Colleen Brown's Blog, page 124
September 27, 2014
"You didn’t care about our time
together until you realized
that we had so little left.
But isn’t..."
“You didn’t care about our time
together until you realized
that we had so little left.
But isn’t that how it always
works? You tolerate someone
until you find out that there
might be a reason to keeping
you apart forever. I will always
remember the look in your
eyes on the last night that we
had together. It looked as if
you were going to be sick,
or worse, that you regretted
the silence that was wedged
between us when you thought
that I wasn’t who you fell
in love with. But I never changed
just because your heart
wanted to. I never lied to you
when I said that you were
exactly who I wanted. Our last
moments together will forever
be on repeat in my mind.
Because during those last
hours I saw you for who you
really are; a girl so afraid of being
so in love with a stranger
that she would believe anyone
who could convince her
that she was right all along
about the woman she loved
being too good to be true.”
- "You should have listened to your heart," - Colleen Brown
together until you realized
that we had so little left.
But isn’t that how it always
works? You tolerate someone
until you find out that there
might be a reason to keeping
you apart forever. I will always
remember the look in your
eyes on the last night that we
had together. It looked as if
you were going to be sick,
or worse, that you regretted
the silence that was wedged
between us when you thought
that I wasn’t who you fell
in love with. But I never changed
just because your heart
wanted to. I never lied to you
when I said that you were
exactly who I wanted. Our last
moments together will forever
be on repeat in my mind.
Because during those last
hours I saw you for who you
really are; a girl so afraid of being
so in love with a stranger
that she would believe anyone
who could convince her
that she was right all along
about the woman she loved
being too good to be true.”
- "You should have listened to your heart," - Colleen Brown
The next time we meet
again it will be different.
Because when the new
time comes and you are
in my...
The next time we meet
again it will be different.
Because when the new
time comes and you are
in my arms once again
I will not hesitate to love
every inch of you and
I will make sure that this
time around I will not
take your limited presence
for granted like I did
the first time we met.
"I cleared out my room
so that nothing can
remind me of you.
It didn’t do a damn
thing because I..."
“I cleared out my room
so that nothing can
remind me of you.
It didn’t do a damn
thing because I still
see you everywhere.
I figured that when
you left so would
your memory. I have
cleaned my favorite
sheets so many times
that I can no longer
smell you, but I still
see your body inside
of them. They told me
that if I removed
everything that had
anything to do with you
that the memory
of you would subside.
I should have known
that they are all liars.
That none of them
must have loved
someone like you.
If they had they
probably would be
able to understand
why it’s been so hard
for me to forget
about you in all
the ways that I want to.”
- "I can still feel you in my room," - Colleen Brown
so that nothing can
remind me of you.
It didn’t do a damn
thing because I still
see you everywhere.
I figured that when
you left so would
your memory. I have
cleaned my favorite
sheets so many times
that I can no longer
smell you, but I still
see your body inside
of them. They told me
that if I removed
everything that had
anything to do with you
that the memory
of you would subside.
I should have known
that they are all liars.
That none of them
must have loved
someone like you.
If they had they
probably would be
able to understand
why it’s been so hard
for me to forget
about you in all
the ways that I want to.”
- "I can still feel you in my room," - Colleen Brown
September 26, 2014
let me be ur peach
let me be ur peach
I want to tell you
that it’s going to be
okay. That we are
going to come out
of this pain...
I want to tell you
that it’s going to be
okay. That we are
going to come out
of this pain stronger
than we were before,
but I think we both
know that isn’t
the case anymore.
That maybe we really
are supposed to end
up with someone else,
somewhere else,
having no strings
attached to what
remains of our once
so hopeful love.
September 25, 2014
"Nothing can compare
to the feeling of
your lips against mine.
When our bodies press
together and our..."
“Nothing can compare
to the feeling of
your lips against mine.
When our bodies press
together and our legs
intertwine I feel invincible
underneath cotton sheets.
But ever since you left
my heart has been as empty
as your side of the bed.
And I just want to know
how many more nights
I am going to have to
stay awake through
until you are finally back
in this room, in this bed,
and inside of my arms.”
- "Come back to bed," - Colleen Brown
to the feeling of
your lips against mine.
When our bodies press
together and our legs
intertwine I feel invincible
underneath cotton sheets.
