Colleen Brown's Blog, page 129
September 7, 2014
"Basically what we have here is a dreamer. Someone completely...
"Basically what we have here is a dreamer. Someone completely out of touch with reality."
September 6, 2014
I have lived without
being loved for so long
that whenever anyone
tries to take care of me
I...
I have lived without
being loved for so long
that whenever anyone
tries to take care of me
I immediately retreat.
It’s not that I don’t
want to share my
forever with someone,
but when forever
means having to look
ahead with another
set of eyes, all I can
see is my alone
someday having to
rekindle the flame
of its own solitude.
She tells me that my love
will never be enough
to mend every broken
piece of her that has
been...
She tells me that my love
will never be enough
to mend every broken
piece of her that has
been ruined while resting
in the hands of someone
who she thought only
had her best interest
at heart. But still I coddle
her in my arms in hopes
that maybe one day
I can heal her and allow
her to feel safe by being
with someone who
really does only have
her best interest at heart.
September 5, 2014
I don’t care about how much
you tried to love me, or how
much you wanted us to work
out, or even...
I don’t care about how much
you tried to love me, or how
much you wanted us to work
out, or even how hard you
claimed that you fought to
keep what we had alive.
You were the one who hurt
me. The one who made me
feel uncomfortable in my own
home. You were the one who
always walked away when you
thought that my affections
would never be enough.
I will never regret destroying
what took us so long to build
because you were never
the one who made all of this
pain seem worth it.
"I am thinking about every
time you have walked out
of my life without a reason,
an explanation, or..."
time you have walked out
of my life without a reason,
an explanation, or even
a warning. Whether it was
because you were afraid,
or that you weren’t ready
for this, or even when you
thought you found someone
else who could keep your
attention. You were always
coming and going like you
had the right. You would just
leave like you were going
to work, or to visit your parents.
You would be gone for days,
weeks, and sometimes even
months. No text, no call,
no sign of you returning.
But you always did return,
and I was always the one
who was waiting and who
was expected to greet you
with open arms. Welcome you
as if you just returned from
a vacation. I was always
here waiting, and not once
did I ever lock the door when
you shut it behind you.
I should have locked it,
should have changed the
combination to the garage doors.
I should have kept you out
of my home as well as my heart.
Well, it’s been a couple
of months since you’ve been
gone, and this time I will not
be waiting for you. This time
I will not hold the door open
for you. This time I will make sure
that there will be no way
that you can ever get back in.”
- "You are no longer welcome here," - Colleen Brown
September 4, 2014
I know that I was the onewho pushed you away when all you were tryingto do was make a homeinside of...
I know that I was the one
who pushed you away
when all you were trying
to do was make a home
inside of my heart.
I know that I was the one
who made you feel
insignificant when all you
were trying to do was
become something to me.
I know that I was the one
who changed your outlook
on love when all you
were trying to do was find
someone to create it with.
September 3, 2014
oh my god, that’s a woman’s suit
oh my god, that’s a woman’s suit
I wish that you
were here to see
how much the sky
really does...
I wish that you
were here to see
how much the sky
really does love me.
I was made to love you.
Even if you don’t think
that I’m supposed to.
I was made to love you.
Even if you don’t think
that I’m supposed to.
"Moving on is not always
as easy as they say it’s going
to be. I’ve packed all of your
things into..."
as easy as they say it’s going
to be. I’ve packed all of your
things into empty boxes,
all the memories too, and
put them in the back of my closet.
They said it would help, but
whenever I go to get dressed
in the morning I can hear everything
that still means something
to me screaming to be torn open,
begging me to revisit
what was once so easy to forget
until you were gone.
But I ignore its cries and I shut
the doors as if I am keeping
you out for good, putting
everything we once shared
in the back of my mind.
It’s getting easier to shut out
the sound of our past life
ringing in my ears as the days
go on. But no matter how much
I can make those echoing cries
of our once so loving history
turn into white noise, I can
still hear everything that we
once shared calling me to return.”
- "I’m trying not to listen," - Colleen Brown
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