing this
to you, know that
these words are for
proof, so that the both
of us understand that
I am going to be
better off without you
with me. I am
writing this to you
so you know that
I no longer need you.

there is nothingthat i would rather dothan to find myselfwhile...

there is nothing
that i would rather do
than to find myself
while trying to
find you.

I wonder if he thinks of mewhen he is inside of her.I wonder if my namealmost slips from his...

I wonder if he thinks of me
when he is inside of her.
I wonder if my name
almost slips from his lips
onto her skin when he
is close to coming.
There are so many 
things that I wonder
about when it comes to him,
but most of all I wonder
if he still remembers me.

It should be methat you are writingabout. It should beme who is onyour mind whenyou cannot...

It should be me
that you are writing
about. It should be
me who is on
your mind when
you cannot fall
asleep at night.
It should be me
tangled around your
body. It should be
me who you love.
It should be me
who you need.

"I’m sorry that I always write about you. It’s a habit that I cannot control."

“I’m sorry that I always write about you. It’s a habit that I cannot control.”

- Small conversations, #6

He no longer looksat me with passion.He has not touchedme with dedication in months. I’m...

He no longer looks

at me with passion.

He has not touched

me with dedication

in months. I’m waiting

for the day that

he confesses to me

that the feelings he

once had for me

died with the inspiration

that used to keep

me awake. I am

hardly the woman

that he fell in love

with in the first place.

I cannot blame him

for not wanting this

anymore. Because I

no longer have

the energy to keep

this alive.

I want him to notice menoticing him, and I want him to take backthe love that he handedout to...

I want him to notice me

noticing him, and I

want him to take back

the love that he handed

out to another. I want

him to give it to me.

I would take care

of his love. I would

nurture his affections,

and I would show him

just how much

we both need this.