Colleen Brown's Blog, page 131
August 30, 2014
"you know where to find me.”
"you know where
to find me.”
Every night is the same dream;
we’re together, you’re happy,
and I am exactly where I...
Every night is the same dream;
we’re together, you’re happy,
and I am exactly where I am
meant to be. But then I wake up
and I am alone and I am forced
to face the truth of it all. That
we’re not together, but you’re
happy with someone else,
and I am still searching for
a feeling that comes close
to what my mind has created
for me in my own unrealistic
and unachievable dreams.
August 29, 2014
You will say anything
to try to get me to see
that everything you
once wanted no longer
has...
You will say anything
to try to get me to see
that everything you
once wanted no longer
has anything to do with me.
"I’ve been thinking about you
a lot lately, and for once these
thoughts are not made up
of wishing..."
“I’ve been thinking about you
a lot lately, and for once these
thoughts are not made up
of wishing you were here.
These thoughts contain
the truth of our love, and
just how much I really did
salvage trying to get you
to stay. Sometimes I wonder
if what we really had was
the real thing, the actual
kind of love that made others
look at us with envy. But then
I remember everything
you had promised me but
never kept, and I am back
to the thought of how much
your absence has allowed me
to understand what love
really is and how we never
had what we always craved.”
- "It wasn’t what we thought," - Colleen Brown
a lot lately, and for once these
thoughts are not made up
of wishing you were here.
These thoughts contain
the truth of our love, and
just how much I really did
salvage trying to get you
to stay. Sometimes I wonder
if what we really had was
the real thing, the actual
kind of love that made others
look at us with envy. But then
I remember everything
you had promised me but
never kept, and I am back
to the thought of how much
your absence has allowed me
to understand what love
really is and how we never
had what we always craved.”
- "It wasn’t what we thought," - Colleen Brown
When it comes to loving you,I know that I will never be wrong.
When it comes
to loving you,
I know that I will
never be wrong.
"You will do anything to make
anyone love you. Whether it be
believing in something that
you know..."
“You will do anything to make
anyone love you. Whether it be
believing in something that
you know nothing about,
or changing who you are
completely to get someone
to fall in love with you. Have you
ever been someone who is
not so temporary, so changeable?
Or have you always molded
yourself into something that
someone else desires? I wonder
how many people you have
become just to be someone’s
everything, or how much time
you’ve wasted on reinventing
yourself to fulfill someone
else’s expectations. I want to
tell you that you are perfect
just as you are, but you’ve
put on so many disguises
that I’m not sure which one
is really you.”
- "Who are you?" - Colleen Brown
anyone love you. Whether it be
believing in something that
you know nothing about,
or changing who you are
completely to get someone
to fall in love with you. Have you
ever been someone who is
not so temporary, so changeable?
Or have you always molded
yourself into something that
someone else desires? I wonder
how many people you have
become just to be someone’s
everything, or how much time
you’ve wasted on reinventing
yourself to fulfill someone
else’s expectations. I want to
tell you that you are perfect
just as you are, but you’ve
put on so many disguises
that I’m not sure which one
is really you.”
- "Who are you?" - Colleen Brown
I don’t want to revisit all of our memories. I have sealed them shut with the last words that you...
I don’t want to revisit all of our memories.
I have sealed them shut with the last words
that you gave to me when you made yourself
believe that I had moved on without any hesitation.
So this is it, this is my final goodbye. And I just
want to let you know before I am gone for good,
that everything we built was the most difficult
creation that I’ve ever had destroy.
August 27, 2014
"I remember seeing the lighthouse in the distance, and feeling her hand slip into mine on the car..."
“I remember seeing the lighthouse in the distance, and feeling her hand slip into mine on the car ride there. There was something in the way she kissed my lips that made me think that she knew this might be the last moment of us moving into the feeling of infinity together. Then suddenly we were in the sea together, being parted by the waves, but before I could be swept away by the force of my own future, the sound of her scream broke through my delusional concentration, and brought me back to the surface. I thought she needed to be saved. I could throw my limbs around her like I was made to keep her above the water. But then the sound of her laughter filled my ears, traveled across the sea, made love to the fucking sky, and I didn’t have to see her to know that she was safe in the arms of the ocean. I looked for her in my unfamiliar home, but before I could find her in the sea, I saw that she had been washed up on the shore; seaweed tied around her legs, mistaken for an affectionate eel, but looked tight enough to seem as if Poseidon was trying to drag her under. Trying to marry her to the tides, forcing her into his arms, a selfish God who only wanted her for himself. When I got home later that night, I could still feel the sand on the sensitive parts of my feet, could still feel the way the water moved across my skin like I was apart of the waves; the tides taking me back home.”
- "To Liam, for her," - Colleen Brown
- "To Liam, for her," - Colleen Brown
"We haven’t spoken in months,
or even acknowledged each other’s
existence. How can two people
who..."
“We haven’t spoken in months,
or even acknowledged each other’s
existence. How can two people
who once meant everything
to each other become strangers
after a small exchanging
of aggressive words? There are
questions that have been
lingering in my mind that are
waiting to be answered
by someone who has been
through this and survived.
Questions I know that only have
a bitter outcome but need
to be dealt with. And I know
that you will never be the one
who will help me solve
these mysteries that we set up
ourselves, but then again
I know that you’ve never been
able to leave an easily solvable
case open.”
- Colleen Brown
or even acknowledged each other’s
existence. How can two people
who once meant everything
to each other become strangers
after a small exchanging
of aggressive words? There are
questions that have been
lingering in my mind that are
waiting to be answered
by someone who has been
through this and survived.
Questions I know that only have
a bitter outcome but need
to be dealt with. And I know
that you will never be the one
who will help me solve
these mysteries that we set up
ourselves, but then again
I know that you’ve never been
able to leave an easily solvable
case open.”
- Colleen Brown
We could have
been happy
together.
We could have
been happy
together.
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