But ever since you left
my heart has been as empty
as your side of the bed.
And I just want to know
how many more nights
I am going to have to
stay awake through
until you are finally back
in this room, in this bed,
and inside of my arms.”
- "Come back to bed," - Colleen Brown
September 24, 2014
fresh journals and cool autumn afternoons are the best kind
fresh journals and cool autumn afternoons are the best kind
I knew my feelings
for you were true
when I looked at myself,
at the world, and hated
everything I...
I knew my feelings
for you were true
when I looked at myself,
at the world, and hated
everything I saw but still
had love for you.
"Ever since I can remember
I was told that skinny
is a good thing, that the less
you have on your..."
“Ever since I can remember
I was told that skinny
is a good thing, that the less
you have on your bones
the better. But I never once
thought that thin was
the only kind of beautiful.
I was either too small
or too lucky. “Eat a burger,”
my brothers would say to me
while I was showing my mother
my new swimsuit. ” You look
like you’re 10, like you have
yet to hit puberty.” But before
I could tell them that I was
envious of the way my sisters
hips filled out her jeans,
or how she had to wear
a C cup, I was convinced
that being called a grain of rice
was a compliment.
When I was 12 years old
none of the boys in my class
ever looked at me as a woman
but as the small girl
who still looked like their
little sister. In gym class
my friends would flaunt
their breasts that rested inside
of their new bra, and when
I would ask where they
bought it, they would laugh
and tell me that they would
tell me in a couple of years,
or when my body finally
reached my age. Ever since
I can remember I was told
that being skinny is a good thing,
that one day I will be
thankful for the lack of skin
that covers my bones.
But now I am almost 22
and still I do not thank my skin
for never catching up
to the way I have always
wished my body could be.”
- "At least you’ll never have to worry about your weight," - Colleen Brown
I was told that skinny
is a good thing, that the less
you have on your bones
the better. But I never once
thought that thin was
the only kind of beautiful.
I was either too small
or too lucky. “Eat a burger,”
my brothers would say to me
while I was showing my mother
my new swimsuit. ” You look
like you’re 10, like you have
yet to hit puberty.” But before
I could tell them that I was
envious of the way my sisters
hips filled out her jeans,
or how she had to wear
a C cup, I was convinced
that being called a grain of rice
was a compliment.
When I was 12 years old
none of the boys in my class
ever looked at me as a woman
but as the small girl
who still looked like their
little sister. In gym class
my friends would flaunt
their breasts that rested inside
of their new bra, and when
I would ask where they
bought it, they would laugh
and tell me that they would
tell me in a couple of years,
or when my body finally
reached my age. Ever since
I can remember I was told
that being skinny is a good thing,
that one day I will be
thankful for the lack of skin
that covers my bones.
But now I am almost 22
and still I do not thank my skin
for never catching up
to the way I have always
wished my body could be.”
- "At least you’ll never have to worry about your weight," - Colleen Brown
"I want to change myself
into the people that I have
always envied. The redhead
with constellations..."
“I want to change myself
into the people that I have
always envied. The redhead
with constellations of freckles
on her skin, the blonde who
really does seem to have
more fun, and the jet black
haired woman who could
give a fuck less if a man thinks
she should be more feminine.
These women who seem
to have the entire world dangling
at the ends of their earlobes
are the people that I have
read about but have yet
to experience. These women
who have put men in their
Monday morning trash without
thinking twice. These women
who have more spine than
regret, more knowledge than
compassion, and more
wisdom of the world than
they do beauty tips.
These women, these fearless
leaders, these I could break
you into two if you touch me
again, are the women
that I have always wanted
to be able to change into.”
- "More than a role model," - Colleen Brown
into the people that I have
always envied. The redhead
with constellations of freckles
on her skin, the blonde who
really does seem to have
more fun, and the jet black
haired woman who could
give a fuck less if a man thinks
she should be more feminine.
These women who seem
to have the entire world dangling
at the ends of their earlobes
are the people that I have
read about but have yet
to experience. These women
who have put men in their
Monday morning trash without
thinking twice. These women
who have more spine than
regret, more knowledge than
compassion, and more
wisdom of the world than
they do beauty tips.
These women, these fearless
leaders, these I could break
you into two if you touch me
again, are the women
that I have always wanted
to be able to change into.”
- "More than a role model," - Colleen Brown
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